Poll of the Day > Well, my boyfriend and I broke up

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Jen0125
08/12/20 9:44:44 PM
#1:


He finally verbalized that he's having resentment because I don't want kids

F

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Mead
08/12/20 9:45:42 PM
#2:


damn that sucks, sorry jen

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wwinterj25
08/12/20 9:47:11 PM
#3:


Probably for the best as you both want different things. Still sucks though.

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Blightzkrieg
08/12/20 9:48:00 PM
#4:


Haven't you done this before?

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Miroku_of_Nite1
08/12/20 9:48:55 PM
#5:


Blightzkrieg posted...
Haven't you done this before?

Yeah when she was in rehab he dumped her. Well good luck with the house Jen.

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Jen0125
08/12/20 9:51:45 PM
#6:


Blightzkrieg posted...
Haven't you done this before?

No, not really. We separated for a few months when I was getting treatment but we've been together almost six years.

Miroku_of_Nite1 posted...
Yeah when she was in rehab he dumped her. Well good luck with the house Jen.

Bro, he said buying the house made him hopeful I'd change my mind. I was like .

But I only need to stay here a couple more years. I'm gonna finish my masters, get a TEFL, and then go teach English overseas after that.

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wwinterj25
08/12/20 9:54:34 PM
#7:


Jen0125 posted...
then go teach English overseas after that.

Where are you planning on teaching?

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Miroku_of_Nite1
08/12/20 9:55:05 PM
#8:


Sounds like you should've worked that out before it came to that. But anyway, good luck out there.

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PK_Spam
08/12/20 9:56:03 PM
#9:


The fuck? Who holds resentment for that when youve clearly been together this long?

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SunWuKung420
08/12/20 9:56:54 PM
#10:


My condolences.

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Greenfox111
08/12/20 9:57:18 PM
#11:


Sorry jen keep your head up

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 9:58:16 PM
#12:


better inform PotD. We're here for you.

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DDirtyDastard
08/12/20 9:58:26 PM
#13:


I don't even know this chick's situation but based on her posts I could've told you this would happen a long time ago.
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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 9:59:01 PM
#14:


Why would you stay with someone for six years when you guys are on opposite ends of the kids debate. Jesus what a waste of time.

No offense or anything but wow

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Jen0125
08/12/20 9:59:37 PM
#15:


wwinterj25 posted...
Where are you planning on teaching?

Maybe Korea.

Miroku_of_Nite1 posted...
Sounds like you should've worked that out before it came to that. But anyway, good luck out there.

Yeah, no shit but we both suck at communication.

PK_Spam posted...
The fuck? Who holds resentment for that when youve clearly been together this long?

Idk he was holding out hope I'd change my mind which really sucks for both of us. It wasn't like I was secretive about not wanting kids. He knew since our first date. He said he thought I'd change my mind as we got older.

It's just a sad situation because we both love each other and want to be together but it's a fundamental incapatibility.

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PK_Spam
08/12/20 10:00:26 PM
#16:


DDirtyDastard posted...
I don't even know this chick's situation but based on her posts I could've told you this would happen a long time ago.
People think being snarky in venting posts makes you funny, but it just makes you look like a dickhead

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:00:44 PM
#17:


You are both at fault here. If you KNEW you weren't changing your mind, break up. Why string the guy along? Why would he stay to be strung along? Holy fuck what a horrible situation lmao. Good luck

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Jen0125
08/12/20 10:00:49 PM
#18:


SpeeDLeemon posted...
Why would you stay with someone for six years when you guys are on opposite ends of the kids debate. Jesus what a waste of time.

No offense or anything but wow

He never made it seem like a deal breaker until recently. And then on Sunday he hit me with the resentment line and I was like well, this needs to end.

It definitely is something that shouldn't have gone on so long but we were both not good with communicating and I only recently had the courage to confront it since I've gained skills in therapy.

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Jen0125
08/12/20 10:01:28 PM
#19:


SpeeDLeemon posted...
You are both at fault here. If you KNEW you weren't changing your mind, break up. Why string the guy along? Why would he stay to be strung along? Holy fuck what a horrible situation lmao. Good luck

Yes, we discussed that. I just wasn't strong enough to end it because I wanted to be with him. We were both really emotionally immature for most of our relationship.

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LinkPizza
08/12/20 10:01:44 PM
#20:


Sorry to hear that, Jen...
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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:02:00 PM
#21:


He never made it seem like a deal breaker until recently.

I see. Well that's his problem then. But you should have been more clear and had a conversation. I understand the communication thing, but in a relationship, you just don't not communicate about these kinds of things

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DDirtyDastard
08/12/20 10:02:15 PM
#22:


PK_Spam posted...
People think being snarky in venting posts makes you funny, but it just makes you look like a dickhead

Like I give a fuck
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Judgmenl
08/12/20 10:02:26 PM
#23:


That sucks, isn't it super hard to find people in your 30s?

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:03:03 PM
#24:


Sorry to come off as an ass. I don't want kids.

But you gotta be clear with men because men are stupid

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LinkPizza
08/12/20 10:03:10 PM
#25:


Judgmenl posted...
That sucks, isn't it super hard to find people in your 30s?

I don't think it's that bad...
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Jen0125
08/12/20 10:03:10 PM
#26:


SpeeDLeemon posted...
I see. Well that's his problem then. But you should have been more clear and had a conversation. I understand the communication thing, but in a relationship, you just don't not communicate about these kinds of things

Well it's not like there was no communication. I made it clear I didn't want kids and for a long time he made it seem like it was a give or take type of thing. But then it started turning into how he wants a family and I was like.. Eh.

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DDirtyDastard
08/12/20 10:03:30 PM
#27:


Judgmenl posted...
That sucks, isn't it super hard to find people in your 30s?

It's easier as a dude. Harder for chicks.
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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:03:50 PM
#28:


I feel ya I feel ya. Stay true to yourself

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Jen0125
08/12/20 10:04:02 PM
#29:


Judgmenl posted...
That sucks, isn't it super hard to find people in your 30s?

For whom? For him? Probably not. He'll probably find a woman in her 20s tbh. I'm not looking for another relationship. I think I'm more a lone wolf. I'm just gonna focus on experiencing what I want in the world instead of finding a relationship.

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:04:31 PM
#30:


Yeah don't go looking for someone. Just let life happen

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DDirtyDastard
08/12/20 10:04:56 PM
#31:


Jen0125 posted...
For whom? For him? Probably not. He'll probably find a woman in her 20s tbh. I'm not looking for another relationship. I think I'm more a lone wolf. I'm just gonna focus on experiencing what I want in the world instead of finding a relationship.

Translation: She's going to the sausage buffet
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wwinterj25
08/12/20 10:06:12 PM
#32:


Judgmenl posted...
That sucks, isn't it super hard to find people in your 30s?
Depends the person I guess.

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:06:35 PM
#33:


DDirtyDastard posted...
Translation: She's going to the sausage buffet
nothing wrong with casual sex bro

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Jen0125
08/12/20 10:06:51 PM
#34:


DDirtyDastard posted...
Translation: She's going to the sausage buffet

No? I'm not even interested in that. I did that after my last relationship when I was always drunk but I'm sober now. I'm just going to finish my Masters and lay low.

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:07:14 PM
#35:


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Judgmenl
08/12/20 10:07:17 PM
#36:


Jen0125 posted...
For whom? For him? Probably not. He'll probably find a woman in her 20s tbh. I'm not looking for another relationship. I think I'm more a lone wolf. I'm just gonna focus on experiencing what I want in the world instead of finding a relationship.
I was trying to be caring or something and it came off weird.
I mean most people on here have know you for 10-15 years now, and know you've been through a lot of shit and idk I'm digging a hole for myself even typing this message out.

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DDirtyDastard
08/12/20 10:08:19 PM
#37:


SpeeDLeemon posted...
nothing wrong with casual sex bro

Except for it destroying one's ability to pair bond. It doesn't matter in this chick's situation since she said she doesn't want a relationship anyway.
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wolfy42
08/12/20 10:08:28 PM
#38:


Ack, that blows, I'm really sorry.

It's funny, I have a friend who is literally waiting for the travel bans to end to teach over seas. He was thinking of Korea as well (or Japan if he can swing it). He's actually in his early 30's as well, previous roomate and friend of mine for quite a few years.

He also considered getting one of those $1 homes in Italy, or possibly moving to Ireland as well (I think he just really wants to get out of the US lol).

Anyway, best of luck to you Jen, hope you can look at this as a good thing, it lets you move forward and hopefully find somebody to spend the rest of your life with. Better now, then in like 5-10 years.

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:09:11 PM
#39:


DDirtyDastard posted...
Except for it destroying one's ability to pair bond.
lol ok

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LinkPizza
08/12/20 10:09:43 PM
#40:


DDirtyDastard posted...
Except for it destroying one's ability to pair bond. It doesn't matter in this chick's situation since she said she doesn't want a relationship anyway.

No. You just pair bond when you're ready...
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Jen0125
08/12/20 10:09:44 PM
#41:


Judgmenl posted...
I was trying to be caring or something and it came off weird.
I mean most people on here have know you for 10-15 years now, and know you've been through a lot of shit and idk I'm digging a hole for myself even typing this message out.

It's okay, I posted so it's open to criticism. I'm just not interested in dating. I really want to explore the world so I'm gonna do that.

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The_tall_midget
08/12/20 10:10:02 PM
#42:


Jen0125 posted...
We were both really emotionally immature for most of our relationship.

I am shocked and do not believe you.

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DDirtyDastard
08/12/20 10:10:12 PM
#43:


SpeeDLeemon posted...
lol ok

Look up divorce rates and how they relate to the amount of partners they had previous to their marriage.
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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:10:19 PM
#44:


come to Maryland enjoy the nice humidity

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:10:36 PM
#45:


DDirtyDastard posted...
Look up divorce rates and how they relate to the amount of partners they had previous to their marriage.
Lmfao.

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Jen0125
08/12/20 10:10:54 PM
#46:


SpeeDLeemon posted...
come to Maryland enjoy the nice humidity

Lmao. It has been 34 days of 110+ heat down here its killer.

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SpeeDLeemon
08/12/20 10:11:40 PM
#47:


Jen0125 posted...
Lmao. It has been 34 days of 110+ heat down here its killer.
Now imagine that with humidity

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The_tall_midget
08/12/20 10:13:08 PM
#48:


DDirtyDastard posted...
Look up divorce rates and how they relate to the amount of partners they had previous to their marriage.

Hey, look at that, someone who actually understands reality.

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zebatov
08/12/20 10:15:07 PM
#49:


Rough. Good for you, though. Many people these days dont.

Judgmenl posted...
That sucks, isn't it super hard to find people in your 30s?

Only if you both are.

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Jen0125
08/12/20 10:15:13 PM
#50:


SpeeDLeemon posted...
Now imagine that with humidity

It's been like 30% humidity so we just stay inside.

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