Current Events > Make up a lame super power

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pegusus123456
04/06/24 4:00:12 AM
#51:


MartavisBryant posted...
The ability to travel 1 second into the future
There was a Homestuck character who had a time machine that could do this. It was seemingly useless, but the fact that they were still technically time traveling meant that they could travel forward a thousand years, one second a time, and no time would pass at all for the person inside.

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Thompson
04/06/24 4:00:32 AM
#52:


By touching a mammal other than a human with your left heel you can instantly tell when they last farted.

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bigtiggie23
04/06/24 4:03:48 AM
#53:


You have X-ray vision to see through clothes, but no matter who you look at you see the body of Ron Jeremy.

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Aristoph
04/06/24 4:16:56 AM
#54:


With USB-C becoming the standard, it's not as useful anymore. But I always liked the ability to plug in a USB the right way on the first try every time.

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Bokothechoco2
04/06/24 4:20:07 AM
#55:


I can shoot fireballs from my hands. But only when I'm underwater.
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dancing_cactuar
04/06/24 4:24:12 AM
#56:


Mind reading, but it's always on and works in a 20 foot radius around you.

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Kradek
04/06/24 4:26:45 AM
#57:


When I yawn I don't make everyone else around me yawn as well.

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ShaneMcComez
04/06/24 4:35:09 AM
#58:


The ability to tell who and where someone is taking a shit.

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Guide
04/06/24 6:13:02 AM
#59:


ShaneMcComez posted...
The ability to tell who and where someone is taking a shit.

This would be great for getting around cheap security, or robbing houses.

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Thompson
04/06/24 6:45:24 AM
#60:


Whenever you're within three feet of a white shark your odds at winning the jackpot in any Las Vegas casino slot machine increases by 25%.

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Sigs are rather pointless, except if it's to showcase animation and images.
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RadDude9000
04/06/24 6:52:15 AM
#61:


The power to smell crime.

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vycebrand2
04/06/24 7:50:24 AM
#62:


One of my favorite actual comic book hero's powers was Angleman. Almost usless

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Ivany2008
04/06/24 11:00:36 AM
#63:


DrizztLink posted...
And you have to alternate.

I don't think you understand how powerful that actually can be. A professional boxer who can once a day add an additional pound to his punches? He'll be knocking people out he has no business knocking out.

As for my useless power... the ability to see a penny on the ground, but only if I'm 30,000 feet in the air.
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MistyKnight
04/06/24 12:36:47 PM
#64:


Grow your finger nails really fast

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/06/24 1:07:57 PM
#65:


BlueKat posted...
something a long the lines of always being able to tell if a quarter will come up heads or tails. Like, it's entertaining but pretty much useless
You know how many things are decided by coin toss? You'll pretty much get anything you want with this power. >_>

MartavisBryant posted...
The ability to travel 1 second into the future
Could save your life if, for example, you're about to get hit by a car.

DrizztLink posted...
I can extend the shelf life of ketchup.

By a couple days.
If I had this power, I would actually be able to buy ketchup. As it is, I can't because I'll just end up throwing 90+% of it away. Of course, I'm assuming I can use the power on the same ketchup multiple times.

Cemith posted...
You can teleport, but only as far as you can jump. You are not immune to fall damage.
Unless there's a cool down time, this would still be super fast travel.

LonelyStoner posted...
Teleportation, but you can only teleport to Bed Bath and Beyond
Sounds to me like I can teleport to any city that has one of these.

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/06/24 1:12:36 PM
#66:


Glob posted...
The ability to phase through doors, but only if they are unlocked.
Could come in handy if they're barricaded or somebody is holding them closed.

DrizztLink posted...
The ability to make someone smell a hint of lavender on the breeze, just for a moment.
Could make for some nice benevolent acts.

mystic_belmont posted...
You can gain or lose weight, but only one pound, and only once per day.
Literally overpowered. You literally have no idea.

Robot2600 posted...
levitate in place a few inches, for a few seconds.
If I get to start freefalling over from zero velocity, this could save my life easily.


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RetuenOfDevsman
04/06/24 1:17:34 PM
#67:


KogaSteelfang posted...
The ability to cause people around you to get a faint whiff of popcorn.
Easiest, most untraceable distraction ever. Imagine getting people en mass to leave and go look for the popcorn stand that doesn't exist.

deoxxys posted...
Reduce people's headlight brightness by increments of 25% up to 100%. With a set timer so they don't have to replace their lights.

Driving down single lane roads at night is such a bitch because of this. Either it's a big ass truck and his headlights are level with my retinas or It's a car with those bright ass halogens or is the pure evil version which is a combination of both.

I've had to start driving with my cab light on so it isn't such a stark contrast when somebody comes driving down the road.

So that is my choice of mundane power.
Sign me the hell up

Nukazie posted...
levitation for only 3 feet off of solid ground
As before, instant stop falling.

Tyranthraxus posted...
Venusian Teleportation - You can teleport yourself, and any clothing you're wearing, to the surface of Venus
If you can send JUST the clothing, you could make mad bank as a stripper.

CobraGT posted...
To bake perfect butterscotch chip cookies
Literally the best one on the list except the weight one.

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/06/24 1:21:41 PM
#68:


Back_Stabbath posted...
You can perform impossible feats but only when no-one is watching and if you leave evidence of said feat you lose the power.
I'll take it. Sounds like fun, and guaranteed not to get kidnapped and experienced on.

YugiNoob posted...
The ability to control the length of your fingernails
So I can literally stab my opponents from literally any range by adjusting length while pointing at them?

Tyranthraxus posted...
You can touch an avocado and know approximately within an hour margin of error when it will be perfectly ripe.
I will become the world's greatest avocado chef.

Guide posted...
You can control a fly's flight for 5 seconds every 12 hours.
Five seconds is long enough to make them go out the window and close it.

mustachedmystic posted...
Intersectionman! He has the power to change traffic lights green as he pulls up on them.
So I literally get two months of my life back?

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/06/24 1:26:01 PM
#69:


Aristoph posted...
With USB-C becoming the standard, it's not as useful anymore. But I always liked the ability to plug in a USB the right way on the first try every time.
I still use a lot of A's, so hell yeah.

Kradek posted...
When I yawn I don't make everyone else around me yawn as well.
Superhuman courtesy, I love it.

ShaneMcComez posted...
The ability to tell who and where someone is taking a shit.
Could come in handy, if someone is trying to use taking a dump as a lame excuse, or is trying to make a lame excuse to hide the fact that they're taking a dump.

Thompson posted...
Whenever you're within three feet of a white shark your odds at winning the jackpot in any Las Vegas casino slot machine increases by 25%.
Does it go back down when you leave the shark's presence? If not, you could get one of those cage things and win the universe.

RadDude9000 posted...
The power to smell crime.
Literal Spider-Sense.

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bnui_ransder
04/06/24 1:27:19 PM
#70:


The power to see the surface temperature of a pillow

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Aysander
04/06/24 1:28:46 PM
#71:


Any weapon you touch, you can immediately master.

It doesn't seem like a lame power at first glance, but in a more peaceful world you may as well not even have a power at all.

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Ernie.
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Cemith
04/06/24 1:33:09 PM
#72:


Aristoph posted...
With USB-C becoming the standard, it's not as useful anymore. But I always liked the ability to plug in a USB the right way on the first try every time.

They specified a "useless" superpower.

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/06/24 1:34:57 PM
#73:


Aysander posted...
Any weapon you touch, you can immediately master.

It doesn't seem like a lame power at first glance, but in a more peaceful world you may as well not even have a power at all.
Weaponry is largely recreational, actually.

Consider Lars Anderson or fencing. I guess you could argue the swords used in fencing don't count as weapons. But there are other examples, like ornamental staff usage or skeet shooting.

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Tyranthraxus
04/06/24 2:12:00 PM
#74:


You have the super power to use one copy of Demonic Tutor in any official magic the gathering format and no one thinks it's weird.

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SkittyOnWailord
04/06/24 2:13:15 PM
#75:


Being able to instantly, at will, teleport 3 inches to your right.

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ShaneMcComez
04/06/24 2:25:45 PM
#76:


You can materialize out of thin air plastic minor league baseball trophies. Only good for stocking a trophy shelf. No value in selling them. Now that's gotta be a pretty lame super power I suggested.

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"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
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Cemith
04/06/24 2:29:25 PM
#77:


SkittyOnWailord posted...
Being able to instantly, at will, teleport 3 inches to your right.

Nope. Without a cap on how many times you can do it per day, you can teleport 3 inches to your right once every 100th of a second.

300 inches per second is 18,000 inches per minute, or roughly 1500 feet per minute.

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MartavisBryant
04/06/24 3:15:46 PM
#78:


The ability to age rapidly at will

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LinkDaLunatic
04/06/24 4:42:23 PM
#79:


the ability to turn any ziploc bag into a regular resealable bag of the same size and capacity

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stevo6452
04/06/24 5:01:53 PM
#80:


The ability to manipulate milk and other dairy products.

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Ratchetrockon
04/06/24 5:03:45 PM
#81:


The ability to think up stupid lame powers

I seriously need this one rn

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-Crissaegrim-
04/06/24 5:04:54 PM
#82:


The ability to give Racketrockon the ability to think up stupid lame powers.

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Ratchetrockon
04/06/24 5:11:49 PM
#83:


-Crissaegrim- posted...
The ability to give Racketrockon the ability to think up stupid lame powers.
Lmao

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deoxxys
04/06/24 6:15:27 PM
#84:


There's a difference in lame superpowers and useless super powers guys.

It's okay to think of powers that would only help you in everyday mundane life. They don't have to be completely useless. I thought the connotation was that lame meant it couldn't be used in combat, so that being a superhero was out of the question.

Being able to lose a pound every day or dimming people's headlights are useful but still lame.

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Trumble
04/06/24 6:18:55 PM
#85:


The power to tell with perfect accuracy who ripped any given fart that you hear and/or smell.

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YugiNoob
04/06/24 7:56:10 PM
#86:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
So I can literally stab my opponents from literally any range by adjusting length while pointing at them?
I mean sure, if you have freakishly strong nails I guess. Best you can realistically do is
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1bba79f9.jpg


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Crimsoness
04/06/24 7:58:28 PM
#87:


The ability to tell if a guys name is Steve or not

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ellis123
04/06/24 7:59:43 PM
#88:


The ability to know the name of any fish.

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Guide
04/06/24 8:45:46 PM
#89:


ellis123 posted...
The ability to know the name of any fish.

Ichthyologists foaming at the mouth to find an unnamed fish before anyone else

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ellis123
04/06/24 8:49:44 PM
#90:


Guide posted...
Ichthyologists foaming at the mouth to find an unnamed fish before anyone else
I never said the names would be pronounceable by humans.

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Guide
04/06/24 8:55:33 PM
#91:


ellis123 posted...
I never said the names would be pronounceable by humans.

you know damned well we'd do our best.
CTHULHU FHTAGN


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Jiek_Fafn
04/06/24 8:56:52 PM
#92:


The ability to make someone think any object belongs to them.

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ellis123
04/06/24 8:57:06 PM
#93:


Guide posted...
you know damned well we'd do our best.
CTHULHU FHTAGN
None of those are fish letters.

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Puelto295
04/06/24 9:00:57 PM
#94:


You can turn any inorganic object/material into plastic when you touch it, but you must be actively concentrating on changing the item, has no effect on things already made of plastic and you must make contact using your fingers.

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Guide
04/06/24 9:02:29 PM
#95:


ellis123 posted...
None of those are fish letters.
I'm sure they have CDEFGAB
because they have SCALES, CARL

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-Unowninator-
04/06/24 9:06:42 PM
#96:


The ability to explode.

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ellis123
04/06/24 9:08:30 PM
#97:


Guide posted...
I'm sure they have CDEFGAB
because they have SCALES, CARL
*golf clap*

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SaikyoStyle
04/06/24 9:14:21 PM
#98:


You can turn any candle into a scented candle.

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Darkraiomb
04/06/24 9:16:51 PM
#99:


https://youtu.be/pX2O6fRXwz4?t=15

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YugiNoob
04/06/24 9:50:16 PM
#100:


-Unowninator- posted...
The ability to explode.
Is your name Bailey Hoskins?

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