Poll of the Day > What is a wican

(+) Yeah! (+)

And how do I fuck it

Matched with a cute little tinder slut that identifies as Wican.

This wican is about to get a nice lickin
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In high school I became a Wiccan for like 3 weeks to impress a girl who was one

I had to make a "book of shadows", which means I had to wrap a notebook in a towel
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They're into nature and shit. Just tell her you want to bang her against a tree so that you're both in tune with Gaia, the Earth Mother, when you mutually orgasm.
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Nature witch that draws the power from nature.
And never say the witch word, they will turn into rabid SJWs if they hear anybody say it.
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A wiccan is a social outcast who actually believes in magic.

*shakes head*

A teenage girl, usually in the 1990s, who does not fully understand what a real pagan is.

Source: I'm an actual pagan, so I'm ... a little salty about that whole Wicca business.
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I think they're the ones on the blair witch
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They make wicker furniture and stuff.
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Sarcasthma posted...

They make wicker furniture and stuff.

Lmao
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Just say "Do you think we can join our energies together and become one? Yes, wican!"

And your in.
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Lots of mixed answers.

How do I fuck it
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SmokeMassTree posted...

How do I fuck it

First, identify its sex.
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Female

Do I play Harry Potter with her for foreplay?
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Yes, but make sure you're not in opposing houses.
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SmokeMassTree posted...

Female

Do I play Harry Potter with her for foreplay?

Are there other types of foreplay???
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Sarcasthma posted...

Yes, but make sure you're not in opposing houses.

Well I mean, normally I'm in the same house with someone I'm having sex with. I'm not into window play.
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SmokeMassTree posted...

Sarcasthma posted...

Yes, but make sure you're not in opposing houses.

Well I mean, normally I'm in the same house with someone I'm having sex with. I'm not into window play.

I chuckled.
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I went with the Wiccan lickin line. Let's see how it plays out.

I'm breaking my own rule of not tindering before 8
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Youre probably better off not, especially given the big selection on Tinder. I've known some "wiccans" and they're all insane.
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Insane is good for hookups tho bro.
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SmokeMassTree posted...

Insane is good for hookups tho bro.

Wiccans are not the good kind of insane. They're the kind of insane that would try and chop your dick off.
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GameReviews posted...

They're the kind of insane that would try and chop your dick off.

do as though wilt, lest ye harm none


chopping off a dick goes against the wiccan code

I got cursed by a Wiccan chick in high school. At 32 I've seriously been unable to have a relationship with a woman who isn't Wiccan.

Reminds me of Scooby Doo & The Witch's Ghost.
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Zikten posted...

GameReviews posted...

They're the kind of insane that would try and chop your dick off.

do as though wilt, lest ye harm none


chopping off a dick goes against the wiccan code

DDirtyDastard posted...

I got cursed by a Wiccan chick in high school. At 32 I've seriously been unable to have a relationship with a woman who isn't Wiccan.

These two statements would seem to contradict.
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A member of a religion called Wicca. It's based in pagan beliefs and is a pretty chill religion overall. Some Wiccans refer to themselves as witches or witch practitioners but nothing they do is really any wierder than what any religious person does.

She won't try and convert you or do anything wierd, so don't worry about that.

That said, this goes out the window if she's a Wiccan for the sake of being edgy. Then expect hours of talk about rituals and how she has a book bound in human skin (even though in Wicca doing harm to other people is literally the only sin).


For the record, not wiccan myself, just someone who likes to learn about different religions.

Jarsky2 posted...

A member of a religion called Wicca. It's based in pagan beliefs and is a pretty chill religion overall. Some Wiccans refer to themselves as witches or witch practitioners but nothing they do is really any wierder than what any religious person does.

She won't try and convert you or do anything wierd, so don't worry about that.

That said, this goes out the window if she's a Wiccan for the sake of being edgy. Then expect hours of talk about rituals and how she has a book bound in human skin (even though in Wicca doing harm to other people is literally the only sin).


For the record, not wiccan myself, just someone who likes to learn about different religions.

This has been every self identified Wiccan I've know. Which is only 3 people but still.
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DDirtyDastard posted...

I got cursed by a Wiccan chick in high school. At 32 I've seriously been unable to have a relationship with a woman who isn't Wiccan.

What am I in for here?
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You guys are acting like incredibly rude and immature middle schoolers. I'd be surprised if women didn't laugh at you or slap you if that's how you treat them. If your that desperate to get laid then go buy a blow up doll.

Wicca is a diverse set of religious beliefs, a modern form of ancient Paganism, believing in multiple deities, or that all deities are the different names of a creator God and Goddess. They honor the spirit and deities within nature.

It's no more or less weird then other religious beliefs.
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Lil_Bit83 posted...

You guys are acting like incredibly rude and immature middle schoolers. I'd be surprised if women didn't laugh at you or slap you if that's how you treat them. If your that desperate to get laid then go buy a blow up doll.

Wicca is a diverse set of religious beliefs, a modern form of ancient Paganism, believing in multiple deities, or that all deities are the different names of a creator God and Goddess. They honor the spirit and deities within nature.

It's no more or less weird then other religious beliefs.

Oh stop whining

CacciatoPart2 posted...

Lil_Bit83 posted...

You guys are acting like incredibly rude and immature middle schoolers. I'd be surprised if women didn't laugh at you or slap you if that's how you treat them. If your that desperate to get laid then go buy a blow up doll.

Wicca is a diverse set of religious beliefs, a modern form of ancient Paganism, believing in multiple deities, or that all deities are the different names of a creator God and Goddess. They honor the spirit and deities within nature.

It's no more or less weird then other religious beliefs.

Oh stop whining

No
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Lil_Bit83 posted...

You guys are acting like incredibly rude and immature middle schoolers. I'd be surprised if women didn't laugh at you or slap you if that's how you treat them. If your that desperate to get laid then go buy a blow up doll.

hahaha what the fuck am I reading???
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Magic isn't real. Grow up, people.

Wicca = Voodoo for White/European people.

InfernalFive posted...

Lil_Bit83 posted...

You guys are acting like incredibly rude and immature middle schoolers. I'd be surprised if women didn't laugh at you or slap you if that's how you treat them. If your that desperate to get laid then go buy a blow up doll.

hahaha what the fuck am I reading???

A virgin's first visit to POTd
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Jarsky2 posted...

A member of a religion called Wicca. It's based in pagan beliefs and is a pretty chill religion overall. Some Wiccans refer to themselves as witches or witch practitioners but nothing they do is really any wierder than what any religious person does.

She won't try and convert you or do anything wierd, so don't worry about that.

That said, this goes out the window if she's a Wiccan for the sake of being edgy. Then expect hours of talk about rituals and how she has a book bound in human skin (even though in Wicca doing harm to other people is literally the only sin).


For the record, not wiccan myself, just someone who likes to learn about different religions.

lol wtf
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http://www.wikihow.com/Become-a-Wiccan
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SmokeMassTree posted...

I went with the Wiccan lickin line. Let's see how it plays out.

Dr Seuss is not hot.
Stop it.
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As a Wiccan, I sometimes call myself a "tree hugging dirt worshipper". But that's mainly because I grew up in the country and like playing with toads.
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Fierce_Deity_08 posted...

As a Wiccan, I sometimes call myself a "tree hugging dirt worshipper". But that's mainly because I grew up in the country and like playing with toads.

Lol