Current Events > So my wife is in the hospital with liver failure but..

(+) Yeah! (+)

Zikten posted...

I dont need a dating history to know what TC is doing is wrong. He can divorce her but wait til she is better or at least make sure someone is taking care of her before he abandons her. He sounds like he just wants to leave her to her doom and flee

Exactly. No dating history. I have been a social loser, then married, then had kids, then divorced, then a player who loved the chase, and now settled into a relationship that works. I know what I am talking about. I have enough experiences ro understand what others go through and not judge them.

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Zikten posted...

It's bad luck but he needs to make sure she is taken of now that she is possibly dying. You shouldn't just abandon someone to their demise

I also advocated not abandoning her. Make sure she is in good shape, has support and then file for divorce. But maybe this experience will bring them together?

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Actually tbf Zikten has more of a dating history than pure_temper does

tripleh213 posted...

So I should stick with her and waste my life away. Like fuck the bad times are now vastly outweighing the good. If I stay ill be working just to pay for her shit forever.

Can you elaborate a bit more on how the marriage was before she got sick?

Badmotorfinger posted...

Actually tbf Zikten has more of a dating history than pure_temper does

Okay, his response to me sounded otherwise

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I've had one girlfriend but it was in the 90s and we only dated a year

I meant I didn't think my history mattered. But yea. Technically I have dated
Briefly

bsp77 posted...

Okay, his response to me sounded otherwise

I mean it's still pretty much nonexistent but he had a friend in high school or whatever

Is TC for real?

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Sorry man.

Zikten posted...

I've had one girlfriend but it was in the 90s and we only dated a year

I meant I didn't think my history mattered. But yea. Technically I have dated
Briefly

I promise I am not trying to be a dick to you or Puppy or anyone. I have just been through the gamut of relationship stuff, from incel (before that existed) to player, from married to divorced, from bad relationships to good, to realize that this shit is complicated and not judge people.

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lorddrakath1522 posted...

tripleh213 posted...

So I should stick with her and waste my life away. Like fuck the bad times are now vastly outweighing the good. If I stay ill be working just to pay for her shit forever.

Can you elaborate a bit more on how the marriage was before she got sick?

We have been married 5 years and before we were married it was fun. Everyone was happy that's why I married her. Then it slowly dwindled and we became more distant. I work a lot of hours and she only works part time. Like I said before all she really does is sit there and maybe cooks like twice a week. She feels more like a roommate then anything.
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Does she have parents that can bear the burden? Just divorce, youre going to regret spending your relative youth on being a nurse maid for someone you dont care about.

tripleh213 posted...

Like she is going to bankrupt me

Oh fucking well. The truth is you made a commitment. Its a shame it didnt work out like you hoped. But you signed the papers. That was your choice.

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BeyondWalls posted...

Oh fucking well. The truth is you made a commitment. Its a shame it didnt work out like you hoped. But you signed the papers. That was your choice.

Anyone who thinks they must live with that choice the rest of their life is naive

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I definitely think talking about this with her loved ones is the correct call here.

Even if they get upset that you want to distance from the situation, it will prepare others to step up if needed, and give everyone a reason.

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Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

Is TC for real?

I dont think so. He keeps giving the same responses and baiting others to debate each other.

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cuttin_in_farm posted...

I definitely think talking about this with her loved ones is the correct call here.

Even if they get upset that you want to distance from the situation, it will prepare others to step up if needed, and give everyone a reason.

I'd be less against the situation if he did this.

If you has issues with her not doing household chores, you should have just went to marriage counseling

Marriage vows specifically, explicitly call out this situation. You knew this was a possibility when you said I do. You made a commitment to stick around in a situation like this. It doesn't sound like you were living in misery exactly beforehand, though it also doesn't sound like things are/were going well.

You do have the right and the ability to leave at any point, even while she's in the hospital. That appears to be what you want to do since you reasonably fear being financially ruined for a person you were on the road to divorcing anyway.

People will absolutely view you as a POS if you leave her under these circumstances. If you're going to do that, you have to be ready for that and you'll have to live with it, possibly forever. They'll say that you left someone you were supposed to love in their time of greatest need.

At the same time, only you have to actually live your life. The people who will trash you for it won't have to live it, even if they think they'd do something different or if they actually would. If sticking by her is too much for you to deal with, then you have the option to leave to preserve a life with at least some positive aspects.

It's up to you. My two cents is that the "morally right" thing to do is to stick with her and hope it works out.

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I think right now given the situation you cant distance yourself or just flat out leave her.

you made a commitment and while I agree divorce is usually way better than just sticking it out just to be miserable, this situation right now isnt about you. You obviously loved the woman enough to marry her. So I would at the very least supply some comfort to her during a time where she may very well fucking die.

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kelemvor posted...

My wife only puts out once every few months and she's totally healthy. After marriage (and especially kids) they just stop caring, I thought all husband's deal with that.

Thats not the norm my man

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ExtremeLuchador posted...

Most married couples are lucky to have sex once a month when you get past age 35. I'm late-30s and I've run into a ton of women my age or older who have a small or dead libido.

Oh they have sex, just not with eachother.

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As cold as it seems you need to do whats best for you. Just because you get divorced doesnt mean you have to cut her from your life completely.

It does look bad without the context but again you need to do what is best for you. That sounds harsh and I feel sorry for this woman but you shouldnt force yourself to stay in a toxic relationship because it looks bad.

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TC, i think you let resentment build for too long by the sounds of it. Did you ever talk about your issues with her? Sounds like sickness was everything coming to a head, but I feel if you try to divorce in the midst of this you will live to regret it if you still feel anything for that woman.

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I'll probably wait till she is stable at least
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tripleh213 posted...

I'll probably wait till she is stable at least

Yes, of course you should do that.

Fuck her. File for divorce.

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tripleh213 posted...

So I stay with her ruining my life until she dies. I know it sounds like I'm a dick but I'm not a caretaker. I have my own needs that are not getting met.

Jesus christ, I feel like you are me posting from the future. My fiancee is a fucking drunk and her liver can't hold out much longer.

If I were you, maybe wait until she at least gets out of the hospital or passes? Idk, I kinda hate my fiance too, but I feel like you owe it to her to at least see her through the worst of it or stay with her until she passes if it's going to be less than a year.

Maybe ask yourself, if the roles were reversed, would she leave you like that, and let that guide your decision?

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PoundGarden posted...

Jesus christ, I feel like you are me posting from the future. My fiancee is a fucking drunk and her liver can't hold out much longer.

If I were you, maybe wait until she at least gets out of the hospital or passes? Idk, I kinda hate my fiance too, but I feel like you owe it to her to at least see her through the worst of it or stay with her until she passes if it's going to be less than a year.

Maybe ask yourself, if the roles were reversed, would she leave you like that, and let that guide your decision?

You hate your fiance? Then end it

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bsp77 posted...

You hate your fiance? Then end it

He can't. He can't get anyone else to *bop* him. Humans truly are stupid. Imagine marrying someone you hate because you can't get any otherwise. No wonder we're killing our planet.

Thaumaturge posted...

He can't. He can't get anyone else to *bop* him. Humans truly are stupid. Imagine marrying someone you hate because you can't get any otherwise. No wonder we're killing our planet.

Single > shitty relationship

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I doubt TC would be willing to put "Abandoned my dying wife because I was unhappy" in his future dating profile.

There are times when doing the right thing as a human being will require some personal sacrifice.

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Shadow20201 posted...

I doubt TC would be willing to put "Abandoned my dying wife because I was unhappy" in his future dating profile.

There are times when doing the right thing as a human being will require some personal sacrifice.

Then he shouldn't put that in his profile. Just say "widower." You only get one life. Why waste it?

PtlessAgmnts posted...

iirc you said she had cancer like 3 months ago. Was this related?

Yeah, she got the first Pfizer shot and her liver went into shut down mode within the next few hours.

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DeadlyNinjaBees posted...

Yeah, she got the first Pfizer shot and her liver went into shut down mode within the next few hours.

Anri vaxers and going to jump on this.

Hope she pulls through both the cancer and liver failure, fuck cancer so damn hard.

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Until death do us part, or you get sick and stop putting out

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She was probably giving it up to someone else.

women seriously forget how easy it is to please a man and still dont. If you were going to file beforehand just do it. Its your life. Fight her attempts at alimony.

XxKrebsxX posted...

women seriously forget how easy it is to please a man and still dont.

Holy Incel, Batman!

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Yea Ill probaly wait till she leaves the hospital first

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Definitely do that - you don't take me as a sociopath ,so don't shit that will keep you up at night. Just do right by her, and do what you have to after.

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PtlessAgmnts posted...

Damn man... how serious was it? How long did she have to be in the hospital or she still in there?

Only a couple of nights. Took her off the cancer meds and her liver was able to get back to normal within like three days. Still not back on them yet. Probably get a call tomorrow giving her the all clear.

She just won't stay in the hospital longer than she has to.

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XxKrebsxX posted...

She was probably giving it up to someone else.

women seriously forget how easy it is to please a man and still dont. If you were going to file beforehand just do it. Its your life. Fight her attempts at alimony.

Payin' that alimony, bruss?

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