Board 8 > Happy Pride Month

(+) Yeah! (+)

To all my LGBTQIA+ pals on this dying, but clearly not dead yet contest discussion board. May you all thrive!

aye!

yay!

first pride month where i'm mostly out (greetings all trans girls), what do we do differently this month

catesdb posted...

what do we do differently this month

The question isn't what should you do different, it's what should all the not-queers do for you

Yo, happy pride!

I lately come into a realization that I might be bi or pan (previously I considered myself gay) so hey, let's see where it takes me.

I'm still public-closeted bi (living in Ohio you have to be discreet about it, plus my only remaining family is very unwelcoming to LGBTQ) so it is really fucking awesome being at GDQ just when pride month hits. I need to go pick up something pink to go with my outfit today.

edit i guess they're only windows emojis boo

I've known that I'm bi for almost two decades but pride definitely hits different now that I'm openly (not to mention visibly) trans. Very fortunate that all my friends and family have been supportive so far.

Raka_Putra posted...

I lately come into a realization that I might be bi or pan (previously I considered myself gay) so hey, let's see where it takes me.

People don't talk about this kind of thing much but it can be really stressful and anxiety-inducing, sometimes even more so than the first time questioning your sexuality. I think "let's see where it takes me" is a great attitude to have!

Thanks! Just like with when I came out as gay more than a decade ago, B8 is also the first place I come out to. I haven't shared this with even my close friends. Thanks for being an inclusive and safe space, B8. <3

... also sufficiently removed from my "real" life! But the separation helps in times like this.

Raka_Putra posted...

But the separation helps in times like this.

the main reason I never use facebook

Happy pride :)

I've been in this weird state for a while (years) now where I have felt rather ambivalent and indifferent to the exact way that I present myself and the way that I identify. Like the indifference is severely entrenched and I'm never sure if I'm asexual and nonbinary/agender or if that's partly a consequence of anxiety and inhibition to self-expression.

All the same I'm definitely part of the community, just never sure exactly where I land within.

Happy Pride Month!

June is my favorite month of the year! (Not because of pride, though that's awesome too. Cancer bias woot woot!)

Cheers, happy Pride month everybody!

Raka_Putra posted...

Yo, happy pride!

I lately come into a realization that I might be bi or pan (previously I considered myself gay) so hey, let's see where it takes me.

Is it weird that I've never really questioned my sexuality before this point in my life? I have always just assumed I'm hetero, but that's only because I've only had an attraction to two dudes before. The initial attraction to both of the aforementioned dudes was due almost entirely to the fact that a) I was friends with both of them beforehand for some time before b) I realized they both had a romantic attraction to me first, and even then I was oblivious to the reality that anything beyond platonic friendliness was what either of them were going for until they made it pretty blatant.

There have been other people of both genders that had an attraction to me, but I didn't feel the same way about them because I didn't get to know them very well before they revealed their feelings to me. Looking back on it I wonder if that made me uncomfortable. I always just assumed it was because I was shy and sexually inexperienced, but what if I'm actually demisexual or elsewhere on the asexuality spectrum? I'm married to someone I love dearly now and who loves me back perhaps even moreso so I can't exactly go experimenting at this point in time, but I guess I'm in the same mindset as you.

I've been having similar developing questions on asexuality spectrum myself actually, although it's more of a question of low libido vs asexuality. But it's a staggering change over the last few years where I used to be an absolute horn dog but now I have to force myself to ever think about it.

On the romance side I used to be a hopeless romantic type but now it's been about 6 years since I've had any romantic feelings and I truthfully do not mind it at all, I have no sense of loneliness and I feel perfectly comfortable continuing as I am for the foreseeable future of my life. When I see my siblings who can never last long without a partner and how being alone drives them into such deep depressions I'm baffled on the outside.

Regarding sexuality well I've always been pretty much solely focused on women, but one thing I've experienced with coming out as trans is having to confront my own shameful feelings of transphobia, and as an extension, how society has trained me to feel about male attraction as someone who grew up for many years from my birth sex. That isn't to say anything has really changed in that regard yet, I don't consider myself bi by any means, but it's not an unfathomable thought to me like it used to be. It's hard to describe but I know my type for what I consider a hot guy to be, and I've absolutely experienced bi panic from a stunning power couple, but from practical relationship experience I've yet to feel anything from men that I get from women.

GuessMyUserName posted...

I've been having similar developing questions on asexuality spectrum myself actually, although it's more of a question of low libido vs asexuality. But it's a staggering change over the last few years where I used to be an absolute horn dog but now I have to force myself to ever think about it.

I remember those days! Do you still have a room full of sexy anime and video game figurines or are they a bit more tame now? The one that sticks out the most in my mind is a certain princess straddling a toadstool in a very suggestive manner... On the subject of lowering libido I wonder if it's just us growing older and (slightly) more mature or if it's our bodies' way of coping with some level of asexuality

GuessMyUserName posted...

On the romance side I used to be a hopeless romantic type but now it's been about 6 years since I've had any romantic feelings and I truthfully do not mind it at all, I have no sense of loneliness and I feel perfectly comfortable continuing as I am for the foreseeable future of my life. When I see my siblings who can never last long without a partner and how being alone drives them into such deep depressions I'm baffled on the outside.

I definitely don't consider myself aromantic, but there are very few people I vibe with on a sexual level so I really don't know how to describe myself in that regard. Oh for the simple days of yore when I could just get away with "shy". And yes other people baffle me with that mentality; I, for one, rather enjoyed being alone, or maybe that was my psyches way of coping with the crippling self-esteem issues that I wouldn't want to have burdened a partner with the effort of resolving. Relationships can be complicated, and being single never once made me feel "incomplete" or whatever.

GuessMyUserName posted...

Regarding sexuality well I've always been pretty much solely focused on women, but one thing I've experienced with coming out as trans is having to confront my own shameful feelings of transphobia, and as an extension, how society has trained me to feel about male attraction as someone who grew up for many years from my birth sex. That isn't to say anything has really changed in that regard yet, I don't consider myself bi by any means, but it's not an unfathomable thought to me like it used to be.

That is a very interesting take that I had never truthfully considered being cis and all. Thank you for sharing. I wonder if, had you known and expressed your true gender identity much sooner in life if you would have been more open to experimentation in the dating field.

GuessMyUserName posted...

It's hard to describe but I know my type for what I consider a hot guy to be, and I've absolutely experienced bi panic from a stunning power couple, but from practical relationship experience I've yet to feel anything from men that I get from women.

Ha ha I completely agree, but from the exact opposite gender perspective. Though I can't honestly say that I've ever been sexually attracted to a woman I do find many women... sexually attractive. It doesn't make much sense, but that's where I'm at. Also looking back I've always- literally for as long as the idea of attraction had existed in my prepubescent brain- had a thing for androgynous people, regardless of gender. Long hair on a skinny effeminate dude, or well-toned abs on a sporty tomboy, just chef's . I dunno what it is about someone who's gender binary cannot be immediately determined just by looking at them, but something about that just captivates me completely.

I was very close to calling myself ace but in my case I think I was just repressed as all heck lol. Might still be demi or grey or something, idk, but I uh. Do experience attraction.

Happy Pride Month y'all!

GenesisSaga posted...

I remember those days! Do you still have a room full of sexy anime and video game figurines or are they a bit more tame now? The one that sticks out the most in my mind is a certain princess straddling a toadstool in a very suggestive manner... On the subject of lowering libido I wonder if it's just us growing older and (slightly) more mature or if it's our bodies' way of coping with some level of asexuality

Still have 'em around! Haven't bought any in a while but that's also because shit's expensive and I haven't even been up-to-date on anime in years. I did get a new lewd fig of a trans OC tho, but more out of pride lmao I had to get my rep. Princess Peach is also just hilarious I love it.

Although with my living situation since uni ended I can't really keep anything out anymore. Don't at all mind them like hey I still find sexy ladies hot but the difference now is that they just don't consume any segment my daily mind.

I still enjoy supporting sexual content, like at the anime convention last month I went to some adult panels which were fun but it's not about being horny but I can appreciate the entertainment - like the cosplay burlesque show was a riot! The guy doing Black Panther & Green Lantern was such a pro, Junko Enoshima singing Mastermind was genius, Sailor Moon was hotly entertaining and the closing act was Link crossplay fighting off a Guardian while spinning tassels on her T&A which had me dying.

Although another reason for me personally is also just from HRT medication, MTF it's known to lower your libido to start with but then come back in just a different manner - and yeah I noticed mine drop since but just not really get the come-back part. These days I'm kinda up late working on hobby stuff, coding, streaming, etc, and by the time I'm done I just wanna sleep.

GenesisSaga posted...

I, for one, rather enjoyed being alone, or maybe that was my psyches way of coping with the crippling self-esteem issues that I wouldn't want to have burdened a partner with the effort of resolving. Relationships can be complicated, and being single never once made me feel "incomplete" or whatever.

For sure, like I'm absolutely not opposed to relationships but I'm just kinda fine without anyways. Of course it's great to have a partner you can share your days and make new experiences with, but it's also a commitment to be a good partner and it's important to have the self-confidence to protect your own needs finding someone who will be good to you. Right now I still need a lot of time for myself and it's just not something I'm seeking to add to my life.

I still very much appreciate the relationships I had so far in my life, but at the same time when I broke up with my university girlfriend I kinda just enjoyed having time for things I enjoyed myself. My other long-time... whatever it was also meant a lot to me for years but it was important for me to learn to let go when it clearly wasn't working anymore, for both of us. I don't regret these experiences at all, but being alone has also allowed me to address my own needs (like y'know being trans lmao)

GenesisSaga posted...

That is a very interesting take that I had never truthfully considered being cis and all. Thank you for sharing. I wonder if, had you known and expressed your true gender identity much sooner in life if you would have been more open to experimentation in the dating field.

Yeahhh, like I've truthfully been exploring my gender identity since single-digit ages, but I would never at all consider that being trans was a possibility. I hardly understood it as a valid thing, the representation I'd see in all sorts of media since that age was what you see in the likes of Ace Ventura, South Park, Springer, Maury, Silence of the Lambs, hell even the progressive movie was uh Rocky Horror which yeah is a huge phenomenon of sexual freedom but when you actually examine its characters like Dr. Frank n Furter it'ssss certainly dated to put it gently. When I saw these representations I don't at all think this is me. These are gross portrayals of deceptive tricksters, pathetic delusional gay men to be laughed at or horrifying murderous monsters to fear, not sympathetic human beings that could be identified with.

As a child I would secretly go out in the backyard alone with a skirt on, even covering that skirt up with a towel in the absolute dreaded fear that anyone would catch me because even at a young age I knew what society would think - it's how I was taught to believe myself. Not sure if you remember suuuper early joke I'd make about being excited about I think Animal Crossing New Leaf allowing male characters to wear skirts, but that was in earnest!... and then thinking again the "teasing" of calling me girl names (there was Heather & Lisa) that I totally played with.

For sexuality it's hard to imagine, I've had crushes on girls since kindergarten meanwhile my male bffs were nothing like that. Then again speaking now after living with my sister's family with my 2-y/o niece I can clearly see we train kids from birth to understand that boys and girls grow up to be mommies and daddies. Every cartoon my niece watches is the typical nuclear family often even naming their family members by their role. Peppa Pig has Mommy Pig & Daddy Pig - Baby Shark has Mommy Shark & Daddy Shark, Grandma Shark & Grandpa Shark, it's so drilled in that my niece is constantly calling any pair of toys mommy & daddy. Two ponies together? It's Mommy Pony & Daddy Pony! She doesn't even have a strong grasp of English yet but mommy & daddy is literally what she started with. This isn't even getting into the clichd gag baby clothes, "sorry boys, but daddy said I can't date until I'm 30!" - a shirt my niece actually owns.

But yeah like you in this regard, I only know myself ever being attracted to women like I was raised to. I'd love to read/hear on gay/lesbian awakenings because sure I am lesbian now myself but my experiences with attraction never required any reflection

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GenesisSaga posted...

Also looking back I've always- literally for as long as the idea of attraction had existed in my prepubescent brain- had a thing for androgynous people, regardless of gender. Long hair on a skinny effeminate dude, or well-toned abs on a sporty tomboy, just chef's . I dunno what it is about someone who's gender binary cannot be immediately determined just by looking at them, but something about that just captivates me completely.

I love my ladies dominant and the guys gentle (or super chill nonchalant). Though the person I modeled style on growing up was Kurt Cobain who I totally perceive to be hot af. Yeah long dirty-blonde hair is traditionally perceived to be feminine but he was definitely still scruffy and masculine. Tho there's also a lot with him playing in dresses, and his personal writings are kinda oh wow relatable looking back (in any case god I love that my childhood idol was so very socially progressive with vocal support and strong stances actively pushing against bigoted or misogynistic fans).

also my bi panic power couple is matthew gray gubler with aubrey plaza for their performances together in Criminal Minds, fffaaaaaaaaa so good I go back to youtube music videos of them

I say gentle guys but also it underlines the moments when they step up... like oh god when MGG goes aggressive with Aubrey Plaza oh wow