Current Events > So, a girl wants to marry me. She's got $250,000 in student debts. I own a house

(+) Yeah! (+)

Would my house be in danger if I marry her?
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No
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If it leads to divorce, yea.
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No
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frozenshock posted...

Would my house be in danger if I marry her?

Yes.
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Idk but unless she has landed an amazing career already, don't do it!
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Don't do it until she pays off her student loans.
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frozenshock posted...

Would my house be in danger if I marry her?

it could affect your credit score but since you already own the house, you're probably ok.

Your house would only be in danger if you got divorced.
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-l___________l- posted...

Why would you marry someone who you refer to as "a girl?"

I am assuming this is a hypothetical question.
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Pre-nup?
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s0nicfan posted...

If it leads to divorce, yea.

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I thought you only split what you earn collectively after getting married

In any case fuck that, her debt essentially gets shared with you
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-l___________l- posted...

Why would you marry someone who you refer to as "a girl?"

TC ruined his fake story in the first couple of words of his topic title.
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did she go to Harvard or something? o_O
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Make her sign a prenup and make sure her debt stays her debt.
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We want prenup
We want prenup

YEAH

Yo_D_oY posted...

Make her sign a prenup and make sure her debt stays her debt.

Unfortunately because of bullshit legal bias, feminism and white knighting, judges can and do throw pre-nups right out the door if they don't like them.
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Giant_Aspirin posted...

did she go to Harvard or something? o_O

No but the money includes 4 years of rent as well since she had to borrow for everything

She is graduating in a month. And she doesn't have a job landed.

And she insists that once we get married we need to have a joint account.
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If you mean "will her debt become my debt" then no.

If you mean "Marrying a financial idiot could be bad" then yes.
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SideshowBob311 posted...

If you mean "will her debt become my debt" then no.

If you mean "Marrying a financial idiot could be bad" then yes.

exactly this
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WaffIeElite posted...

Yo_D_oY posted...

Make her sign a prenup and make sure her debt stays her debt.

Unfortunately because of bullshit legal bias, feminism and white knighting, judges can and do throw pre-nups right out the door if they don't like them.

That's why you get a good lawer to drum it up.
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frozenshock posted...

Giant_Aspirin posted...

did she go to Harvard or something? o_O

No but the money includes 4 years of rent as well since she had to borrow for everything

She is graduating in a month. And she doesn't have a job landed.

And she insists that once we get married we need to have a joint account.

That's a huge Red Flag IMO.

Maybe hold off on marrying until she gets a job so she has some way to take care of debt.
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frozenshock posted...

Giant_Aspirin posted...

did she go to Harvard or something? o_O

No but the money includes 4 years of rent as well since she had to borrow for everything

She is graduating in a month. And she doesn't have a job landed.

And she insists that once we get married we need to have a joint account.

....

HAHAHAHAHAHA oh boy. Abandon ship.
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Tell her you support her desire to be an independent woman and want to wait to get married until she can fully support herself and her debt.
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i wouldn't ask this question to CE. they are likely to give you bad advice because

1) they hate women
2) they dont have money
3) they are still kids
4) are jealous that you're gonna get married.

if you want i can ask a personal finance board i frequent. they've helped me though a bunch of things.
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are you in central arkansas?

It could be some other frozen user
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MixedRaceBaby posted...

if you want i can ask a personal finance board i frequent. they've helped me though a bunch of things.

I frequent a lot of those. All of them would advise TC to avoid this marriage like the plague that it would be.
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QuantumScript posted...

frozenshock posted...

Giant_Aspirin posted...

did she go to Harvard or something? o_O

No but the money includes 4 years of rent as well since she had to borrow for everything

She is graduating in a month. And she doesn't have a job landed.

And she insists that once we get married we need to have a joint account.

....

HAHAHAHAHAHA oh boy. Abandon ship.

Oh I pretty much already did. But I like to get the feel of what CE thinks.
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and for all the folks saying wait til she pays it off. depending on her income, paying off 25000 dollars could take 5-10 years.

and dont act like having student loan debt means you aren't good with money. when universities cost tens of thousands of dollars per year just to attend, how else are you gonna afford tuition?

student loans are an investment into your professional growth.

as long as shes paying them back in the best way that she can and not missing payments, how is she not "financially smart"?
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I didn't say wait until she pays it off. I said wait until she's proven herself financially stable enough to support herself and her habits.
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MixedRaceBaby posted...

and for all the folks saying wait til she pays it off. depending on her income, paying off 25000 dollars could take 5-10 years.

250,000* will almost certainly take longer than 5 or 10 years to pay off

you would need to be making quite a bit of money, and she doesn't have a job lined up yet so that seems unlikely to be the path she's on

MixedRaceBaby posted...

as long as shes paying them back in the best way that she can and not missing payments, how is she not "financially smart"?

idk, she could be I suppose, but it would need to be a pretty killer school/program and then I would question why she doesn't have set employment already because part of the reason you pay a billion dollars to go to elite schools is for the connections
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MixedRaceBaby posted...

i wouldn't ask this question to CE. they are likely to give you bad advice because

1) they hate women
2) they dont have money
3) they are still kids
4) are jealous that you're gonna get married.

if you want i can ask a personal finance board i frequent. they've helped me though a bunch of things.

This... If CE doesn't grow up, they're all gonna experience divorce and blame it on something else.

When you go into something expecting it to fail at a 50% rate, you get America, which has by far the biggest divorce rate, and nobody treats it like it's a serious thing or ask why it even happens
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KamenRiderBlade posted...

And she insists that once we get married we need to have a joint account.

TC are you blind....
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frozenshock posted...

Oh I pretty much already did. But I like to get the feel of what CE thinks.

You made the right decision. Congratulations!
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To those saying that the debt wouldn't be his, are ya'll sure about that?

A few years ago I remember helping a lady calculate her taxes/ how much should be taken out of her check per month. Reason she asked for my help is because she had gotten a tax refund but the government took the entire thing because of student loan debt her previous husband (whom she divorced many years prior) had taken out BEFORE they even got married.
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frozenshock posted...

Giant_Aspirin posted...

did she go to Harvard or something? o_O

And she insists that once we get married we need to have a joint account.

u wot m8
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I wouldn't mess with her and yes with no prenuptial agreement to a marriage, she can take half of everything you own. If you have a child with her... oh boy, she can ride your ass for child payments and if you get a bonus so does she.

My advice is dangle your line out in the sea longer for something a hell of a lot better.
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legendarylemur posted...

When you go into something expecting it to fail at a 50% rate, you get America, which has by far the biggest divorce rate, and nobody treats it like it's a serious thing or ask why it even happens

I would bet that the vast majority of people that go into a marriage don't expect it to fail.
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Why were you even considering this? Is she hot or something?
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Twin3Turbo posted...

A few years ago I remember helping a lady calculate her taxes/ how much should be taken out of her check per month. Reason she asked for my help is because she had gotten a tax refund but the government took the entire thing because of student loan debt her previous husband (whom she divorced many years prior) had taken out BEFORE they even got married.

there must be more going on there, because generally this isn't true of student loan debt
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Holla we want prenup
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Balrog0 posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

A few years ago I remember helping a lady calculate her taxes/ how much should be taken out of her check per month. Reason she asked for my help is because she had gotten a tax refund but the government took the entire thing because of student loan debt her previous husband (whom she divorced many years prior) had taken out BEFORE they even got married.

there must be more going on there, because generally this isn't true of student loan debt

I dunno, I'm just relaying what she told me.
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frozenshock posted...

Giant_Aspirin posted...

did she go to Harvard or something? o_O

No but the money includes 4 years of rent as well since she had to borrow for everything

She is graduating in a month. And she doesn't have a job landed.

And she insists that once we get married we need to have a joint account.

Lol
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Twin3Turbo posted...

legendarylemur posted...

When you go into something expecting it to fail at a 50% rate, you get America, which has by far the biggest divorce rate, and nobody treats it like it's a serious thing or ask why it even happens

I would bet that the vast majority of people that go into a marriage don't expect it to fail.

Plus it's not 50% anymore, it's closer to 40% and falling.

http://time.com/4575495/divorce-rate-nearly-40-year-low/
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Twin3Turbo posted...

legendarylemur posted...

When you go into something expecting it to fail at a 50% rate, you get America, which has by far the biggest divorce rate, and nobody treats it like it's a serious thing or ask why it even happens

I would bet that the vast majority of people that go into a marriage don't expect it to fail.

I think the problem is that it's not an absolute majority. I've lived in other countries, and divorce is treated as something near forbidden. Here, it's like people treat marriage as something fleeting or entirely law based. There's no perception that it's something sacred.
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Where did she go to school and what is her degree in?
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Damn_Underscore posted...

Why were you even considering this? Is she hot or something?

Well, she's ok. She used to be much better looking but in her studies she gained like 10 pounds a year or something. Not unusual I guess. Compulsive eating and the stress of exams.

I guess I really liked her, but through the years my feelings for her kind of eroded little by little. I'm not a psychologist but she's kind of bipolar-ish... I mean she can be super sweet one instant and explode in anger the next. I guess through the years every time she got pissed off at me for some tiny little thing I just felt less and less close to her. It happens gradually I guess.

The debt thing is just the icing on the cake. I always knew she was going to be in debt but I suppose growing out of love made me smarter.
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