Board 8 > I fucking hate Gun.Smoke

(+) Yeah! (+)

That fucking dumbass Capcom shoot em up from the 80s

its just the god damn worst

I'm playing it on the Capcom Arcade Cabinet and I can't save

I've been stuck on Level 6 for the past 3 hours

They don't start you off right where you died like any good arcade game

they have fucking checkpoints. Awkward ones. They start you off naked in a middle of an 8 man shoot out. and your dude is slow as shit

AND one hit deaths

then you go back

fuck whoever made this game
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The hitboxes on your bullets is pathetic, your bullets just don't hit anything

I swear theres some sort of Button Input reading thing going on. They shoot either so precise or so wild that you just die either way. Sometimes they have no reason to shoot where they shoot but hey, you end up running into it.

the bosses just don't get hurt by your bullets

I know god damn well I'm shooting them but their life isn't going down

I know its not like, a thing where you have to hit them enough times for them to register damage. Sometimes it happens in one hit. Other times they literally standt here for seconds at a time and soak up shit loads of bullets

also the worst thing that pisses me off

YOU DIE FROM CONTACT

OKAY I GET IT. THAT HAPPENS IN ALOT OF FUCKING GAMES

BUT HERE, THEY DON"T CLUB YOU, THEY DON"T STRIKE YOU, THEY"RE NOT WEARING SPIKES, LIKE IN SMASH TV

YOU JUST DROP DEAD

HOW DOES NUDGING SHOULDERS WITH A GUY MAKE YOUR BRAIN TO CEASE FUNCTIONING AND YOUR HEART STOP PUMPING?

I'm so mad because I DIDN"T KNOW I SPENT 4 HOURS ON THIS SHIT NOW

ITS FUCKING 4 AM

I"M JUST HERE, NOT WANTING TO START OVER, SO TRYING TO BEAT THE GAME, BUT STILL ON THE SAME FUCKING LEVEL, AND OH HEY, ITS LATE AS SHIT

BECAUSE OF THIS SHITTY ASS GAME
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a guy SHOT PAST ME and it hit me because I backed up into it

WHAT LOGICAL REASON DOES HE HAVE TO NOT SHOOT ME BUT TO SHOOT PAST ME UNLESS HE KNEW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN

FUCKING BUTTON INPUT READING SHIT

YES, I KNOW THIS IS AN ARCADE GAME DESIGNED TO DRAIN QUARTERS BUT FUCK THIS GAME ANYWAYS
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I guess at 4am Pun turns into Preston.
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Most people like the NES version over the Arcade version
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Yeah the NES version is a bit different

Capcom liked to do that a lot, though there are a few cases where the arcade version is still better (Commando)
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I've only played the NES version
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Imagine playing the NES version back in the days with no checkpoints at all.

I don't remember making this topic
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v1Ikh6-9zA
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I also thought this was about the TV show and was surprised that you knew of it and had such strong feelings toward it.
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The nes game was one of my favorites when I was a kid.
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at least with the NES game there were shops. You could buy the Horse power up WAYYYYY more often

also I plugged in my turbo controller and had it rapid fire one of the top buttons and left it on at the pause menu over night so the PS3 doesn't turn off and destroy my progress

it still took a few tries, but I beat the level I was stuck on just now. Isn't that how it usually goes?
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Never played the arcade version, but the NES version is one of the all time greats.
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so funny enough, that stage 6 toughened me up so much that I past the next 2 levels with relative ease

like it took me 30 minutes

but now on this stage, the checkpoint before the boss provides NO powerups.

and this guy has a machine gun now btw and moves super fast

this actually might be impossible now
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hour 2 on the last stage on the last boss

well, bosses

you fight THREE guys with a constant group of at least 8 mooks on screen

What were they trying to hide by making this game so fucking hard?

whats in the credits? A naked chick?
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also, while I had it out, I tried using a turbo controller

it doesn't fucking work

so I've discovered that the mook's dodging speed is tied to how fast you hit your button

So if you have the turbo goin, they're fuckin flyin all over the god damn screen

SO YEA, IF YOU HAD AMAZING FINGERS YOU WERE FUCKING PUNISHED FOR BEING GOOD
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I can actually kill two of the bosses and then damage the last one at least once

thats the furthest I've gotten
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Okay, this much passion got me interested, too. I'm rooting for you!
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I'm still doin it ;_;

fuck man

killing the first two bosses and hitting the last guy once is still the farthest I can make it

and by that I mean I've done it multiple times

I can't go farther than that!

I got the hi score by doing like 2 levels in a row. I mentioned it earlier

I beat that hi score by staying alive a very long time in the last boss fight

I can't score another hit on him!

Even at my best at killing his mooks and dodging bullets

UGHHHHH
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I wish there was a god damn bomb weapon

something to clear out the screen? like 2 per life?

That thing thats common in shoot em ups?

THAT
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the dynamite has no fucking rhyme or reason

either it will flash and not explode all day or it'll instantly detonate the second it hits the ground
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one important thing to note is that YOU CAN'T FUCKING SHOOT BESIDE YOU

BUT YOUR ENEMIES CAN

shooting behind you is sorely missed too
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the purple sniper mook fucks look like the Wookies from Captain Commando

I wonder if thats where they got it from
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if one of the bosses reaches the bottom of the screen, its over
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theres still an active hitbox for at least one frame after an explosion's animation is over

its fucking irritating dying from one of those
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I can't look up guides because everybody just beats it on one quarter, so that means they never died and thus never lose their power ups.

The have 5 of each power up and a horse on the last bosses. THAT DOESN"T HELP ME

You can apparently be GOOD at this fucking game? WHAT
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Its hard to explain

but the hardest enemy is the game is also the easiest

hes the goomba and the hammer bro at the same time

Hes the goomba because hes the most common, dies in one hit, nothing super special about him

but hes the fucking elite mook too because he moves faster than you, has farther range than you, and can shoot from the sides and behind you

the worst part about that is that you can't touch the bottom of the screen. theres like an inch between you and the bottom that you can't reach past

THIS MOOK CAN DANCE BETWEEN THAT

so he just circles around you and theres nothing you can fucking do
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if you walk past the sniper dudes

then won't turn upwards and shoot you

only when you see each other

The goomba fuck turns around and starts shooting upwards at you. and again, YOU CAN'T SHOOT BEHIND YOU

and you can't just keep your back to the bottom of the screen BECAUSE IT WON'T LET YOU

BUT IT LETS HIM
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you can't sit still because EVERYBODY IS SHOOTING AT YOU LIKE THEY HAVE MACHINE GUNS

but if you try to sway to the sides

YOU DIE BECAUSE THE ENEMIES POP OUT FROM THE SIDES

AND YO FUCKING DIE FROM CONTACT

I"M NOT OVER THAT

IN HIS WORLD, WHAT EXACTLY KILLED THE COWBOY?

WHAT DOES THE FUCKING CORONER SAY
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I think the game just cheated me

so i hit the last boss again once

I survived his onslaught of bullets and mooks for about a solid minute

but then a sniper just popped out INFRONT OF ME, shot me, and then left IMMEDIATELY

when the snipers are supposed to stay there for about 4 seconds

the game did that on fucking purpose
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I can't fucking believe its about to be 4am again

god this fucking piece of shit game
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I dunno if its a glitch or the game is FUCKIN testin me

but sometimes the barrel containing the rifle doesn't spawn

fighting the bosses without that slight bit of range because even more impossibl e
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I'm very interested in all this frustration.

Punnyz posted...

at least with the NES game there were shops. You could buy the Horse power up WAYYYYY more often

Have you have played the NES version then, and what did you think?
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while I fucking hate the game, yea, I decided to point out everything thats making this game shit to everybody that hasn't played it

also hopefully venting and me pointing out the programming quirks will lighten the load in my head a bit

I liked the NES version enough I guess. I played it when I was little.

Thats why I jumped to this game when I booted up the Capcom Cabinet game.

nothing like it
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you have to get in their line of fire to shoot them

and they have better default range than you and they can shoot in 360 degree angles

I think thats what makes this game god awful
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the one of the fucking worst things that happens is when i'm backing up and a fuckball pops out from the sides and we touch backs AND I DIE

YES I"M COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS SHIT AGAIN

HOW DOES DOING ASS TO ASS KILL ME
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I've figured out when you get to the boss "room" (Boss screen?)

theres 3 bridged

the left and right ones are pretty narrow and its where the first two bosses appear

instead of facing down the bridge, if you move the guy slightly to the left or right, you can aim upwards and shoot the bosses while they shoot and miss you.

Their bullets come out slightly to the side so I can actually kill these guys as soon as they appear
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you would think I would have the stroll from the checkpoint to the boss screen completely down to a science

but no!

This game is just so full of random bullshit that sometimes I spend an entire continue without seeing the bosses!

I HAVE figured out other things though

There ARE specific enemy placements and their flags get triggered when you reach a certain point

and guess what, those Goomba Hammer bro fucks are BY FAR the most common enemy on this stroll

BUT I also figured out that the game has a limit of how many enemies can be on screen. its about 8-10

if the game has reached this limit, the enemy flags don't get triggered

this can work to your advantage because you can let enemies that are easier to deal with live so you down't spawn harder to fight enemies

so what I do is I let the guys that chuck dynamites live as long as I can

the random nature of the fucking dynamites is a gigantic pain in the ass still, but its much better than having 10 guys literally running circles around me

I can't believe I'm figuring this game out this much >___>

But I suppose it would be worse if I spent all of this time on it and didn't learn this
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I HIT THE FINAL BOSS A SECOND TIME

but then I dropped dead

I'm 98% positive I didn't get shot

fucking bullshit
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you can eventually learn what enemies spawn where

but its completely random once you reach the Boss Screen

theres absolutely no predicting it and you are at the complete mercy of the Game's RNG

you might get all snipers, you can get a mix, or you can get those goomba fucks the entire time
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I think the most fascinating thing about this topic is the consant use of "mook"; I swear I hadn't seen that word used in a non-ironic context in my life.
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Punnyz posted...

you would think I would have the stroll from the checkpoint to the boss screen completely down to a science

but no!

This game is just so full of random bullshit that sometimes I spend an entire continue without seeing the bosses!

I HAVE figured out other things though

There ARE specific enemy placements and their flags get triggered when you reach a certain point

and guess what, those Goomba Hammer bro fucks are BY FAR the most common enemy on this stroll

BUT I also figured out that the game has a limit of how many enemies can be on screen. its about 8-10

if the game has reached this limit, the enemy flags don't get triggered

this can work to your advantage because you can let enemies that are easier to deal with live so you down't spawn harder to fight enemies

so what I do is I let the guys that chuck dynamites live as long as I can

the random nature of the fucking dynamites is a gigantic pain in the ass still, but its much better than having 10 guys literally running circles around me

I can't believe I'm figuring this game out this much >___>

But I suppose it would be worse if I spent all of this time on it and didn't learn this

Hey, once you beat the game you'll be able to submit a guide!
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this tale ends because I set up my turbo controller to be pressing a button so I could take a nap

I come back to my game room and the turbo controller fell to the ground and it knocked off the rubber band. The PS3 has turned off
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I wish I had a way to record gameplay

I would love to capture footage and make a fucking AVGN episode out of this
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my left thumb hurts SO much man

Over the past 25 years I've developed a callus on my thumb

BUT IT STILL HURT SRIGHT NOW

I think this is the hardest I've ever played

and thats including fighting games online and shit
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you couldn't have gone into settings and told the console not to turn itself off?
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I thought about that but I was afraid it would've resetted the console or something
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*stares at the Gun.Smoke start screen*

Am I really thinking about doing this again

I JUST WATCHED THE DEMO AND HE DIES WITHIN 5 SECONDS

EVEN THE GAME DOESN"T WANT TO PLAY WITH ITSELF
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If you don't beat it now, it will haunt you forever. Just make sure you fix your Playstation's configuration first.
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