Board 8 > In a bookstore, something happened, who's in the wrong?

(+) Yeah! (+)

There are two stories connected by escalators. A dude and his two kids (8~ years old) came in the front. The kids ran ahead and ran up the wrong escalator while screaming and laughing. The dude then yelled at them to stop really loudly, so they went up the correct escalator but kept screaming.

An old lady on the second floor got involved and chewed out the guy for not restraining his kids, and he said "I'm here to buy a thirty dollar book, I know it's not a playground." They then had a short argument where she said he's responsible for the noise and disruption in the bookstore.

Everyone seemed kind of unreasonable to me, but maybe B8 has a different opinion.
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Obviously the kids.

The father's responsible for the kids, sure, and ideally he could have been quieter...but also I don't know what else you want him to do there when the kids are still being loud and the old lady's complaining about the kids.
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Mix of the lady and dude. Father's responsible for the kids, but the lady needs to not freak the fuck out.
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The escalator, for being wrong.
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Everyone's wrong, but especially Anagram.
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You can't always get your kids to listen, and they're well aware of the fact there's nothing you can do about it, so sometimes they just act up. Definitely still your responsibility to control them, but if you want to get stuff done sometimes you just have to minimise the damage and proceed as quickly as possible.

Dad should've apologised, old lady should've then stfu and let him get outta there as quickly as possible.
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Everyone, including the store's employees/owners/security

If the kids are being loud and disruptive enough that it's disrupting other customers, it's their responsibility to step in and make sure it gets handled (and if the dad won't handle it, to ask them to leave)
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Johnbobb posted...

Everyone, including the store's employees/owners/security

If the kids are being loud and disruptive enough that it's disrupting other customers, it's their responsibility to step in and make sure it gets handled (and if the dad won't handle it, to ask them to leave)

It sounds like it happened much to quickly to expect staff to need to get involved
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Old lady needs to butt out after the first part imo. She was concerned the dad wasn't doing his part, he demonstrated he was, and she meaninglessly laid into him again to make him feel bad. Like she doesn't think he knows his kids are responsible for the noise? I get that she's inconvenienced but there comes a time in these situations where you're *****ing at someone just to *****.

The kids.
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Janus5k posted...

The escalator, for being wrong.

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the lady is in the right 100%, and the responsibility is with the parent

it's the parent's job to either a) raise their kids to behave correctly in public settings or b) not bring them into said public settings

now, i do know that sometimes life is messy and you just can't get A or B done correctly, but then you just have to suck it up and take the verbal lashing from an old woman every once in a while. life ain't perfect

not to mention, oftentimes i'll find the shouting of parents to be more abrasive than the giggling children themselves

here's a comparison- if i were to bring a litter of puppies into a bookstore, then act all confused when they start chewing on the books, I can't in all honesty say "it's not my fault! it is the dog's!"
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banananor posted...

it's the parent's job to either a) raise their kids to behave correctly in public settings or b) not bring them into said public settings

uh

How do you raise kids to behave correctly in public settings without taking them into said public settings?
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kids are not going to behave correctly in public settings every single time no matter how well you raise them
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BlueCrystalTear posted...

banananor posted...

it's the parent's job to either a) raise their kids to behave correctly in public settings or b) not bring them into said public settings

uh

How do you raise kids to behave correctly in public settings without taking them into said public settings?

i'll answer earnestly- first, you start by raising them to do what you say without you needing to shout
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i'll ask this a different way- if you know they're uncontrollable, why are you bringing them into a quiet space?
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granted, i didn't say that the parent is horrible for allowing this to happen, just that they're the most to blame
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banananor posted...

here's a comparison- if i were to bring a litter of puppies into a bookstore, then act all confused when they start chewing on the books, I can't in all honesty say "it's not my fault! it is the dog's!"

a puppy (or, say, a toddler) can't be held accountable for his actions

an eight-year old absolutely can

also:

LeonhartFour posted...

kids are not going to behave correctly in public settings every single time no matter how well you raise them

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if the child's behaving that way and the dad really isn't trying to get him to behave, then the dad
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I kind of told myself I wouldn't get into these kinds of discussions, but oh well

Gatarix, are you saying the children are most at fault?
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LeonhartFour posted...

kids are not going to behave correctly in public settings every single time no matter how well you raise them

This but the moral arbiters don't deal in reality.
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banananor posted...

Gatarix, are you saying the children are most at fault?

Yeah.

I mean, it's hard to say how much the dad is to blame in this situation. Maybe, as you suggest, he doesn't raise his kids right. Maybe he does and the kids are usually well-mannered but this was an unusual incident. Maybe he's a single dad or otherwise has nobody to take care of the kids while he goes to the bookstore. And once the kids are up the escalator, you kind of have to be loud for them to hear you. So there are lots of factors possibly at work.

But the kids are definitely in the wrong.
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I'm going to say the Old Lady (unless she was a store employee or owner of the store)

The kids were just being kids. Yeah, they can be annoying. But kids aren't going to behave all of the time. People expect you to NEVER take your kids out in public because of it, which is ridiculous.

Dad made an attempt to quiet them down. (How many people obeyed their parents 100% of the time? Raise your hand. Now look at all the people with their hands raised. All those people are what we call liars.)

The old lady however decided to try to shame dad. It wasn't her place at all, and unlike the 8 year olds--she has full culpability. The kids do have some culpability here--as does dad--but the old lady shouldn't have gotten involved unless she worked for the store. At least not in the way she did.
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I always love people all over the internet talking about the "right" way to raise kids. If there is some magical right way don't you think everyone would do it?
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kirbypikachuhat posted...

I always love people all over the internet talking about the "right" way to raise kids. If there is some magical right way don't you think everyone would do it?

I mean, there isn't one right way, but there are definitely wrong ways (this post has nothing to do with judging this specific dad as a parent).
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You for being there and then making this topic and poll and involving us without reason.

After that probably the kids and the old lady should've been more chill. If that dad has screaming children, he really doesn't need to be told he needs to shut them up. Life's probably hard enough already for that guy.
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kirbypikachuhat posted...

I always love people all over the internet talking about the "right" way to raise kids. If there is some magical right way don't you think everyone would do it?

No, because it's hard work and people are shit. Pretty obviously the dads fault.
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RyoCaliente posted...

You for being there and then making this topic and poll and involving us without reason.

After that probably the kids and the old lady should've been more chill. If that dad has screaming children, he really doesn't need to be told he needs to shut them up. Life's probably hard enough already for that guy.

Pretty much. It's not like he wasn't trying to calm them down.

plus I can understand the temptation to run up the wrong side of the escalator
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>kids ran up the "wrong" escalator

Definitely not the kids.
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You know what doesn't help parents have authority over their children? Watching them get chewed out by complete strangers over minor, short incidents.

The old lady
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The kids. I was a kid once, never went around screaming in public about it