Board 8 > So my daughter might be a sociopath

(+) Yeah! (+)

My wife caught her biting our kittens tail and when asked about it she replied, "My brain tells me to hurt kitty like when my brain tells me I am hungry."

My wife said, "Hurting the kitten like that is bad, and if you're too rough with the kitten you could kill it."

My daughter's response? "I want to kill kitty."

My wife said, "you're not allowed to kill the kitty."

She replied, "When can I kill an animal?"

My daughter is 3 years old.
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Excellent
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start setting up the cameras, at least your remaining relatives can make a killing from the found footage
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The thing is, she has been visibly upset everytime we have had an animal die.

When our fish died earlier this year she cried and was upset for weeks about it. She even got mad at me for flushing it.

When one of our dogs died in August, she was very upset about it and even drew pictures to bury with the dog when we buried it out in its favourite camping spot.

So she shows signs of empathy but I'm starting to think she is faking it.
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That seems pretty sophisticated for 3 years old.
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

My brain tells me ___ like when my brain tells me I am hungry.

Daughter talking like this was the first sign tbh
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Maybe she just hates the cat cause cats suck
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Sceptilesolar posted...

That seems pretty sophisticated for 3 years old.

She's three and a half, and it would probably blow you're mind how advanced mentally and physically both of our kids are. Not meant to be a humble brag or anything and I know parents say that kind of thing about their kids all the time, but it's kind of crazy how both of our kids turned out the way they did especially because both my wife and I have siblings that border on being mentally challenged and both of our moms are borderline mentally challenged.
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Lopen posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

My brain tells me ___ like when my brain tells me I am hungry.

Daughter talking like this was the first sign tbh

Yea that was what kind of set alarm bells off for my wife, and when she told me I was flabbergasted at that.
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Solioxrz362 posted...

Maybe she just hates the cat cause cats suck

Nah, cats are chill. I personally don't think there are any pets that "suck." I have animals I hate but that's because they deserve it.
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I remember hearing something about how when your brain sees something cute and you say you want to Eat it or squish it is because our brain doesn't know how to handle cute so it reverts to one of those

So may just be that she is finding it super cute?
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

The thing is, she has been visibly upset everytime we have had an animal die.

When our fish died earlier this year she cried and was upset for weeks about it. She even got mad at me for flushing it.

When one of our dogs died in August, she was very upset about it and even drew pictures to bury with the dog when we buried it out in its favourite camping spot.

So she shows signs of empathy but I'm starting to think she is faking it.

I am not even close to an expert on this subject so take this with a big grain of salt, but from what I understand, psychopathy/sociopathy (I would say this situation reads more like psychopathy but they're almost the same thing) doesn't mean 'can't get upset'. If you like a living being and it dies, anyone is going to be upset - the difference is that a Psychopath/sociopath views it more as "this object I liked is gone" whereas someone with more empathy would view it as "this living being with its own thoughts and emotions is dead". They can also have SOME empathy, it's just stunted. Or they don't have any at all and they're faking everything.

Not that it's guaranteed that your daughter is a psychopath or sociopath, but honestly those examples you gave are pretty alarming.
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ScareChan posted...

I remember hearing something about how when your brain sees something cute and you say you want to Eat it or squish it is because our brain doesn't know how to handle cute so it reverts to one of those

So may just be that she is finding it super cute?

Oh god, I hope so.

You saying this prompted me to investigate it, I guess cuteness aggression is a thing.
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Hey, if she grows up to be a butcher she can kill animals legally.
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KamikazePotato posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

The thing is, she has been visibly upset everytime we have had an animal die.

When our fish died earlier this year she cried and was upset for weeks about it. She even got mad at me for flushing it.

When one of our dogs died in August, she was very upset about it and even drew pictures to bury with the dog when we buried it out in its favourite camping spot.

So she shows signs of empathy but I'm starting to think she is faking it.

I am not even close to an expert on this subject so take this with a big grain of salt, but from what I understand, psychopathy/sociopathy (I would say this situation reads more like psychopathy but they're almost the same thing) doesn't mean 'can't get upset'. If you like a living being and it dies, anyone is going to be upset - the difference is that a Psychopath/sociopath views it more as "this object I liked is gone" whereas someone with more empathy would view it as "this living being with its own thoughts and emotions is dead". They can also have SOME empathy, it's just stunted. Or they don't have any at all and they're faking everything.

Not that it's guaranteed that your daughter is a psychopath or sociopath, but honestly those examples you gave are pretty alarming.

Yea, I'm currently at the point where I want to monitor the behaviour, but I'm not 100% sure what to do. Her early ed class has people that we are going to talk to.
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Raka_Putra posted...

Hey, if she grows up to be a butcher she can kill animals legally.

This is true lol.
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

ScareChan posted...

I remember hearing something about how when your brain sees something cute and you say you want to Eat it or squish it is because our brain doesn't know how to handle cute so it reverts to one of those

So may just be that she is finding it super cute?

Oh god, I hope so.

You saying this prompted me to investigate it, I guess cuteness aggression is a thing.

Hope that's all it is

Or she becomes the furry hunting vigilante that we will need in 20 years
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Bane_Of_Despair posted...

start setting up the cameras, at least your remaining relatives can make a killing from the found footage

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Maybe she doesn't understand what the word kill means.
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You might want to read up on the book "psychopath test" Psychopathy or sociopathy are not death sentences (to her or you guys) it may just mean a different method of raising them is in order.
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bryans7 posted...

Maybe she doesn't understand what the word kill means.

I'm pretty sure she does, but I'll confirm that when I get home.
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SantaRPidgey posted...

You might want to read up on the book "psychopath test" Psychopathy or sociopathy are not death sentences (to her or you guys) it may just mean a different method of raising them is in order.

I'll do that, thanks.
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take her to a therapist, don't take advice from board 8
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TexasZea posted...

take her to a therapist, don't take advice from board 8

I'm not soley taking advice from B8, this was more of a blogfaqs and she has a therapist already, the problem is she exhibits no bad behaviours when not in our care making it look like we make things up. She has been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder but will only exhibit the behaviours when no one is around. The only reason she even got the diagnosis is because her occupational therapist did home visits and after months of coming over and seeing a perfect little angel there was one day when is was in full on meltdown mode. After seeing it her therapist was like, "Whoa."
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If you channel it right, psycho/sociopathic people tend to be extremely successful.
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Just a stage. Wouldn't give two shits regarding it. Brain isn't even formed.
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

TexasZea posted...

take her to a therapist, don't take advice from board 8

I'm not soley taking advice from B8, this was more of a blogfaqs and she has a therapist already, the problem is she exhibits no bad behaviours when not in our care making it look like we make things up. She has been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder but will only exhibit the behaviours when no one is around. The only reason she even got the diagnosis is because her occupational therapist did home visits and after months of coming over and seeing a perfect little angel there was one day when is was in full on meltdown mode. After seeing it her therapist was like, "Whoa."

That isn't a cognitive disorder. That is behaviorial. She only acts up around yinz because she trusts and loves you so much that she feels no matter what she does you will still love her regardless.

Likely from either over nurturing or lack of authority/discipline.
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Listen to Corrik over the trained therapist, he knows better.
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Corrik posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

TexasZea posted...

take her to a therapist, don't take advice from board 8

I'm not soley taking advice from B8, this was more of a blogfaqs and she has a therapist already, the problem is she exhibits no bad behaviours when not in our care making it look like we make things up. She has been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder but will only exhibit the behaviours when no one is around. The only reason she even got the diagnosis is because her occupational therapist did home visits and after months of coming over and seeing a perfect little angel there was one day when is was in full on meltdown mode. After seeing it her therapist was like, "Whoa."

That isn't a cognitive disorder. That is behaviorial. She only acts up around yinz because she trusts and loves you so much that she feels no matter what she does you will still love her regardless.

Likely from either over nurturing or lack of authority/discipline.

Well to be honest, she wouldn't be wrong in assuming that lol.

And no, sensory processing disorder in not behavioural.
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Shaduln posted...

Listen to Corrik over the trained therapist, he knows better.

Of course.
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Shaduln posted...

Listen to Corrik over the trained therapist, he knows better.

Hasn't steered me wrong yet

He got vlade to draft bags after all
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So my daughter might be a sociopath

IfGodCouldDie posted...

My daughter is 3 years old.

Isn't this normal?
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Solioxrz362 posted...

Maybe she just hates the cat cause cats suck

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Shaduln posted...

Listen to Corrik over the trained therapist, he knows better.

It is literal common sense. Anyone who has any experience in mainstreaming/special education can tell you this.

If the behavior isn't prevalent, it is not a cognitive issue in a child. If it manifests around certain individuals, it is behavioral. Behavioral therapy with the parents where a therapist tells you how to deal with behavior to shape responses and avoid problematic behaviors/responses is a good idea.

Planned ignoring, proper phrasing of questions/ set up of situations, and etc are good things to learn.

One of the biggest issues parents run into is not knowing how to talk to kids.

NO is the last thing you generally want to have to tell a child unless it is something major. Thus, shaping your questions to avoid this response is always best.

For example...

Poorly framed questioning to a kid.

Question: "What would you like for breakfast?"

Answer: "Ice cream and Skittles".

Your Response: "No, you can't have that."

Child gets upset.

This is exactly how you DON'T talk to a child who has a behaviorial issue. Because the child did nothing but answer your question as asked and you responded by telling them no. Why did you even ask the question then if their response wouldn't be allowed?

Better question

Question: "Would you like eggs for breakfast?"

Answer: "No, I hate eggs"

Response: "How about cereal? You can have cereal or eggs if you are hungry. If not, and you get hungry later let me know and I will get you one of those".

Learning how to not lead conversations to "no" and misdirecting conversations to answers you find acceptable is one of the key things most parents lack the training on and it can handle many situations.

This can help with behavioral issues

That said, a three year old saying ridiculous things is not a cause for concern. You just want to ignore it at times, very calmly say stuff like "we don't say stuff like that. We love kitties. They are cute! Don't you think so!" and do your best to not make a big deal about it. Some kids will do things purposely just for attention from a parent. If you make a big deal to bad behavior, you reinforce doing bad things to get that attention.
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And i'm sure a child therapist doesn't have any experience with special education.
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Corrik posted...

That said, a three year old saying ridiculous things is not a cause for concern. You just want to ignore it at times, very calmly say stuff like "we don't say stuff like that. We love kitties. They are cute! Don't you think so!" and do your best to not make a big deal about it.

This was my thought also. Kids say weird things sometimes. If this is just a singular incident I wouldn't worry about it. Obviously watch her around animals, but you should do that anyway with a three year old.
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Drakeryn posted...

Corrik posted...

That said, a three year old saying ridiculous things is not a cause for concern. You just want to ignore it at times, very calmly say stuff like "we don't say stuff like that. We love kitties. They are cute! Don't you think so!" and do your best to not make a big deal about it.

This was my thought also. Kids say weird things sometimes. If this is just a singular incident I wouldn't worry about it. Obviously watch her around animals, but you should do that anyway with a three year old.

Yeah, I mean, it is probably even just a stage. I'd give it a few months or so to go away assuming you don't reinforce it somehow.

My son was saying something similar. (Not about cats. It went away. No big deal.

Generally, children that age simply don't even understand what they are saying at that age or what it truly means.
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Corrik posted...

Drakeryn posted...

Corrik posted...

That said, a three year old saying ridiculous things is not a cause for concern. You just want to ignore it at times, very calmly say stuff like "we don't say stuff like that. We love kitties. They are cute! Don't you think so!" and do your best to not make a big deal about it.

This was my thought also. Kids say weird things sometimes. If this is just a singular incident I wouldn't worry about it. Obviously watch her around animals, but you should do that anyway with a three year old.

Yeah, I mean, it is probably even just a stage. I'd give it a few months or so to go away assuming you don't reinforce it somehow.

My son was saying something similar. (Not about cats. It went away. No big deal.

Generally, children that age simply don't even understand what they are saying at that age or what it truly means.

Now that said, this I agree with. Just watch her mostly.
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Corrik posted...

Shaduln posted...

Listen to Corrik over the trained therapist, he knows better.

It is literal common sense. Anyone who has any experience in mainstreaming/special education can tell you this.

If the behavior isn't prevalent, it is not a cognitive issue in a child. If it manifests around certain individuals, it is behavioral. Behavioral therapy with the parents where a therapist tells you how to deal with behavior to shape responses and avoid problematic behaviors/responses is a good idea.

Planned ignoring, proper phrasing of questions/ set up of situations, and etc are good things to learn.

One of the biggest issues parents run into is not knowing how to talk to kids.

NO is the last thing you generally want to have to tell a child unless it is something major. Thus, shaping your questions to avoid this response is always best.

For example...

Poorly framed questioning to a kid.

Question: "What would you like for breakfast?"

Answer: "Ice cream and Skittles".

Your Response: "No, you can't have that."

Child gets upset.

This is exactly how you DON'T talk to a child who has a behaviorial issue. Because the child did nothing but answer your question as asked and you responded by telling them no. Why did you even ask the question then if their response wouldn't be allowed?

Better question

Question: "Would you like eggs for breakfast?"

Answer: "No, I hate eggs"

Response: "How about cereal? You can have cereal or eggs if you are hungry. If not, and you get hungry later let me know and I will get you one of those".

Learning how to not lead conversations to "no" and misdirecting conversations to answers you find acceptable is one of the key things most parents lack the training on and it can handle many situations.

This can help with behavioral issues

That said, a three year old saying ridiculous things is not a cause for concern. You just want to ignore it at times, very calmly say stuff like "we don't say stuff like that. We love kitties. They are cute! Don't you think so!" and do your best to not make a big deal about it. Some kids will do things purposely just for attention from a parent. If you make a big deal to bad behavior, you reinforce doing bad things to get that attention.

While I agree with this, whole heartedly. The sensory processing is something that tends to be quite prevalent when she is in relaxed environments. They tend to come out more when she is comfortable in a scenario and are less prevalent when she is distracted. There are also times when sound, light and things touching her do set off irrational responses.
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Corrik posted...

Drakeryn posted...

Corrik posted...

That said, a three year old saying ridiculous things is not a cause for concern. You just want to ignore it at times, very calmly say stuff like "we don't say stuff like that. We love kitties. They are cute! Don't you think so!" and do your best to not make a big deal about it.

This was my thought also. Kids say weird things sometimes. If this is just a singular incident I wouldn't worry about it. Obviously watch her around animals, but you should do that anyway with a three year old.

Yeah, I mean, it is probably even just a stage. I'd give it a few months or so to go away assuming you don't reinforce it somehow.

My son was saying something similar. (Not about cats. It went away. No big deal.

Generally, children that age simply don't even understand what they are saying at that age or what it truly means.

This is very true, and like I said earlier I plan to actually see if she understands what killing is or if it was something she just repeated because my wife used that word.
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Maybe she'll kill God
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

Corrik posted...

Shaduln posted...

Listen to Corrik over the trained therapist, he knows better.

It is literal common sense. Anyone who has any experience in mainstreaming/special education can tell you this.

If the behavior isn't prevalent, it is not a cognitive issue in a child. If it manifests around certain individuals, it is behavioral. Behavioral therapy with the parents where a therapist tells you how to deal with behavior to shape responses and avoid problematic behaviors/responses is a good idea.

Planned ignoring, proper phrasing of questions/ set up of situations, and etc are good things to learn.

One of the biggest issues parents run into is not knowing how to talk to kids.

NO is the last thing you generally want to have to tell a child unless it is something major. Thus, shaping your questions to avoid this response is always best.

For example...

Poorly framed questioning to a kid.

Question: "What would you like for breakfast?"

Answer: "Ice cream and Skittles".

Your Response: "No, you can't have that."

Child gets upset.

This is exactly how you DON'T talk to a child who has a behaviorial issue. Because the child did nothing but answer your question as asked and you responded by telling them no. Why did you even ask the question then if their response wouldn't be allowed?

Better question

Question: "Would you like eggs for breakfast?"

Answer: "No, I hate eggs"

Response: "How about cereal? You can have cereal or eggs if you are hungry. If not, and you get hungry later let me know and I will get you one of those".

Learning how to not lead conversations to "no" and misdirecting conversations to answers you find acceptable is one of the key things most parents lack the training on and it can handle many situations.

This can help with behavioral issues

That said, a three year old saying ridiculous things is not a cause for concern. You just want to ignore it at times, very calmly say stuff like "we don't say stuff like that. We love kitties. They are cute! Don't you think so!" and do your best to not make a big deal about it. Some kids will do things purposely just for attention from a parent. If you make a big deal to bad behavior, you reinforce doing bad things to get that attention.

While I agree with this, whole heartedly. The sensory processing is something that tends to be quite prevalent when she is in relaxed environments. They tend to come out more when she is comfortable in a scenario and are less prevalent when she is distracted. There are also times when sound, light and things touching her do set off irrational responses.

I am not saying she doesn't have that. There is obviously details we are not privy to regarding her. I am referring to the acts up for us solely but is an angel for everyone else to the point no one believes us stuff. That specifically is behaviorial.
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

Corrik posted...

Drakeryn posted...

Corrik posted...

That said, a three year old saying ridiculous things is not a cause for concern. You just want to ignore it at times, very calmly say stuff like "we don't say stuff like that. We love kitties. They are cute! Don't you think so!" and do your best to not make a big deal about it.

This was my thought also. Kids say weird things sometimes. If this is just a singular incident I wouldn't worry about it. Obviously watch her around animals, but you should do that anyway with a three year old.

Yeah, I mean, it is probably even just a stage. I'd give it a few months or so to go away assuming you don't reinforce it somehow.

My son was saying something similar. (Not about cats. It went away. No big deal.

Generally, children that age simply don't even understand what they are saying at that age or what it truly means.

This is very true, and like I said earlier I plan to actually see if she understands what killing is or if it was something she just repeated because my wife used that word.

I honestly wouldn't even try to clarify it with her understanding it or not. No reason to dwell on it and give it more attention than necessary.

But it is up to you.
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You got a hunter on your hands!
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I love it when I find a topic like this and it's full of people I vaguely know

My advice would be don't have kids but clearly it's too late for y'all. Best of luck and as always listen to Corrik unless you shouldn't in which case don't. Don't buy sulfuric acid if she asks for it in large quantities, especially if you have a bathtub or she seems particularly stressed out.
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Yeah I agree with the "kids say the darndest things" analysis here

it's likely she doesn't really know what she's saying, I wouldn't be that worried, I don't even think it's necessary to follow up on this really

maybe she is aware of her constitutional rights and can't wait to go hunting and posing with dead animals
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So I got home and reminded her about her conversation and asked her if she knew what killing meant, she asked me what it meant. I explained that it meant to make something dead like her fish and our dog. She looked at me wide eyed and said she never wants to kill.

Crisis adverted.
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Surskit posted...

maybe she is aware of her constitutional rights and can't wait to go hunting and posing with dead animals

We are Canadian.
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

So I got home and reminded her about her conversation and asked her if she knew what killing meant, she asked me what it meant. I explained that it meant to make something dead like her fish and our dog. She looked at me wide eyed and said she never wants to kill.

Crisis adverted.

That goes against every event in the first post though.
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