Current Events > After bottom surgery, she's never telling a guy shes trans ever again

(+) Yeah! (+)

asdf8562 posted...

Lying by omission isn't the "simple" problem people are having.

Hey I very much agree with you on that.

So maybe people should stop using it as an excuse.

CyricZ posted...

Hey I very much agree with you on that.

So maybe people should stop using it as an excuse.

Then disingenuous statements that they are the same, or asking why does it matter should stop being used.

It could change in the future, but presently cis and trans are not the same right now.

asdf8562 posted...

Then disingenuous statements that they are the same, or asking why does it matter should stop being used.

Oh yes must protect the sanctity of all the very good faith arguments in this topic.

Which by the way, thank YOU for participating in the propping up of the arguments by same very good faith posters.

EDIT: I also find it funny how hockeybub said "unless they want a natural born child" and your response was "but what if they want a natural born child" like you're not even paying attention to his posts and just barking.

CyricZ posted...

Oh yes must protect the sanctity of all the very good faith arguments in this topic.

Which by the way, thank YOU for participating in the propping up of the arguments by same very good faith posters.

Many opposed to this, have addressed cis and trans are not the same thing. It has long been explained this is highly controversial and that there are capabilities a cis gendered has that presently a trans woman does not. It isn't just about physical appearance.

It's also been said plenty of times it doesn't mean that a cis can't love a trans, or vice versa.

The problem with this topic is the disingenuous spin of not understanding why a cis wouldn't want to have sex with a trans and pretending they're the same.

Then there's you trying to make this into a simple lying by omission spin. I'm definitely still saying it's lying by omission, you on the other hand are disingenuously spinning it to be that simple when you know it's not.

I would never tell any person something personal about me unless I liked and trusted them. No one is owed shit.

Vegy posted...

According to da poll, 75% say dey are NOT ok with dis

Well, yeah. A lot of people are just not vocal about it because some members here will run to the mods. I bet if this poll were taken outside the US and a handful of other Western spots, that 74-75 percent would jump to 95 percent or more.

Flauros posted...

Ive seen hundreds of NVDs and a lot of them arent pretty.

Believe this guy, he watches a ton of trans porn

Cyric, you don't have a girlfriend. Sit down.

I had the most wonderful conversation with someone at a Old Navy that I frequent, but the conversation doesnt look anything at all like this so I question if you guys have ever had these conversations beyond forums and electronics

Im gonna gas myself up some and say Im to the point theres nothing much to say about these conversations or many at all anymore since it all winds down to a yes or no anyways

Dont be like yall - be like like me, RedLuigi

Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Well, yeah. A lot of people are just not vocal about it because some members here will run to the mods. I bet if this poll were taken outside the US and a handful of other Western spots, that 74-75 percent would jump to 95 percent or more.

The world absolutely hating trans people and wanting them to go away doesn't make it right. I'd be lobotomized or dead if I was born in a time and place where people like me weren't accepted.

hockeybub89 posted...

The world absolutely hating trans people and wanting them to go away doesn't make it right.

Not wanting to have sex with you doesn't mean they hate you.

ssk9716757 posted...

this. especially if no one can tell, it literally makes no difference.

You do know it's gotten trans woman beaten and or killed even, right? And you're telling us it doeasnt matter?......Wtf.

Prismsblade posted...

You do know it's gotten trans woman beaten and or killed even, right? And you're telling us it doeasnt matter?......Wtf.

More trans women have been killed for being upfront about their status than trans women who didn't reveal that information up front only to have it revealed later.

And the onus would still be 100% on the murderer. Don't push this shit on trans women to reveal they're trans and endangering themselves in doing so while saying it's for our safety.

Prismsblade posted...

You do know it's gotten trans woman beaten and or killed even, right? And you're telling us it doeasnt matter?......Wtf.

Being trans gets trans people murdered far too often. Im not gonna blame trans people for that.

Prismsblade posted...

You do know it's gotten trans woman beaten and or killed even, right? And you're telling us it doeasnt matter?......Wtf.

This is like telling women they need to wear burqas if they want to stop getting raped for looking sexy.

hockeybub89 posted...

This is like telling women they need to wear burqas if they want to stop getting raped for looking sexy.

But wait, women with burqas do get raped. Because it's never been about what they were wearing, it's about the rapist wanting something without regard for other people.

asdf8562 posted...

Not wanting to have sex with you doesn't mean they hate you.

They definitely hate them a lot of the times. And there are a million things that can end a relationship. Should everyone write a biography and spill their guts to every single person they consider even a one-night stand with?

Does a woman have a moral obligation to talk about their infertility on the first date? Their struggle with depression based on a past trauma?

asdf8562 posted...

Not wanting to have sex with you doesn't mean they hate you.

Not hate, just that they don't think you're a woman.

asdf8562 posted...

cis and trans are not the same thing

Show me a single person in the topic arguing that cis and trans are the same thing. You're implanting a stance on an argument no one is making.

It has long been explained this is highly controversial

Another stance on an argument no one is making. Yeah I know. That's why I'm in here arguing about it. I don't think "controversial" means what you think it means if you're trying to shut down the argument from that direction.

It's also been said plenty of times it doesn't mean that a cis can't love a trans, or vice versa.

Another argument no is making.

I'm definitely still saying it's lying by omission

Maybe you should stop then. My point in this topic there are a lot of things people keep private until they know they can trust their partner. Presuming that being trans is something that is exempt from that because of your own personal hang-ups is discriminatory.

Or don't stop. Honestly why should I interrupt you in the middle of making a mistake over and over again.

CyricZ posted...

Show me a single person in the topic arguing that cis and trans are the same thing. You're implanting a stance on an argument no one is making.

Now another disingenuous spin. Now you are here pretending there isn't people in this topic arguing there's no difference between a cis gendered and a transgendered. That since they look the same, it shouldn't matter/shouldn't have to angle...tip toeing around they do actually have differences.

Like I said a few pages back, this topic is pointless.

gunplagirl posted...

More trans women have been killed for being upfront about their status than trans women who didn't reveal that information up front only to have it revealed later.

And the onus would still be 100% on the murderer. Don't push this shit on trans women to reveal they're trans and endangering themselves in doing so while saying it's for our safety.

That doeasnt make the latter alright. And Im not passing blame from the murderer. Their judgment is inevitable, but by then its already to late. Which is why crime prevention is so important.

Also relationships built on a lie more often then not are doomed to fail. So at best lying will just delay the inevitable.

NatsuSama posted...

Now another disingenuous spin. Now you are here pretending there isn't people in this topic arguing there's no difference between a cis gendered and a transgendered.

Like I said a few pages back, this topic is pointless.

One would think you could show me instead of pontificating like it's just an understood fact that such a message exists.

You could just show me the message.

There's gotta be a word for someone trying to knock down an argument with no evidence or support.

"Pointless" fits, I think.

Prismsblade posted...

Their judgment is inevitable, but by then its already to late.

This is some fatalist "trans people should just give up because they're gonna get murdered either way" mentality.

Which is why crime prevention is so important.

I really think "reinforcing that people are okay for being repulsed by the risk of a trans person being a potential partner" goes against such preventative measures.

But hey what do I know.

CyricZ posted...

You could just show me the message.

Or you could try to be honest with the discussion.

First page, post 12. That post argues this is okay because she's not a male by sex or gender. Thats just one post alone suggesting a trans woman is the same as a cis woman. But like I said, being disingenuous is your argument. You will most certainly have some response that attempts to tap dance around that.

Rathinor posted...

Believe this guy, he watches a ton of trans porn

Not so much porn as it is medical gore and botched surgeries

Prismsblade posted...

That doeasnt make the latter alright. And Im not passing blame from the murderer. Their judgment is inevitable, but by then its already to late. Which is why crime prevention is so important.

Also relationships built on a lie more often then not are doomed to fail. So at best lying will just delay the inevitable.

So nothing should be withheld the first time one meets a potential partner? Sex-havers aren't allowed personal privacy?

asdf8562 posted...

First page, post 12. That post argues this is okay because she's not a male by sex or gender. Thats just one post alone suggesting a trans woman is the same as a cis woman. But like I said, being disingenuous is your argument. You will most certainly have some response that attempts to tap dance around that.

You've made the most ridiculous reach made in this entire topic and that's saying something.

Post 12 stated two facts. What kind of galaxy brain take goes onto say two facts equals "exactly the same"?

Like you don't have to answer. I know what kind of brain looks at a post like that and presumes vast conspiracy.

CyricZ posted...

This is some fatalist "trans people should just give up because they're gonna get murdered either way" mentality.

I'm not really sure what they should do, but lying isn't one of them.

CyricZ posted...

really think "reinforcing that people are okay for being repulsed by the risk of a trans person being a potential partner" goes against such preventative measures.

But hey what do I know.

What you or anyone else thinks doesn't matter, no amount of mocking, shaming or lying even will change them.

Prismsblade posted...

That doeasnt make the latter alright. And Im not passing blame from the murderer. Their judgment is inevitable, but by then its already to late. Which is why crime prevention is so important.

Also relationships built on a lie more often then not are doomed to fail. So at best lying will just delay the inevitable.

1, you're still pushing blame on the victim by saying it's okay for people to be disgusted with trans people as that's the viewpoint that makes people hurt trans people.
2, it isn't lying, you're the one who needs to evaluate their worldview and realize that what you assume about others isn't the same as them lying. It's only lying if you ask if she's cis and she says she is.
3, what the fuck is your problem if you think that being a victim for being trans doesn't make hiding being trans an acceptable response. Again, pushing the blame on trans people by calling it preventative but then saying it's also lying.

Prismsblade posted...

I'm not really sure what they should do, but lying isn't one of them.

What you or anyone else thinks doesn't matter, no amount of mocking, shaming or lying even will change them.

It's not lying, you're the one making assumptions.

And what a bullshit reply, "it doesn't matter that people think trans people are subhuman" and you're saying it's bad to shame people with such views.

Remember: You're a liar if you don't spill your entire life immediately to everyone you will potentially befriend or fuck. Personal privacy is the same as lying.

hockeybub89 posted...

Remember: You're a liar if you don't spill your entire life immediately to everyone you will potentially befriend or fuck. Personal privacy is the same as lying.

Only applies to trans people, but I couldn't imagine why. :la

Prismsblade posted...

I'm not really sure what they should do, but lying isn't one of them.

If you have nothing constructive to add, maybe just don't post.

What you or anyone else thinks doesn't matter, no amount of mocking, shaming or lying even will change them.

The shame is theirs alone to feel for being attracted to a trans person. I'm here to say that there's no shame even necessary in that.

I've said this in other topics, but:

• No one is going to force you to date a trans person.
• No one is saying you cannot refuse to date a particular person for any reason including them being transgender.

What I'm seeking to prevent (hey there's that word again) is the attitudes that justify these unhealthy "it's all on the trans people to reveal they're trans" mentalities.

The first step comes with realizing it's okay to be attracted to a trans person, and it's okay to not seek to do anything further with that.

The second step is not adding to the toxicity of pretending the repulsion is on anyone but yourself.

If you don't have anything to add, don't post.

Just gonna add that lying to prevent yourself from getting assaulted/murdered is absolutely fine but not telling someone youre trans if they havent asked isnt lying

I cannot imagine being so narcissistic to the point that I feel I am owed sex, let alone sex by deception. And then after exhausting those venues, sex by guilt trip.

Well, block list just went up. 7 karma on an alt that's been warned twice.

PuppetPalClem posted...

I cannot imagine being so narcissistic to the point that I feel I am owed sex, let alone sex by deception. And then after exhausting those venues, sex by guilt trip.

"How dare this trans person guilt me into being attracted to them?"

And other nuclear takes.

spikethedevil posted...

Love how post 12 is still up >_>

why wouldnt it be?

CyricZ posted...

"How dare this trans person guilt me into being attracted to them?"

And other nuclear takes.

Just some individuals ITT. Ive no idea which of you are trans.

MutantJohn posted...

Cyric, you don't have a girlfriend. Sit down.

Let him have his fun.

Just to restate it, because it really can't be said enough:

You're not a bigot just because you don't want to have sex with trans people. You can have sex with whoever you want, for any reason, as long as it's consenting and legal. No one reasonable is actually contesting that.

But ALSO they absolutely do not have to tell you they're trans.

These two things aren't mutually exclusive.

I think at some point you do have to be honest in a relationship about yourself and everything you are.

I think it is a shitty thing to date someone for years who has made it clear they want to have kids only for you to be unable to do that, you know? Do you HAVE to tell your partner you cannot produce children? No, of course not... but I think it makes you a bad person not to.

spikethedevil posted...

Love how post 12 is still up >_>

It's true though, she's not a man at all so

Probably doesn't need to tell them regardless, dudes can probably tell.

My bad I misread it lol.

kriztofer posted...

Probably doesn't need to tell them regardless, dudes can probably tell.

lol some people overestimate their radar. They probably yell at cis women for going into the ladies bathroom.

Xavier_On_High posted...

Just to restate it, because it really can't be said enough:

You're not a bigot just because you don't want to have sex with trans people. You can have sex with whoever you want, for any reason, as long as it's consenting and legal. No one reasonable is actually contesting that.

But ALSO they absolutely do not have to tell you they're trans.

These two things aren't mutually exclusive.

They could potentially be a bigot, just like someone who would never date "black people". But yes mostly an agreeable post

PuppetPalClem posted...

I cannot imagine being so narcissistic to the point that I feel I am owed sex, let alone sex by deception. And then after exhausting those venues, sex by guilt trip.

We get it. You hate trans people. Gonna go shame depressed women for not sharing their trauma on the first date too? That could be a dealbreaker, so not sharing it immediately is deception!

Xavier_On_High posted...

Just to restate it, because it really can't be said enough:

You're not a bigot just because you don't want to have sex with trans people. You can have sex with whoever you want, for any reason, as long as it's consenting and legal. No one reasonable is actually contesting that.

But ALSO they absolutely do not have to tell you they're trans.

These two things aren't mutually exclusive.

So lets say you have a cross dressing man, a pre-op trans woman, and a post-op trans woman. All three have sex with a man without the man finding out. The man would not have consented to having sex with a man. The man would not have consented to having sex with a trans woman, pre-op or post-op. Would you consider any of these rape?

Nemu posted...

So lets say you have a cross dressing man, a pre-op trans woman, and a post-op trans woman. All three have sex with a man without the man finding out. The man would not have consented to having sex with a man. The man would not have consented to having sex with a trans woman, pre-op or post-op. Would you consider any of these rape?

This is the poorest attempt at a gotcha question I've seen in months