Board 8 > Name a Character and I Will Rate Them: The Return

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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:25:23 PM
#1:


It's been a whopping 25 weeks since I've posted one of these classic topics. Engage your senses in this blatant nostalgia cash-in and start naming characters; I will reciprocate with a completely biased rating in return, replete with a snotty sentence or two that glosses over the deeper reasons I rated the character as I did.

Rules:

1) One character per post. Please wait to post a second character until I've rated the previous one.

2) Please do not duplicate characters. You can track what has been rated here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/13up0eHkRiwatuujUumj-DWyLzpXMJIqltQCh-Aym7rY/edit?usp=sharing
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"Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer
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Johnbobb
09/08/17 5:26:18 PM
#2:


Danny Phantom
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Khal Kirby, warlord of the Super Star Khalasar
PSN/Steam: CheddarBBQ http://i.imgur.com/sRNNOSP.png
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VeryInsane
09/08/17 5:28:01 PM
#3:


Tidus
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Warning: I'm literally VeryInsane.
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Shonen_Bat
09/08/17 5:28:12 PM
#4:


Tom (Tom and Jerry)
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boring placeholder signature
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:29:19 PM
#5:


Johnbobb posted...
Danny Phantom

Rating: 21/100
The forgettable star of an obnoxious, by-the-numbers stale show where characters lack a soul and instead give contrived and generic responses to various unoriginal stimuli in lieu of having actual personality. Also depending on which direction he is facing, his hair flips either way do to the laziness of the writers.

Trash.
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DoctorBIind
09/08/17 5:29:58 PM
#6:


Cersei Lannister
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Dragon66116
09/08/17 5:31:42 PM
#7:


Dry Bones
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Suddenly, Mudkips. Thousands of them.(preferably OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Congrats to BKSheikah, 2017 Guru champ.
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:31:50 PM
#8:


VeryInsane posted...
Tidus

Rating: 46/100
A sword-wielding version of Dorothy Gale with daddy issues, Tidus is a character that may or may not exist solely to provide a fading sports star with his final penance. Tidus himself is dragged down by a cast of fats and furries that seem to believe that the world is worth saving. Trust me, Tidus. This world is, at best, the 6th best in the series so far. Let it die - something better will come along. Go play Madden Blitz League 02 instead.
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Anagram
09/08/17 5:32:05 PM
#9:


Sonic the Hedgehog
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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
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VeryInsane
09/08/17 5:32:34 PM
#10:


Jecht
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Warning: I'm literally VeryInsane.
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:34:18 PM
#11:


Shonen_Bat posted...
Tom (Tom and Jerry)

Rating: 30/100

No one has ever given me a logical reason for why I should invest myself in the definition of insanity. That is, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's why CSI is terrible and Big Bang Theory is unwatchable. I need evolution. I need a logical progression of a character through development and dynamic understanding of the world around him or her. Tom may be a charismatic lead, but he is ultimately frustrating and killing me softly with his utterly redundant antics. When I first watched Tom and Jerry around age five, I found it childish.

And I was five.
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:36:17 PM
#12:


DoctorBIind posted...
Cersei Lannister

Rating: 61/100

Through the first few seasons, the nuance to Cersei was staggering. There was such a depth to the character that despite her complete shortcomings as a human being, you could easily be suckered in to believing her charade; that she cared for Robert at some point, that her children actually mattered most to her, that she was in fact in love with Jaime. But the last two seasons have destroyed the sense of craftsmanship that went into Cersei and have instead allowed her to stagnate as the show has focused on the more marketable stars. A high price to pay when you run out of source material.
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Snake5555555555
09/08/17 5:36:33 PM
#13:


Claire Redfield (Resident Evil)
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:37:45 PM
#14:


Dragon66116 posted...
Dry Bones

Rating: 26/100

Barely what I could consider a character; Dry Bones has solo appearances as a playable star in some Party/Sports games, but quite frankly I have nothing to say about every vapid cardboard cutout that hops around on red and blue circles at the discretion of a computerized die.
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Menji
09/08/17 5:37:51 PM
#15:


Hitagi Senjougahara
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Shonen_Bat
09/08/17 5:40:59 PM
#16:


Ganondorf
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:41:03 PM
#17:


Anagram posted...
Sonic the Hedgehog

Rating: 56/100

Sort of the average, run-of-the-mill star for a children's franchise. Sonic lacks much nuance; he's a design primarily, style over substance. He successfully paints a personality in the most basic and broad strokes, but he excels at serving as a medium around which you can build a platforming game. Just don't ask him to carry the lead role of Othello or anything.
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Anagram
09/08/17 5:41:37 PM
#18:


Rosalina (Mario)
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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
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My Immortal
09/08/17 5:42:05 PM
#19:


Juliet Burke
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#VnaaVimmDrnuddma
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Calintares
09/08/17 5:42:22 PM
#20:


Scrooge McDuck
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ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die.
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Johnbobb
09/08/17 5:42:23 PM
#21:


BoJack Horseman
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Khal Kirby, warlord of the Super Star Khalasar
PSN/Steam: CheddarBBQ http://i.imgur.com/sRNNOSP.png
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BetrayedTangy
09/08/17 5:43:09 PM
#22:


Dean Pelton (Community)
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My Quest to beat the Final Fantasies: I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XII XIII XV
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:43:48 PM
#23:


VeryInsane posted...
Jecht

Rating: 58/100

I think Jecht would have most benefited from a more pronounced and obvious drinking problem. Jecht is the rough sort of "Ugly" that is described in the titular role of "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly". He's a mess, lost morally and devoid of motivation. He floats through life without much of a conscience to keep him in check, and the one time he finally found the balls to do something right, it panned out so spectacularly for him that the entire world came to fear his very presence. Still, he's entertaining.
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:46:11 PM
#24:


Snake5555555555 posted...
Claire Redfield (Resident Evil)

Rating: 63/100

One of the better icons in the myriad heap of attractive women who shoot at and/or run away from undead creepazoids. Claire isn't exactly a master of lockpicking or anything, but she gets the job done and she fits well into a franchise keen on creating cool and inoffensive leads that shoot the shit out of random white zombified white people (except for the fifth game).
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Snake5555555555
09/08/17 5:47:05 PM
#25:


First of the Fallen
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:47:38 PM
#26:


Menji posted...
Hitagi Senjougahara

Rating: 20/100
Having never seen this character before, I looked up a picture to give a cursory rating. I discovered an anime girl, and that was enough to earn a terrible rating.
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"Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:51:17 PM
#27:


Shonen_Bat posted...
Ganondorf

Rating: 94/100
Ganondorf is quite a unique character, one who is so well built outside of his actual appearances. Ancient tales enshroud him in an air of terrible power. Timeless myths actually empower him with the gift of legend, and just the hushed tones that speak of him herald a being of immense evil and even more stultifying magic. In a series that has always placed a premium on an economy of dialogue and exposition, Ganondorf uses the brevity of the Zelda style of narrative to great effect. Without overextending his stay on screen, just the brief tastes and hints have created a true main event heel. This is THE boss.
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WickIebee
09/08/17 5:51:41 PM
#28:


Oh... the list has started over. Eh.

Arkantos (Age of Mythology)
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:52:48 PM
#29:


Anagram posted...
Rosalina (Mario)

Rating: 83/100

The story of innocence unchecked and adulthood lost is the story of Rosalina, the child that never was forced to live in the cruel reality of maturity. Rosalina is a fairy tale taken to its logical conclusion, and the results are quite enamoring.
---
"Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:55:44 PM
#30:


My Immortal posted...
Juliet Burke

Rating: 96/100
Utterly adorable in every way, Juliet has these captivating eyes that smile with the rest of her face in such a way that you can see this painful melancholy lurking beneath the surface. Juliet has always been the object of other people's directives, never given her own chance to explore her own future happiness, and all the way until the end of the series, she is forced to be defined by the men around her; whenever she is given the chance to rebel, you naturally have to root for her.
---
"Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:57:09 PM
#31:


Calintares posted...
Scrooge McDuck

Rating: 44/100
I've enjoyed exactly one Scrooge story in my life - "The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck" by Carl Barks. It was the one and only time I haven't seen Scrooge as a two-dimensional caricature of the Before picture in A Christmas Carol.
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Xeybozn
09/08/17 5:58:14 PM
#32:


The Tramp (Charlie Chaplin movies)
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Congrats to 2017 Guru champ BKSheikah!
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 5:58:38 PM
#33:


Johnbobb posted...
BoJack Horseman

Rating: 49/100

I admittedly have only watched a couple episodes of this series, but I'm going to be entirely honest - I'm not a huge fan of Will Arnett. He turns every role into the same character. I'm not even entirely convinced it's a character anymore. Much like Will Smith, Arnett might just be playing himself.
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My Immortal
09/08/17 5:58:43 PM
#34:


James "Sawyer" Ford
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#VnaaVimmDrnuddma
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Anagram
09/08/17 6:01:29 PM
#35:


Quark (Star Trek)
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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:01:37 PM
#36:


BetrayedTangy posted...
Dean Pelton (Community)

Rating: Seven-Dean Two Out of One Hundred
At first I thought the character was irredeanably unfunny, but as time has passed, I realized that my first impression was a misdeanagnosis. Craig Pelton by not be a connoisseur of the most deancerning form of humor, but there is a certain depth to his character, and I would hate to deanigrate that by deanfining him by his penchant for puns and fancy outfits. By the end of the series, Craig was easily one of the best aspects of a show chock-full to the brim with great characters.
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VeryInsane
09/08/17 6:02:46 PM
#37:


Geralt of Rivia
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:03:25 PM
#38:


Snake5555555555 posted...
First of the Fallen

Rating: 69/100

When you can't use Lucifer, what do you do? Well, in the world of John Constantine, you just make a new Lucifer and run with him. Despite being the Second of His Name, First of the Fallen ended up being a fantastic adversary for the Hellblazer himself. We all knew that he was a stand-in, but we never cared.
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"Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:05:01 PM
#39:


WickIebee posted...
Oh... the list has started over. Eh.

Arkantos (Age of Mythology)

Rating: 70/100

I have a soft spot for the man who is best known for awakening. Arkantos fit seamlessly into the tapestry of Greek mythology, and his unique style of leadership and tactics made him a sleeper favorite for me in the world of the real time strategy game.
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PrinceKaro
09/08/17 6:07:34 PM
#40:


Spongebob Squarepants
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all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time...
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:07:52 PM
#41:


Xeybozn posted...
The Tramp (Charlie Chaplin movies)

Rating: 58/100

I think there's a certain generational disconnect for me when it comes to the films of the 30s. While I certainly love some of Chaplin's seminal works, I never particularly cared for the characters themselves. I respect his acting work immensely, but I just find the role incapable of relation for me personally.
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:08:41 PM
#42:


My Immortal posted...
James "Sawyer" Ford

Rating: 75/100
Son of a bitch.
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My Immortal
09/08/17 6:09:28 PM
#43:


Hmmmmmm

Creed Bratton
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Shonen_Bat
09/08/17 6:09:35 PM
#44:


Jack Skellington
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:10:18 PM
#45:


Anagram posted...
Quark (Star Trek)

Rating: 46/100

I'm a little bit racist. I hate Ferengis. I think they are so one-note and utterly awful, and I think they have the worst make-up jobs of modern Star Trek races. It looks so plastic-y. Quark bares the brunt (get it) of my hate because he's the most prolific and therefore noticeable Ferengi. But they all suck. We should build a wall around this quadrant and make the Ferengis pay for it.
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:11:50 PM
#46:


VeryInsane posted...
Geralt of Rivia

Rating: 81/100

Geralt is just your average, run-of-the-mill well-developed bad ass with a unique personality and deep, causally sound set of motivations. You can't go too wrong with a character like Geralt.
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Anagram
09/08/17 6:12:29 PM
#47:


Satan (Paradise Lost)
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Started: July 6, 2005
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BetrayedTangy
09/08/17 6:14:47 PM
#48:


Richard Nixon (Futurama)
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:15:32 PM
#49:


PrinceKaro posted...
Spongebob Squarepants

Rating: 8/100

A character designed with about as much depth as a pool in the Sahara Desert. Using a shrill voice and stale jokes, SpongeBob has enraptured the minds of every below average IQ elementary schooler of the last decade and a half, allowing them to be cocooned safe in a bubble of their own mediocrity, content to know that one can be successful in this world simply by flaunting their own obnoxiousness and stupidity.
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scarletspeed7
09/08/17 6:17:14 PM
#50:


My Immortal posted...
Hmmmmmm

Creed Bratton

Rating: 92/100
Creed Bratton, better known as a founding member of the Grass Roots, once confused a potato with an apple. He also hates Andrea, the office bitch. And he's turning 20. Next year.
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