Poll of the Day > Do you think "toxic masculinity" is really a problem?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Heard this a lot in the news recently and read about it. I think it came up especially after the parkland shootings and supposedly is a big cause of the problem that the u.s. has with guns.

Not in the pop culture way that you see in Cosmo, but it does exist elsewheres - like the aforementioned parkland
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Lokarin posted...

Not in the pop culture way that you see in Cosmo, but it does exist elsewheres - like the aforementioned parkland

wuht? how are these 2 drastically different?
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Smallville posted...

Lokarin posted...

Not in the pop culture way that you see in Cosmo, but it does exist elsewheres - like the aforementioned parkland

wuht? how are these 2 drastically different?

One is all like "men have beards to oppress wamenz!" and the other is "I'm nice to you, I deserve your sex or i'll set you on fire"
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Toxic masculinity absolutely exists. From telling boys they're not allowed to cry to treating gentle boys like wussies... To the incredibly toxic ideas of using violence to solve problems and feeling entitled to slave women.
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Not really to the extreme that some people use the term. Nowadays it seems like some scream" Toxic masculinity" at the drop of a hat.
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Moonjay posted...

Toxic masculinity absolutely exists. From telling boys they're not allowed to cry to treating gentle boys like wussies... To the incredibly toxic ideas of using violence to solve problems and feeling entitled to slave women.

couldn't have said it better myself, excellent post. I totally agree.
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Balance and harmony.

Existing at any extreme is unhealthy and unproductive.
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Yeah and unfortunately our culture has tried to raise men with no balance or harmony for a long time.
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Yes. Men cause far more violence than women do. Like, 90% of violence. So the problem is either toxic masculinity, or men are just born that way.

I'm going with best case scenario in that the cause is toxic masculinity so we do not have to cull the male population for public safety.

I don't think it's a problem, but it certainly does exist. I'd say that.... 75% of males learn to cope with all the things that that end up being the excuse for the 1% who can't deal with rejection, their feelings, etc;

Edit: The other 24% are those who let themselves down by succumbing to those "toxic" issues, but not in any sort of way that causes great harm to others.

It's not actually a thing. You have to consider the source, given that it was cooked up by the exceedingly toxic feminist movement which both hates and blames traditional gender roles. Attacking the very notion of masculinity benefits their cause.

And, more generally, it's worth noting that these kinds of incidents only because truly prevalent *after* men and the very idea of masculinity had been consistently under attack for decades (which is particularly noteworthy because it's contributed to the radicalization young men), so the timeline doesn't even work if you're trying to blame it for mass shootings.

Moonjay posted...

Toxic masculinity absolutely exists. From telling boys they're not allowed to cry to treating gentle boys like wussies... To the incredibly toxic ideas of using violence to solve problems and feeling entitled to slave women.

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Zeus posted...

It's not actually a thing. You have to consider the source, given that it was cooked up by the exceedingly toxic feminist movement which both hates and blames traditional gender roles. Attacking the very notion of masculinity benefits their cause.

And, more generally, it's worth noting that these kinds of incidents only because truly prevalent *after* men and the very idea of masculinity had been consistently under attack for decades (which is particularly noteworthy because it's contributed to the radicalization young men), so the timeline doesn't even work if you're trying to blame it for mass shootings.

Moonjay posted...

Toxic masculinity absolutely exists. From telling boys they're not allowed to cry to treating gentle boys like wussies... To the incredibly toxic ideas of using violence to solve problems and feeling entitled to slave women.

why is it so funny to you? What in moon's post is wrong?
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It's very real. For some reason, a lot of men seem to believe admitting that it exists is some kind of betrayal of their gender, which is in turn, the very definition of toxic masculinity. Nobody is trying to say that being a man makes you a bad person, it's a specific attitude within the male community that's being criticized.
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only white guys exude toxic masculinity
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Thanks for proving our point Zeus.
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its just a buzzword to say masculinity is the root of all social problems and to an extent economic problems. A masculine man is typically strong and independent which is the opposite of femininity (which is by nature submissive and dependent). A lot of people don't understand the harmony between both opposites and think by ramping up femininity we'll have world peace. In reality it will be akin to a mother eating her child because shes scared of the future the child faces.
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No. But if there is, then there has to be a "toxic femininity".
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Zeus posted...

Attacking the very notion of masculinity benefits their cause.

"Toxic masculinity" does not mean all masculinity is toxic. That's the exact opposite of how adjectives work.
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No. It's just something insecure SJWs use to demonize people that don't like them.
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Yes it is killing our lakes and rivers
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Toxic masculinity exists, but toxic feminism is far more... toxic. They're trying to merge gender roles because everyone wants to be "independent" these days. Feminists are being lied to, men and women need to work together like they've been doing for millennia.

What, in the way the media portrays it where "evil men are everywhere", all men should be more passive and submissive, and all women should be assertive and dominant?

No.

Let people be who they want to be in their own space unless they are hurting others without consent.

There is room for people to be different in this world. You don't need to, and shouldn't, attempt to force everyone to fit your personal ideal standard.
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That's a no from me. Just another thing for some folk to get hot and bothered about.
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The idea that toxic masculinity isnt a thing is beyond delusional

It exists and is a problem just like toxic feminism
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toxic masculinity is indeed real. i once suffered a bout in my teens when failing to adequately space pumping iron, a forehead beer can crushing, and a surround-sound viewing of _Over the Top_. the blood poisons were higher than the M.D.s had ever seen! my kidneys nearly shut down.

the condition was eventually treated (we can't say "cured" because i'll be at risk until at least age 65) with multiple estrogen injections, crocheting classes, and a marathon of _Fried Green Tomatoes_, _Terms of Endearment_, and _Beaches_. i was close to crying, but never quite got there. so i paid an orderly to repeatedly hit me with a bedpan, then to slice onions by me, so i could finally conjure a tear and be released.

a two-week hospital stay would bankrupt most Americans present-day, which is why it's vital to space your workouts and arm-wrestling film viewings. also, consider switching to bottled beer.
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minervo posted...

Toxic masculinity exists, but toxic feminism is far more... toxic. They're trying to merge gender roles because everyone wants to be "independent" these days. Feminists are being lied to, men and women need to work together like they've been doing for millennia.

Toxic femininity isn't killing people.

VioletZer0 posted...

minervo posted...

Toxic masculinity exists, but toxic feminism is far more... toxic. They're trying to merge gender roles because everyone wants to be "independent" these days. Feminists are being lied to, men and women need to work together like they've been doing for millennia.

Toxic femininity isn't killing people.

Anti-fa is the violent sect of toxic femininity.
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What are some clear examples and definitions of toxic masculinity? I'm not sure acts of violence and are enough because that can be attributed to both genders and just being plain nuts, evil, devious or whatever. Maybe we are just a toxic species.
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myghostisdead posted...

What are some clear examples and definitions of toxic masculinity? I'm not sure acts of violence and are enough because that can be attributed to both genders and just being plain nuts, evil, devious or whatever. Maybe we are just a toxic species.

From what I've seen, seeking success, having high expectations of self (pride) and not expecting anything from others. Basically being dedicated and self-sacrificing makes men toxic as they get more at the cost of their well-being, yet are somehow privileged for naturally leaning towards this methodology.
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

VioletZer0 posted...

minervo posted...

Toxic masculinity exists, but toxic feminism is far more... toxic. They're trying to merge gender roles because everyone wants to be "independent" these days. Feminists are being lied to, men and women need to work together like they've been doing for millennia.

Toxic femininity isn't killing people.

Anti-fa is the violent sect of toxic femininity.

No ANTIFA is made up of men more than women, and they primarily represent anarcho-communism.

Women don't suddenly get kill urges and go on a killing spree.

VioletZer0 posted...

Women don't suddenly get kill urges and go on a killing spree.

Uhh, yeah they fucking do.

VioletZer0 posted...

No ANTIFA is made up of men more than women, and they primarily represent anarcho-communism.

It is made of equity-mongers and male feminists with an incel mentality. The mindset is set in a extreme feminine perspective.
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This is where there needs to be a discernment guys.

Yes its dumb hearing feminists add stupid things like "Manspreading, mansplaining or just general masculinity", however there are some aspects of our masculinity that are toxic and I think this poster had part of it down:
Moonjay posted...

Toxic masculinity absolutely exists. From telling boys they're not allowed to cry to treating gentle boys like wussies...

Poll needs

Yes -and I'm M
Yes -and I'm F
No -and I'm M
No -and I'm F

10/10 white people in 1950 thought black drinking fountains were A OKAY!
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myghostisdead posted...

What are some clear examples and definitions of toxic masculinity? I'm not sure acts of violence and are enough because that can be attributed to both genders and just being plain nuts, evil, devious or whatever. Maybe we are just a toxic species.

Both sexes can be violent but violent crimes and murders against women by men are much higher by far
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Y'all really, really need to learn how arguments work.

"X is bad"
"Well Y is worse!"

That doesn't negate X being bad in any way shape or form.
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Idiocy is always a problem. I do think that male drama queens are worse than female drama queens.
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Lmao, no.
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molokoveloocet0 posted...

Poll needs

Yes -and I'm M
Yes -and I'm F
No -and I'm M
No -and I'm F

10/10 white people in 1950 thought black drinking fountains were A OKAY!

Pretty much.
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For the record I am not a feminist at all. I am a humanist and I think extremist feminism is as stupid as all extremist views.

There is a lot of concentration on how toxic masculinity causes men to do violent things, such as killing women who try to leave them... But toxic masculinity hurts men too. It leaves a lot of men trying to fake who they are not, living in an uncomfortable world of lies because they aren't what is expected of them. It causes depression, low self esteem, self harm. This idea isn't just about man hating.
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Moonjay posted...

For the record I am not a feminist at all. I am a humanist and I think extremist feminism is as stupid as all extremist views.

There is a lot of concentration on how toxic masculinity causes men to do violent things, such as killing women who try to leave them... But toxic masculinity hurts men too. It leaves a lot of men trying to fake who they are not, living in an uncomfortable world of lies because they aren't what is expected of them. It causes depression, low self esteem, self harm. This idea isn't just about man hating.

I know what you mean, real masculinity is gentlemenly behaviour, such as opening the door for someone, being kind to people and standing up for the weaker and oppressed. This whole "i'm hard and i gotta prove it" attitude is stupid and men who are like that should feel ashamed. If more men and women had that kind attitude, the world would be a better place.

True toxic masculinity comes from severe alcoholism and drug abuse especially steroid use, the SJW version of "toxic masculinity" does not exist.
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Some people are just buttholes. Lets lump the female versions in there and just call them buttholes even though it doesn't have that us against them feeling of satisfaction.
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I'm convinced that whole thing is ran by lesbians trying to turn their straight friends gay.
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dancer62 posted...

Idiocy is always a problem. I do think that male drama queens are worse than female drama queens.

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Moonjay posted...

Toxic masculinity absolutely exists. From telling boys they're not allowed to cry to treating gentle boys like wussies... To the incredibly toxic ideas of using violence to solve problems and feeling entitled to slave women.

Good post. It's not just about violence. It's about walking into a room and saying "video games are a waste of time" when they know there's a gamer in there. Guys who are toxic don't tend to know just how toxic they are.

Yes, because I actually understand what the term is referring to. It's far from the most pressing social issue at the moment, though.
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myghostisdead posted...

What are some clear examples and definitions of toxic masculinity?

Emotional unavailability, emotional repression (with the exception of anger, which is considered manly to express), using violence to solve problems (an extension of emotional repression)... Basically any unhealthy or otherwise harmful behaviour that is justified by saying it's manly to do it.
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Yes. Unfortunately a lot of fragile bitch boys think when people talk about toxic masculinity, it somehow means masculinity is being attacked. A man can be 100% masculine and NOT be toxic about it.

adjl posted...

myghostisdead posted...

What are some clear examples and definitions of toxic masculinity?

Emotional unavailability, emotional repression (with the exception of anger, which is considered manly to express), using violence to solve problems (an extension of emotional repression)... Basically any unhealthy or otherwise harmful behaviour that is justified by saying it's manly to do it.

Thanks. This is something to consider. I don't think I know of any men who fit these. You would think I do living in hillbilly country where everything is about hunting, fishing and sports but just as many women do that here as men...I don't..that is why I'm the odd woman who plays videogames.

Now I have seen it depicted on television or in movies but not such a one sided super macho guy in real life. People are more complex than that and they have many different layers to them. Maybe I just hang around good people. I dunno. I have met guys who are jerks but I've met their equal in other women but I don't know if they fit these description. Most violent people I've know were drug users or drunks or just mean and they were of both genders.

Rereading the description that sounds almost like a psychopath, not exactly but some of the same characteristics which can be either male or female but I guess toxic masculinity sounds good. I just don't think it is as prevalent as certain groups claim it to be and some of the things attributed to being toxic masculinity can again be seen in both genders.

This is all my experience though. People may act differently else where.

I bet if people started talking about toxic femininity all Hell would break loose.
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