LogFAQs


Board 8 > Madame Web reviews: "It is the Cats: The Movie of superhero movies"

Topic List
Page List: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 10
FFDragon
02/13/24 5:17:39 PM
#51:


Not only is Madame Web a mess of a movie it doesnt even qualify as a its so bad its good moment of escapist entertainment. It suffers from a much worse fate: its utterly forgettable.

uh oh

Its the kind of movie destined for repeat 10 p.m. viewings on TNT

lmao that's actually the clearest picture painted yet

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
UshiromiyaEva
02/13/24 5:26:16 PM
#52:


https://twitter.com/HollywoodHandle/status/1757198658359951686?t=GyjBvDDuS5vRgIlnPClEiA&s=19

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6d6082d9.jpg

---
https://youtu.be/qj9p6IFSlnk?si=cZ5L4OPM0TjVjwCD
https://i.ibb.co/3M3Gmgj/r-CEGjv8-Q2-Stzp2rdtr9pg-UVi.png
... Copied to Clipboard!
UshiromiyaEva
02/13/24 5:28:39 PM
#53:


I feel like movie may actually be trying to be so bad it's good on purpose, like it's a studio psyop to make company manufactured meme trash.

This is the film equivalent of the Pringles Twitter account talking about getting a chicken dinner in Fortnite.

---
https://youtu.be/qj9p6IFSlnk?si=cZ5L4OPM0TjVjwCD
https://i.ibb.co/3M3Gmgj/r-CEGjv8-Q2-Stzp2rdtr9pg-UVi.png
... Copied to Clipboard!
RikkuAlmighty
02/13/24 5:37:35 PM
#54:


Didnt the venom symbiote show up in and MCU post credits scene somewhere

---
https://backloggery.com/cwistofu
https://letterboxd.com/cwistofu/
... Copied to Clipboard!
MartinFF7
02/13/24 5:43:22 PM
#55:


How is Sony so good at making such mediocre Spiderman spinoff (?) movies. iirc Kraven was delayed, I wonder if this one monstrously bombing might cause it to be shelved entirely? No, they need to keep churning these out to maintain the rights don't they...

RikkuAlmighty posted...
Didnt the venom symbiote show up in and MCU post credits scene somewhere

No Way Home, yeah

... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/13/24 6:38:32 PM
#56:


UshiromiyaEva posted...
https://twitter.com/HollywoodHandle/status/1757198658359951686?t=GyjBvDDuS5vRgIlnPClEiA&s=19

...not sure if I need more or less drugs when I watch this

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
andylt
02/14/24 7:21:02 AM
#57:


I'm almost impressed at how Rotten Tomatoes has managed to put together a collection of positive quotes to make this look less derided:
https://editorial.rottentomatoes.com/article/madame-web-first-reviews/
... Copied to Clipboard!
LightningStrikes
02/14/24 7:33:52 AM
#58:


That headline quote is weird because from what Ive seen it sounds like this IS the worst Spider-Man spinoff! For all the memes Morbius was just a bad movie while this looks and sounds actively terrible.

Also this is the thing about this movie: its so cheap it cant really horrendously bomb. Even if it makes zero money it will lose less than what The Flash and The Marvels lost. And its not going to make zero money, there is still that built in audience that turns up for anything Marvel-related. This will probably post a small loss but not enough to dissuade Sony, if anything theyll just start making them for even cheaper.

---
I just decided to change this sig.
Blaaaaaaargh azuarc
... Copied to Clipboard!
ZenOfThunder
02/14/24 10:38:15 AM
#59:


About to go in to see this. It is madaming time

---
(|| ' ' ||) When have you ever seen three big, very smooth arcs
. /|_|\ of hair sticking out of a person's forehead? I haven't!
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/14/24 10:39:12 AM
#60:


your reveiw will fuel the back half of my work day

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
paperwarior
02/14/24 12:00:29 PM
#61:


Maybe they'd be better off having Insomniac make feature-length cutscenes

---
"God Hand is the ultimate expression of the joy of humanity, specifically the punching part of the joy of humanity."-Shigeru Miyamoto
... Copied to Clipboard!
Tirofog
02/14/24 12:59:57 PM
#62:


https://twitter.com/zachsilberberg/status/1757802255216963997

---
I'm just here to post something barely relevant, then fade back into the shadows. It's a tough job, but BKSheikah has to do it.
... Copied to Clipboard!
Sheep007
02/14/24 1:18:01 PM
#63:


foolm0r0n posted...
If they can replicate that with this movie then they will officially make Shitty Marvel a genre that they will pump out every year. It will be a challenge to get the lowest RT score. Fans will love it. They'll eventually make an Avengers movie that features all the characters.
I refuse to watch any of these on principle but if they do an Avengers with Squirrel Girl I'll at least pirate it.

---
Perhaps the golden rock was inside us all along.
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/14/24 1:19:41 PM
#64:


Tirofog posted...
https://twitter.com/zachsilberberg/status/1757802255216963997

I've heard rumors they cut that line. The audacity if so.

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/14/24 1:28:52 PM
#65:


The film is fine for the first 30 minutes and you almost wonder if it might not be as bad as everyone is imagining. But then it somehow gets worse and worse until you just feel embarrassed for the cast.

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
LightningStrikes
02/14/24 2:35:30 PM
#66:


Thats basically how I felt watching the trailer. Oh this is kind of neat wait never mind. Also that line is indeed cut.

---
I just decided to change this sig.
Blaaaaaaargh azuarc
... Copied to Clipboard!
ZenOfThunder
02/14/24 3:40:56 PM
#67:


This is one of the worse movies I have ever seen and my Valentines Day is ruined

here is my review which is mainly just my unedited uncensored thoughts (with spoilers)

https://boxd.it/5PItIt

---
(|| ' ' ||) When have you ever seen three big, very smooth arcs
. /|_|\ of hair sticking out of a person's forehead? I haven't!
... Copied to Clipboard!
UshiromiyaEva
02/14/24 3:52:45 PM
#68:


The most important thing I need to know is does it seem naturally horrific or does it seem like it was made bad on purpose.

---
https://youtu.be/qj9p6IFSlnk?si=cZ5L4OPM0TjVjwCD
https://i.ibb.co/3M3Gmgj/r-CEGjv8-Q2-Stzp2rdtr9pg-UVi.png
... Copied to Clipboard!
redrocket
02/14/24 4:19:53 PM
#69:


FFDragon posted...
...not sure if I need more or less drugs when I watch this

https://youtu.be/0wFHqFpZjJ8?si=7pPL8MzLQEIFN5Kb

---
It's like paying for bubble wrap. -transience on Final Fantasy: All the Bravest
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/14/24 4:31:14 PM
#70:


ZenOfThunder posted...
This is one of the worse movies I have ever seen and my Valentines Day is ruined

here is my review which is mainly just my unedited uncensored thoughts (with spoilers)

https://boxd.it/5PItIt

Oh man, that's the good stuff right there

ADAM SCOTT IS UNCLE BEN???? ADAM SCOTT IS BONING AUNT MAY????

Oh man now there's a curve ball out if nowhere


---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
Forceful_Dragon
02/14/24 4:40:27 PM
#71:


Someone probably lied and told him he'd get to make out with Marisa Tomei. It's the only thing that makes sense.

---
~C~ FD
http://i.imgur.com/dGDfxaw.png
... Copied to Clipboard!
MartinFF7
02/14/24 4:42:41 PM
#72:


lol'ed at the writeup, thank you for sharing that but I also feel like my life is marginally worse for having read an account of the movie, like I'm still being infected by its badness via osmosis, lol...

I also want this flying ambulance tackle gif, and more than that I am looking forward to the Pitch Meeting video on this (assuming that guy doesn't walk out and/or have an aneurysm when watching it, at least)
... Copied to Clipboard!
WarThaNemesis2
02/14/24 5:01:00 PM
#73:


Zen are you okay

---
Not a stinky alien. :(
Nintendo Switch Code: SW-5719-6555-8388
... Copied to Clipboard!
andylt
02/14/24 5:01:25 PM
#74:


Every time you insisted on calling her Madame Web it made me chuckle. What a silly name.
... Copied to Clipboard!
ZenOfThunder
02/14/24 5:05:51 PM
#75:


I have been thinking about it nonstop, and I am pretty sure Ezekiel is the worst villain in a superhero movie, probably ever. I cannot think of anyone worse outside of maybe... whoever was the bad guys in Ghost Rider and Elektra

Ezekiel klls Madame Web's mom, not in a cool way, just with a gun, because he "has to" because he had a rough childhood. The movie does not elaborate on this, he just says it once, to justify his... murder.

He takes the Willy Wonka-looking spider form Madame Web's mom, and my assumption was that he was going to sell it for money, but I guess he let it bite him off screen so that he could get powers, because he definitively seemed to know that this exotic, previously undiscovered spider would DEFINITELY give him future sight and spider powers. Train of thought: the same spider gave Ezekiel Spider-Man powers AND future sight but only gave Madame Web future sight. She mentions this as weird but they never address it again because it would be too hard for the screenwriter to do another pass.

So we time skip and Ezekiel is... just living the good life. He DIDN'T sell the spider and has it as a pet or something. It is unclear what Ezekiel does for a living, I think he's just a "bad guy."

Ezekiel's ONLY motivation, the ONLY thing that makes him attack the girls, is that he has this recurring vision that the three of them would one day Comedian him out of a big glass window. Because of this he is determined to kill them so he can... live.

There is no deeper plan here, Ezekiel isn't like "oh man these girls are gonna stop me from... shooting a big blue laser into the sky and turning everyone into spiders," he JUST WANTS TO NOT GET THROWN OUT OF A WINDOW

He also has like, an intern or something? The bad guy has a "man in the chair" and they never explain who she is to Ezekiel or what she really does. He just yells at her over the phone a lot

I am just baffled at how weak the motivation here is. Ezekiel and his intern are also dumb as hell too, he sees the three girls get on a train together and it doesn't click to him that maybe he is writing his own destiny by basically being the reason that they form a girl power team to kick his ass

Maybe my expectations were a little high because Ezekiel was a big part of the early Spider-Verse stuff in the comics. I thought his motivation would be related to that. But nope. He just wants to not get thrown out of a window.

Then it doesn't even fucking matter because his vision is wrong and he is crushed by product placement

This is not even half baked, this is like, raw ingredient still in the cupboard

EDIT: this movie may have driven me insane I can't stop thinking about it

---
(|| ' ' ||) When have you ever seen three big, very smooth arcs
. /|_|\ of hair sticking out of a person's forehead? I haven't!
... Copied to Clipboard!
MartinFF7
02/14/24 5:13:05 PM
#76:


ZenOfThunder posted...
EDIT: this movie may have driven me insane I can't stop thinking about it

In the Mouth of Mad(ame Web)ness
... Copied to Clipboard!
Maniac64
02/14/24 5:15:38 PM
#77:


ZenOfThunder posted...
This is one of the worse movies I have ever seen and my Valentines Day is ruined

here is my review which is mainly just my unedited uncensored thoughts (with spoilers)

https://boxd.it/5PItIt
Thank you for this

---
"Hope is allowed to be stupid, unwise, and naive." ~Sir Chris
... Copied to Clipboard!
redrocket
02/14/24 5:23:45 PM
#78:


ZenOfThunder posted...

EDIT: this movie may have driven me insane I can't stop thinking about it

We honor your sacrifice O7

---
It's like paying for bubble wrap. -transience on Final Fantasy: All the Bravest
... Copied to Clipboard!
jcgamer107
02/14/24 5:33:37 PM
#79:


foolm0r0n posted...
If they can replicate that with this movie then they will officially make Shitty Marvel a genre that they will pump out every year. It will be a challenge to get the lowest RT score. Fans will love it. They'll eventually make an Avengers movie that features all the characters.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/fe93ef1a.jpg

---
azuarc wasn't even home. he was playing Magic the Gathering at his buddy's store, which is extremely easy to verify
... Copied to Clipboard!
foolm0r0n
02/14/24 5:35:05 PM
#80:


The writeup def makes it sound boring

---
_foolmo_
he says listen to my story this maybe are last chance
... Copied to Clipboard!
ZenOfThunder
02/14/24 5:42:56 PM
#81:


it was very boring AND frustrating, if you have any intelligence at all (and I'm talking "middle school diploma") then it will be difficult to sit through. it takes forever to get going and you can tell the FIVE SCREENWRITERS had trouble making "future sight" a cool or interesting power

This is what happens when you take a character with no good source material and try to get a screenplay out of it

so you have Madame Web in the cartoon, who really doesn't do anything but say some cryptic shit every few episodes, and you have... 48 issues of comic book material:

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Cassandra_Webb_(Earth-616)/Appearances

they also use Jessica Drew's costume from when she becomes Madame Web so I guess you can count that brief period she was being actively used as Madame Web II as source material also

but unlike even Morbius, Madame Web never got spinoffs or one shots about her character. She exists to be a plot device. This was easily the most ill-advised movie Sony could have made

oh wait

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Juan-Carlos_Snchez_(Earth-616)/Appearances

...

---
(|| ' ' ||) When have you ever seen three big, very smooth arcs
. /|_|\ of hair sticking out of a person's forehead? I haven't!
... Copied to Clipboard!
MoogleKupo141
02/14/24 6:50:54 PM
#82:


why did they even make that character Ezekiel

its not like that name is going to put asses in the seats

---
For your Azuarc .
At least Kupo has class and doesn't MESSAGE the people -Dr Pizza
... Copied to Clipboard!
MoogleKupo141
02/14/24 6:52:45 PM
#83:


Forceful_Dragon posted...
Someone probably lied and told him he'd get to make out with Marisa Tomei. It's the only thing that makes sense.

hes kind of a nerd, he may have thought it would be cool to be Uncle Ben even if he knew the movie was going to be junk

and he had to know it would be junk

---
For your Azuarc .
At least Kupo has class and doesn't MESSAGE the people -Dr Pizza
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/14/24 7:34:52 PM
#84:


He just wanted to be an Uncle Ben that didn't die

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/15/24 9:00:46 AM
#85:


What an unreservedly hopeless film this is: a sort of two-hour explosion in a boringness factory, in which the forces of dullness and stupidity combine in new and infinitely perturbing ways.

I know the answer is $$$ but why would anyone involved allow this to happen

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
foolm0r0n
02/15/24 10:01:42 AM
#86:


The answer to that probably isn't money. They could've made something much better and more profitable will the same or less money. The answer is plain old corporate dysfunction. High turnover at all levels, layoffs, unchecked egos, etc.

---
_foolmo_
he says listen to my story this maybe are last chance
... Copied to Clipboard!
KamikazePotato
02/15/24 10:09:18 AM
#87:


Simplified answer:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Sazama_and_Burk_Sharpless

Look at the pedigree of the writers. They literally did Morbius too

---
It's Reyn Time.
... Copied to Clipboard!
ZenOfThunder
02/15/24 10:21:18 AM
#88:


https://fxtwitter.com/henereyg/status/1758004501397840181?s=46&t=LbFuzdseWWHtYiJy3maF0w

---
(|| ' ' ||) When have you ever seen three big, very smooth arcs
. /|_|\ of hair sticking out of a person's forehead? I haven't!
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/15/24 10:21:36 AM
#89:


KamikazePotato posted...
They literally did Morbius too


oh okay

weaponized incompetence it is

you got absolutely dunked on by the entire world for how bad morbin time was and still gave them the reins to another movie?

that's a gigantic oof

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
redrocket
02/15/24 10:32:04 AM
#90:


Fun fact applicable to all industries: when management no longer even pretends to take pride in what their company actually does, the employees will stop taking pride in it too.

---
It's like paying for bubble wrap. -transience on Final Fantasy: All the Bravest
... Copied to Clipboard!
LiquidOshawott
02/15/24 10:36:44 AM
#91:


FFDragon posted...
oh okay

weaponized incompetence it is

you got absolutely dunked on by the entire world for how bad morbin time was and still gave them the reins to another movie?

that's a gigantic oof

I think the film was already written and filming was about to begin by the time Morbius came out

---
I live on, THROUGH THIS SEASHELL!
VeryInsane's mobile account
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/15/24 10:40:35 AM
#92:


Still. Someone had to read the script and go "no."

Also any actor who read the script should have gone "no."

but dakota johnson did fire her agent the day that first trailer dropped so they all knew on some level

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
Anagram
02/15/24 10:44:51 AM
#93:


A lot of the time, once the wheels are in motion, its very difficult to stop these giant projects. Too much money is already invested, too many people are already paid, and canceling something at an early, but not immediate, stage requires you to say I could just tell it would be an embarrassing mess, but I have no or very little evidence, making it easy to look like incompetence.

---
Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
... Copied to Clipboard!
MacArrowny
02/15/24 10:46:31 AM
#94:


Anagram posted...
A lot of the time, once the wheels are in motion, its very difficult to stop these giant projects. Too much money is already invested, too many people are already paid, and canceling something at an early, but not immediate, stage requires you to say I could just tell it would be an embarrassing mess, but I have no or very little evidence, making it easy to look like incompetence.
WB has been throwing a bunch of movies in the trash.

---
All the stars in the sky are waiting for you.
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/15/24 10:49:57 AM
#95:


Yeah they dumpstered both Batgirl and Coyote vs. Acme, and I don't think they even lost money over it because of tax loopholes.

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
Anagram
02/15/24 10:57:39 AM
#96:


MacArrowny posted...
WB has been throwing a bunch of movies in the trash.
That was big news both times! Especially with Batgirl.

---
Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
... Copied to Clipboard!
FFDragon
02/15/24 10:57:41 AM
#97:


Madame Web's disastrously-woven pile of flaws exceeds the descriptive limits of not only the English language, but of the very collective of contrived sound itself.

Its a travesty, a disaster, a blight on the history of superheroes and cinema itself.


I don't know why but I absolutely cannot stop reading reviews. It feels like everyone who has seen it so far has gone collectively just a bit insaner.

---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
... Copied to Clipboard!
LiquidOshawott
02/15/24 11:02:32 AM
#98:


Sonys financials are way way better than WB Discovery though so I dont think they care as much about writing off a movie

---
I live on, THROUGH THIS SEASHELL!
VeryInsane's mobile account
... Copied to Clipboard!
MacArrowny
02/15/24 11:07:36 AM
#99:


FFDragon posted...
Yeah they dumpstered both Batgirl and Coyote vs. Acme, and I don't think they even lost money over it because of tax loopholes.
They definitely lost money, just less money than they thought they'd lose by screening them.

---
All the stars in the sky are waiting for you.
... Copied to Clipboard!
foolm0r0n
02/15/24 11:10:16 AM
#100:


MacArrowny posted...
WB has been throwing a bunch of movies in the trash.
. It honestly reflects well on the directors for being able to push the movie out, that's pretty difficult

---
_foolmo_
he says listen to my story this maybe are last chance
... Copied to Clipboard!
Topic List
Page List: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 10