Current Events > So my wife is in the hospital with liver failure but..

(+) Yeah! (+)

gunplagirl posted...

You do realize liver failure would make vaginal and anal extremely painful, if not outright impossible, correct? And for that matter, depending on how she is day to day she couldn't even do oral.

Yeah I know but TC was saying it was a problem before she got sick

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JACKBUTTMOMMY posted...

Or that no one is entitled to sex, even married people.

That's why I said love is a two way street, and hey if you don't like that street you're free to take the exit. No one is entitled to stay in a marriage

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Once a wise old black lady told me: never do anything for a woman that they wouldn't do for you.

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"my wife is dying and i don't have enough sex with her help me CE :( "

fuck off

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JACKBUTTMOMMY posted...

Or that no one is entitled to sex, even married people.

Just a reminder that in parts of the Bible belt and the south, marital rape is virtually impossible from a legal standpoint. *Sigh* but then, many of those same areas allow first cousin marriage.

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Look there were massive problems beforehand that cant be solved. This is kinda the last straw in that at least I can save my money. I knew getting married had some drawbacks but this really sucks.
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haloiscoolisbak posted...

Sounds like an episode of curb your enthusiasm

This was the first thing I thought of.

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tripleh213 posted...

Look there were massive problems beforehand that cant be solved. This is kinda the last straw in that at least I can save my money. I knew getting married had some drawbacks but this really sucks.

"Sorry babe, I never really loved you and since you've not submitted sexually to me I have to divorce you. PS get well soon."

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gunplagirl posted...

"Sorry babe, I never really loved you and since you've not submitted sexually to me I have to divorce you. PS get well soon."

This is kind of the way I see it, too. I feel sorry for her. Hopefully she at least has family she can count on in her times of need.

kelemvor posted...

This is kind of the way I see it, too. I feel sorry for her. Hopefully she at least has family she can count on in her times of need.

And statistically speaking, if things were the other way around she'd probably stay and do right by him. Maybe even be one of those "I'll never remarry or love another" types.

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Theres never a good time to divorce OP, just do it

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There will always be many reasons for you not to divorce someone, especially in the viewpoint of the person you're trying to divorce. Of course the circumstances aren't good, but like you said, staying with her for the rest of your life is not an option.

Divorce her. People will be disgusted with you, but to hell with them. No external person has the right to judge your actions, especially if you've been wanting to divorce her for a while.

Go through with it and don't look back.

You can still file for divorce without leaving her high and dry. Not every divorce has to be War of the Roses.

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kelemvor posted...

No shit the sex is sparse with a women with liver failure...

My wife only puts out once every few months and she's totally healthy. After marriage (and especially kids) they just stop caring, I thought all husband's deal with that.

Umm no, not really. Sorry man.

As for the TC, in my opinion its not just your life when it comes to marriage. Marriage is a commitment, your lives are intertwined. Of course if your wife wasnt willing to put any effort into before, divorce would have been reasonable, but now that youre in this situation, bailing now would be pretty despicable.

My opinion though, Im pretty old-fashioned.

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TC - that is a shitty situation but asking for help on CE is pointless. Look at the complete lack of empathy or basic understanding in the responses. I was married for 16 years (together 20 total) and it got to where it sucked. I am so happy I got divorced. And people seem to be missing the critical point that you were unhappy before this happened.

So you made the money and did all the housework and cleaning? What the fuck did she even do?

At this point you need to somehow make sure she is cared for, but you have non obligation to stay married forever. Fix the short term issue best you can, and get out of there.

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Holy shit. My wife had liver failure jsut last week!
Don't wanna divorce her though. She's awesome and I love the strawberries outta her.

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My wife is going through tough medical problems, and she hasnt had a job in the 7 years since weve been married, her hormonal issues make sex impossible, and she sometimes cleans, never cooks, and rarely feels like participating in things. We cant travel because her sleep regiment of medication makes her want to stay home.

Yet I love her more than ever, but I have a belief that God will redeem the time and heal her. I find hope in my faith.

I feel for the TC, but marriage isnt just a contract, its a life long bond. Honestly, you sound like the bad link in the relationship. Man up, take care of your wife, be an example for people around you.

Or give up, go bang some random girls and be miserable in your latter years cause you could never fight for anything.

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puppy posted...

My wife is going through tough medical problems, and she hasnt had a job in the 7 years since weve been married, her hormonal issues make sex impossible, and she sometimes cleans, never cooks, and rarely feels like participating in things. We cant travel because her sleep regiment of medication makes her want to stay home.

Yet I love her more than ever, but I have a belief that God will redeem the time and heal her. I find hope in my faith.

I feel for the TC, but marriage isnt just a contract, its a life long bond. Honestly, you sound like the bad link in the relationship. Man up, take care of your wife, be an example for people around you.

Or give up, go bang some random girls and be miserable in your latter years cause you could never fight for anything.

This is great for you, but I don't think TC is the bad link.

BTW, I did give up on my marriage, banged a lot of girls, made a ton of friends, and now I have a very happy life. If a marriage sucks, then it should NOT be a life long bond. This is your life, so don't cut yourself short.

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I know you mentioned other major issues, but are chores and sex the biggest? Couples' therapy sounds like the way to go. If not, it'd be an amicable way to go out and the effort would help you feel more comfortable with it.

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shitty situation

Imo dont divorce while shes in the hospital. You dont have to love her but it sounds like right now she just needs help from someone

But yea divorce her once shes self sufficient

And wtf at everyone "just get used to never having sex and not liking your wife!"

If sex is important to tc, he has a right to seek a relationship that will make him happy. Thats not the same as saying his wife owes him sex, just that he deserves someone he is compatible with.
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g980 posted...

And wtf at everyone "just get used to never having sex and not liking your wife!"

1. Hardcore traditionalists
2. Incels who can't imagine breaking up with someone who actually likes you
3. Extreme feminists who only want to blame the man

In other words, most of CE

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Okay but how about discussing opening the marriage to meet your physical needs? :l

Oh wait, that's right. Monogamous folk be like-

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metallica846 posted...

Dont pay the medical bills. Get the divorce.

This, if your unhappy then just leave.

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metallica846 posted...

Dont pay the medical bills. Get the divorce.

If he's been paying the bills up til now, then when he divorces there's a good chance he'll have to continue doing so because she's unable to provide for herself while TC is clearly capable of doing so for both of them.

And rightfully so, such verdicts are made in the interest of both parties.

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whats the cause of the liver failure, has it been said in the thread?

kelemvor posted...

No shit the sex is sparse with a women with liver failure...

My wife only puts out once every few months and she's totally healthy. After marriage (and especially kids) they just stop caring, I thought all husband's deal with that.

I dunno mate my kids are respectively 9 and 10 yrs old and my wife and I still have sex about twice a week

gunplagirl posted...

If he's been paying the bills up til now, then when he divorces there's a good chance he'll have to continue doing so because she's unable to provide for herself while TC is clearly capable of doing so for both of them.

And rightfully so, such verdicts are made in the interest of both parties.

How exactly would such a verdict benefit him?

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I know people got their panties in a twist by this question but

xAzNPimP4LiFex posted...

So what exactly was the appeal of marrying her if you hate her this much?

Has TC answered this? What caused you to marry her in the first place?

Like, if you cant even somewhat stick around, that would mean you either hate her or she has no one that will help her.

Assuming she has no siblings, friends, or other family Would it be inconvenient to still divorce, but not outright vanish from her? You have no feelings for her at all that would influence you to still help?

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Op in sickness and in health. Come on man. How the ohillipines are the only country that makes you stay true to your
vows. If the rest of the world did that theyd think twice before geting marriedm

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cuttin_in_farm posted...

I know people got their panties in a twist by this question but

Has TC answered this? What caused you to marry her in the first place?

Like, if you cant even somewhat stick around, that would mean you either hate her or she has no one that will help her.

Assuming she has no siblings, friends, or other family Would it be inconvenient to still divorce, but not outright vanish from her? You have no feelings for her at all that would influence you to still help?

Feelings change... it's that simple

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bsp77 posted...

Feelings change... it's that simple

No, it isnt that simple. TC said she doesnt have sex. That cant be the only thing that would make you go from marrying someone to wanting to bail on them in the hospital.

Getting more context to this situation would help folks aid TC on what to do.

As it stands, TC not giving context makes him look silly since the only thing hes mentioned is that she didnt do housework, cook, or have sex. So Im questioning if these are things shes ever done. Because if not, that shouldnt be relevant to why he wants a divorce. As he married her knowing this.

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haloiscoolisbak posted...

Through sickness and illness til death do you part

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cuttin_in_farm posted...

No, it isnt that simple. TC said she doesnt have sex. That cant be the only thing that would make you go from marrying someone to wanting to bail on them in the hospital.

Getting more context to this situation would help folks aid TC on what to do.

As it stands, TC not giving context makes him look silly since the only thing hes mentioned is that she didnt do housework, cook, or have sex. So Im questioning if these are things shes ever done. Because if not, that shouldnt be relevant to why he wants a divorce. As he married her knowing this.

Feelings could change due to resentment that she does nothing to contribute to their household or their relationship. It can be that simple. And he might have known she didn't do certain things before marriage but stuff can become more and more annoying as time passes, especially if sex dwindles away (assuming they had more before).

There could be more we haven't been told, but I would buy the simplest explanation here. I have been married and I know how resentment builds. It sucks but it happens.

Also, fuck comments like this: "Through sickness and illness til death do you part". Sometimes divorce is necessary.

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Where's the AITA?

bsp77 finally admitting he knows all about resentment. Maybe now the healing can begin.


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Yikes, sounds like you should run

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gunplagirl posted...

bsp77 finally admitting he knows all about resentment. Maybe now the healing can begin.

Huh? What does that mean?

Regardless, I have healed. Been divorced 4 years and my ex wife and I get along quite well now. I am only saying I have experience on how this stuff happens. I was convinced I would never get divorced.

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If you were going to separate anyways I don't think that should change because she got sick. I would personally wait until she is out of the hospital and stable before I filed.

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SauI_Goodman posted...

Op in sickness and in health. Come on man. How the ohillipines are the only country that makes you stay true to your
vows. If the rest of the world did that theyd think twice before geting marriedm

In the Phillipines you can beat and rape your wife and it's pretty much illegal for her to leave. You want that for us?

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bsp77 posted...

And he might have known she didn't do certain things before marriage but stuff can become more and more annoying as time passes, especially if sex dwindles away (assuming they had more before).

This is fair.

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Spooking posted...

50% of all marriages end in divorce. Food for thought.

i believe the number is much lower when excluding people who got remarried?

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ROOTFayth posted...

whats the cause of the liver failure, has it been said in the thread?

She had a long history of eating the wrong foods which fucked up her liver

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cuttin_in_farm posted...

No, it isnt that simple. TC said she doesnt have sex. That cant be the only thing that would make you go from marrying someone to wanting to bail on them in the hospital.

Getting more context to this situation would help folks aid TC on what to do.

As it stands, TC not giving context makes him look silly since the only thing hes mentioned is that she didnt do housework, cook, or have sex. So Im questioning if these are things shes ever done. Because if not, that shouldnt be relevant to why he wants a divorce. As he married her knowing this.

Its been looming in the background even before she got sick. She used to put out and do chores long before we got married. We got married in 2016 and every year since it has got worse and worse.

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The amount of just bail comments is disheartening. I guess Im a rare breed of man, standing by my woman through bad times and good.

Vows arent vows anymore, they are just empty words.

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It is not a moronic mentality. Good work puppy, you're on the right side. <3

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