Got a good chunk of posts last time I tried it, can't hurt to give it another go, can it?
The premise is very simple. You post links to metal songs. Whatever sub-genre you feel like, not going to nitpick too much on whether something is or isn't metal as long as it's close enough to see why you'd label it that way. I will listen to these songs, assign a numerical rating on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being the worst thing ever, and 10 being damn near perfect (expect most ratings to fall in the 3-7 range, since I don't condense my ratings into the 7-10 range like a lot of people do), and also give a "brief" write up of what I thought of it; this could be anywhere from a few words to a few paragraphs, depending on my mood and how much I have to say about it. I will listen to at least one minute of every song - I'll stop there if it's bad enough that I can't see how listening further wouldn't just make me more annoyed at it.
That's a lot of words for premise I called very simple! Here's the summary: Post metal song. Me rate.
Away we go?
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We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny
I'll let you slide with the lack of a link this time - next time I don't see either youtube.com or the Legend of Zelda protagonist, it's off with your head.
Anyway. Metallica songs always tend to provoke lengthy write ups from me so I'll try to restrain myself. I'm not a fan of them and mostly dislike their post-RtL material. And I really don't like S&M, because inserting orchestra elements into music that wasn't written to work with them is not a great idea. No Leaf Clover at least was presumably written with them in mind though, so that's a plus! It's probably the best song they released after the Black Album, though the competition is...not stellar. It manages to stay fairly interesting the whole way through and Hetfield's voice actually sounds appropriate for it, unlike a lot of modern Metallica stuff. Although I don't care much for his vocals towards the end of the song.
See, lengthy even when I try to show restraint. That's a lot of words to ultimately lead up to...
6/10
From: DpObliVion | #003 I'll post this one because I still have it open in a tab:
God damn it these lengthier songs are the biggest hassle for a topic like this. Nothing against long songs in general (and a lot of my favourites are 8+ minutes long) but they're time consuming for these purposes.
That's also a longer intro than I'd usually be up for, but it's actually pretty good so I can let it slide. Not so keen on what follows though, the whole symphonic death/black metal styles don't tend to work too well in my mind. There's a lot of useless fluff from the keyboards and what I'd assume is a violin or similar, it just feels very out of place. Vocals don't really do too much for me either, cleans feel really bland, and the harsh ones are...just kind of there. The song feels like they're trying to be kind of harsh but not too much and they don't really end up achieving the best qualities of either side.
Overall, I like the intro, and feel like pretty much everything that follows is unremarkable.
4/10
From: Lockes Ragnarok | #004 Between the Buried and Me - Selkies: The Endless Obsession
Have I mentioned I hate Between the Buried and Me? Because I do.
That could be the write up right there but I'll try to be productive. I really don't like the style of dual guitar that gets employed in the intro here. I really don't like the production much either, although it's not TOO overly clean. And the big problem is simply that it doesn't feel coherent at all - we get switches in style and pace periodically that don't flow together at all, there's no real sense of build up to any of up. When I hit the same breakdown riff that every god damn band ever uses these days, only slightly sped up, I've had enough and stop listening.
2.5/10
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We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny
Oh, Blind Guardian. When on Earth have I listened to Mirror Mirror? If you asked me I'd say "not since I saw them live in December 2010", but apparently it's been a lot more recently than that.
Anyway, it's kind of a shame they got posted soon because my disdain for European style power metal hasn't had a chance to manifest itself yet, so it's less obvious that these guys are one of the very rare exceptions, although I still prefer their earlier, simpler stuff to a lot of the more over the top material they've done, this song included. I don't know what it is but this song has never appealed to me all that much, not even when I was much more into the band than I am now. It's not bad or anything, it's fairly catchy and all, but it just doesn't grab my attention.
6.5
From: McBonesII | #006 Gospel - Congratulations... You've Hit Bottom
My first impression here is "this song feels like someone set the metronome higher than they intended". Something just feels very off about the speed of it, and that feeling comes and goes throughout the song. I'm not sure these vocals fit here, although they aren't awful or anything. The rest of the music is actually somewhat good at developing a distinct atmosphere, and further exposure does make the vocals feel a bit more fitting. Not bad.
6/10
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
Have I mentioned I hate Between the Buried and Me? Because I do.
That could be the write up right there but I'll try to be productive. I really don't like the style of dual guitar that gets employed in the intro here. I really don't like the production much either, although it's not TOO overly clean. And the big problem is simply that it doesn't feel coherent at all - we get switches in style and pace periodically that don't flow together at all, there's no real sense of build up to any of up. When I hit the same breakdown riff that every god damn band ever uses these days, only slightly sped up, I've had enough and stop listening.
Fair enough, it isn't for everyone, but if you stop before the last 3 minutes then you're missing the best part!
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Let's get drunk and make bad decisions "Life is a bunch of stuff" -- Whiskey Nick
From: nintendogirl1 | #009 Whoo! Highest yet. Let's go with....
No seriously now why is this a link I've clicked before, I haven't even ****ing listened to this since shortly after the album came out.
It's Symphony X - Paradise Lost for those who didn't click it, fyi.
Symphony X is hit and miss with me, they're cheesy but manage to be just solid enough to usually entertain me, I think mainly because I like Russell Allen's voice, which also is why, perhaps surprisingly, I tend to prefer them when they're *not* trying to be too heavy and aggressive, because he's less good at that. I feel like that was why I didn't care for this album much, although I could be wrong. I *do* remember that this is one of the songs on this album that I really do like, because it's Russell Allen doing what he does best and the rest of the band not getting carried away with needless solos or excessive (and bad) attempts at being aggressive.
7.5/10
Next someone will post a Kamelot song and we'll have officially completed the holy trinity of popular power metal bands that don't make me want to kill myself.
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
From: Panthera | #013 Next someone will post a Kamelot song and we'll have officially completed the holy trinity of popular power metal bands that don't make me want to kill myself.
...
I was about to. (I would've posted Karma or The Haunting)
From: Psycho_Kenshin | #010 Striker - Dark Heart of the City
I feel like this is a band I kept being told to check out at some point in time and never did.
Man this singer sounds like a drunk Bruce Dickinson <_< That's not the worst insult ever, nor is it the best compliment. I guess what I'm saying is "the vocals are okay". I don't care at all for that pseudo-breakdown around 2:45 in. Other than that though I'm not unhappy with this, it's energetic and I'm not one to whine about a band sounding similar to older bands. Based on this one song I wouldn't put these guys up with the best of the recent traditional/speed/thrash bands that have been popping up everywhere, but they're not the worst of it either. Also apparently they're from my hometown, which is worth...a few extra words at the end of the write up. Yay?
6.5/10
From: VeryInsane | #011 *Trolls you with a 13 minute song*
God damn it. And the worst part is it's a song I've heard before, but not for many years so I can't just skip listening and review it purely from memory the way I would if some joker tried to rec Dopesmoker or Light of Day, Day of Darkness to me.
I guess Helloween falls outside the "makes me want to kill myself" bracket too, just barely? I like Walls of Jericho at least. After that they went away from the speed metal sound and towards the euro-power metal style I so despise, and let's be blunt and say that Michael Kiske's voice is somewhere below "having an hour long severe muscle spasm in my calf" on my list of things I'd rather not endure. Speaking of endurance I'm not sure I can just sit here and listen to this the whole way through <_< I got to about six minutes in, skipped through to random parts later to see if anything compelled me to comment, and decided to leave it at "I don't enjoy this much and it's trying way too hard to be epic, so I will label it pseudo-epic and rate it
3.5/10"
From: Lockes Ragnarok | #012 Fair enough, it isn't for everyone, but if you stop before the last 3 minutes then you're missing the best part!
The way I see it, it's up to the band to give me incentive to want to wait around for the best part!
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We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny
Panthera posted... Based on this one song I wouldn't put these guys up with the best of the recent traditional/speed/thrash bands that have been popping up everywhere, but they're not the worst of it either.
Granted we have pretty different taste, but could you list say your top five recent bands in that area?
X-Japan - Silent Jealousy
-- One Piece: Pirates with style! -= Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage Action =-
From: nintendogirl1 | #014 I was about to. (I would've posted Karma or The Haunting)
Let's go with this instead now.
Probably would have given either of those songs a higher rating than I'm likely to give anything by Opeth!
I've never actually listened to Damnation before, so with that and it being different than their usual material, my general opinions on Opeth (that they are the masters of taking 3 minutes of good music and spreading it over 10 minutes of agonizing repetition and filler) aren't automatically applicable here. I do like Akerfeldt's voice (I also am surprised I was able to spell his name properly) so that's a plus here. This is pretty good stuff, although that old Opeth curse is coming back when I look and find myself thinking "wait there's still three minutes to go", apparently even a stylistic change can't totally help them escape their fondness for dragging things out. Although I do like the solo that comes shortly after I had that thought, so at least they had something good waiting for me on the other side!
Not bad, I'll admit I'm pretty surprised to see myself rating an Opeth song and not being angry about it.
7/10
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We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny
This is as good a time as any to say that people not noticing the "h" in my username never fails to annoy me, because it associates me with Pantera, and I hate them. Although in fairness, this is before they really started to suck (and before the period that gets fellated way too damn hard by a lot of people, and I won't deny that I hate the general perception of Pantera as being something all metal fans like as much or more than I do their music). That was very off topic. Here's a number with a symbol separating it from another number.
5/10
From: Emporer_Kazbar | #016
Your username effected my song choice. >_>
Allow me to express my feelings on Pantera again: BKLAAGAGAGDGY&DWDWY&. I know you haven't seen that last write up yet so it's not fair to judge you for not being aware of it, but hey, it's not fair to make me listen to Walk either so I'll see you in hell, buddy!
Yeah this is not before they started to really suck and between this song being something I've had the misfortune to hear playing before too many concerts and it being referenced a lot in discussions of this band, it's really built up into something even more awful than it actually is, and that is pretty damn bad. Yeah, you're not getting a coherent assessment of a Pantera song out of me. I guess I'll try...the chorus sucks?
1.5/10
From: Psycho_Kenshin | #018 Granted we have pretty different taste, but could you list say your top five recent bands in that area?
X-Japan - Silent Jealousy
Hmm, top five. Christian Mistress (especially in light of their newest album, Possession, which is killer), Zuul, In Solitude, Portrait, White Wizzard. I know I'm forgetting someone in there. Oh, Enforcer. I'd put them ahead of White Wizzard I think, but I'm not going to because...stream of consciousness writing or something?
Oh, right, this song. This feels a lot like the kind of power metal I was just ranting about with Helloween, coupled with vocals that may annoy me even MORE. Man, we're reaching new standards in nuisance every day! If the singer were murdered and replaced with someone who doesn't suck and some of the needless "symphonic" (for lack of a better term) elements were excised and the riffs were a bit less generic, this wouldn't be too bad. Now that is how you damn something with faint praise.
3/10
From: TheArkOfTurus | #019 Aww, there goes my recommendation. Anyway...
What kind of jerk would recommend an hour long song for a topic like this, seriously <_< Rating of it would probably be in the 5.5/7 range.
Alright so this is a little weird. The first minute or so bugs me for some reason, I think it feels too cheerful maybe. Then we get into some stuff that feels like it belongs in a PSX era Mega Man X game (maybe Cyber Peacock's stage?). While listening to this song I started looking up the past line up of Arcturus and various other bands and it kind of made me zone out of the music, which is not a good sign. I think it's safe to say that I didn't care for it much.
4/10
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
I do love Zuul, Enforcer, and White Wizzard. I dig Holy Grail even more so (most of the line-up who were White Wizzard on their High Speed GTO EP), you dig them as well?
I'll check out those other ones, always looking for more bands.
And X-Japan doesn't really have much in common with Helloween, though they're both excellent.
-- One Piece: Pirates with style! -= Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage Action =-
From: VeryInsane | #021 Well I knew that was going to fall flat! >_>
Way to get Redemption? With Viking Metal!
Way to get redemption with a ten minute song, yeah that's polite. And anything labelled "Viking Metal" always puts me on edge that I'm going to hear some god awful melodic death metal with zero inspiration behind it. So suffice to say, I'm raging at you.
Or rather I would be were Windir not a band I'm quite fond of. I feel like every time I make a topic like this on any GameFAQs board, this song is inevitably posted. Pretty weird how usually these topics consist mostly of me being increasingly frustrated by not enjoying things and yet one of the main commonalities between them is something that's really good. Anyway, this is a good example of how to make black metal be atmospheric without it being either devoid of intensity or just plain ridiculous (see also Mgla - With Hearts Toward None and the ultimate example, Beherit - Drawing Down the Moon). The last half of the song being an extend electronic section is...kind of weird, for sure, but it manages to work somehow. I'm sure I managed to make someone annoyed by labeling it "electronic" instead of whichever subset of the overarching techno/electronic/etc umbrella it officially is (I swear those distinctions cause even more grief than the metal sub-genre debates) but bear with me, I fully admit it's not something I know anything about. So. Windir. Journey to the End.
8/10
From: nintendogirl1 | #022 #4....
I was wondering when I'd get to rage at something you posted!
Early Therion is actually very underrated death metal, probably due to the association with the bands later output. But since this *is* some that later output...it's tolerably bland up until the absolute most torturously shrill and weak vocals show up. That doesn't last TOO long thankfully, but the damage is done really, and it's not like there's anything special going on after. Also something here reminded me of Ayreon for some reason. I have no idea why. God damn it those vocals are painful! Stop showing up when I'm trying to not be annoyed! I've had it, one more dose of those would give me a heart attack so I'm cutting it off here for the sake of my health.
2.5/10
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We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny
From: Psycho_Kenshin | #024 I do love Zuul, Enforcer, and White Wizzard. I dig Holy Grail even more so (most of the line-up who were White Wizzard on their High Speed GTO EP), you dig them as well?
I'm not a big fan of them, although that's mainly because I saw them live (opening for...possibly Blind Guardian that I alluded to earlier? Not 100% sure) and they had absolutely zero stage presence.
Panthera posted... I'm not a big fan of them, although that's mainly because I saw them live (opening for...possibly Blind Guardian that I alluded to earlier? Not 100% sure) and they had absolutely zero stage presence.
Ha, I tell ya, I think I post in these metal topics just to prove we're like metal opposites for the most part. I saw them live with Eluveitie, they were fantastic. The singer had spiky gauntlets too, I mean that's a man who knows his stuff.
I know fuzzyness and lack of piano adds 3 points, so I'm gonna try my luck here,
The 69 Eyes - You Ain't The Reason
-- One Piece: Pirates with style! -= Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage Action =-
From: nintendogirl1 | #027 Yeah, Therion isn't really my sort of music either. Let's go with this, that I do like, from a band I don't:
When someone starts throwing Epica at me after what I've already said...well, I'm not a paranoid man but I find it extremely likely that you are trying to ruin my day and probably have planted a scorpion in my bed.
Easiest way to explain my thoughts here is that the music is cheesy pseudo-epic crap and the singer is alright, though prone to being melodramatic. As a general rule this style of vocals just doesn't work for me; I'm pretty sure every single female vocalist in metal whose work I really enjoy is one who does not try for this soaring, "operatic" approach (see the aforementioned Christian Mistress). Also this has nothing to do with the music but if I'm alluding to how other people think of Pantera I might as well talk about other fanbase views and say that I'm not sure why people seem to think she's so amazingly attractive.
3/10
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
From: nintendogirl1 | #029 From: Panthera | #028 That was supposed to say 5.5-7, as in between 5.5/10 and 7/10, not 78.6%. At least my mistakes are mildly amusing.
That was what I assumed.
I just realized I wasn't paying attention to the topical dynamic sig thing until now.
From: Psycho_Kenshin | #030 Ha, I tell ya, I think I post in these metal topics just to prove we're like metal opposites for the most part. I saw them live with Eluveitie, they were fantastic. The singer had spiky gauntlets too, I mean that's a man who knows his stuff.
Yeah, most people will be metal opposites from me unless I'm posting in a fairly dedicated underground community. Most of the stuff I like is unfortunately just not that popular, so I'm aware I won't get much agreement when I rant about how much I despise most power metal and then say how much I like Beherit.
I know fuzzyness and lack of piano adds 3 points, so I'm gonna try my luck here,
The 69 Eyes - You Ain't The Reason
Hey, I liked that one piano intro on that one song <_<
According to wikipedia this is a lot older than I would have expected it to be. Yeah, that's insightful. So this is fairly fun, it's not really my style in general but it definitely does have that genuine feel to it that I like from rock and traditional metal, and "fuzzyness" does enhance it in this case.
6.5/10
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
Oh Devin Townsend, another of those people/bands that so often get talked up as something every metalhead worships and that fills me with a craving for swallowing fifty advil chased by a bottle of cough syrup. This is just really uneven; I've said this about at least one or two other songs, but it keeps being applicable that some bands try too hard to combine being harsh with being cheerful and not being *too* harsh in a way that doesn't mesh together at all. You can do the whole "harsh and beautiful" thing (Deathevokation - The Chalice of Ages is an awesome death metal album and it has quite a few sections that show how its done) but it's hard to pull off and you need to make sure you're not just writing bad riffs and adding some non-traditional instruments or clean vocals and calling it a day.
Also 3:40.
WTF
There's such a thing as a transition, and then there's just randomly throwing in something that doesn't fit at all out of the blue with no build up, apparently solely to show off how "wacky" or "innovative" you are to have mastered the rare and enviable art of writing ****ty music.
3.40/10
(actually 2.5/10)
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We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny
From: nintendogirl1 | #036 I enjoy these writeups.
Well that was odd, the video decided to just not play any sound for a while. Got it working properly eventually though.
Kind of wish I hadn't!
Okay it's not THAT bad but I don't like Pain of Salvation much. I don't like most prog metal (which is kind of interesting given that I do like a decent amount of prog rock). In this case, and this may be a controversial statement but that's kind of the point, a good chunk of it boils down to the simple fact that I don't like Daniel Gildenlow's voice. He tends to sound very whiny to me, in a way that really makes it impossible for me to feel like any emotion he's displaying is genuine. This song is actually enjoyable from a musical standpoint, but that voice just saps most of its appeal.
4.5/10
From: Raka_Putra | #037
What is this? I do not even?
I'm really unable to come up with words for this beyond "annoying". Maybe "inconsistent"? More of that awkward transition and inconsistent tone thing I keep talking about. I can't say that I like this at all.
2/10
From: Psycho_Kenshin | #038 Manowar - Shell Shock
Huh, I totally forgot that this song even existed. Battle Hymns is my favourite Manowar album too so it's not like I tried to erase it from my memory or anything. Maybe it just blended in with the rest because it's standard Manowar, and Manowar tends to fall into two categories: standard Manowar which is mindless fun that gets less good as their career goes on, and stuff that tries to experiment in even the slightest way which is almost always a **** sandwich. Hey look, now you not only know my opinion of this song but of nearly any other Manowar song anyone might post in the future! This is called efficiency kids, getting lots of work done with little effort.
7/10
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
From: Psycho_Kenshin | #040 Overkill - Wish You Were Dead
Overkill is a band I have listened to surprisingly rarely. Not sure why.
Anyway, this isn't too bad. Didn't care for it right off the bat but it grew on me. Do know that I don't care for the vocals a whole lot, it's really hard to do this kind of shrill shrieky thing well, usually would be better off just moving into full out harsh vocals. Rob Halford did it on Painkiller yeah but "Rob Halford did it" doesn't necessarily mean you can do it too! Despite saying almost nothing but negatives about this song it's still enjoyable.
5.5/10
From: nintendogirl1 | #041
I should have named this topic "nintendogirl posts power metal and Panthera complains about it"!
The main problem with this is that I feel like I've heard this same galloping riff set up fifty million times before. It's so dull, there's just nothing here that would make this song stand out to me in any way. It's hard to even comment on it really, it's just...bland, dull, uneventful, tedious? I guess I'll give it points for being European power metal not named Blind Guardian or Kamelot that features a vocalist that I don't hate (instead I merely think he's occasionally annoying but usually fine).
3.5/10
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
I await the horrifying day someone links Nightwish and the murder rate in Canada skyrockets by 400% the next day, all because of me.
That blue text for the lyrics at the beginning is really ugly and hard to see. This was going okay until the mandatory "heavy" part kicked in. I'm going to rant about it some more, the biggest problem with female vocalists in metal is how many of them sing in ways that don't fit the music. This kind of singing just doesn't work that well with aggressive guitar work (not that this is very aggressive but you get what I mean). Either sing differently, do harsh vocals, or find a different genre altogether, because this combination feels weird and unnatural.
And I know someone will probably accuse me of it if I don't point this out, but this is not a "women don't belong in metal" thing at all. There are quite a few female vocalists in the history of metal who have been quite good fits. Christine Davis of Christian Mistress is an example I've already alluded to. Bands like Znowhite and Sentinel Beast and Original Sin exist(ed). You can listen to Adorior if you doubt that women can provide a perfect fit for a filthy black/death metal band. What's the unifying trait here? These are all examples of bands whose vocalists sang/screamed in a way that belongs with the music, the same way that a lot of the best male vocalists in metal aren't the most technically gifted singers but instead the ones whose voices carry the appropriate emotion and energy to enhance the music they're accompanying.
I may have gotten a little carried away there <_<
3.5/10
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We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny
The topic title will eventually expand to "nintendogirl posts power metal and Panthera rants about only tangentially related subjects" I guess.
This was actually going pretty good for a while, liked the main melody to it. 2 minutes in it kind of derails itself a bit and starts feeling kind of dumb, and it doesn't really recover all that well from there on. Still, I'd say it was more enjoyable than not.
4/10
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
It's hard to get any progress made on listening to the music I was trying to get through prior to making this topic when I keep having to pause to listen to songs here <_<
Incidentally, this song is awful. Music is just unpleasant and the vocals are like someone trying their hardest to embody the concept of obnoxiousness. Things like this are the strongest arguments a tyrant could ever make against freedom of expression.
1.5/10
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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.
You know what bugs me? People who walk side by side on narrow sidewalks or halls. You need to walk by them, they're walking towards you so they can see you, and yet they still stay side by side. The thought of slowing down or speeding up their pace slightly is apparently too difficult and they expect you to either step onto the busy road or squish yourself against a wall so they can get by. This is even more annoying when you bring people with strollers into it; the amount of people who see their baby as a tool to shove at people in the hopes of getting them out of the way is amazing. There really needs to be a brand new class taught to kids in elementary school, focused entirely on walking etiquette. It's too late to make an impact in my life until later on, but at least if we make this change now our children will both be free from this rudeness and able to avoid doing it themselves.
It's not even that complicated, people! And of course, they always glare at you when you bump into them kind of hard, even though it's not your fault that shoulder checking them was literally the only way to get past them without killing yourself on the hood of a speeding truck. This is a systematic problem, clearly - it's too pervasive to merely be random chance. I encounter it multiple times every single day. I'm not sure if it's some bizarre side effect of the self-esteem movement teaching people to be so self-obsessed that they don't even bother to pay attention to how their actions affect others around them, or if I really am just some hyper-aware super genius who realizes complex ideas no one else can like "if I take one slight step to the left, I avoid pointlessly inconveniencing a random person", but whatever it is, we need to take steps to put a stop to it.
1/10
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We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny