Board 8 > Gauntlet Crew Ranks LGBT Movies: Spooky Halloween Edition

(+) Yeah! (+)

Tonight is Halloween, and what better way to celebrate the spooky season than with... *checks notes*... the gays?

Wait, no, that's not right.

Tonight is the last night of LGBT History Month, and what better way to celebrate than with a celebration of almost 70 years of LGBT films!

Over the last few months, your 9 rankers have watched, ranked and written about 40 films of a variety of genres; the popular romcoms and romantic dramas have been mixed in with thrillers, biopics, documentaries, and more, all with the common thread of their focus on everything LGBT. Some tackle tough real-life issues that the community faces, some explore a character's sexuality or identity as they discover it, and some just laugh along with a gay character embracing life one way or another. We've got Oscar winners and cult favorites and everything in between, so feel free to chime in or silently follow along as we explore what the subgenre has to offer.

And Happy Halloween!

Your Rankers
Charon
Gen
Inviso
Johnbobb
JONA
KBM
Metalmind
PrinceKaro
Snake

Your Movies
A Single Man
Another Gay Movie
Black Swan
Blue is the Warmest Color
Bound
Boy Erased
Boys Don't Cry
Brokeback Mountain
Bruno
But I'm a Cheerleader
Call Me By Your Name
Chasing Amy
Dallas Buyers Club
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
Glen or Glenda
Heavenly Creatures
I Love You Philip Morris
Ma Vie En Rose
Midnight Cowboy
Milk
Monster
Moonlight
Mulholland Drive
My Beautiful Laundrette
Pariah
Paris is Burning
Patrik, Age 1.5
Philadelphia
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Tangerine
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
The Birdcage
The Boys in the Band
The Crying Game
The Half of It
The Hours
The Imitation Game
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Thelma
Tomboy

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LGBTag

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Yesssss tag

tag

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Point Totals

64
95
98
105
110
111
113
122
129
137
149
150
150
150
158
158
163
163
167
171
174
180
181
191
196
208
208
212
212
214
214
221
231
239
256
291
307
308
317
357

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Yay
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Not even close on last OR first place here. Wow.
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worst possible score to get is 360

and we have a 357

lol

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Also last place got 357/360 total possible points. Gee... wonder what it is.
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PrinceKaro posted...

worst possible score to get is 360

and we have a 357

lol

Wow I bet whoever ranked it at 37th is gonna feel like a real putz. ',:)
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I was 100% certain, before the numbers came out, that the last place ranking would either be my #40 or my #36 (as I said in the Discord chat).

Now that it's statistically impossible for it to be my #36... well, let's just say I'm very excited for these write-ups. They should be more entertaining than the movie was.

40. Another Gay Movie

Gen - 37
Charon - 40
Inviso - 40
Johnbobb - 40
JONA - 40
KBM - 40
Metalmind - 40
PrinceKaro - 40
Snake - 40

Gen
Of all the parody films on this list, and thankfully it was only a few, I found Another Gay Movie to be the most offensive by just a hair. That said I had a couple laughs at it, but at most times this was difficult to sit through. To think I could've gone my whole life without seeing Richard Hatch uncensored...

Charon
Imagine that someone decided to make a full length film based on the last 5 minutes of Sausage Party. Now be surprised when I tell you that someone already did that, and called it this movie. I know these "Another" sort of movies are meant to be over-the-top parodies of certain types of people but it feels a bit more offensive and tasteless when that group of people are a minority like this. Making fun of teens in general is one thing, but to have an entire movie featuring the unreal exploits of gay teens felt a little crass to me. There's just nothing funny or good about this movie. The jokes are in poor taste, all the characters are stereotypes and every plot point is predictable. There's so much gross-out and unnecessary shit in here (literally, at one point). I'm not sure who thought it would be cute to cast the Survivor winner guy and show his dick but that hasn't aged well, if it ever could have been referred to positively in the first place I guess. Just a disgusting mess with nothing to offer anyone; the lowest form of entertainment imaginable.

Inviso
A parody movie is one thing. Theyre bad, but I can usually derive SOME laughter from them. This is like the gay porn parody of American Pie, failing at comedy on every level. Every aspect of American Pies boner comedy nature is turned into a blatant, gross sex joke, complete with scat, watersports, cream piesits juvenile and disgusting. It also doesnt help that likethis premise does not WORK as a gay movie. You have four gay guys saying lets make a pact that we all get laid by Labor Dayand the immediate solution is not Wait a secondwhy dont we just fuck each other? It takes the WHOLE movie for two of the four main characters to realize this. Its stupid. The characters are stupid. And they manage to overexaggerate the dumbest aspects of American Pie in an unwatchable fashion. Also, this movieI cant believe Richard Hatch would degrade himself this way. I mean, I CAN, but Im not happy about it.

Johnbobb
Why I Chose It
Another Gay Movie was supposed to be the gay answer to American Pie. With the wild success of that franchise after just some raunchy humor and sexual content, sure there had to be an audience for the same thing in the gay community. As it turns out: kind of? It wasn't a major success, but it did make a profit, managed mixed reviews, and got a sequel 2 years later cleverly titled Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild!, somehow even managing to rope in gay icons Perez Hilton and RuPaul.

What I Think
I watched this on Netflix on a whim years back and remember thinking it was kinda funny. I do not think that anymore.

JONA
I assume this is a parody of movies like American Pie. Never saw any of those movies because they always seemed like trash. I assumed the movie was on the same level as stuff like Date Movie or Epic Movie. Never saw any of those movies because they always seemed like trash. While the movie is probably not as bad as those, its still dreadful with an excuse of a plot just to throw a ton of unfunny sex jokes.

KBM
This was just horrible. Like, almost unwatchably cringe. I've never seen American Pie, but I've seen this described as the gay American Pie, and if that's true, then I'm
pretty sure I never want to see it. I'm definitely no prude, but the over-the-top gross-out humor in this movie was just too much for me. I'm pretty sure I chuckled once,
maybe twice I want to say it was a couple of the dad's lines that got me but I'll be damned if I could remember the specifics, as the memory of so many painful
moments overwhelms anything good. And what was with the racist Asian cheerleader caricature towards the beginning? Was Todd Stephens actively trying to cram
everything bad about modern spoof movies into one package? Whether he was or not, he certainly succeeded. This one pissed me off like no movie has in a good long
while.

Metal
Earnestly, this is in fact a movie that deserved to be made, as the obvious antidote to the likes of American Pie, Theres Something About Mary, and their many copycats. Unfortunately, that's basically the only good thing I can say about this over-the-top, yet surprisingly toothless parody that relies on its premise twist for the intended shock factor. Alongside its conventionality, that makes it feel less like a gay movie and more like a vehicle for straight gawking. In tune with this misguided approach, nearly every aspect is utterly cringeworthy, from its humor through its scripting to its performances.

Karo
So this piece of dreck is like a gay parody of American Pie where a bunch of LGBT stereotypes talk about sex for an hour and a half as they all attempt to lose their 'butt virginity' before the end of summer. There is no redeeming feature of this movie, the plot is nonsensical, the characters are annoying and stupid, and most of the jokes are not only unfunny, but outright disgusting. I'm sorry if I don't find the humor in someone having an exaggerated 5 minute bout of explosive diarrhea or a teen daydreaming about being raped by his teacher. Worse, the film actively reinforces negative perceptions of the gay community as being made up of pedophiles and sex-obsessed degenerates. Even if it is meant to be satire, the average person probably didn't see it as that and it certainly did little to help the cause of equal rights. There is absolutely no reason to ever watch this unless you are someone who really wants to see the naked penis of Richard Hatch, and it scares me that is probably an actual demographic.

Score: 4/100

Snake
Obnoxiously unfunny, this feels like a movie by a Youtuber at the worst of times, desperate for a laugh at any moment, with cheap sets & offensively bad performances & characters. I don't think I laughed a single time in its entire runtime. I mean what else can really say about it, it's so uninspired and poorly made that it was basically made to be ignored.

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Outlier Ranking
Gen - 3
Charon - 0
Inviso - 0
Johnbobb - 0
JONA - 0
KBM - 0
Metalmind - 0
PrinceKaro - 0
Snake - 0

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I think Trolls was still worse

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Snake5555555555 posted...

I think Trolls was still worse

I would take both this and Trolls over Demonic Toys or the bottom 3 of the movies based on animated shows

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Count me in the Another Gay Movie > Demonic Toys club, though we're talking about a pretty similar level of putridity there. I'm especially glad AGM was first to drop since it's the only movie on this list I wouldn't hesitate to call bad.

Also, tag!

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Okay yeah Demonic Toys is worse too

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39. Glen or Glenda
Total score: 317

Inviso - 26
Snake - 30
Metal - 34
KBM - 36
Charon - 37
Johnbobb - 37
Gen - 39
JONA - 39
Karo - 39

Inviso
Imnot sure how to feel about this movie. On the one hand, its not GREAT and has a lot of flaws that we saw in the musical ranking, particularly during the 1950s era. The movie is only seventy minutes, yet theres a lengthy acid trip in which Glen/Glenda starts envisioning the devil and various rape/seduction scenarios, and its just weird and bizarre, and it comes across as undermining the sincerity that the rest of the movie displays. And then, because theres not enough content to fill a feature film, theres a lesser segment at the end about a hermaphrodite
who undergoes a sex changecomplete with lengthy stock footage of school life, military training, and war.
So yeah, its not great. Its sloppy, and even when its doing a decent job in the first half, its boring. Its treated less like a movie and more like a documentary. HOWEVER, given that this was a film from the 1950s, the fact that they made the character SO sympathetic is astounding to me. I mean, granted, its because Ed Wood was allegedly (or is it confirmed?) a transvestite himself, but I just appreciate seeing a film trying to explain transvestitism and trans people without demonizing them as being freaks. Everything is clinical and the characters largely act like people should just be allowed to live their lives without judgement from society. Its an interesting take, and it made me feel comfortable watching it. Im sure theres gonna be harsher attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community moving forward in this list, so starting out soft was nice, to say the least.

Snake
A weird pseudo-self biography documentary with an, I assume, unintentional horror tone due to the presence of Bela Lugosi in a creepy laboratory. It may be the best movie Ed Wood ever made though. It's not a high bar but it feels ahead of its time and progressive in an impressive manner. However, it's still a movie full of strange shots and droning, tedious dialogue that don't really make it the most interesting watch either. I dunno, I guess a movie that makes me feel this ambiguous has to be worth something, right?

Metal
Its fittingly a film of dualities: simultaneously shockingly progressive and utterly regressive, thuddingly typical and remarkably innovative, painfully amateurish and hypnotically compelling. That naturally left me with a split opinion on the movie as a whole, which was a fair shot better than I expected. (version watched: 1982)

KBM
I honestly feel bad putting Glen or Glenda this low. Its heart is in the right place. Its message is ahead of its time. It's genuinely entertaining (even if it's probably not in the ways it was intended to be), and it's quotable as all hell. But it's also wildly incompetent, to the point that it can barely even be called a movie. For as many times as I've watched this, and enjoyed myself doing so for as many time as I've gleefully shouted Pull the string!, applauded the random buffalo stampede, or authoritatively explained that wearing hats is why men go bald, this just really is not a good movie by any reasonable measure. There's no structure, the acting is laughably bad, and even by its own standards it completely loses focus in the last quarter, first with the weird striptease dream sequence and then again with the contractually-obligated story about a woman who got gender confirmation surgery. Honestly, it's one I don't feel bad recommending people watch, if only for a laugh, and I'm tickled by its inclusion on this list. But I really can't list it any higher than this and even this high is a stretch.

Charon
Truly a product of its time, this offensive bit of history is strangely how acceptance and cultural understanding used to look in the not so distant past. While Bela Lugosi is hilarious in his role as narrator and goes overboard with is dramatization, that's really the only good thing I can take away from this. The heavy-handed psychological nonsense about homosexuality and crossdressing is maddening and while a lot of these films cover the same topics, they never let you believe the characters telling you this malarky are the "good guys". Here, that happens and it isn't very tasteful. There's nothing about this film that's aged well, and if not for the comical approach Legosi had to his role, nothing but truly uncomfortable squirming could be had from watching this thing.

Johnbobb
Why I Chose It
Glen or Glenda is iconic for a variety of reasons. It was perhaps the first mainstream movie to tackle a transgender character. It's also considered one of the worst films ever made and was plagued by infamous production issues which were portayed in the much more positively received Ed Wood, the film about director Ed Wood's career. Now it's one of the biggest cult films of its time.

What I Think
In the hands of a better filmmaker, this inconsistent narrative could've been a work of genius. Instead, it's an incoherent mess. Some of it is boring and some if it is so nonsensical it's hilarious. Some of it is way ahead of its time and some of it is pretty damn offensive. It's really just a weird thing that feels like it shouldn't exist, all in about an hour.

Gen
You might think this is simply a case of a movie that hasn't aged well, but Glen or Glenda is more than just a product of a bygone era: it's laughably offensive by not only today's standards, but apparently wasn't received well upon it's release. I just don't know where the director was going with this theme, because if the film was intended to increase public awareness about a misunderstood subject viewed as a taboo act then why frame your film primarily about said act like a literal monster B-movie complete with non sequiturs narrated by Bela Lugosi? If this were intended to offer explanations as to why an otherwise normal man by societal standards would engage in transvestism as a call for understanding and acceptance then why treat it like it's a sin that needs to be forgiven? The message is so jumbled that it doesn't appeal to either side, and to top it off it's damned boring.

JONA
Im glad I didnt have to put this in last because its kind of amazing in how bad it was.

Karo
So this is like some pseudo documentary about gender identity from the olden days that is narrated by Count Dracula and filled with cringey and often confusing depictions of what I guess passed for 'woke' in the 1950s. The story is framed around a cop who is consulting a psychiatrist regarding the suicide of a trans person, and we learn fascinating things such as how gender dysphoria is caused by not being loved enough as a child and that people who want a sex change are all hermaphrodites. Arrrrrrrrg!
It may be hard to believe that a movie that spends most of its runtime arguing for the acceptance of crossdressers and transsexuals would be so absurdly homophobic as this one but that is sadly the case. On multiple occasions the characters emphatically state that Glen is not one of THOSE people, who according to the film slink around in the shadows dressing like girls to lure men to their doom. Sigh.
It is old, stupid, and just about as bad as it looks. Its heart is almost in the right place but its got its spleen where its brain should be and several other vital organs are lost on a camel caravan to Timbuktu.

Score: 12/100

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Outlier Ranking
Inviso - 13
Snake - 9
Metalmind - 5
Gen - 3
KBM - 3
Charon - 2
Johnbobb - 2
JONA - 0
PrinceKaro - 0

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I dozed off twice during Glen or Glenda, just for the record. That's... almost impressive considering it's a fraction of the length of some of the other films on this very list. It's equally offensive and boring, but also a jumbled mess.
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hmm

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I would like to recommend the LGBT horror movie Spiral. It's actually pretty awesome.

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Yeah, that Glen or Glenda ranking is about what I expected, though I oddly feel like it deserved a higher position my own list - I guess that's a testament to my thoughts on this project as a whole. Now I wonder if my opinions will keep being roughly in line with Snake and Vis for any amount of time.

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I think these two bottom films were the most offensive films on the list, from like a depiction of LGBT culture standpoint. One film is overly stereotypical and portrays gays in a light that yes indeed they're all sex-crazed deviants, not to mention older males are groomers. The other film portrays gays as freaks and social outcasts whilst trying to paint the picture that people who crossdress just didn't get enough attention when they were growing up from mommy. Honestly, I think Glen and Glenda is more offensive than Another Gay Movie by just a hair in terms of how it actually presents gays because while it is tasteless and I still ranked it last on its merits as a bad film otherwise, AGM at least doesn't feel as if it were made by bigots. It's more likely it was made by juveniles than that I think. Glen and Glenda actually presents this "homosexuals are bad" vibe to it.

Oh and no one mentioned the scene where they show the "savages" from Africa and speak of them if they're primal beings or animals? Where the guy wears the tribal adornments and does the dancing? I almost forgot that happened. Even in this LGBT project they snuck in a little racism, how cute.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I would like to recommend the LGBT horror movie Spiral. It's actually pretty awesome.

oh there's ANOTHER horror movie called Spiral?

because that's also the name of the next Saw film

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Johnbobb posted...

oh there's ANOTHER horror movie called Spiral?

because that's also the name of the next Saw film

Yeah, it's an indie film. It's about a gay couple that moves into a new neighborhood with their daughter, and the one father has a lot of trauma from past bigotry he has been a victim of while his partner thinks he's overreacting about it and seeing things that aren't there.

It's a really strong movie and does a great job with LGBT representation. It's on Shudder and I've been rating all of the horror movies I've watched this month and I gave it 9/10!

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38. Sunday Bloody Sunday
Total: 308

Snake - 28
Charon - 31
Gen - 31
Karo - 33
JONA - 36
Metal - 36
KBM - 37
Inviso - 38
Johnbobb - 38

Snake
A much different movie from Schlesinger's Midnight Cowboy, and one I enjoyed signifigantly less. It's certainly not a bad film by any stretch, in fact the directing and camera work may even be better, but I find the characters and performances far less interesting & engaging here which makes the film feel just a little too long in my eyes. However, the film's free-wheeling approach to bisexuality must be applauded especially in the way character's treat it. Going chronologically, it's feels like the first film on the list where it feels fully realized and not limited to self-deprecation & subtle hints.

Charon
At one time I deemed this the most boring film I had watched for a project but others managed to quickly replace it and after some time, I gradually shifted this one up just a bit from where it was earlier in the my rankings. Though I still attest to this film being way too much like a soap opera than a movie, as the 'critical' points in the movie don't add up to much more than common, every day events (besides the dog, I guess). I really thought Bob's character was an entitled, self-centered jerk and didn't care for him using the other two characters for his own needs. But at the same time, both of them were stupid for allowing it to take place so it's hard to feel bad for them. I don't know; a lot of films in this area of my list I would classify as boring and this is just one of many to me.

Gen
Sunday Bloody Sunday has flashes of brilliance through its competent acting, but it's too slow paced to appease me personally. Despite having watched the entire film I couldn't grasp the purpose of the children or why Alex essentially became their live-in babysitter when that has nothing to do with her job. Still the unseen dynamic between her and the doctor essentially fighting over a man neither can truly say claim to is an interesting one. I expected their attempts to undercut each other to culminate in some amazing conflict when they finally came together, but that peaceful resolution sure was exciting to watch instead.

Karo
So this is a slice of life about a love triangle between a sarcastic british doctor and several people who should not be allowed to be babysitters.
It is quite funny in places but also very boring in an equal amount. It's something that needed a little more seasoning to actually be a good movie, but didnt actually get it. Instead it is just more dull musty old rubbish.

Score: 42/100

JONA
While the premise of the movie was interesting and it wasnt particularly bad, it never really hooked me and I just found it boring.

Metal
Outstanding for its propensity to go nowhere fast, spinning in circles that ultimately amount to nothing, much like its characters' relationships. Again like its subjects and their lives, it proves filled with distancing, indecipherable cacophony, from the repeated motifs of disruptive phone calls and unruly gatherings to the blank sketches that double as characters. Still, I think it would be a stretch to truly call it bad so much as blame it on me for being in a bad manner the night I watched it and so barely able to collect let alone appreciate what it does well - its historicity, for example.

KBM
I can absolutely appreciate Sunday Bloody Sunday for its quiet subversiveness in
portraying reasonably normal, well-adjusted queer people just sort of living their lives,
especially considering that it came out in the early '70s. But egad, is this thing dull. I
kept waiting for something to happen, and nothing really ever did happen. At one
point it SEEMED like something was happening, when a dog gets run over and the
kid who inadvertently caused it starts making some disturbing drawings. Oh,
interesting, I thought, is this kid gonna start to say or do some disturbing shit? But
no, the kid barely even shows up again after that point, and we return to the regular
boring slice-of-life drama. I can't in good conscience call this a bad movie, as it
features some terrific performances from Peter Finch, Glenda Jackson, and Murray
Head in a rare movie role. But... yeah, there's just no interesting story here at all, and
I found myself just waiting for it to be over after awhile. Maybe if John Schlesinger had
applied the slightly heavier stylistic hand that he applied to Midnight Cowboy, I would
have enjoyed this more, but as it stands, this one just isn't for me.

Inviso
After looking this up on Wikipedia, it turns out the same director made this as made Midnight
Cowboy. Quel Surprise. This was really boring. It was just a slice-of-life story about a pair of
unfortunate main characters both lusting after the same unlikable and vapid love interest.
Likeits literally just watching two people deal with midlife crises, and the only reason the
story is allegedly interesting enough to be told is that one is a gay, Jewish doctor, and the other is
an uptight woman, and both are sleeping with some flighty artist. Thats it. There are randomly
scenes, like a druggie stealing the Doctors bag, or the woman letting a child shes babysitting
run across a street, resulting in the family dog getting hit by a truck. Its stupid mundanity, and I
hate that I had to sit through it.

Johnbobb
Why I Chose It
The immediate followup to one of the most influential early LGBT films Midnight Cowboy, Sunday Bloody Sunday had big shoes to fill, and it was fairly successful in doing so. It was nominated for 4 Oscars and 8 BAFTAS (winning 5, including Best Film). In particular, it was praised in the LGBT community for portraying its main homosexual man as both open and successful, a big departure from Voight's character in Midnight Cowboy.

What I Thought
This movie is boring as all hell, the characters are bland and flat, and Bob is such an irredeemable asshole throughout the entire film that it's difficult to ever truly sympathize with the two people so madly in love with him. It's important to know that most bisexuals are not boring assholes like this guy.

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Outlier Ranking
Snake - 19
Inviso - 13
Gen - 10
Charon - 9
Metalmind - 7
PrinceKaro - 5
KBM - 4
Johnbobb - 2
JONA - 2

Quite a big of shuffling here, most notably a big gap for Snake and a score of 0 for Vis allows Snake to jump up to 1st


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Not an LGBT movie but also Schlesinger, what did you guys think of Marathon Man? I liked it fine.

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Never seen it personally.

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Snake5555555555 posted...

Never seen it personally.

Also never seen it

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Damn, this is a great project. Here's hoping Blue Is The Warmest Color gets to the top 10 at least

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I am not even ashamed to say I enjoyed Another Gay Movie.

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And if Paris is Burning isn't #1 I declare this list invalid tbqh

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37. Bruno
Total Score: 307

Charon: 24
Karo: 30
Inviso: 30
KBM: 35
Gen: 36
Metal: 37
JONA: 37
Johnbobb: 39
Snake: 39

Charon
While this film is crass and the humor often misses, I have a lot of respect for Cohen filming this the way it was filmed. I guess it isn't Borat or anything but I liked seeing the "actual" reactions from regular people to the over-the-top homosexual he was masquerading as. It adds an element of something unique to a project that was sometimes too littered with certain genres of films. Reading about this film is actually better than watching though, I suppose. All the different scenarios being "real" and only the Harrison Ford bit being staged was pretty interesting as I didn't really know it was that type of film beforehand.

Karo
A very hit-and-miss outing from character comedian Sacha Baron Cohen featuring his flamboyant european
fashonista, Bruno.
Cohen is at his best when he basically gives his victims rope to hang themselves with their own stupidity and
bigotry, but with only a few exceptions this is not the case with this film. Far too many of the skits are just wow hey
Bruno is really really really gay and it makes everyone uncomfortable hahaha so funny but not really. I don't think
the LGBT community really needs to be the butt of any more jokes, particularly ones that only serve to reenforce
stereotypes in the minds of inbred bigots.
It did have a few standout segments with the mexican chair people and terrible child actor parents, but this movie is
not really what you would call 'verrry niiiice'.

Score: 54/100

Inviso
Im aware of Sacha Baron Cohens whole shtick, what with Borat and now Brunobut it just
fucking ASTOUNDS me that any person would be SO shameless as to pull the shit he pulls in
this movie. Its hilarious at times, but its also SO fucking cringeworthy that I justI had to
look away from the screen a bunch of times. Theres just a certain point where you feel such
intense, second-hand embarrassment that you just cant look past that. Its still amazing that a
film like this exists though, with gay bondage rocking up on the Westboro Baptist Church,
telling an audience of black people that your adopted child has the very African name of O.J.,
and just generally having a gay makeout session in the middle of an MMA ring, surrounded by
rabid fans. Its insane. Its insane that this exists and while it was certainly fascinating, it just
was too difficult to watch for me to rank it any higher than this.

KBM
I laughed more than I expected to, which is kind of a victory. This is the first of these
undercover Sacha Baron Cohen movies I've actually seen, and I was definitely
expecting him to punch down more, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that, for the
most part, the butt of the joke was not the Brno character or gay people in general,
but more the clueless celebrities and homophobes he found himself around over the
course of the movie. And yes, there are a few genuinely hilarious scenes: the focus
group for his fake TV pilot and the cage fight at the end are particular standouts. But
for every great scene, there's something that just makes you cringe wayyy too hard
for comfort, like the over-the-top, unfunny sex scenes, or the subplot with the Black
baby he adopts, or even the whole Brno-goes-to-the-Middle-East section where
you just have to wonder at the fact that Cohen has somehow managed to avoid
getting killed.

Gen
The only reason I put Brno this high is because I have a bit of respect as to how it was made. The raw, unsolicited reactions of the unsuspecting public would almost be enough to justify this film's existence if only any of it was actually funny. In fact the only time I had a real belly laugh was ironically the one scene that was completely staged: Harrison Ford's "interview". For almost the entire duration of the movie I mostly just felt bad for the people involved (aside from the gay protest participants and the fist fighting audience). I guess you've gotta at least give some credit to the balls it takes to make something that's going to offend everyone equally and spare no one in the process.

Metal
Meh is the key word to describe this repetitive and unfocused would-be satire that loses smething in its eagerness to be an equal-opportunity offender. Its script seems to view audacity as an automatic virtue, often carrying forth bits solely because it can, much like a stereotypical teenagers relationship to swear words. It also has a bad habit of drilling its points into the ground. That all means it doesnt really work as a vehicle for situational, moment-to-moment humor nor as an effort to expose and skewer its subjects. On the plus side, at least it isnt completely unfunny, with the boot camp sequence in particular making me laugh quite a few times.

JONA
Another movie based on a character from Da Mustafa Ali Shorty G Big Show starring Sasha Baron
Corbin. I liked Borat back when it came out in 2006 but I feel like I would change my opinion if I
rewatched it now because this did nothing for me. It probably helped that Borat was a more likable
character to me though. The shock humor here didnt really end up shocking me and there were only a
handful of times that were entertaining.

Johnbobb
Why I Chose It
The followup to the wildly successful Borat was guaranteed to have all eyes on it. 3 years after that film's release and people were still saying "my wife" on the regular, and at the time, it was anyone's guess if Bruno, which I recall being casually dubbed as "Gay European Borat" back in 2009, would live up to that hype. It certainly got the attention, gathering disdain from the MPAA, GLAAD and the entire Ukraine.

What I Thought
For the most part, this movie is terrible. Not "so bad it's good" terrible, but just an unfunny drag that tries to capture the offensive comedy that made Borat so successful, but forgets to include the comedy. It feels like Sacha Baron Cohen never really felt the need to flesh out the character of Bruno. He's gay and he's Austrian and that's literally it. And he's gay in that shitty early 2000s way where being gay means that you're attracted to every single man alive. I was fully ready to write this movie off as complete trash, but I WILL admit it did manage to make me laugh in the last half hour once it started throwing its punches toward the ridiculousness of anti-gay culture, with homophobic crowds nearly in tears upon seeing Bruno getting back with his ex-boyfriend in an MMA fight and hunters just awkwardly uncomfortable with being talked to about Sex and the City. I even chortled a bit when Bruno looks at a man in a swingers party to tell him "You're doing a great job." But a comedy that's 95% unfunny still isn't worth much.

Snake
I've never been that into Sacha Baron Cohen's stuff. Call it over-exposure back in the day, or just plain unfunniness, but his characters are the purest definition of random I can think of, like a real life embodiment of Family Guy. For every decent joke that's spouted out here there's about 10 or so horrible or awkward jokes that serve as an all-too-real reminder that there's just a plain ol' shtick here and it ain't a very good one.

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Outlier Ranking
Charon - 22
Snake - 21
Inviso - 20
PrinceKaro - 12
Gen - 11
Metalmind - 7
KBM - 6
Johnbobb - 4
JONA - 2

not much movement except a big leap to first for Charon

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I enjoy how we all basically had different opinions about the actually funny parts of Bruno, regardless of our broad agreement about the movie as a whole.

Also, as someone who has a distinctly low tolerance for cringe humor, and despite the movie's best efforts, I can't say Bruno got much of a reaction out of me. I blame that on how its humor was mostly unfunny on paper let alone on screen, in direct contrast to two yet-to-be-ranked movies that I had a difficult time sitting through.

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36. My Beautiful Laundrette
Total score: 291

JONA: 22
Metal: 23
Johnbobb: 32
Karo: 32
Inviso: 33
KBM: 34
Snake: 37
Charon: 38
Gen: 40

JONA
Dang British people and their different words for things. Laundrette sounds like if my used clothes
became a waifu. I liked the drama of the Ali Clan and the street gang and the relationship between Omar
and Johnny was also nice. The difference in backgrounds of the two lovers helped make the movie stand
out.

Metal
Not necessarily all its cracked up to be, I found the movie that established Stephen Frears career quite a confusingly pitched and questionably edited affair in the early get-go, and its plot subtleties stayed quite largely elusive to me the whole way through. Given all that, I thought its back half in particular was surprisingly effective as an unnerving drama in the social realist British tradition of the time. It also helped that Omar, the piercingly ambitious Pakistani who wishes to live a self-directed life, and who is also gay, was a distinctly magnetic protagonist throughout on the back of Gordon Warnette's performance. Fun fact with no relevance to anything that nonetheless stuck out to me in the credits: Hans Zimmer - yes, that Hans Zimmer - was a music producer here.

Johnbobb
Why I Chose It
The importance of this movie to the history of LGBT film in undeniable, featuring an on-screen interracial gay couple as early as the mid-80s, delving as much into the class and racial struggles between the English and Pakistani communities as it does the struggles of the LGBT community.

What I Thought
This is one of the bigger disappointments on the list, partially because I'd heard good things about it over the years and partially because I've always loved Daniel Day-Lewis as an actor. He was fine, but this certainly wasn't the height of his skill by any stretch. I also watched this film last, and after watching 40 LGBT movies, this just wasn't really able to compare, lacking the emotional or dramatic impact of many others.

Karo
So this immigrant with a passion for laundromats ends up with the pakistani mob or something and there as a lot of
dick waving that miraculously ends without anyone having their throat cut.
To its credit it does have an actual story even if it isnt super interesting and I could actually watch it all the way
through without falling asleep so I guess that is something.
Score: 43/100

Inviso
I just dont know what to say about this one. Its taken me two days to get off my ass and
actually write about it. It feels like there was a good story in this movie, but it got bogged down
because there were SEVERAL good stories, and none of them were really given proper time to
build and play out in focus. The central story, from what I can tell, is that of growing up and
taking responsibility over time. The intro gives us the primary white, male character of the
movie, hoofing it out of an apartment when the landlord comes to evict his crew. By the end of
the movie, hes accepted a job at least and become a bit more respectable, even if it all seems to
have been for naught. Meanwhile, the Indian (Pakistani? I cant really tell if Paki was meant
to be a slur against South Asians, or a genuine description of his origins) lead is trying to become
a businessman and is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that goal. He inherits and fixes
up the titular launderette, but things go awry.

KBM
This is such a weird movie. Honestly, for the first 40 minutes or so, I could barely
even follow what was happening. The story is told in such an awkward, disjointed
fashion that I felt like I was somehow missing scenes it was simultaneously like
sitting through endless exposition, but not getting anything explained. Once the titular
laundrette finally opens, however, things do get a little more focused, if no less
strange. I found Gordon Warnecke's performance in the lead role a bit awkward and
amateurish for the most part, but he definitely steps it up in his scenes with Daniel
Day Lewis, with whom he has some great chemistry. I also liked Saeed Jaffrey as
Omar's hyper-capitalist uncle; definitely an actor with some tangible on-screen
charisma. So, yeah, to a certain extent, I appreciate this movie's quirky originality, but
I just could never quite get a handle on what it was trying to say with it all. I
understand there are plans to adapt it into a TV miniseries starring Kumail Nanjiani,
and I think that's a really interesting idea and might help to expand on the good, but
underdeveloped, ideas here.

Snake
A mostly meh, slow-paced film salvaged by Daniel Day Lewis and for being super ahead of its time, not only showing an on screen kiss between two men but having it be with a Pakistani character is even more incredible! I could see this riling some feathers back in the day. Otherwise, there's some generic punks & an uncompelling story that adds up to a whole lot of been there done that blahness.

Charon
Part of me wants to chalk up my dislike of this film to some type of cultural disconnect, but really even if I take that into account I find this movie to be objectively flawed. A big issue I have is the way the film continuously introduces new characters and new subplots, and continues to do so even near the end of the film, and leaves a lot of it completely unresolved. Storytelling like this makes it hard to really connect or care about any of the characters involved because you never really get to know many of them. The ones you do get to know, the main two or three characters, don't really have a lot in the way of charm. Omar is not a very likable protagonist and I never really get a good read on the type of person he is. They do very little with Johnny's past and just sort of expect you to put the pieces together yourself. His "former" friends go from seemingly help repair the laundrette to ruining it on purpose; it's really obtuse to me. But really, it's the cast of characters that bewilders me. Who cares about the girl? Who cares about what affair is happening with minor characters? They really needed to trim a lot of this stuff down because it felt very mini-series or soap opera in that way. Unpleasant.

Gen
Honestly I could've given the "honor" of my last place spot to any of my bottom five for different reasons. They were movies that made me feel angry or bored, and then there were movies that made me feel like I had completely wasted my life watching them. My Beautiful Laundrette somehow made me feel it all. I suppose I should give a film credit for eliciting some sort of emotion from me, but it does it through all the wrong ways: mainly by introducing a bunch of plot points and resolving exactly none of them. Only one other movie on this list manages that same feat to a greater degree, and though I hope it will show up soon (if it hasn't already) I have to at least award that one a couple of boosted spots for style. This movie somehow lacks both style and substance, and for that I can't forgive it.

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JONA posted...

Dang British people and their different words for things. Laundrette sounds like if my used clothes became a waifu.

lmao yes
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washing machine-senpai, please be gentle UwU

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I hate all of you

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Hey what did i do!

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35. Blue is the Warmest Color
Total score: 256

KBM - 18
JONA - 23
Snake - 27
Karo - 28
Johnbobb - 29
Charon - 30
Inviso - 31
Gen - 32
Metal - 38

KBM
Probably one of the most controversial movies on this list, I think I struggled more with where to place this one than I did with any of the other 39 movies. On the onevhand, I find this to be one of the most compulsively watchable, enthralling three-hour movies I've ever seen. It doesn't feel nearly its length, and that is a credit to both writer/director Abdellatif Kechiche and the brilliant performances from lead actresses La Seydoux and Adle Exarchopoulos. The chemistry between these two is some of the best among all the romantic pairings on this list, and you can absolutely see why the film's Palme d'Or was awarded to them as well as to the director. That all being
said, I do entirely understand where people who don't like this movie are coming from, and having sat with some of the criticism, both from members of the LGBT community and from people who actually worked on it, has slightly tempered my enthusiasm in regards to Blue is the Warmest Colour. I still think it's a great film, and I think the sex
scenes are absolutely necessary to the plot, and at their best can be quite erotic... but I will also admit that they are a bit much and definitely come off a bit fetishistic. As I said, tough one to rank, because I do get swept up in the romance of it all, but when I step back and look at it with a more critical lens, I can definitely see where it could
have been trimmed, even if it didn't feel its length to me.

JONA
The biggest thing going against this movie is its 180 minute runtime. The movie doesnt completely
utilize that runtime either with the movie just dragging along with some scenes that feel too long. The
first part is where the two main characters end up getting together and it was somewhat interesting due
to Adele discovering her own sexual identity. The second part is where I thought the movie picked up
with it having a timeskip with the two characters moving in with each other. Despite the initial
uneasiness caused by the age difference of Adele and Emma, its easy to root for their relationship to go
well. Seeing the relationship have problems was compelling and it was surprising to see the movie go on
for a while after the end of the relationship. Like I said, it could be too long, but it still has its emotional
moments. This movies a mixed bag but the I felt that the positives outweighed the negatives for me.

Snake
It's hard to put my opinions in to word here. On the one hand, it's a brave exploration of pure lesbianism and all the complicated emotions that come with, on the other, an almost exploitative piece that relishes in pure lewdity for the sake of it. Maybe it's the interesting dichotomy that makes it so powerful though, or maybe it's the unnecessarily long run-time that drags it too much. Duality!

Karo
I don't know about the warmest, but blue is certainly the *longest* color, as this movie clocks in at a hefty three
hours of runtime. That is all right if you have 3 hours of story to tell, but this film has an hour and a half at most,
and is stuffed to bursting with so many extraneous scenes of people just dancing randomly or whatever.
The director seriously needs to learn the meaning of the term 'editing' because it honestly plays out like watching
someone's home movies and is roughly as interesting.
I feel there is a gem somewhere in this bloated morass, the problem is that it is buried under six feet of bedrock and
it is probably not worth the trouble to try and dig it out.
Score: 60/100

Johnbobb
Why I Chose It
What is pretty much guaranteed to be controversial here was also plenty controversial upon its release, with equal amounts praise and criticism aimed at this film's infamously long, explicit sex scenes. One thing that could be agreed upon is the praise for the two main actresses, with La Seydoux and Adle Exarchopoulos becoming two of the three women to ever win the Palme d'Or, and with Blue is the Warmest Color becoming the first film awarded it for both the director and main stars. Extra controversy hit director Abdellatif Kechiche, who was accused of harassment and violating labour laws.

What I Thought
ok who fucking taught these french people how the fuck to eat spaghetti jesus christ the fuck is wrong with you

Charon
Lord of the Rings for Lesbians. It's so, so long and unlike LotR it doesn't develop any sort of interesting lore to this world of relative boredom. It's a little less boring because well, I mean, it literally has 6 minute lesbian porn scene. Not even softcore porn either, like nearly hardcore lesbian porn. I guess that's... good? I mean otherwise this movie isn't particularly interesting, the main character is a wishy-washy fool and it's a little hard to care about the world building here despite how much time they spend on it. Oh, and let's not forget this is a 3 hour foreign language film at that. Yikes. But yeah, porn is fun I guess? It's amazing this was such a well-received "hit" with this level of sex in it. I'm not a prude or anything but I don't tend to think these kinds of scenes belong in mainstream film; and apparently the director kept on and on with these actresses to the point they claimed to have felt like prostitutes. It's amazing they would agree to these roles, especially since I can't imagine they'd have been paid THAT well. If anything, I think PornHub might have paid better cue PornHub community soundbyte.

Inviso
This is as high as I can rank a three-hour foreign film. I mean, MAYBE I could cut it slack if it
felt like it deserved that runtime, but honestly, you could have cut an hour to an hour and a half
and not lost anything. Youre dealing with a girl coming to grips with her sexual orientation, and
eventually finding a loving relationship, only for the movie to turn into your standard romantic
drama, without the happy ending that one would normally expect. Thats it. This did not need
three hours to tell the story of a girl discovering her lesbian self, falling in love, cheating on her
partner, and breaking up with her partner. The last half hour of the film is her sulking over how
her life has no meaning anymore.

Honestly? This is gonna sound really, REALLY shallow, but if it wasnt for the graphic sex
scenes to at least break up the monotony in SOME way, I would rank this even lower. But you
could EASILY cut those as well and not lose a single thing other than a good fifteen minutes of
the overly long runtime. This just felt like the biggest slog of the ranking thus far, and its a real
shame that the most positive memory I have of it ten percent that qualifies as porn.

Gen
Straddling the fine line between cinematography and pornography Blue is the Warmest Colour made me incredibly uncomfortable at times. I could delve deep into all the symbolism that makes this not only a competent film, but one that is actually quite clever such as the brilliant usage of color and costuming to portray emotions and desire or lack thereof, but ultimately... I just didn't like it. It's fantastically directed and acted, but I didn't like the way it made me feel and how long it held me hostage with its ridiculous three hour runtime.


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Metal
Yearning to be declared Art with a capital A, this overly self-indulgent affair is typified by its wild length and a consistently voyeuristic gaze that suits the material but that the execution all too often renders exploitative rather than earning. Along those lines, and as the movies title indicates, its maybe a bit too obvious that it took its course in symbolism 101. While its surprisingly watchable for its content and runtime, it simply failed to make me care one bit or feel the passion and emotion Adele went through on-screen, especially in the sex scenes.

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Outlier Ranking
KBM - 35
Snake - 30
Charon - 29
JONA - 28
Inviso - 27
PrinceKaro - 23
Metalmind - 23
Gen - 18
Johnbobb - 14

So the last two updates gave huge jumps to KBM and JONA, robbing JONA of his last place spot by quite a bit and bumping KBM all the way up to first


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Somehow the only person who didn't have AGM in last is almost at the bottom in outlier now >_>
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Tag
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34. Call Me By Your Name
Total score: 239

Johnbobb - 11
Snake - 11
KBM - 17
Karo - 24
Metal - 31
Charon - 34
Gen - 34
JONA - 38
Inviso - 39

Johnbobb
Why I Chose It
The much anticipated (in some circles) followup to Luca Guadagnino's I Am Love and A Bigger Splash was guaranteed to be a hit amongst romance fans, but a combination of various factors, including the shocking kickstart of Chamalet's career and the popularity of Sufjan Stevens' contributions to the soundtrack, made the film's Sundance premiere and limited release a surprise success, scoring dozens of award nominations, including a nomination for the Best Picture Oscar.

What I Thought
90% of the reason I enjoy this movie is because of the setting. Elio's house in Northern Italy is basically my dream home. I'm in love with the Italian architecture and landscapes and honestly this movie wouldn't have worked for me nearly as well without them. Tie that in with a fantastic soundtrack and Timothee Chalamet in the role that would cement him as one of the best young actors working today, and it's easy to feel the movie seducing you in a way that made me sympathize with Elio, the young man who was himself being pulled in by a seduction he couldn't resist.

Snake
A god damn exciting breath of fresh air! A mature, confident story that doesn't fall back on typical tropes, like hateful parents or scenes of explicit bullying, instead a story of purity where characters act rational, even if that rationally can still lead to devastating effects. Yes, it's a tear-jerker, but one of bittersweetness that reminds us of the fragility of our lives & the people who pass through it.

KBM
Though the age gap between the two leads is undeniably a bit problematic, Luca
Guadagnino is an adept enough director, and Timothe Chalamet and Armie Hammer
give great enough performances, that Call Me By Your Name successfully walks the
tightrope it needs to walk to make their relationship work. The intense emotional
journey that these characters go through certainly gets uncomfortable at times, but I
think that realness ultimately makes the movie more effective. The screenplay is
fantastic, the music and cinematography are understated yet beautiful, and Michael
Stuhlbarg's monologue at the end closes the film on just the right kind of bittersweet
note. This is another one I've seen a few times, and every time I do I find something
more to appreciate in a story that, on the surface, seems like it shouldn't work as well
as it does.

Karo
These guys do stuff in italy and fall in love. It is kinda boring at the start, but the real issue is that there is not really
any story here. Characters generally need something to strive for or something to overcome to make a story, but
here the only barrier between the two is Oliver's initial reluctance to become intimate. They don't have to deal with
ignorant bigots, hysterical parents, backwards laws, or even the slightest challenge to their relationship.
This leaves the film feeling as dull and empty as a Hallmark channel production (or what would happen if Hallmark
ever made any movies about something other than straight cisgendered white people). I mean at least throw in a
love triangle plot or something so I don't feel like I'm just watching these dudes pointless vacation videos.

Score: 64/100

Metal
Ultimately akin to Blue is the Warmest Color except substantially shorter and less explicit, plus generally not so self-indulgent. Elio and Olivers romance certainly felt real, and the movies depiction of their arc nailed a melancholy tone, but it all proved utterly uncompelling for me. At least the audiovisual elements generally delivered, with an appealing setting that felt at once modern and nostalgic, excellent use of ambient noise, and a rightfully lauded pair of Sufjan Stevens songs that distill the films essence. Oddly, it did manifest an outsized presence in my dreams that night, perhaps thanks to all the ways it should have resonated with me and my life situation on watch.

Charon
This was another dreadfully dull and boring movie to me. It just goes on for way too long and there's little build in the 'romance' part of it, if you can really call it that. Perhaps I'd have to watch it again but I didn't sense much chemistry between the main characters, at least not emotionally. I suppose sexual attraction could be easy to see here but I feel like the movie wanted us to believe there was also an emotional connection between the two. I guess I just didn't find it particularly interesting or realistic, or perhaps it was too realistic to be interesting, even. It was a tiring slog to make it to the end is all I'm really sure of.

Gen
Perhaps I just missed the point of Call Me By Your Name entirely, but I was left bored and wondering what the point was by the conclusion. There may have been merit in watching a young man "find himself" over the course of one wild summer via a couple of fleeting flings, but the slow burn it took to get there wasn't my cup of tea. The age gap (which I actually guessed accurately despite Armie Hammer looking a bit older) also made me uncomfortable despite Elio being the one to initiate nearly every sensual encounter with Oliver once he realized he had feelings for him. Kudos to Elio's father who is one of the best supporting characters and parents in this project, but I couldn't support this romance nearly as much as him.

JONA
This did not end up being a weird alternate universe spinoff of Roots where Kunta Kinte wants to be
called Toby. The name of the movie is bad and I think it made less sense in context. I just found the two
leads and the movie as a whole is just plain boring. The difference in ages also makes it quite awkward
with the older one looking older than hes supposed to.

Inviso
For several years, I have heard little else about this movie, other than how beautiful and
wonderful it is. That was fucking false advertising. This was horrendously boring, and at no
point was I rooting for the success of the main character. Elio is a nerdy little douche who
happens to grow up in the lap of luxury with his cool, rich parents. His dad, a college professor,
takes on a grad student to help with his work, and said grad student is a hot, older guy. Elio feels
strange stirrings of affection, so he lusts after Oliver. Granted, he lusts after him after like, thirty
minutes of just general obnoxious douchery. So for the entire first half of the movie, Elio is a
pretentious, nerdy prick who doesnt know how to socialize properly. This is our protagonist,
folks.
Anyway, Elio eventually gets an invitation to have sex with Oliver at midnight, so what does he
do? He has sex with Marzia, a local girl thats friends with the family. He then completely
ghosts her to be with Oliver, and she justaccepts this. She eventually tells him shes cool with
being friends. This is AFTER Oliver leaves and essentially abandons Elio. Oh yeah, and Elios
parents? They know about the gay relationship and not only is the dad cool with it, but the dad
admits to have had a similar fling in his youth. Just to be clear, Elio is a piece of shit who hits it
and quits it with a girl, ghosts her and has her forgive him, his parents dont object to his
relationship, and basically he experiences NO conflict for 95% of the movie, right up until he
doesnt get his way ONCE and becomes a crying wreck. For a movie over two hours long, its
painfully boring to watch.

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v_charon posted...

Somehow the only person who didn't have AGM in last is almost at the bottom in outlier now >_>

And now she IS at the bottom.
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Outlier Ranking
Snake - 53
KBM - 52
Johnbobb - 37
PrinceKaro - 33
JONA - 32
Inviso - 32
Charon - 29
Metalmind - 26
Gen - 18

some big movement here due to the few high scores for Call Me By Your Name, with myself jumping from last place all the way to third, and Snake and KBM competing for a distant 1st place


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