Poll of the Day > I can't ever picture myself having sex

(+) Yeah! (+)

The very thought of me being in that position gives me anxiety yet I want to....

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Yea why not

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never say never

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It's funny, because I can't picture you having sex either

If thinking about it gives you anxiety then dont focus on it. If you want to meet people and find someone to get close to, then just start there. If you eventually get comfortable enough to be intimate with them then thats great, but its ok if that doesnt end up being the case.

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IronBornCorps posted...

It's funny, because I can't picture you having sex either

Nice

I don't want to make it a question of sex but I feel the same way (though I've had it before). But like Mead said I don't think you need to make that the focus. For me I'm just not naturally gifted at meeting people and making friends, and getting laid really comes down to are you a decently social person. If you are, that part will come eventually. And improving your general social skills will be a good thing regardless of sexual outcomes unless you make that your only goal. I spent most of my life having school paper over my inability to socialize and then to some extent it was work, and now that I'm looking at work possibly being permanently remote I'm not sure how the fuck I'm gonna meet people

If your focus is just sex then just get a prostitute. Otherwise just do what Mead said.
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Oh wait is this topic more like "I'd feel uncomfortable getting naked around another person"

I think that's fine and normal to feel awkward. Just keep in mind if that someone got to the point where they want to have sex with you they probably aren't going to really care unless you turn out to have really poor hygiene or something

Yeah I dont think too many people want umami cheese dick

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IronBornCorps posted...

It's funny, because I can't picture you having sex either

Thanks, bro.
Mead posted...

-snip

CoorsLight posted...

-snip-

This is some helpful advise.

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Why? Do you have trouble setting up a camera beforehand? Honestly, it helps to just use video now anyway.


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I'm insecure. That is why Zeus. I wish I am a sex god like you.

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Revelation34 posted...

If your focus is just sex then just get a prostitute. Otherwise just do what Mead said.

No. I'm just too much self aware. The physical act of having sex makes me worried.

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wwinterj25 posted...

I'm insecure.

Then start by banging ugly chicks and work your way up to hot ones.

wwinterj25 posted... No. I'm just too much self aware. The physical act of having sex makes me worried.

Then hire a sex therapist?

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Zeus posted...

Then start by banging ugly chicks and work your way up to hot ones.

The physical attractiveness of people isn't the issue.

Zeus posted...

Then hire a sex therapist?

I'd rather hire a prostitute.

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All I ever get is people flirting with me and teasing me but then they never deliver, it's kinda depressing to have that happen.

That's why you always record your first time, so you can watch it when you need proof

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Guys. Recording it isn't my issue. My confidence is.

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Record somebody else doing it and shop your head onto them

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What do you feel affects your confidence?

just like driving a car or riding a motorbike you gotta look where you want to go

if you're looking at the wall cause you're so worried you're gonna steer into it you're gonna crash no matter what

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IronBornCorps posted...

What do you feel affects your confidence?

Small rooster, being insecure about my performance.

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I mean, small rooster really isn't that big of deal to me.

Most people will understand your first time anxiety because most everyone has gone through it before.

Someone who isn't going to understand that isn't going to be someone you'd want to be with regardless anyway. At least in any meaningful way, so have at it.

Just hire a prostitute. I was probably a few months away from going that route before I met my SO.
It's really the best option if you're struggling to find a GF for an extended period.

No, that's kinda depressing man.

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Judgmenl posted...

No, that's kinda depressing man.

It is..... tell me about your experiences with sex....

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I can't picture you having sex either
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Krazy_Kirby posted...

I can't picture you having sex either

The jokes already been done and was already shit.

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wwinterj25 posted...

It is..... tell me about your experiences with sex....

Man, this shows how new and clueless you are.
There was an entire saga on here about me suiciding my account because Thunder was harassing me after a break up.

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Confidence is something you need to build. Some people are gifted with endless wells of it, but for the rest of us it's a process of development. In this particular case I think the only way you're going to actually build confidence is by actually doing it. Most people don't really care about your dick size and I think a lot of partners will be understanding of first time anxiety. They've either been there before or they're anxious about their first time too. Me saying this probably doesn't give you any lasting confidence though. The higher you place sex on a pedestal, the higher to climb to achieve your goal. Don't make things more difficult for yourself with mental hurdles. If you truly feel like you're incapable of achieving this on your own then seek out professional help.

Just video tape yourself having sex.

then you dont have to visualize.

just dont post the video on any websites or share it without permission

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Judgmenl posted...

-snip-

That didn't tell me anything about what I asked.

JigsawTDC posted...

Me saying this probably doesn't give you any lasting confidence though. The higher you place sex on a pedestal, the higher to climb to achieve your goal. Don't make things more difficult for yourself with mental hurdles. If you truly feel like you're incapable of achieving this on your own then seek out professional help.

Confidence is indeed something I lack and I'm working on. I don't think I need professional help for this but putting mental blocks in the way of achieving my goals is the bane of my existence due to anxiety. I do overthink things too much.

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I couldn't see it either from how you talked. But after seeing you in pics and also your sexual interests I can see it. You are not bad looking at all and also open to more than one gender, which gives you more options. Also I see you post stuff with you going out places, which is more than I ever did. And you seemingly enjoy a drink which is a big part of socializing.

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I do miss going out for a drink but I never have been one to go up and start chatting up people. That's a confidence thing. Still some folk have talked to me and I've met some interesting people when out drinking and that has helped with the confidence building. It's still work in progress. I do enjoy walks and hiking. COVID has made meeting up with people more difficult though once this has settled down perhaps I'll look into meetups and the like.


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You should hang out at a laundromat women are always getting trapped in dryers somehow

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Looking at your OP I think the big difference between us is that being put in a sexual position (quite literally or otherwise) never gave me anxiety at all. That's despite the fact I was extremely anti social. The important part was I only needed to give myself one real chance for things to happen. It's the going out part that gave me anxiety. It was a huge roadblock not the actual sex part.

I was at a big disadvantage in terms of not liking drink though, which is a huge thing here. Caribbean people drink a lot. Talking pre covid but all our parties etc are built on alcohol. So it was a double turn off having to be around people and then being expected to drink on top of it. And I only like men so that's a big deal when you live in a pretty homophobic country/region and it's a small place too. So the pool of potential sex partners is very small compared to straight men and women. I got around that later by looking outside to international guys coming here.

Anyways I finally did it by not thinking too much. I was on apps for like 2 years and got a lot of offers, but I could never bring myself to go meet anyone! One day some guy messaged that lived pretty close so without thinking I agreed to meet and rushed over by him. It was like I was watching someone else do it. I didn't waste time talking before we had sex either and we got to the action. This strategy obviously won't work for everyone but if you get anxiety, giving yourself too much time to focus is a bad idea. After that first time things got better.

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Its not that big a deal. Just take it at your own pace.

totally serious question, have you considered getting a sex worker to help ease you into this?

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Mead posted...

You should hang out at a laundromat women are always getting trapped in dryers somehow

You might be onto something here. However I hear it's only step-sisters that do this.

MeteoricBurst posted...

This strategy obviously won't work for everyone but if you get anxiety, giving yourself too much time to focus is a bad idea. After that first time things got better.

Yeah. My anxiety issues are normally irrational thinking based on "what if?". Just going for it has worked for me in the past with other areas of my life so this might be the best approach.

PK_Spam posted...

totally serious question, have you considered getting a sex worker to help ease you into this?

I'd prefer for whatever happens to be not just about sex. Sex workers only offer that clearly and they charge you for the privilege. It would help me face my anxiety issues on the subject though so I'll never say never.

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Can't picture it for myself either, man.

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your idea of sex is completely skewed because of excessive porn watching, so you should probably get a handle on that first if how you treat women on here is any indicator

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I have pictures of me having sex

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No shame in seeking medical assistance or sex therapy

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Kanatteru posted...

your idea of sex is completely skewed because of excessive porn watching, so you should probably get a handle on that first if how you treat women on here is any indicator

... but porn and my own imagination is all I ever have. To my knowledge I've treated everyone equally here. If you're cool with me I'm cool with you.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Can't picture it for myself either, man.

I'm sure you have a better chance than me.


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wwinterj25 posted...

... but porn and my own imagination is all I ever have. To my knowledge I've treated everyone equally here. If you're cool with me I'm cool with you.

Porn addiction is a serious hindrance to pursuing a healthy relationship (I'm assuming you want that too and not just sex) and it's also probably contributing to your lack of confidence more than you realize. I'm not one of those people who advocate for complete abstinence from masturbation, but I do think cutting out porn can positively impact most people's lives. There's studies. There's plenty of online support groups to help with porn addiction if that's something you want to pursue.

Your assessment of you thinking you treat everyone here equally is straight up bizarre though. You know that's not true.

JigsawTDC posted...

Porn addiction

Nah. I enjoy porn(who doesn't?) but calling it a addiction is baffling.

Your assessment of you thinking you treat everyone here equally is straight up bizarre though. You know that's not true.

What people have I been hostile towards constantly that have been nothing but nice to me?


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wwinterj25 posted...

I'm sure you have a better chance than me.

Nah.

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Yes, I'm also having trouble picturing you. I'm glad we're in agreement.

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