Poll of the Day > My ex girlfriend is apparently pregnant and she's having an abortion on Monday.

(+) Yeah! (+)

So she called me while I was working and she was just crying.
I couldn't comprehend a single thing she said until I was finally able to understand her that she said she was pregnant.

I was surprised to say the least considering she literally can't have children due to her MS diagnosis because her heavy meds causes fetal damage and the fact that she can become a vegetable from it.

So she has no choice but to... Y'know.

Anyway she called me and said that she needed a ride to the emergency room because her nausea was just too much.
I complied because despite her cheating on me, she's still my friend.

When I picked her up I asked her why her fianc couldn't do it.
The oaf couldn't be arsed to leave work early for his sick soon-to-be wife.

First he makes her pregnant even though it's literally dangerous for both her and the child and then he can't even help her to the emergency room.

I mean, the things I've also heard about this guy from my old coworker.
He has kids he can't see with a woman he has separated from, unpaid bills, broke as hell etc.
His only choice was to marry someone(my ex) to save his ass.

What an irresponsible prick.

I mean, I'm pretty much a failure in most aspects of life but at least I'm not an irresponsible shit who fucks around without preventives and have kids that I couldn't possibly support and have bills up my ass that I can't pay.

Tldr; my ex gf is pregnant with an irresponsible loser.

She cheated on you and is a bad person.
Karma exists.
I wouldn't wish suffering on her, but she made her own bed.
Still good on you for helping her.
Sad that you had to go through that though, I hope you find someone who respects you and deserves you in the future.

wolfy42 posted...

She cheated on you and is a bad person.
Karma exists.
I wouldn't wish suffering on her, but she made her own bed.
Still good on you for helping her.
Sad that you had to go through that though, I hope you find someone who respects you and deserves you in the future.

no it doesnt

but I agree with the rest of your post

FatalAccident posted...

no it doesnt

but I agree with the rest of your post

It kinda does, not in the sense that there is some cosmic force that gives out punishments and rewards, but generally if you go around being a dick you won't build any good will with people and will make more enemies than necessary. As they say, those who live by the sword die by the sword.

Yeah thats more believable

Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean some kosmic karma.

Just if you treat others badly you will end up being treated badly yourself. In your ex's case she is very lucky you didn't just give up on her and let her deal with her own crappy life.

I meant karma as in, she acted badly to you, and now she has a boyfriend that treats her like crap.

Karma:)

Yeah I always try to be kind towards others because that's how I'd like to be treated by them.

Maybe that's why she were so miserable and jealous that she didn't have the same kind of friends I had. I have extremely few friends but the friends I have are extremely close friends that I've known for over two decades.

After the call I immediately told my closest coworker that my ex was pregnant and she wanted a ride to the emergency room.

She became agitated how someone can be such a shitty person to someone and then have the nerve to ask for a ride because she got pregnant with the guy she cheated on them with.

She was so pissed off that she had to drag in our other female colleague(whom she's very close friends with and has my permission to talk about the problems I have with my ex).

Jeez. This whole situation is... Well, kinda hilarious actually.

She cheats on me with this really shitty guy and she just gets more problems than she had before.
And even though I feel kinda lonely without her, at least I don't have to bother with her antics and her idiotic parents anymore and the fact that I'm not the one who's currently together with a parasite.

Too bad an abortion has to be made because one dumb fuck couldn't keep it in his pants without any protection though.

It was nice of you to help her.

I cant believe the husband though lmfao he couldnt be bothered to finish work early lol

LeetCheet posted...

Yeah I always try to be kind towards others because that's how I'd like to be treated by them.

Maybe that's why she were so miserable and jealous that she didn't have the same kind of friends I had. I have extremely few friends but the friends I have are extremely close friends that I've known for over two decades.

After the call I immediately told my closest coworker that my ex was pregnant and she wanted a ride to the emergency room.

She became agitated how someone can be such a shitty person to someone and then have the nerve to ask for a ride because she got pregnant with the guy she cheated on them with.

She was so pissed off that she had to drag in our other female colleague(whom she's very close friends with and has my permission to talk about the problems I have with my ex).

Jeez. This whole situation is... Well, kinda hilarious actually.

She cheats on me with this really shitty guy and she just gets more problems than she had before.
And even though I feel kinda lonely without her, at least I don't have to bother with her antics and her idiotic parents anymore and the fact that I'm not the one who's currently together with a parasite.

Too bad an abortion has to be made because one dumb fuck couldn't keep it in his pants without any protection though.

What? There's literally no difference in this case because she wouldn't be able to have kids anyway.

FatalAccident posted...

I cant believe the husband though lmfao he couldnt be bothered to finish work early lol

Yeah I'm telling my coworkers about that on Monday lol

Revelation34 posted...

What? There's literally no difference in this case because she wouldn't be able to have kids anyway.

Just because he didn't use a condom, she has deal with this.
Waste time and money to have an abortion and feel really sick on top of that.

And she has always dreamed of having kids, even coming up with names for them.
This feels like an female equivalent of a man getting kicked in the balls.

No wonder she cried so much you could barely understand her over the phone.

LeetCheet posted...

Just because he didn't use a condom, she has deal with this.

Oh, so she had no choice in the matter... that's amazingly not sexist at all.

Archaea_Ottoia posted...

Oh, so she had no choice in the matter... that's amazingly not sexist at all.

Is that sarcasm?

I suppose if she really wanted to be careful not to get pregnant, she could've used birth control pills in combination with a condom.

She also has HPV or used to back when when we were together so I would've used a condom regardless as I'm pretty sure viruses can stay in your body for many years.
So he might've been exposed to that as well for not being careful.

You did the right thing by helping her but leave it at that. Id heavily suggest not taking her back if she tries to get back with you.

Mensis posted...

You did the right thing by helping her but leave it at that. Id heavily suggest not taking her back if she tries to get back with you.

She did actually ask yesterday that if she were single if I wanted to get back together with her.

Honestly, despite the cheating, there is still a part of me who wants to go back(because loneliness sucks).

If I did, things wouldn't be the same as it was before anyway and there would only be more pain.
I mean she cheated on me once, what's gonna stop her from doing it again?

I told her that we should only stay as friends and she seemed to agree.
I dunno what she really thinks though.

I'm also realizing now that I've talked so much about cheating and I have the misspelled word cheat in my username lol

LeetCheet posted...

First he makes her pregnant even though it's literally dangerous for both her and the child

You make it sound deliberate.

wolfy42 posted...

She cheated on you and is a bad person.
Karma exists.
I wouldn't wish suffering on her, but she made her own bed.
Still good on you for helping her.
Sad that you had to go through that though, I hope you find someone who respects you and deserves you in the future.

Not so much karma, but people who make bad life decisions tend to eventually face consequences associated with their tendency to make bad decisions.

LeetCheet posted...

She did actually ask yesterday that if she were single if I wanted to get back together with her.

Honestly, despite the cheating, there is still a part of me who wants to go back(because loneliness sucks).

Chicksand, dude. Don't fall into it.

When I was together with her, she didn't seem to be that eager to do it, even going as far as saying she doesn't like sex in general : /

I remember asking her one time if she has ever done any self-pleasure on herself and she said no because she thinks that's a waste of time.

She has no idea what she's missing! Like literally one of the only few pleasurable things in life(especially for her limited, childless life).
I was even thinking of buying her a dildo or vibrator or something so she could try it out.
She as a woman has the ability to feel immense pleasure and she just squander it.

And seeing as he already has kids with another woman who he apparently aren't even on speaking terms with anymore, I'm gonna say that he's probably some horny guy(with money problems) who doesn't seem to think much about the future.

Welp, the good news is none of what's happening is related to you
It was nice of you to offer her a ride thou, but I'd steer clear of her and her man in future

LeetCheet posted...

he makes her pregnant

Takes two to tango, bruh

If she knows it's dangerous for her to get pregnant, she should be using contraception. Ain't that dude's fault. There's multiple forms of effective birth control she should be using if pregnancy is so dangerous for her or the fetus

In any healthy relationship these things should be discussed and some agreed-upon plan should be formed, but ultimately it's her responsibility to keep from getting pregnant if she desires to remain child-free.

Freaky things can happen even with contraception, but you can't say shit like "he made her pregnant" unless he forced her to become pregnant against her will

She should have an IUD or get sterilized if she risks death from pregnancy. It's honestly her own responsibility. She's not very sexually responsible. You're lucky she didn't want to have sex with you to be honest.

Far-Queue posted...

Takes two to tango, bruh

This is what I was thinking (word for word) when I first read that Haha.

Far-Queue posted...

In any healthy relationship these things should be discussed and some agreed-upon plan should be formed, but ultimately it's her responsibility to keep from getting pregnant if she desires to remain child-free.

Which can include refusing to have sex with him unless he uses a condom (though condoms are far too unreliable to use as a long-term birth control option; you can expect an accidental pregnancy every ~7 years if that's the only option you use) and pressing rape charges if he forces her to do it anyway.

kwab

LeetCheet posted...

I complied because despite her cheating on me, she's still my friend.

While this is nice and all it's odd she would call a ex to help her out in this situation while also talking shit about her fianc. You have only heard hearsay about her fianc from other people and you'll only ever really know one side to a story when it comes to someones relationship in most cases. More to the point you're her ex so no doubt will feel resentment towards whoever she's with, even more so when she actually cheated on you and I assume that's why you split from her. Point is I wouldn't let someone like that take advantage of me and honestly her problems wouldn't be mine.

It's good of you to help

LeetCheet posted...

She has no idea what she's missing!

Women are both lucky af and also cursed, and it can vary a ton from person to person. Some have a very hard time getting any pleasure at all let alone climaxing, while others like you mentioned can repeatedly climax and have great pleasure. I'm pretty sure it's the same for guys though I have no experience in that area.

She might just have a low sex drive and not get alot of pleasure from the act, or take a long time to get any and most men don't spend the time/attention to ensure she does. Even toys won't neccesarily help. I knew one woman who literally took an hour to "get off" even with toys etc and she just didn't have much motivation for sex (She also eventually only even tried with other women because guys just couldn't do it for her, or didn't have the patience etc).

She may just not be a very sexual person.

As far as having kids, she could still have one but not give birth to the child or possibly hire a surragate to have the baby for her, but that would require money and effort, and probably a stable relationship where her partner trusts her (kinda hard if she is cheating).

Finally, if she really doesn't enjoy sex much, why the heck did she cheat? I hate cheaters as I think it's a total violation of trust and the opposite of caring for your partner (even putting them at risk for STDs etc), but I understand why most people cheat at least, a strong sex drive, the urge for something new, the risk etc could be a turn on for someone, and if a relationship is getting old/stale i can see people being tempted.

But if you don't even have a high or normal sex drive, why would you cheat on someone you supposedly care about? It just doesn't make sense.

My sibling who does not have an account on here expresses condolences and reiterates that it was sweet of you to support her.

Far-Queue posted...

She isn't the sharpest tool in the shed as she has done a lot of questionable things in the past and her communication skills are pretty bad.

I mean, I have Aspergers and my social skills are obviously not very good either but I will at least try to convey my thoughts if someone gives me the chance.

She on the other hand is straight up unable to do it.
Try texting her and most responses you'll get from her is almost exclusively short words like "Ok".
It's incredibly frustrating to try to have a conversation with her about important things like relationships and mental health issues.

Both of them should have responsibilities by doing their part of preventing unwanted pregnancies.
He should've at least pulled out though.

Jen0125 posted...

She's a very special lady. Kind of like a middle-aged catlady that has a dozen cats at home minus all the cats.
Y'know those childless women who are nearing their 40s and the realization that certain things might be to late for them to do.

adjl posted...

Maybe deep inside there was an urge for her to become pregnant despite her knowing she can't and she just... Let it happen?
She frequently talked to me about her dreams of becoming a mother when we were together.
Even going as far as coming up with names for them and other plans for the future.
Knowing her dreams being utterly crushed is breaking my heart.

wolfy42 posted...

Yeah I know that it can vary between women but what irks me is that she never even bothered. I remember she said one time even if she was a guy, she still wouldn't pleasure herself.

I wonder that as well. Why did she cheat on me if she supposedly doesn't even care about sex?
A short answer to that might be she does in fact care but there is something else that's pressing her.

She even told me like a month or two before we split up that her life would be effectively over if I died or dissappeared from her life.

? ?

So she's done with the procedure now.
She was apparently almost 8 weeks into the pregnancy.
8 weeks! Does it really take that long to notice that you're pregnant?

Looking up on the Internet on how far things have gone up to that point makes me feel sadness.

I know it wasn't mine but, I still care deeply for her and I feel so sorry that she had to go through with all of this.

LeetCheet posted...

So she's done with the procedure now.
She was apparently almost 8 weeks into the pregnancy.
8 weeks! Does it really take that long to notice that you're pregnant?

Looking up on the Internet on how far things have gone up to that point makes me feel sadness.

I know it wasn't mine but, I still care deeply for her and I feel so sorry that she had to go through with all of this.

Yes.

Leet, you're a sweet guy through your naivety. Hopefully you find someone who will treat you better.

LeetCheet posted...

So she's done with the procedure now.
She was apparently almost 8 weeks into the pregnancy.
8 weeks! Does it really take that long to notice that you're pregnant?

It can take a while is many cases. I mean, some women can go the whole pregnancy without knowing And I think it said that 1 in every 400 or 500 women can make it to 20 weeks before they know. But Inthink the average is 5.5 weeks

Ex. Who cares

Jen0125 posted...

Leet, you're a sweet guy through your naivety. Hopefully you find someone who will treat you better.

Both my coworkers and my parents have told me I'm kind to a fault.
Even towards people who haven't treated me well such as my ex.

LinkPizza posted...

It can take a while is many cases. I mean, some women can go the whole pregnancy without knowing And I think it said that 1 in every 400 or 500 women can make it to 20 weeks before they know. But Inthink the average is 5.5 weeks

20 weeks sounds nuts. I guess some people think they might just have a stomach bug or something.
"Oh I'm pregnant? That explains so much lol"

teddy241 posted...

Ex. Who cares

She cared enough to tell me that the guy she cheated on me with made her pregnant.

You're kind of right though. I shouldn't care so much about this because she treated me like trash by not being faithful.

LeetCheet posted...

20 weeks sounds nuts. I guess some people think they might just have a stomach bug or something.
"Oh I'm pregnant? That explains so much lol"

Some don't show that much and periods stopping could be a number of things. It's crazy to think someone can go through a pregnancy and not know but as said already it happens.

Im listening to the Verve Pipe.

LeetCheet posted...

So she's done with the procedure now.
She was apparently almost 8 weeks into the pregnancy.
8 weeks! Does it really take that long to notice that you're pregnant?

It can and often does, yes. I'm pretty sure the fetus wouldn't be too much larger than a gummy bear/kidney bean at that point?
Fetal development really isn't that noticeable early on unless you usually have a VERY regular menstrual cycle and you notice right away that your cycle is late. (In my case it would not. I have never had sex but I've had multiple periods of time where my cycle was 2-3 months late. Very odd. Furthermore, depending on your location, your tests and related procedures may be delayed, lengthening the process. Anti-abortion laws take advantage of these and ban abortion with a slim time margin, so that by the time the person realizes their pregnant, or by the time they get their procedure ready, it's too late and ceases to be legal.

Gaawa_chan posted...

It can and often does, yes. I'm pretty sure the fetus wouldn't be too much larger than a gummy bear/kidney bean at that point?
Fetal development really isn't that noticeable early on unless you usually have a VERY regular menstrual cycle and you notice right away that your cycle is late. (In my case it would not. I have never had sex but I've had multiple periods of time where my cycle was 2-3 months late. Very odd. Furthermore, depending on your location, your tests and related procedures may be delayed, lengthening the process. Anti-abortion laws take advantage of these and ban abortion with a slim time margin, so that by the time the person realizes their pregnant, or by the time they get their procedure ready, it's too late and ceases to be legal.

I live in Sweden so our laws are a bit different. Here you can have a legal abortion as late as 18 weeks and only later than that if you have a certain condition and permission from the government.
She had to abort because she have MS and it could endanger her life if she didn't and it can also damage the unborn baby.

That's very sad. Hopefully she can get tubal ligation to prevent future pregnancy accidents.

Gaawa_chan posted...

That's very sad. Hopefully she can get tubal ligation to prevent future pregnancy accidents.

It is. She only had one dream and that was to have kids.
She is a very sad woman and it breaks my heart being aware of this.

Knowing her, I doubt she'll ever do such a thing. The guy should do a vasectomy though because he already has three kids with another woman.

My ex also has an STD and he just fucked her without protection so he might have gotten infected as well now.

If he did, he deserves it. I have no sympathy for cheaters.

Well, are her ova damaged? Could she get a surrogate? Not interested in adoption?

Gaawa_chan posted...

Well, are her ova damaged? Could she get a surrogate? Not interested in adoption?

MS being an auto-immune disorder, and changes to the body makes it go crazy... it can have a lot of side effects. Not to mention the medications for MS are pretty nasty for the most part.

I've suggested adoption to her but her stance on that is that she doesn't want to take care of someone else's kids.
She specifically want kids that she has given birth to.

She's gonna stay miserable as long as she's this stubborn.

Huh, she's the reverse of me. I don't want to have biological children; my genes are pretty fucked up, and I think it would be cruel to pass them onto someone else. Beyond that I find pregnancy kind of horrifying in general and don't want to experience it. Adoption would be the only way I'd want to get a kid at all, and I would definitely consider that MY kid sort of in the same way that taking a cat into my house makes it MY cat.