Board 8 > Girl I hooked up with announced on FB she once had an abortion.

(+) Yeah! (+)

We hooked up almost two years ago...no context clues on when she had her abortion.

I feel pretty sure she would have told me if the pregnancy was ours, but it's an interesting dilemma.
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Don't ask. Not really your business if it was just a hook up.
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did she ask you to chip in $$?

that's probably the answer
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Did you nut inside?
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Don't ask. She woulda told you.
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Not really your business. Put it out of mind.
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We were neighbors and friends for about nine months before the hook-up. No requests for money. It was all protected. We attended a wedding together and had a great weekend -- some conversations since then, but I haven't seen her again since we've been in different states ever since.
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Theo72 posted...

Not really your business. Put it out of mind.

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I don't think it was really important for you to know even if it was yours, mostly because you two have been separated for a time. I mean, the situation is kinda moot to begin with anyways.

And I don't mean that in any harsh manner, I mean "You two had a great time, had sex, and then went your separate ways". She didn't ask you or presumably anyone else to take responsibility for the fetus, she considered it her own business. And so she took care of it as such.

...Don't get me wrong, though, I do understand that things like this tend to spark curiosity and wonder, and that it's human nature to ponder "what ifs" and "maybe". And there's no real harm in pondering them, either, so go ahead and ponder.

...I will say though that if I was a woman, got pregnant, and had an abortion, I might get a little miffed by someone asking "is it mine?" even if it was theirs.
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can you imagine how awkward the conversation (on fb, even worse in person but i mean that wont happen) would be like

no
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Abort it and...abort it?
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hard no
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This is so unbelievably not your business. Do not ask, do not pass Go, do not collect $200 (to then spend on an abortion).
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc
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Cool, thanks for the reassurance (well-placed Office-meme, swirl). Won't be asking.


Got me curious where the line is for this type of thing now though. Like...say it WAS mine for two examples here -- both from her perspective and mine.

What if we were dating instead of just friends before this final weekend we hung out? Does some amount of dating matter if we had split ways by the time she found out?

I would have supported making that decision if this was something that actually involved me, but say I was hard-ass religious about the issue and she already knew it. Would me having a clear anti-abortion stance make me any more entitled to ask or be told on her own terms?
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ask her cuz it would be funny
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I personally wouldn't ask, but the 'none of your business' reasoning is poor from my perspective

Who cares if it's your business? If she didn't want to answer the question she would be perfectly within her right to say so

To answer your hypotheticals harrich, there's no right answer. It's an intensely private situation and up to individuals to decide. There's no global guidebook

The crappy party is most people here will just tell you that as the man you don't have the right to anything until the fetus is born and needs assistance. It's obviously not really that simple, though
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But yeah feel free to ask but be prepared for the answer 'lol no' or general disgust or belittlement

I generally don't seek out details of other people my romantic partners have boned
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Only bump.
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To be perfectly honest, even if it was yours, if she didn't tell you, it's none of your business
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Why the hell would you even think to ask if you used protection? Lol
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You may want her to confirm the shaggy defense for your shag one night but it's a dangerous rabbit hole.

HaRRicH posted...

What if we were dating instead of just friends before this final weekend we hung out?

Well yeah, it'd make sense to ask in that. You'd reasonably assume your dick played a role and if she cheated, well... Okay. Bit late to know now but would help with leaving her out too.
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Corrik posted...

Why the hell would you even think to ask if you used protection? Lol

Accidents dude, they can happen.
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People are getting pretty defensive with this "none of your business" thing. The girl posted about it on facebook ffs.

But I think it's safe to assume it's not yours.
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Even if it was yours, why would you care? I mean you dodged a bullet!

Like the facebook post but don't comment
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WiggumFan267 posted...

Like the facebook post but don't comment

I did.
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"Hey, remember me? We hooked up that one time. I saw your FB post about an abortion and I was wondering..."

Does that sound like something you should say to a woman?
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EndOfDiscOne posted...

People are getting pretty defensive with this "none of your business" thing. The girl posted about it on facebook ffs

People say things in public all the time, that doesn't make it my business to stick my nose in and inquire further though.
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You can ask if you want.

Part of the reason people post this kind of stuff publicly is when they want to de-stigmatize abortion by making people more comfortable talking about it and having open conversations.

Now, whether you want to feel awkward or not is up to you, of course.
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