Board 8 > voltch and Nee are still watching every single WWF/E PPV

(+) Yeah! (+)

At least The Rock is awesome and will never leave.

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Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
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I'm trying to catch up!

Survivor Series 1999

HHH doesn't just have to fight Rock now, he has to fight Austin too.

Live from Joe Louis Arena in Detroit! I've been there more times than I could count.

Crowd pleaser Godfather kicks things off with a new intro to his theme. D-Lo is allies with Godfather once more.

Godfather, D-Lo Brown & Headbangers vs. Dudley Boyz & The Acolytes

I can't tell Mosh and Thrasher apart with these afro wigs on. Wait, there goes the wig, this is Mosh.

Bradshaw gets in, he's so powerful. Out goes Thrasher.

Only 18,000 in Joe Louis and it's sold out? That sure doesn't sound right.

3D from the Dudleys and Mosh is out. This face team isn't doing this right. Here comes D-Lo, crowd loves this guy.

Bradshaw has a chair, he's angry at D-Lo. He also hits Devon with a chair, he's not happy with him. Bradshaw's gone, heels are in-fighting. Faarooq and Bubba Ray going at it.

Well somehow it's down to Bubba against the two former Nation members. D-Lo kicks out of a power bomb. Godfather's in, ho train, D-Lo with a frog train and these two win.

It always seems like it's Tim White dancing with the ho's after matches. Poor other refs.

Kurt Angle won an Olympic gold medal! Let's hear about him. "Most celebrated real athlete" ha.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kurt Angle

Finally seeing this Shawn Stasiak in action. And as for Angle, are we supposed to like or hate him? Reaction is pretty much nothing right now.

"Boring" chants 15 seconds into the match, ha. This crowd doesn't want a debut. Things start off with a series of grapples and holds.

"LET'S GO RED WINGS" is the chant now, yessss.

Stasiak's starting to beat down Angle. Sidewalk slam and a suplex.

Angle grabs a mic and tells the crowd not to boo a gold medalist. Well then, guess he's going the heel route.

A couple slams and covers from Angle, can't get the cover. Stasiak with a facebuster, but misses a crossbody. Angle hits a fallaway slam and wins.

HHH and his D-X friends tried to beat up Austin and Rock on Heat, but failed.

HELLO LADIES

Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel & Steve Blackman vs. British Bulldog & Mean Street Posse

Wonder how well the Posse can wrestle wearing sweater vests.

Wait, who the hell are the faces in this match?

Bulldog gets Val with his signature vertical suplex. Guess these two aren't tag partners anymore. Pete Gas in for a slingshot, but Venis hits a bulldog.

Blackman's in, Pete Gas is dead. In comes Rodney, facing Gangrel. Gangrel dodges a double team and DDTs Rodney out of here.

Mark Henry comes in fight Joey Abs. Well, Joey's gone. Holy crap Merk Henry throws Bulldog way into the air.

Bulldog superplexes Gangrel and gets an elimination. Blackman with a couple nice moves, but he gets pinned with a fishermen suplex.

Venis almost caught in a rollup, Mark Henry breaks it up. Bulldog's fighting both at once. Mark Henry gets in some splashes during Venis distraction. Money shot and Val with a pin.

Ladies are hitting on Michael Cole. They're all more built than him.

Why is Mae Young still alive. This is a "sudden death" match. She has a good chance at winning that.

Mae Young, Fabulous Moolah, Tori & Debra vs. Jacqueline, Luna Vachon, Terri Runnels & Ivory

Moolah and Mae jump Ivory. Tori comes in and Jacqueline botches a duoble team.

Moolah slams Ivory, that's surprising. Moolah and Mae double team Ivory and what there's a pin.

There's some brawling after the match. It's like fighting grandma.

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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

X-Pac's gone to full on heel now, nobody liked him anyway.

X-Pac vs. Kane

X-Pac jumps Kane during the fireworks, but punching the big guy won't work. Kane tries going to the top, drop kicking him up there will work.

Spinning heel kicks may knock Kane down, but he sits right up. He wants a bronco buster, but Kane grabs X-Pac's neck. Back breaker, boot to the face, and a flying clothesline.

Chokeslam, and Road Dogg runs out to pull Kane away. X factor on Kane, but he gets up from the cover.

Tombstone setup, but HHH runs out and hits Kane. DQ win for Kane, D-X keeps beating up Kane. Wonder what happened to Billy Gunn. Tori comes to save Kane, he kicks her down.

Here's a Rock interview. HHH interrupts this and these two are fighting.

Big Show doesn't want help in this match. He beats up the Blue Meanie and Kaientai before the match.

Prince Albert, Mideon, Viscera & Big Bossman vs. The Big Show

Mideon chokeslammed, he's gone. Thank god.

Prince Albert chokeslammed and out too. Now Viscera is slammed, crowd pops big. Chokeslam. Viscera's gone.

Bossman's the only one left. Bossman doesn't even want to get in the ring, he runs away and gets counted out.

Austin interview, HHH jumps in to interrupt this one too. Hey, I've been in this backstage area before. Austin chases to the parking lot, he gets hit by a car.

This ambulance segment is taking forever. We all know Austin will drive the ambulance back to the arena like he did in some past PPV. Lawler talking like it's a big tragedy.

But forget about Austin, here comes Jericho. Chyna finally has her own theme music.

Chris Jericho vs. Chyna

Miss Kitty's with Chyna now, she's dyed her hair black. Her and Chyna trying to kick Jericho, that won't keep him down.

"JERICHO JERICHO JERICHO" are the cheers, a good chunk of the crowd wants him to win. Chyna with a drop kick.

Chyna with a waist lock and Jericho kicks downstairs. He points at his head, pretty much picking up this rivalry where Jarrett left off. Chyna with a hurricanrana.

Jericho with a springboard crossbody from the top rope, nice move.

The padding on the barriers are being pulled away, and he throws Chyna right into them. Missile drop kick now.

Surprise inside cradle from Chyna but it's a two count. Jericho with a vertical suplex to put Bulldog to shame. Speaking of which, Jericho hits a bulldog now.

Clothesine to the outside, Jericho grabs Miss Kitty and smooches her. Chyna hits a spear.

Power bomb from Jericho, he holds her up there for a bit. She's somehow kicking out. He tries a moonsault, it misses.

Some flips and a springboard elbow from Chyna. Oh no, she accidentally bumps Tim White. Jericho grabs the belt and hits out Chyna, but she kicks out of his cover. Crowd wanted that win.

Pedigree time, Jericho kicks out. Chyna wants another hurricanrana, Jericho catches her and turns it into a crab. Walls of Jericho! Chyna somehow gets the ropes and the crowd boos heavily.

Chyna hits a low blow, here's a pedigree from the top rope. Chyna gets the pin, boo.

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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

HHH feels bad about what happened to Austin, but he certainly doesn't want it to be a triple threat match.

Hollys still weigh 400 pounds each.

Hardcore & Crash Holly & Too Cool vs. Edge, Christian & Hardy Boyz

Guess the Hardys aren't feuding with Edge & Christian anymore, that ladder match pushed everyone to fan favorites.

Scotty and Edge trading chops. This crowd knows to WOOOO.

Crash and Matt in. Matt's going for covers after every move. He catches Crash and knocks him outside, then follows with a crossbody over the top.

Grandmaster Sexay hits a sunset flip over the top to knock down Matt. Then Christian hits a springboard splash. Scotty with a dive too. Jeff Hardy gets flipped over the top, he lands on Crash.

Hollys are double teaming Christian, now Grandmaster is in and Lawler praises him. He's thrown into the camera man, the camera man dies.

Edge spears Hardcore and Crash. Now Grandmaster gets one. Scotty with a leap, Matt gets hurt by the next spear by mistake. More run ins, Hardcore with a surprise rollup pin on Edge.

Scotty hits Matt with a DDT and gets Matt out.

Scotty trips Jeff and does the worm. Too Sexy double teams to power bomb Jeff. Dropkick to the back.

All the men in the ring now, Hollys are beating Christian down, and Too Cool are beating Jeff.

Oh hey Hollys are fighting each other now and Terri's trying to distract everyone. Christian hits a pair of low blows.

450 splash from Jeff and Scotty is out. Jeff and Christian are double teaming well now. Oh wait Jeff springboards into a drop kick and he's out.

Reverse DDT from Christian gets Grandmaster out.

Crash with a crab as Hardcore hits some kicks. Christian tries to escape a double team, caught in a backslide, but he drops Crash's face down and pins.

Victory roll, Hardcore counters it and he gets the pin to win.

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow & Mankind

Mankind's book is selling well as he takes a neckbreaker. Now he's getting double teamed, but ducks a punch and Road Dogg smacks Billy.

Walmart stopped selling Al Snow action figures, I remember hearing about this.

Al Snow's got a chair, he hits Road Dogg with it. Now Mankind hits him with it.

Lots and lots of kicks from Al Snow, I lost count.

Oh hey all four guys in now. Billy uses his elbows. Road Dogg whips Snow into the corner and does some crotch chops. Now he gets in some kicks and an eye gouge.

Everyone in again, fameasser on Mankind. He kicks out of a cover, here's a double arm DDT and Snow hits a snow plow. Socko's on, Billy in the mandible claw. Road Dogg too, but they kick free.

Snow uses head to knock out Billy, but by the time there's a cover, he's up.

Outlaws with a double team piledriver, they get the pin and keep their belts.

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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

Who's gonna be the third man in the main event if Austin's out? It's not like Austin's never driven an ambulance back to the arena before.

The Rock vs. HHH vs. The Big Show

Crowd's gonna be pissed that it's not Austin. Big Show getting a big push tonight.

Both guys punching Big Show, he fights back with some headbutts and boots. Almost a chokeslam on HHH.

Rock with some chops, Big Show gets clotheslined out of the ring. He pulls Rock out too but gets pushed into the ringpost.

Legsweep on Big Show, HHH thrown out of the ring, here's the elbow! HHH breaks up the cover.

Rock getting double teamed here, facebuster to sidewalk slam. Big Show takes HHH out of the ring now, into the barricades. Rock joins them and puches HHH right through a table.

Big Show's taking it to HHH, but Rock grabs a fire extinguisher and knocks down Big Show. Rock suplexes HHH on the concrete! HHH reaches up and hits Big Show with a low blow.

"ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!" He's the only one standing now. He tries going to the ring, HHH with a suplex.

Rock with a mouthful of water, he spits it in Big Show's face. HHH thrown into a table, this one stays in one piece. HHH and Rock double suplex Big Show, he goes through the spanish announce table!

Into the crowd go Rock and HHH. People are all in the way, they push their way through while fighting. Big Show is still dead.

Earl Hebner stuck in no man's land during a whip, Rock knocks him out. HHH wants the pedigree but the Rock counters. Slingshot to the corner, rock bottom. But there's no ref.

Here comes Shane in a ref shirt, two count and HHH kicks out. Another rock bottom! Big Show pulls away Shane now.

Right into the stairs with Rock. HHH wants to use the belt, Shane stops him but suffers a pedigree.

D-X is here, they're beating up Rock and Big Show, here comes Vince. Vince grabs the belt and knocks out HHH. Big Show with a chokeslam and he wins the belt? I didn't see that coming.

Really though, the crowd would pop for anyone beating HHH at this point, but I figured with Austin out it would give Rock the biggest pop to win. Well, Big Show did end up squashing four men then winning the belt in one night.

Star of the PPV: The Big Show

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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

Royal Rumble 2000

Wow what happened, Mankind has lost the mask and is in a title match? What the hell just happened?

Kurt Angle is coming out, he's going to be facing an opponent to be named. Angle disses Patrick Ewing.

Wow, this is an amazing theme, who the hell is this coming out, he's got a towel on his face, I have no idea who this is.


Kurt Angle vs Tazz

Dear god, it's another ECW reject, he's taking it to Angle though. Suplex on the outside from Tazz. Angle with a boot to the face in the corner.

Here are a bunch of suplexes from Kurt Angle and Tazz bounces on the ropes dropping Angle. SUPERPLEX, but foot on the rope. Inside craddle from Angle but Tazz kicks out.

Another german supelx from Angle and Tazz is showing Angle how to perform a suplex and there's two of them and another one. Here's a chokehold and Angle is fading and fading fast.

DEAR GOD, TAZZ WINS! ANGLE IS STILL DOWN!


The Hardyz don't want Terri to come at ringside because they'll be wrestling the damn Dudleyz.

Out come the Dudleyz to talk trash to the crowd. Yeah how dare they hate John Rocker.


TABLE MATCH:

The Dudley Boyz vs The Hardy Boyz

Rules of this match is you have to be sent through consecutive tables. Powerbomb by Bubba ray and out come the tables already, there's one in the ring.

Backdrop and Matt flips the table over, DDT on Bubba. Action to the outside Jeff has a steel chair, Devon tried a powerbomb but Matt countered. Jeff with a chairshot and he runs on the rail, but smashes into a table.

Matt Hardy's on the table, Bubba goes to the corner, and they go up and try a double suplex and Devon removes the table. Wait, now ladders are involved as Matt takes one and they're using it to knock the Dudleyz senseless.

Chairshot to the head of Bubba and Matt's setting up a ladder and Devon runs in and they're both on top and Matt's jumping and Jeff coems out of nowhere Bubba just went right through that table.

Holy ****! Holy ****!

Hardyz only need to send Devon through a table now. Table's been setup on the outside there's a chairshot and Bubba's totally out of it. HARDY LEGDROP MISSES DEVON AND GOES THROUGH A TABLE.

HARDY SUICIDE DIVE GOES THROUGH A TABLE! Steel steps have been thrown into the ring. Table setup on top of it and GOOD LORD POWERBOMB FROM BUBBA UP THE TOP TURNBUCKLE RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!

The Dudleyz are making a name for themselves here tonight. Devon stomping on Matt, they're fighting near the exit and what is Bubba doing? He's setting up a lot of tables and there's a low blow. Matt's on top of the table and Jeff comes in with a chair.

Bubba chairshots Jeff and drags him up to the balcony, oh my goodness. Chairshot from Jeff and Bubba's reeling and HE FALLS THROUGH FOUR TABLES! Devon's on a table and SENTON BOMB FROM THE BALCONY!

HOLY CHRIST DEVON JUST GOT SMASHED RIGHT THROUGH THAT TABLE! The Hardy Boyz beat the Dudleyz at their own game.

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Vote for this guy in every contest, our Guru champion: SuperNiceDog

Angle's backstage with a medic and he's not willing to admit he lost.

Here come a bunch of guys to judge a contest. Slaughter, Moolah and a bunch of Hall of Famers including Freddy Blasie.

Lawler's our master of ceremonies. Here's Ivory, Terri, Jacqueline, B.B, Luna, The Kat.


Ivory is reluctant and she looks angry, Terri's much more confident, Jerry's jumping up and down for joy. Jacqueline's riding something. Luna is unwilling to get involved.

The Kat decides to wear bubble wrap. Terri still wins this, oh dear god, out comes Mae Young, time to minimize the window. Thank god i'm not watching, Lawler sounds like he's in genuine distress.

JR sounds like he wants to commit suicide. Mark Henry comes out to the rescue, Mae Young is the unanimous winner.


Jericho and Chyna are arguing.


WWF INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH:

Hardcore Holly vs Chyna (c) vs Chris Jericho (c)

Slapfest is on and gets broken up, Chyna is catapulted out of the ring. Jericho with a leapfrog, dropkick from Hardcore Holly. Whip and there's a flying forearm and now there's a chopfest between Hardcore and Jericho.

Attempted Hurricanerana and Wall are locked in and Chyna with a clothesline. Madison Square Garden is very pro Jericho. Holly holds the lg, Baseball slide by Chyna knocks him out. Springboard and Jericho goes flying and finds Holly.

Chyna with her handspring elbow and the DDT! Holly takes a chair and tries to hit Chyna but gets knocked down before he can do it. Jericho and Chyna going up top and they both splash Holly.

Forearm exchange and there's a suplex failed, low blow and now Chyna's going for the pedigree. But Hardcore kicked out, Chyna's too weak for them. Holly picks her up and out flies Jericho.

Kick to the face from Hardcore and he goes up top, Jericho's back up in a flash. People's balls are hurting in this match bigtime and there's a superplex and Holly had the cover but Chyna kicked out. Chyna's taking a chair and she just nailed Holly.

Ref didn't see it and she's using the walls of Jericho. He's not pleased and he uses a bulldog, ASAI MOONSAULT AND IT CONNECTS!

We now have a single undisputed Intercontinental champion.


Backstage The Rock has come back to new york city. The Rock's concerned with Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh. If he gets by those two he's got a shot at the rumble.

Cole says Big Show is scarier, Rock tells him to shut up. Rock is really making a guarentee that he will win this PPV.

Next up is the Tag Team title match. This is being hyped up as an absolute brawl.

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Vote for this guy in every contest, our Guru champion: SuperNiceDog

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW! etc. Road Dogg with the usual rap.


WWF TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:

New Age Outlaws (C) vs The Acolytes

Bradshaw showcasing his tremendous power and he gets a fallaway slam. Faarooq gets to work on Road Dogg, there's a powerslam.

Outlaws try to play sneaky and Faarooq double clothesline them and Road Dogg with his jabs. Road Dogg struts and Bradshaw pulls him down.

CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL on Billy gunn, Spinebuster from Faarooq and Billy pulls the ref off during the cover.

Road Dogg takes a double powerbomb in comes X-Pac, he beats up Bradshaw, then eats a spinebuster. But Billy gunn with a fameasser, those backstage powers.


Incoming the World title match, Stephanie's hairstyle has changed. Triple H screwed Big Show out of his title. Mankind told D-X their era in charge sucks. Mankind is fired!

The Rock forces them to bring back Mankind. Man, Mankind really took a hard beating, he can't keep up in a street fight, so he's gonna need a substitute.

GOOD LORD! IT'S CHAINSAW CHARLIE'S EX-PARTNER CACTUS JACK!


WWF WORLD TITLE MATCH:

STREET FIGHT:

Cactus Jack vs Triple H (c)

I think they edited Cactus Jack's theme for this. Stephanie's heading to the back voluntarily. But if D-X gets involved it might ruin the match.

Triple H spits out the water he just drank. Here we go and they're trading right hands. Triple H has Cactus in the corner, but there's a clothesline. Cactus Jack punches away in the corner.

Swinging neckbreaker, legdrop by Cactus and the crowd's chanting his name. Here are some stomps. Triple H has a chair and he's inviting Cactus in and JR references the last Rumble.

Triple H with a hard shot and he's uncovering the turnbuckle and Cactus gets up and uses a clothesline. Chair on top of Triple H's face and there's a LEGDROP! But Triple H kicks out and the champion's struggling to his feet.

Cactus Jack is in control. They're fighting on the outside and Triple H is backdropped right nto the crowd. There's the championship crowd surfing. Fight moves on to near the exit and there's a lot of wood for Triple H to get suplexed on.

Trashcan to the skull of Triple H and Cactus is whipping him into the metal doors. His face gets bounced on them, chants are for Foleeey! Suplex by Triple H right through that trashcan. Triple H can't get any sustained offense against Cactus Jack here.

Here's a flurry of right hands and a running knee. BANG! BANG! OH MY LORD! BARBWIRED 2X4 HAS BEEN BROUGHT OUT! Low Blow from Triple H and now he's got that weapon and he's using it to the abdomen and the back and he's going in hard. Triple H wants Cactus to get up right hand.

2X4 RIGHT TO THE NUTS! DDT and now Hugo's got the barbwire and there's a cover but Triple H kicked out. Cactus threatens Earl, he wants his 2X4 back and he punches the spanish announcers. Triple H rushes in and takes out Earl.

BUT THERE'S THE BARBWIRE TO THE FACE! BARBWIRE DROPPED ON THE FACE! Triple H KICKED OUT! He's bleeding all over and now there's another shot to the face. Cactus Jack is now pushing the barbwire right into the face. He's grinding the champion to a pulp.

Right hands targetting the wounds. Chop to the head and now his head bounces off the announce table.

Triple H is a bloody mess and Cactus's on top of the table and he's trying to piledrive him, but THERE'S A BACKDROP! Table gives way. FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!

Right hands from Foley and there's a big gash on Triple H's leg and the pedigree is being setup but it's countered into a catapult. BULLDOG ON THE BARBWIRE! But again the champion keeps surviving. There's a clothesline from Cactus to the outside and Triple H tosses Cactus into the steel steps.

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Vote for this guy in every contest, our Guru champion: SuperNiceDog

There's an irish whip back into the steel steps. Both men get back the ring and chopblock bring Cactus down. Triple H has got the barbwire and RIGHT INTO THE LEG! Triple H takes something from Finkel.

Oh dear, deja vu and the handcuffs are out but Cactus blocks him and punches, but Cactus has them locked in. Triple H has got the steel steps in the ring, DROPTOE HOLD! Triple H's face falls on the steps and he just threw himself right into the steps. Cactus Jack is now biting away. Big Clothesline knocks out Cactus Jack.

He's bleeding from the mouth and Triple H has the chair and it got bent as he uses it. #cactus is heading towards the exit and he takes another chairshot. Cactus is trash talking with Triple H and WHAT THE HELL ROCK WITH A CHAIRSHOT OUT OF NOWHERE!

There's a policeman who comes out and Cactus Jack's hands are now free! The spanish announce table is now at risk PILEDRIVER ON THE TABLE! It's only half bent and it did not give way. To the ring they go Cactus going back under the ring, he pulls out something. Lawler thinks it's a sandbag.

BUT IT'S IN FACT A TON OF THUMBTACKS! Stephanie rushes to ringside after seeing that. BACKDROP FROM TRIPLE H AND CACTUS JACK JUST BECAME A HUMAN PINCUSHION! PEDIGREE. FOLEY KICKED OUT TO A HUGE POP!

A SECOND PEDIGREE THIS TIME ON THE THUMBTACKS AND TRIPLE H RETAINS!

Triple H is being stretchered out, Cactus Jack gets up and shoves the strecher out and he's got the barbwire again and Triple H got knocked the hell out.


Some dude called Jonathan Coachman is talking with Linda McMahon.

The thumbtacks are being cleared out of the ring for the upcoming Royal Rumble. Finkel tells us the rules of the game.

There's some Rumble flashback moments with HBK and Pamela Anderson.


MAIN EVENT:

ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH:

#1 D'LO BROWN! HELL YEAH! #2 is Grand Master Sexay and Lawler is suddenly incredibly worried. D'Lo attacks first, but dropkick from Sexay.

D'Lo shows how to do a real dropkick and he's getting a powerbomb ready but there's a hurricanerana. D'Lo is knocked down and there's a missile dropkick.

D'Lo escapes after holding on to the ropes and #3 is Headbanger Moss, look at those "Cones" and Kaientai runs in the match and they're quickly thrown out. Sexay in the corner getting beaten up.

POWERBOMB from D'Lo brown and there's a bulldog from Sexay and Mosh's ankle is hurting and #4 gets a nice pop. Here's Christian, reverse DDT to take out Mosh. Christian gets to work on Sexay but he takes a shot.

No one has been eliminated yet and it looks like D'Lo's the one in trouble right now. #5 is RIKISHI! Fans really liked this one. Kick to the face of Mosh and he's the first one out.

Christian takes a belly to belly suplex and he's bounced out of the ring.

Running neckbreaker from D'Lo and there's a legdrop, but Rikishi gets up really quickly and D'Lo takes a piledriver and he now gets thrown out of the ring. Grandmaster Sexay trying to talk Rikishi out of fighting.

#6 is Scotty too Hotty. Rikishi gets some shades and now Too Cool are having a royal dance. Rikishi looks like he's having fun and Scotty with the worm. DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE and both Scotty and Sexay are tossed out of the ring. There's some more Rikishi dancing.

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#7 is Steve Blackman and he's a no-nonsense kind of guy and he gets to work. Rikishi driver and Blackman's dead. Another elimination from Rikishi. Not since Diesel have I seen this kind of domination from a single man.

#8 A man who s bigger than Rikishi, it's Viscera. BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! The Ring's shaking and there's a legdrop. He's lookiing might angry and there's a chop. Splash in the corner. Superkick by Rikishi, three of them and finally Rikishi shoves Viscera out of the ring.

#9 is Oh god it's Big Bossman, he's much smarter than almost every other guy Rikishi has faced so far. He's a total jackass who's not willing to fight fairly. He's just circling the ring and he's really irritating the crowd by playing it so cautious. Bossman waited out the 90 seconds.

#10 HUGE POP FOR TEST! He's attacking Bossman and now there's a backdrop, he's thrown Bossman into the ring. Low blows going on everywhere. Rikishi with some right hands on test and Bossman punches Rikishi and Test.

#11 The British Bulldog, a lot of wily veterans, this match is on Channel Four? Oh it's on free TV. Yeah I clearly VCR'd it. Bulldog is already down and Rikishi was going up but there's a low blow from the Bulldog. Test is struggling with the Bossman.

Bulldog can't lift Rikishi out of the ring and at #12 it's Gangrel. So many loonies in tonight's rumble. He does the blood jet and Kaientai are back in and they quickly get ejected out of the rumble. Rikishi is waiting it out for a bit before using his backside to knock out Gangrel and Test.

#12 You think you know me! Edge comes out smiling and the crowd's enjoying him. Bulldog's nearly got him out, but there's a thumb to the eye. Gangrel tried to eliminate him. Bossman got squashed by Rikishi and Bulldog runs there quickly. Lawler wants more replays of TAKA falling on his face.

Test and Edge are brawling despite being good friends.

#13 MY GOD IT'S BOB BACKLUND! Old school veterans like Bossman and Bulldog really don't like him. Everyone ganged up on Rikishi and he's finally been eliminated. All the blondes are brawling with each other and the old guys are having a tea party.

Test rests in the corner and here's #14 BREAK THE WALLS DOWN! Another blondie, it's the undisputed intercontinental champion and Jericho's dropkick eliminates Bob Backlund.

There's a reference to Jericho's hockey playing dad. Bossman's the one who's lasted longest. Backlund's going to campaign in the crowd. #15 is Crash Holly, The Rock fears this man so watch out.

Edge spanks him and now Bulldog and Crash are ganging up on Edge. Test and Gangrel are still fighting, Edge goes through the ropes. Here's a cheap shot down low on the Bulldog. Lawler wants The Rock to come out.

#16 is Chyna and she focuses on Jericho from the get go and she's over the top and she's going for a suplex and Jericho's out of this and Bossman sneakily eliminates her from behind. Bossman now has a boot down Crash's throat.

#17 is a hard hitter in Faarooq. Oh my god, the Posse comes out to attack Faarooq and Bossman takes full advantage of them to get rid of Faarooq. Don't sleep on Bossman, the guy's been sneaky good in this rumble. Gangrel and Bulldog on Crash Holly.

#18 OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW! Crowd's still yelling out the rap for Road Dogg. The Crowd wants puppies and Road Dogg's punching away on Test. Bossman is still surviving.

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Vote for this guy in every contest, our Guru champion: SuperNiceDog

#19 Al Snow with a new theme and Lawler is really keen on The Rock coming out and Bulldog has been eliminated by Road Dogg leading to many Dog puns. Bossman with knees to the kidneys of Gangrel. Uppercut on Edge now there's a crossbody. Crash fighting Road Dogg and Al Snow.

#20 Val Venis, plenty of guys going after Test, Funaki comes out but gets tossed out, TAKA's face is still hurting so he's staying backstage. Bossman appears to be holding on the ropes.

#21 Prince Albert and Edge goes out. Bossman with a shot on Albert, uppercut and Crash attacks Prince Albert. Gangrel attacks Road dogg's in the corner and he's trying to stay invisible.

#22 Perhaps some help for Crash as Hardcore Holly comes out. They're not using any teamwork so they're doen for already. Road Dogg still hanging on to the bottom rope for dear life. Bossman's decided to slowly torture Road Dogg.

#23 IF YA SMELL! The Rock's coming out to a very crowded ring and there goes Bossman. Test and Val are working on The Rock. Lawler now wants Big Show to come out. The Rock is being targeted by Hardcore Holly. He called everyone a Jabroni so he's made everyone angry.

#24 Mr. Ass Billy Gunn and he's going straight after The Rock. JR's starting to lose his voice. Rock with a DDT on Crash and he eliminates his biggest obstacle. Al snow strikes The Rock, Albert goes in after him and now everyone's realised what Dogg is doing.

#25 WEELLLL, here's an angry Big Show coming out. Out goes Test, out goes Gangrel and headbutt on Val Venis and Al Snow. The Rock is now taking a big boot in the corner. Hardcore holly takes a gorilla slam. Prince Albert beaten with ease.

#26 is Bradshaw, but there's the mean street posse coming out again and Bradshaw throws all of them out and D-X throws Bradshaw out. Faarooq comes back, the acolytes are beating on the Posse pretty hard.

Albert is choking Val Venis with something. The Rock is on the edge of the apron.

#27 LIGHTS OUT! Kane is coming out and Tori's at his side. So much smoke and Kane gets rid of Val Venis. Al Snow takes a hard shot and falls to the ground. Kane eliminates someone but nobody cares.

#28 is the Godfather with his hoes and Funaki somehow sneaked in and he got thrown out.

I must have missed someone along the way because the final guy #30 is X-Pac.

The Rock's been fairly anonymous for a while now and out goes Hardcore Holly. Godfather has been eliminated. Rock dumps Al Snow out of the Rumble.

Road Dogg gloats and Mr. Ass eliminates the Road Dogg. Kane with an uppercut eliminates Billy gunn, now the outlaws take out Kane X-Pac is thrown out of the Ring. X-Pac's back in the ring and Kane comes back to beat up X-Pac some more.

X-Pac knocks down The Rock. Kane with power and eliminates Kane and now he bronco busters Big Show and there's enough of this sillyness as X-Pac is tossed out.

Big Show and The rock, double leg takedown. PEOPLE'S ELBOW! Big Show with a thunderous chokeslam. Rock is being picked up and Rock hangs on to the rope and Big Show is eliminated.

THE ROCK IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA! Rock now gets to pose. Big Show's back and he throws The Rock over the top.


Show Rating: ****

Star of the Show: Cactus Jack

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Lots of news between PPVs here:

The Big Show was able to prove with video evidence that The Rock's feet actually hit the ground on that final elimination before Big Show's did, so now Rock still goes down as the winner, but he has to face Show at No Way Out with his WM title shot on the line.

That plucky newcomer Kurt Angle managed to defeat Val Venis for the European Title.

Miss Kitty lost her Women's Title to a mysterious new wrestler named "Hervina" who would be revealed as Harvey Whippleman in drag. He becomes the only man to have held the Women's Title! Thankfully his reign is soon ended by Jacqueline.

Gillberg finally resurfaced and lost the Light Heavyweight Title! It was won by a newcomer named Essa Rios (you may remember him as Aguila back when he was masked, he faced TAKA for the title before on PPV), and Rios has a sexy manager named Lita! Surely these two will be a new power couple in the WWF.

The biggest title news of all comes as Super Heavyweight Crash Holly uses his massive girth to overcome Test to win the Hardcore Championship. Crash then changes the game by declaring that he will defend the title 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If there's a referee around, in literally any situation, you can pin Crash to win the title, if you dare try!

Also a group of newcomers just came over from WCW, some guys named Benoit, Guerrero, Malenko, and Saturn. Jobbers for life I'm sure.

But in all seriousness, Benoit actually came over as the reigning WCW Champion, so the first thing they did (of course) was to have WWF Champion Triple H beat him in a Champion vs. quasi-Champion match. <_<

In case you're wondering, WCW would fill the title vacancy by putting the belt on Sid. Exciting!

WWF Champion: Triple H
Tag Team: The New Age Outlaws
Intercontinental: Chris Jericho
European: Kurt Angle
Hardcore: Crash Holly
Women's: Jacqueline
Light Heavyweight: Essa Rios

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://bryandanielson.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/photo3.jpg

Man, they spent more time oogling at Lita than actually caring about Rios.

At any rate it looks like 2001 will feature the biggest roster turnover since Nitro started. Hopefully we can start saying goodbye to Mideon and others.

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Well I have some bad news for you! The only thing about Mideon that the WWF says goodbye to anytime soon are his clothes. He develops a nudist gimmick soon. <_<

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Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
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Time for another comparison of ppvs...

WWF in January: Main event was the Royal Rumble. If you don't want to count that, then the main event title-wise was HHH vs. Cactus Jack, which is an immediate contender for match of the decade, let alone match of the year.

WCW in January: WCW was a giant roller coaster of events this month. Souled Out's main event was originally Bret Hart vs. Sid Vicious for the world title, and they also had Chris Benoit and Jeff Jarrett facing off in a 3-stages of Hell match (well, WCW's version of it). However, a Goldberg kick to the head would end Bret's career as an active wrestler, and he was forced to vacate the title. On top of that, Jeff Jarrett was announced injured, so he was forced to vacate the US title. With Benoit and Sid both active and not in a match, WCW booked the two of them to wrestle for the World title at Souled Out.

Benoit wins the title, vacates it the next day and heads off to the WWF, while Sid Vicious plays hot potato with Kevin Nash using the WCW title. As for the 3-stages of Hell match, they randomly put Kidman and 3 members of the Revolution in there. First Kidman wins a Catch-as-Catch-Can match against Dean Malenko, then wins a bunkhouse brawl match against Saturn, and finally losing to The Wall. Jeff Jarrett is awarded back the US title a day after being forced to vacate it.

tl,dr version: WWF wins January by a landslide.

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That Kidman vs. Malenko match has one of the bigger botched finishes of all time.

Malenko legitimately forgot that going out to the floor ended the match, and rolled out at one point when he normally would in kayfabe to regroup, not realizing it would end the match due to the rules of the match stating that if you touch the floor you lose, period.

I'm 95% sure that it was a total botch. Kidman was supposed to win anyway so no huge harm done but still.

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
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Always thought that matchwise only, the rumble had one hell of an undercard in terms of booking and match quality.

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The whole Triple H vs. Cactus Jack thing in particular was incredibly booked. That was Triple H's equivalent of WM 13 for Austin--the point where he fully arrived. Up until then he was being shoved down our throats as a main eventer and no one accepted him. That match at the Rumble changed everyone's minds.

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
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It's beyond obvious at this point that WWF has a better product than WCW. Even when WWF didn't have the best main event on ppv, WCW would find a way to make WWF's look good. For instance, let's look at January to September of 99.

January
WWF: The Russo-riffic Royal Rumble where Vince McMahon won
WCW: Goldberg vs. Scott Hall in a Ladder-Tazer match

February
WWF: Austin vs. McMahon in a cage match where Big Show debuted
WCW: Hogan vs. Flair, which involved Flair's son turning heel

March
WWF: Austin vs. Rock at WrestleMania
WCW: Hogan vs. Flair in a First Blood Steel Cage match, where Flair won (by pinfall, I might add, and it was a figure four, not a pin), despite bleeding before Hogan did.

April
WWF: Austin vs. Rock at Backlash
WCW: Flair vs. Hogan vs. DDP vs. Sting with Savage as guest referee. Hogan gets injured, Sting wrestles his first match in six months only to job, and DDP begins what would eventually become TWO of the most hilariously booked WCW title reigns.

May
WWF: Austin vs. Undertaker at Over the Edge, which was already ****** up due to Owen's death.
WCW: DDP vs. Kevin Nash for the world title. This may have been the only time WCW had a better main event, and it was under a technicality.

June
WWF: Austin vs. Vince and Shane in a ladder match for 100% control of the WWF
WCW: Nash vs. Savage for the world title. This hilarious bout also gave us Sid Vicious's return

July
WWF: Austin vs. Undertaker in a first blood match, considered to be one of the more not-good matchups between the two
WCW: Nash/Sting vs. Savage/Sid for the World title, where even Sting could pin his own partner to win the belt. Instead, Savage wins out of nowhere and jobs to Hogan the next day.

August
WWF: Austin vs. Mankind vs. Trips for the world title
WCW: Hogan vs. Nash, where the loser retires. Haven't we seen this before?

September
WWF: The Six-Pack Challenge with Austin as a guest referee
WCW: Hogan vs. Sting for the world title, where Sting's failed heel turn began.

Add October through December, and the end result is WWF winning 11-1 for 1999, and again, that 1 from WCW was only because Owen died.

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I tend to feel that under Russo at the very least the undercards in the WWF kinda sucked, but the main events were generally solid. Then slowly but surely both ended up being good.

But honestly even after reading the Death of WCW it's still amazing just how damn bad those WCW main events are. You'd think they'd be able to get a good one every 4-5 months. Even TNA can put up good main event matches, just with really, really, really horrible booking.

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It was even bad in '98, when WCW was still beating WWF in ratings.

January: HBK/Taker vs. Luger/Savage
Winner: WWF

February: 8-man tag match vs. Hogan/Sting
Winner: Draw. 8-man tag was meh, but Hogan/Sting was trying to cover up for the bull**** finish at Starrcade

March: Austin/HBK vs. Hogan/Savage
Winner: WWF

April: Austin/Dude Love vs. Sting/Savage
Winner: WWF

May: Austin/Dude Love vs. Sting/Giant and Outsiders
Winner: WWF

June: Austin/Kane vs. Sting/Giant
Winner: WWF

July: (Austin and Taker vs. Kane and Mankind) vs. (Hogan and Rodman vs. DDP and Karl Malone)
Winner: WWF

August: Austin/Taker vs. (DDP/Leno vs. Hogan/Bischoff)
Winner: WWF

September: Austin/Taker/Kane vs. Wargames
Winner: Draw? Wargames were always fun

October: Taker/Kane vs. Goldberg/DDP
Winner: WCW

November: Rock/Mankind vs. World War 3
Winner: WWF, solely because the Deadly Game tournament was classic

December: Austin/Taker vs. Goldberg/Nash
Winner: WCW by a hair

1998 result: WWF wins 8-2-2

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Taker/Kane is never a good combo is what 1998 taught me.

It's like the easiest thing to get excited about and the hardest thing to care about once it actually starts.

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Armageddon 1999

This copy is completely glitched up during the intro. I have no idea what this PPV will be about! But it's in Miami, home of The Rock.

16 man battle royale starts this off to determine who is a tag belt contender at the rumble.

Dudley Boyz vs. Edge & Christian vs. Headbangers vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Mean Street Posse vs. The Acolytes vs. Too Cool vs. Godfather & Mark Henry

Edge and Christian try to fight the Dudleys before the match even starts. The Posse is Pete Gas and Rodney now, where'd Joey Abs go?

Crowd likes Too Cool now. They really are ridiculously over the top with the gimmick, gotta give them that.

Pete Gas out, but he hides under the ring and Joey Abs runs in to take his place. Now they switch back again. Now the whole posse is out.

Mosh is out, Headbangers are gone. And now Mark Henry gets pushed out by the Acolytes and Dudleys.

Edge and Scotty on the apron fighting, it's a setup to get Too Cool out of here.

Edge catches himself on the edge, but Devon pulls him off now. Dudleys double team to hit Bradshaw in the crotch, definitely a move I've never seen before. 3D on Jeff Hardy and Matt with a surprise throw of Devon.

Jeff goes to the apron, leaps to the rope for a springboard spin splash. Matt and Bradshaw both go out at once, who went out first?

Guess it continues until there's a decisive winner. Jeff gets caught in the corner, he hurricanranas Faarooq out, but the ref misses this.

Running springboard dropkick on Faarooq. Bradshaw almost kicked out, almost drop kicked out again. Matt skins the cat, but Faarooq launches Jeff out now.

Kurt Angle says he's undefeated and the fans will love him.

Kurt Angle vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman with some kicks and a chop, here's a hangman. Dropkick and a slam, this one's gonna have a lot of action.

Moonsault attempt from Angle, he whiffs. Blackman follows up with a back stretcher and almost pins himself.

DDT from Angle. Boring chants. Blackman throws Angle into the stairs.

Sunset flip cover, countered crossbody cover from Blackman, neither works.

Angle kicking out of all of Blackman's offense here. Blackman tries a splash from the corner and falls on boots. Angle ducks an enzuigiri and gets a suplex pin.

Blackman pulls out his nunchuks after the match and hits Angle a few times.

There's some new girl that Michael Cole is talking to. There's also an evening gown match later. Oh wait it's now. Mae Young and Moolah are guest refs.

Evening gown match in a swimming pool: Miss Kitty vs. Jacqueline vs. B.B. vs. Ivory

Jacqueline is thrown in the pool by Kitty before it even starts.

Last one to keep their gown on wins. There's a lot of splashing in there. Everyone gangs up on Jacqueline, she's out.

Kitty and Ivory double team B.B., she's out. Ivory doesn't know how to undo a bra.

Miss Kitty holds down Ivory and becomes the new women's champ. I hope she knows how to wrestle. She doesn't disappoint the crowd, at least. Sgt. Slaughter doesn't approve.

Mae Young wants to lose her gown as well, oh god.

--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

Hey Fatu's back in the WWF. He's gonna make a difference as Rikishi this time.

Hardcore & Crash Holly vs. Viscera & Rikishi

Haha Rikishi's using the same music as Too Cool. This hip hop sound is already outdated in 1999.

Crash gets stuck under two cheeks and almost loses immediately.

Viscera doesn't want to tag in, but he's forced to. Belly to belly suplex and a slam, but he misses a splash.

Drop kick from Hardcore. Crash tries a sunset flip, again a mistake.

Rikishi back in, Hardcore gives him a facebuster but it has no effect. Aww yeah old Headshrinkers gimmick. Viscera tries to help, accidentally takes out Rikishi and they lose.

The two big men stand off, Rikishi with a high kick. I sense a looming feud.

Triple threat match: D-Lo Brown vs. Val Venis vs. British Bulldog

Teddy Long won't let the Mean Street Posse hang by the ring.

Val's getting in the most punches, and he goes outside with Bulldog. D-Lo with a splash to the outside on them!

"Bulldog sucks" chants from the crowd. D-Lo punches Bulldog and says "You suck!"

D-Lo tries a springboard move and misses the rope, whoops. But now he's back up as the two double team Bulldog. Double clothesline, double vertical suplex.

Up to the corner goes D-Lo, Val kicks him down. D-Lo with a sunset flip from the top, Bulldog pulls away the ref.

Bulldog with a powerslam, D-Lo grabs Val's leg and puts it over the rope.

D-Lo's running a clinic on Bulldog. Here's a leg drop, low down. Venis jumps in though, he gets the cover and the European belt.

X-Pac's still no good at cutting promos. Kane can't win the cage match by leaving the cage, only by pinning.

Steel Cage Match: Kane vs. X-Pac

Kane attacks X-Pac before they can even get in the cage. But X-Pac grabs the bell and hits Kane's face.

The cage design has finally changed, it looks attached to the scaffolding that normally hangs above now, rather than something they have to assemble around the ring. Looks like it's chain-link fence now.

Kane with a press slam, almost a tombstone but X-Pac breaks free.

DDT from X-Pac, and instead of escaping he tries to cause more damage. Instead he's caught in a backbreaker.

Here come the Outlaws, they've got bolt cutters and they unchain the door. They knock down Kane and throw a chair in the ring.

X factor on the chair. X-Pac gets some handcuffs and connects Kane to the cage. Two chair shots, and in runs Tori X-Pac gives her the X factor.

"X-PAC SUCKS!" X-Pac's climbing out, Kane breaks the cuffs and runs outside to catch X-Pac. Back into the cage.

Kane climbs to the top of the cage, flying clothesline all the way down. Tombstone for X-Pac and Kane wins.

--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

Looks like Survivor Series solved nothing in our next feud.

Chris Jericho vs. Chyna

Chyna with a flip over the corner, Jericho tries a run and misses her.

Jericho drops Chyna on a table and grabs a chair. Miss Kitty tries stopping him, and Chyna kicks the chair away.

Low blow from Chyna as Jericho tries a jump. Chyna with a springboard elbow and a DDT.

Chyna's tangled in the ropes and she's getting kicked.

Hurricanrana into a cover but Jericho kicks out. Padding is off a turnbuckle now. He can't get her to the corner though.

Slam and a springboard moonsault, Chyna gets her knees up. Jericho tries a hurricanrana but gets blocked, slingshot into the exposed turnbuckle. Jericho still kicks out of the pin.

Pedigree, Jericho counters into a backslide. Suplex, Chyna counters and covers, another two count.

Jericho gets the walls of Jericho on. Chyna reaches out and Jericho pulls her away. Miss Kitty is going nuts, Chyna gives up and Jericho has a belt!

He gets interviewed by "Mitchell" Cole. Chyna wants a handshake.

Mankind & The Rock vs. New Age Outlaws

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW

This is a pro-Rock crowd during the Outlaws intro. They don't bother finishing.

Mankind's handling Road Dogg fine, but the fans want to see some Rock. Billy wants to take his shirt off and Rock punches him.

Road Dogg doing some dancing punches. Too many dances gets him in a mandible claw.

Rock and Billy start brawling outside the ring. They go into the crowd. They finally reach the ring, I guess these two are now the legal men.

Time for Rock to get stuck in the ring. Billy gives him a bulldog. Now some kicks from Road Dogg. Here's some WOOOOs and some chops.

Road Dogg goes for his pump handle slam but Rock escapes. Long headlock, Rock breaks free with a DDT.

Mankind in, he's giving knees to both guys. Billy accidentally runs into Road Dogg. Mankind dances and punches Road Dogg. Whoops he punched the ref. There's nobody to cover.

Mandible claw on Road Dogg, here comes Al Snow and he hits Mankind with head. He's full on heel now. Rock pulls away the ref and chases down Al Snow!

Back in the ring, Mankind gets hit with the ring bell, but kicks out from a cover.

Piledriver from Billy. He taunts Rock to get a double team opening, but Mankind falls and takes everyone with him. Rock back in with a fallaway slam.

Rock bottom, here comes Al Snow again, he gets the outlaws DQed.

After the match, here's a rock bottom on Al Snow, and we'll finally see some elbow!

Big Show and Big Bossman are still feuding following the loss of Big Show's dad.

Big Bossman vs. Big Show

Bossman is down, and Big Show chokeslams Prince Albert right through the spanish announce table. Bossman hits Big Show with the stairs after this.

We're getting some "Boring" chants as Big Show seems completely out. Nip up from Big Show? Looked like he grabbed the rope for some leverage, but still impressive. Chokeslam, and he already defended his belt. Well then.

--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

HHH is feuding with Vince. "That's your family! They've fallen down the stairs and they can't get up."

HHH is coming to the ring with a sledgehammer. This match is no holds barred and falls count anywhere.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

vince has a handful of powder and he's blinded HHH. So long sledgehammer.

A flurry of punches and HHH falls down. If this was boxing, Vince would be set here.

Lawler is saying Stephanie must be upset to see HHH get hit with a low blow. As if she'd ever start dating him!

They go into the crowd now. And back they go into a dark hallway, can't see much.

HHH is on the attack now as they head back to the ring. And here comes Mankind with a shopping cart full of goodies.

Vince grabs a garbage can lid, but HHH pushes it into Vince's face. Now HHH is washing his eyes out with a water bottle, JR is making this way more dramatic than necessary.

Several shots to HHH with the lid now, "Oh, the humanity of it all!"

Here's a garbage can, bonk to the head. HHH's noggin is denting this up.

Vince with a crutch, but HHH hits a low blow. Vince is thrown into the shopping cart. HHH is using the weapons to his advantage now.

They head over to the entrance, and HHH is using the army-themed set to beat up Vince. Now HHH grabs the cart and runs over Vince.

Vince is using the garbage can again, now a wrench.

They're eventually backstage and fighting on a truck. Has anybody even tried a pin yet?

HHH has disappeared. Oh.

The crowd is restless as Vince scours the parking lot. A car drives at Vince and he dives behind a wall. It's HHH of course.

On top of a limo they go. HHH body slams and elbows Vince.

They're back into the underbelly of the arena. And back where fans can see them. They're both climbing some scaffolding. Vince's head is hit and he falls 20 feet down. His face is busted open, but he's moving.

HHH grabs a mic and confronts Stephanie. She hates him. HHH goes to get his sledgehammer. Vince gets a low blow to save his life.

Now Vince has the sledgehammer. Stephanie wants him to stop. Oh, she wants to hit him. HHH grabs the hammer from her and hits Vince. Stephanie turns to HHH and smiles. She was in on it the whole time. What a heel move.

Whatever happened to that Test guy.

Star of the PPV: HHH

PPV wrestler of the year: The Rock

Gotta agree with voltch on this one. Rock's been a consistent crowd favorite all year in plenty of main events and hasn't dropped off like Mankind or Austin.

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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

I've gone through a good portion of No Way Out.

first thoughts overall, man is the WWF getting athletic. Doesn't necessarily mean the guys can wrestle well, but compare to the older bodies they had the guys out there tend to be leaner.

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Regardless of how good/bad you think No Way Out is, it's still nothing compared to the awfulness that was SuperBrawl 2000, WCW's February 2000 ppv; to date, SB 2000 is widely considered to be one of the worst ppvs ever. You get to see...

- Hogan return to action to bury Lex Luger
- Tank Abbott wrestling in a pole match, which became a Botchamania classic
- Ahmed Johnson (way past his prime) helping Stevie Ray win the rights to Harlem Heat over Booker T
- Scott Hall getting a WCW World title shot. Against Sid Vicious (and Jeff Jarrett, but still)

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From: The Raven 2 | #128
- Ahmed Johnson (way past his prime) helping Stevie Ray win the rights to Harlem Heat over Booker T

Didn't he also win the rights to the letter "T" somewhere in there?

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Indeed he did! Big T's win meant Booker T became "Booker", even if he was back to Booker T in less than 2 months

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No Way Out 2000

Cactus Jack has never main evented Wrestlemania, this PPV is all about him trying to get in.

We're in Hartford tonight.

What the hell, here comes the European Champion Kurt Angle and he's as lame as ever. I hope the goofy kid Jericho beats him.

Huh, why is Chyna coming out and she's got a new makeover. Chris Jericho appears to be a face now and he's got a mic. Yeah, way to go Jericho! Talk some more trash to this poser.


WWF INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH:

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho (c)

Y2J! Y2J! Very pro Jericho crowd here tonight. Very fast paced action early on. Hard knife edge chop, drop toe hold by Angle. People are booing Angle en mass. There's a nice backdrop from Jericho.

Springboard dropkick from Jerico and Angle is trying to use brute force now. Jericho with a irish whip into the steel, Angle dodge a rush and Jericho is whipped on to the steel steps but he Asai Moonsaults off them.

Angle's face gets to taste that steel. Now they go back to the ring, SUPERPLEX! This was a very good one and now Angle's using some hard forearm. Angle's incredibly athletic, shame he's totally unlikeable so far.

ANGLE SUCKS! ANGLE SUCKS! ANGLE SUCKS! Look like I'm not the only one who's not keen on him. DOUBLE ARM UNDERHOOK INTO A BACKBREAKER! Jericho with momentum, but Angle breaks it with a suplex, nearfall!

Kurt Angle has a headlock on there's an armbar takedown, nearfall again. Elbow to the back, I wonder if Jericho's calling this match. Plenty of right hands from Angle in the corner. Spnning heel kick from Jericho!

Bulldog and Angle goes face first, hard chop and flying forearm from Jericho Angle kicked out! Angle tried a hurricanerana countered into a POWERBOMB! Jericho with a pin, but countered into an Armbar! Jericho resorts to the ropes.

Angle with his OLYMPIC SLAM BUT JERICHO KICKED OUT! Angle is frustrated and he's going for a beltshot, but Tim White takes it away WALL OF JERICHO THOUGH AND ANGLE GETS TO THE ROPES! Angle raking the eyes of Jericho and he goes for a shot.

Oh Chyna got hit by accident and JERICHO WITH THE ASAI MOONSAULT OFF THE SECOND ROPE ON TO THE BELT ANGLE HAD! Kurt Angle just became the Eurocontinental champion! But WAIT! Earl Hebner is coming around, but Tim White is refusing to listen.


Michael Cole is with the Dudley Boyz. They got two words for the Outlaws, 3-D.


WWF TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:


New Age Outlaws (c) vs. The Dudley Boyz

JR likes to hype the Outlaws as the greatest team ever, they sure have had a ton of success. Look at all these green coloured signs.

Billy Gunn used a fameasser on Bubba's through a table. Billy can jump pretty damn high so I guess he is pretty athletic.

All four men are in the ring right now. E-C-DUB, E-C-DUB! FULL NELSON INTO AN ATOMIC DROP! Bubba spreads Road Dogg's legs and Devon goes headfirst in there.

The Outlaws may be degenerates but the Dudleyz are full on psychopaths. JR doesn't like the damn Dudleyz. Devon with a choke when the ref was distracted. Teddy Long's the ref for this one. The Road Dogg is being hammered in the corner.

Terri has returned tonight and she's being protected by the Acolytes. Road Dogg with a forearm and there's another tag. They're doing the whole tag thing really smartly. Bubba is distracted by Billy Gunn. Road Dogg with a suplex off the second turnbuckle.

Bubba's hurting bad and here comes Devon but Billy's there too, Clotheslines and Backdrops for all. Fameasser Bubba pulls Billy off, Road Dogg with a kneedrop.

Steel pipe hits Billy Gunn and 3D, THE DUDLEY DEATH DROP AND THOSE DAMNED DUDLEYZ ARE THE NEW CHAMPIONS! JR can't remember the last time two matches in a row ended up with new champions.

Outlaws are arguing.

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Kurt Angle is celebrating with fans.


Viscera splashed a pregnant Mae Young and Mark Henry is not happy so we've got a match.


Mark Henry vs. Viscera

Mark Henry goes in early and there's plenty of punching. Viscera's fat though and there's some pushing and shoving. Viscera with a spinning heel kick. Henry's clotheslined out of the ring.

Henry is whipped into the steps and Viscera's picking them up. There's the boring chant, nobody wants to see big men fight each other.

Samoan drop from Viscera, there's a belly to belly suplex, problems with transmission as Mae Young rushes in. Viscera shoved Mae young and Henry with a shoulder block.

I can't see anything because of technical difficulties, but Henry won the match.


Lillian Garcia with Chris Jericho, there's now friction between Jericho and Angle.

Well then look at the return of Terri she looks even skankier than usual, Lawler's gone haywire.


The Hardy Boyz vs Edge and Christian

huh, wait a minute, the Acolytes have just come round, they're looking mean. The Acolytes will be acting as Terri's bodyguards. This is a number one contender's match. Corkscrew from Jeff misses and there's Christian he takes a dropkick.

Matt Hardy's in and there's a double legdrop, women going crazy when the Hardyz take off their shirts. Suplex on Christian and he's chopping Matt Hardy. Dropkick on Jeff Hardy. Jeff rams Christian into a barricade. Matt Hardy stomps a little bit.

Trash talking between the two teams and Jeff flies, there's plenty of double team moves. They're Thrillseekers according to JR. Spingboard from Jeff Hardy and christian kicked out, Edge needs to get in this match. There was another cover and christian kicks out.

Matt Hardy thinking piledriver, nope he's going for something else, but Christian gets the neckbreaker off. Jeff awaits a tag and he jumps into Christian's boots. There's edge with the clotheslines and backdrops, Christian with a springboard crossbody to Matt on the outside.

Stomps from Christian on Jeff, he plants him in a counter. Here's Edge and they both stomp on Jeff in the corner and Christian droptoe holds Edge who's head crashes into Jeff's groin. That was a sick spot. Edge misses his dropkick, there's a bridge and a backslide but Jeff lands on his feet and piledriver!

Jeff kicks out, Edge has the headlock on and he's going to grind this one out. Jeff Hardy with a hurricanerana but he almost took a piledriver and again he goes for it but Edge uses a powerbomb! Christian's back in and there's a kick to the spine. Powerslam and Jeff Hardy kicked out.

Edge's the man in with a chinlock on. There's some hair pulling and both men grab each other's hair. Christian comes in with no tag and stomps Jeff, but Matt lands an elbow on Edge. Jeff covers Edge and there's a kickout. SPINEBUSTAH! Edge is going up top and missile dropkick GETS COUNTERED!

Tag from both side and Matt Hardy is cleaning house and there's a swinging neckbreaker and there's a cover on Christian but kicked out. Jeff from the top and what the, oh there's a double pin, but two count on both of them. Both Hardyz going up top and Christian just got torched and EDGE INTERRUPTS THE COUNT!

JEFF JUMPS RIGHT A SPEAR! Neckbreaker from Matt Hardy, is this really a tag match? Inverted atomic drop and Jeff goes up top and what Terri shoves Jeff off the top rope and now she just slapped Matt Hardy and Christian drives Matt Hardy face first. Edge and Christian win, but they look confused.

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The Acolytes look equally confused and Matt grabs Terri's hair and the Acolytes are now beating the crap out of the Hardyz.


Edge and Christian are with Cole and though confused they are satisfied. Big Show is with Lillian and he's still making a case about the Royal Rumble result. Big Show's feet landed first.


Big Bossman vs. Tazz

Tazz still has that incredible theme. The fight between the two is already on. Tazz with some quick shots and Bossman retaliates. Clothesline and down goes Bossman. There's the Tazzmission on really early.

Prince Albert runs in and strikes Tazz, leading to a DQ, but Albert has a chokeslam on him. Bossman and Albert ganging up on Tazz who's still acting all wild. Albert really does have piercings everywhere. Tazz is still fighting back.

Bossman uses the nightstick and IT BROKE! Tazz is so hardcore man! He's still trying to get back up from all of that. He's back up and taking names! Slaughter and the rest of the referees come out to split them apart.


Kurt Angle is with a megaphone celebrating his win as the eurocontinental champion.

Oh hey Kane and X-Pac are still feuding. They used to be tight but no longer. Oh hey it looks like Kane was betrayed by Tori who joined X-Pac.

Kane is depressed, but he's back with Paul Bearer he was going to chokeslam Tori, then he let her go, so that he could use a tombstone.

For Kane to have a shot at X-Pac he had to go through a lot. X-Pac used a flamethrower on Kane.


NO HOLDS BARRED:

X-Pac vs. Kane

Between Tori and Paul Bearer I think Kane upgraded in support. Kane tosses X-Pac out of the ring and the midget tries to flee but the big red machine pursues him.

X-Pac is climbing away and gets caught by Kane. X-Pac takes a trashcan for some headshots, but Kane shurgs them off and uses a shot to the head of his own. Kane throws X-Pac onto the steel rail and over the barricade he goes.

Kane's taking the steel steps to the ring, but he also receives a bellshot and Paul Bearer starts manhandling X-Pac. Tori tries to stop Bearer, but runs away as soon as Bearer chases her. Kane takes a dropkick and a lot of kicks.

There's the incoming bronco buster, but the crowd doesn't feel like cheering for that. Clotheslne takes X-Pac's head off. Dropkick to the kneecap and there's a lot more kicks incoming. X-Pac working the legs over again. X-PAC SUCKS! X-PAC SUCKS!

Kane is punching away, kick to the face and a spinning heel kick takes down Kane. X-Pac jumps into a bear hug and there's a low blow and an X-Factor. I know he's heel but this seems like overkill. Kane gets up and uses the big boot. Kane goes up top.

He's flying and Tori distracts him X-Pac still takes a chokeslam and Tori mounts Kane. JR Wants to see tombstones. THERE'S THE SETUP AND HERE'S THE TOMBSTONE! Kane with the steel steps and there's a kick from X-Pac and he wins.


Cole is backstage with four dudes who call themselves the Radicalz, man these guys lack so much charisma. The least generic guy of the bunch Eddie Guerrero has his arm in a sling, well that sucks.

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Rikishi and Too Cool vs. The Radicalz

Six man tag team action and Rikishi drops a leg, Eddie Guerrero sneaks in and tries a cheap shot and Rikishi nails him. Perry Saturn's with Sexay in the ring now. Saturn is pushed out and there's a missile dropkick.

Saturn takes an enziguri and Chris benoit the Rabid Wolverine is beaten to the punch by Sexay. Scotty too Hotty now has his way with him. Benoit drops Scotty on the ropes. There's a kick from Benoit and Scotty with a suplex.

Here's a little moonwalk and there's some Rikishi action for you all. Stinkface right in there for Benoit. Thank god this wasn't in HD. Malenko with a dropkick to the leg and Benoit pinned Rikishi who kicks out. Saturn gets to work on Rikishi's ankle.

Rikishi with a kick to Saturn's face. Scotty too Hotty knocks down Saturn and Malenko blindsides Scotty before the worm could be used.

Benoit rushes in and there's a suplex and another one. Droptoe hold and now Malenko's in there with a double arm suplex. Grandmaster Sexay tries to break the flow.

Backbreaker and Saturn with a knee from the top. Sexay has to save Scotty a lot in these. Crowd's on their feet right now and Scotty's getting back up and there's a nice hurricanerana and a cheap shot for Rikishi.

Malenko with a quick dropkick to the knee. Benoit tries to cripple Scotty with some hard chops. Malenko drops an elbow on Scotty and Saturn jumps on Scotty for a cover.

The radicalz are wrestling a pretty smart game here tonight. Malenko with a heel kick and a kneedrop. Benoit's in there with a stomp and Scotty's really being worked over in the corner. Benoit with a reverse elbow but his head bounced on Scotty's.

My Computer crashed and I lost the writeup for the rest of this match, but Rikishi won the match by dropping his ass right on Malenko. The Radicalz are all beaten on PPV on their debut but we still manage to get some Dancing from the Too Cool crew.


The Big Show vs The Rock

The Rock with some quick hands and his side russian legsweep is blocked, but his DDT isn't! Big Show gets up with authority. The rock still striking, but Show dumps him out of the ring. The Fans in the arena are all over The Rock.

Lawler wants to bail as the action moves closer to the announce tables. The people's champion is brawling amongst the people. Earl Hebner's decided to not count them out. The Rock is now being picked up and dropped on the barricade.

Big Show with an Elbow right to the heart. Powerslam from Big Show and it's only a two count. Show's getting frustrated and there's an irish whip to the barricade. Big Show's offense involves a lot of swinging. There's the russian legsweep but Big Show kicks out.

DDT from The Rock, it's almost as if this match is playing in a loop. Sidewalk slam from Big Show and The rock kicks out in time. Big Show with a chair, this match isn't a no DQ match! He misses The Rock but whips him into the referee, there's a big boot.

Show raises the hand and he's got The Rock and there's the chokeslam and the referee is of course unavailable. Here's Tim White and Earl Hebner pulls White off and they start brawling like crazy.

Here comes Shane I have no idea what's going on! ROCK BOTTOM! BUT SHANE HITS ROCK WITH A CHAIR DURING A PEOPLE'S ELBOW ATTEMPT! THE BIG SHOW'S GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE!

The Rock looks angry Lawler looks confused and JR looks outraged. Shane screwed The Rock!


Video package showcasing the Hell in a Cell. People have a habit of taking a lot of punishment in these matches. Cactus will be putting his career on the line.

Cactus guarentees us that he will go to the top and Triple H will take a hell of a beating.

Kurt Angle's still celebrating, but Jericho and Chyna sneak attack and dump him in the trunk of a car.

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Vote for this guy in every contest, our Guru champion: SuperNiceDog

MAIN EVENT:

WWF WORLD TITLE MATCH:

HELL IN A CELL:

CAREER VS. TITLE:

Triple H Vs. Cactus Jack

Man, talk about stipulation overload, well at least these kinds of matches are really rare.

Either way the winner will be facing The Big Show, oh dear god what. Yeah the theme here is much different than his rumble theme which was edited.

The two tons of unforgiving steel are coming down. Cactus is checking the door which has a ton of chains on them. Cactus and Triple H are exchanging right hands. Wait what Cactus is only 34 years of age?

Cactus Jack takes out Triple and tries to kick the door open, here's Triple H jumping in but he takes a hard shot. Low Blow from Triple and he's going underneath the ring, but Triple H punches him in the corner.

There's a facebuster from Triple, but Cactus uses a backdrop to the outside. Cactus has gone underneath the ring to pull out a nice chair. Knee from Triple H and he rams the head into the cage, another running knee this time it drives the chair into the head of Cactus.

Triple H whips Cactus into the steps. Another shot this time to the face and Triple H has the steel steps and he just threw them right into Cactus' head. Steps on top of Cactus and Triple H hammers the chair down.

The chants for Cactus have begun, three covers in a row don't work. Triple H rushes with the chair, he was baited and now Cactus lifts the chair into the nuts. There's a DDT right on the chair. Triple H is struggling to get back to his feet.

Cactus sets up the chair in the corner, he hammers Triple H till the champion is left sitting. Cactus rushes, droptoe hold Cactus' head goes right into the chair.

There's some more slamming into the walls of the cell. More stairs action incoming. Triple H teased a piledriver, COUNTERED INTO A CATAPULT! Plenty of strikes from Cactus Jack and down falls Triple H. There's some scrapping into the walls again.

He's busted open and Triple H now has the crimson mask. Cactus has a chair and he's on the apron and HE JUST JUMPED OFF THE SECOND ROPE DRIVING THE CHAIR INTO THE GAME!

THE STAIRS ARE THROWN AND THEY JUST OPENED UP THE CAGE! Cactus just made himself a door! The Cell's open and Triple H is thrown through the steel. The action's going to be moving away from the cell. On to the announce table PILEDRIVER ON THE TABLE WHICH DID NOT GIVE WAY!

The crowd is going wild for Foley and he's trying to go up and Stephanie's trying to hold him down and he's now stalking her. Triple H tries to protect her but he gets hammered, Cactus is looking for a weapon, it's not the Belt, it's not the Ringbell it's IT'S THAT BARBWIRE 2 X 4!

AND IT CONNECTS RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF TRIPLE H! Hell the only way to escape from that weapon is to climb all the way to the top of the cage. But Cactus Jack is climbing up the cage and TRIPLE H IS USING THE BARBWIRE TO KEEP CACTUS OFF HIM! CACTUS JUST DROPPED RIGHT ONTO THE SPANISH TABLE.

JR wants some people to come out and help Cactus, crowd is chanting A-hole towards Triple H. The challenger is back on his feet, he's bleeding all over, but he's back up. He's got a chair and he's trying to chuck a chair all the way up to the top of the cell. His first two attempts fail and there's another failure.

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Cactus decides to say screw it and he's climbing to the top and Triple H hits him with the barbwire. THREE SHOTS TO THE BACK! Triple H is now posing and the crowd hates him. Low Bllow by Cactus and Triple H dropped the 2 x 4. Triple H gets knocked down. Triple H almost falls through the cage.

The top of the cell is falling apart and there's a snap suplex from Triple H on top of the cage. FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY! DDT from Cactus Jack, both men ate absolute bloody messes. Cactus goes for the 2 x 4 in barbwire, Lawler asks what could be worse, well Cactus just SET IT ON FIRE!

FLAMMING BARBED WIRE TWO BY FOUR AND CACTUS IS SIGNALING FOR A PILEDRIVER. He's going to do and HOLY HOT DAMN BACKDROP AND CACTUS GOES THROUGH THE CAGE AND HE BROKE THE GODDAMN RING! Triple H is trying to get down and Cactus Jack made a huge hole in the ring with his fall. The crowd chants FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!

Triple H is trying to check if he's alive and CACTUS IS MOVING! Triple H with another right hand. Triple H is setting up the pedigree and hits it! Can Cactus kick out one more time? No he can't.

Cactus Jack's career is now over in his final match EVER! Triple H will be going on to Wrestlemania as the champion to defend the belt against The Big Show in the main event.

EMTs are coming over and Cactus is refusing help he's going to walk away with his own strength.


Show Rating: ****

Star of the Show: Cactus Jack


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Vote for this guy in every contest, our Guru champion: SuperNiceDog

yaaaaay 2000 era WWF

--
You know who's sexy? Black Turtle, the 2010 Games Contest Guru Winner, that's who!

No one ever helped get Triple H over as a main eventer, he did it all by himself! <_<

Only some minor title changes before Wrestlemania 2000. Pete Gas captured the Hardcore Title from Crash in an airport while Crash was at the baggage claim, but Crash then immediately pinned him to win it back.

Essa Rios's reign didn't last long as Dean Malenko defeated him for the Light Heavyweight Title, giving the Radicalz their first WWF gold.

The McMahon-Helmsley Era resulted in another abuse of power, as Stephanie cheated her way to a win over Jacqueline to become Women's Champion. Now husband and wife rule the company both with matching gold!

WWF Champion: Triple H
Tag Team: The Dudley Boyz
Intercontinental: Kurt Angle
European: Kurt Angle
Hardcore: Crash Holly
Light Heavyweight: Dean Malenko
Women's: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://bryandanielson.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/photo3.jpg

Too many bums holding the gold.

Kurt, Dudleyz, Dean are all outsiders to me. Triple H and Crash are totally part of the real WWF family.

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"I became the first ever Euro-continental champion in WWF history. Well, besides D-Lo Brown, but he doesn't count." --Kurt Angle

--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://bryandanielson.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/photo3.jpg

Kurt doesn't hail from Lisbon or Helsinki, fake european champ imo.

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Bump

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Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
http://bryandanielson.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/photo3.jpg

Got all of the rumble done... except the rumble. Will probably get tomorrow.

And you just beat me to bumping by a couple minutes.

--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

I'm letting Nee catch up a little bit, will probably watch Mania today and post it after the Rumble's up at the very least.

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Royal Rumble 2000

Time to kick off a new century of PPVs! And we're doing it with one of the more consistently fun ones.

Oh hey Foley is back to Cactus Jack to take on HHH in a hardcore manner.

Lots of cheering quickly turns to lots of booing for Kurt Angle. He takes a shot at the Knicks, but he's right.

What's the crowd shouting? We want Tazz? Who's Tazz?

Kurt Angle vs. Tazz

This guy is no nonsense and he takes Angle out of the ring. Angle with a suplex though.

Back in and a belly to belly suplex. But Tazz hits one of his own from the corner.

Angle trying an inside cradle, german suplex covers. Now Tazz gets a series of big suplexes. And now he gets him in a sleeper. Kurt Angle is out! What!

As a stretcher takes off Angle, here's a Hardy interview. They've been having a table feud with the Dudleys.

Tables match: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

boyzzzzzz

Dudleys already setting up a table, they want to back body drop Jeff, but Matt pushes the table away.

After some chants of "E C DUB" Jeff does a suicide dive.

Devon wants a powerbomb through a table, Matt wants a suplex. Here's a chair shot to Bubba. Jeff runs along the barricades and into a table, but it doesn't break.

Matt and Jeff with a double suplex, the table is moved again. Oh no, Matt's found a ladder. He's setting it up outside to jump on a table. Devon's on it too and Devon falls on a fan.

Oh my god, both Hardys fall on Bubba through a table, they must be dead.

Haha what are the Hardys doing. The setup the stairs, put a table across it, and another table sideways. Devon on one table, moves. Now another, he moves. Both Hardys through tables, but of their own accord.

Table on stairs in the ring now. Matt is power bombed right through it.

Bubba's setting up a wall of tables across the entrance. Oh god, there's a pyramid of them. Matt's laying on one, they're going through the crowd and up. Jeff with two chair shots, Bubba falls through two tables at once.

Devon is put on the remaining table, and Jeff senton bombs to victory.

Kurt Angle's backstage, he doesn't know what's going on. He says he's still undefeated.

Fabulous Moolah's here, she's got some crazy bad christmas sweater on. They're having a miss rumble contest.

Oh, Miss Kitty's changed her name. Andy Richter joins the judges for whatever reason. Gotta get those celebrities here.

Ivory, Terri, Jacqueline, B.B., Luna and The Kat are our participants.

There's not really any wrestling, just bikinis and implants here. Kitty is wearing bubble wrap.

Mae Young comes out as a late entrant, she is so uncoordinated. Oh god, she's taking off her top, this is the worst.

These are professionals don't try this at home. Always good to have a message for the kids, especially after that last match.

Oh hey the IC match is going to be triple threat.

Hardcore Holly vs. Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Holly with a cheap shot, now we're in a slap battle.

Dropkick from Holly, and Lawler is still speechless from earlier. Chop battle now, lots of WOOOOs.

Walls of Jericho already, where the hell has Chyna been? Here she comes to break this up.

Baseball slide from Chyna and Jericho with a springboard splash. Here's Chyna's springboard elbow and a DDT.

Both Chyna and Jericho pin Holly, luckily he gets up. Chyna with the pedigree.

Jericho wants a superplex, Chyna knocks the two down. Now she gets one on Holly. Chair shot when the ref looks away! She gets on a boston crab, Jericho pushes her off, asai moonsault and he wins!

--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

New York fans love Rock. They're chanting for him immediately. Rock points out Crash Holly and Mosh as his biggest opponents. He guaran-damn-tees a rumble win.

Jericho has the interChrisinental belt.

Oh yeah, Acolytes have a shot at the belt. Faarooq and Bradshaw really running with that "intimidating" thing that they've certainly got going.

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW

New Age Outlaws vs. The Acolytes

There's a brawl to start. Bradshaw catches Billy while kicking Road Dogg.

Road Dogg with some dances and punches. Acolytes are too tough for that. Bradshaw with a cover, Billy pulls away the ref. Double power bomb, ref's still down. Here comes X-Pac.

X-Pac is destroyed, crowd cheers. Billy hits a fameasser and gets a pin? God damn.

I feel like Acolytes are getting over on me now that they're completely gone from the completely ridiculous Undertaker gimmick and are just two imposingly tough guys.

Mankind wants to stand up to HHH, it causes everyone to stand up to him. And here's Cactus Jack.

Cactus Jack vs. HHH

The ref is patting Foley on the belly a lot during HHH's intro.

Mankind with some punches and a bang bang, crowds loves bang bang. HHH fends off attacks with a bell. Now he's got a chair.

Chair right to the head. But Foley's up, legdrop onto a chair onto HHH.

To the crowd now! And towards the entrance, here's two wooden pallets. HHH gets suplexed on to them. And a trash can is here now. Fans are chanting "Foley".

Here's a knee to HHH, did he hit the stairs? HHH got the worst of it I guess. Oh, here's a post with barbed wire wrapped around it! HHH hits a low blow and grabs the barbed wire. A shot to the gut, the back, and again for both.

Punch from Cactus Jack and a low blow, here's a DDT.

Foley goes to find his barbed wire again, HHH tries to get it but runs into the ref. HHH hit in the face with the barbed wire! JR is going nuts! Another shot, HHH is bleeding from the face.

HHH is red everywhere, here's another swipe of barbed wire. Let's go to the tables. This is the normal announce table! Back body drop through the table! Spaniards are still in one piece!

Pedigree blocked, Cactus Jack bulldogs HHH onto the barbed wire. Another two count.

Cactus Jack flipped onto the stairs, now run into them. Barbed wire to the leg! HHH grabs some handcuffs, they're blocked. Now they're on Foley.

Stairs in the ring, Foley with a drop toe hold onto the stairs! Low blow shoulder!

HHH with the chair, a chunk of it breaks off on Foley's back. Another chair. Another one.

Foley wants more! Rock is here with a chair! HHH is down! The handcuffs are off. To the spanish table! Piledriver! Bang bang!

Under the ring, are these thumbtacks? Yes! All over the ring! Stephanie runs out. Foley back body dropped on to them. Pedigree, it's over. Wait, it's not! Kicked out!

"FOLEY FOLEY FOLEY" another pedigree onto the thumbtacks. Foley's dead. He's got tacks in his face.

HHH gets carted off. Cactus Jack walks it off. He brings back HHH. Barbed wire again!

--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

Ring cleanup taking forever. Oh, here's the rumble. Since we're in MSG, the wrestlers have a short walkway for this. "Regularly scheduled intervals of two minutes or less"? Well how much time is it? "Thrown out" and "both feet" are the rules this year, better keep that in mind.

Royal Rumble

#1 is D-Lo! #2 is Grand Master Sexay, Lawler is disappointed.

Here comes a running powerbomb, but Grandmaster turns it into a hurricanrana. #3 in is Mosh, he's got cone boobs. Wait, Kaientai runs out for no reason. They uh get beaten up and thrown out and that's it?

Now we get a power bomb, and a bulldog. #4 in is Christian. He breaks free of a powerbomb to hit a DDT.

#5 in is Rikishi, still nobody eliminated. Superkick and Mosh is #1 out. And then he tosses Christian already, that's #2 out. D-Lo won't go down so easily. Oh wait, yes he does, D-Lo's #3 out.

Grandmaster and Rikishi are friends and stare down because it's just them. #6 in is Scotty 2 hotty, oh god the whole team's here and I've seen what's coming before with no understanding of context, but lord no. Dance party.

Oh wait Rikishi turns on his friends, #4 and #5 out are Grandmaster and Scotty.

#7 out is Steve Blackman, no more dancing with him here. Rikishi does his Rikishi driver move, Blackman's #6 out of here, whoa a huge push for Fatu.

#8 is Viscera, so much for clearing the ring. Belly to belly suplex and Rikishi's down. Oh hey, three superkicks, a big push, Viscera's #7 gone, holy cow.

#9 in is Big Bossman. He's smart and killing time. So here's #10, Test. Oh yeah, this guy. He goes after Bossman outside the ring.

Everyone hitting low blows because they can. #11 in is British Bulldog. Rikishi wants to sit on him, not gonna happen.

#12 in is Gangrel. He puts his sunglasses in his blood cup. Wait, here's Kaientai again? And squashed again. The hell is this.

#13 in is Edge, he gets a good pop. Everyone gangs up on him. Rikishi with a banzai drop on Bossman.

#14 is... I remember this music. It's Bob Backlund! How old is this guy now, why does he still look 30. Everyone teams up, #8 gone is Rikishi. Crowd boos.

#15 is Jericho! He kicks out Backlund, that's #9 gone. Backlund goes through the crowd, this campaigning storyline works once every four years.

#16 in is Crash Holly. Edge barely hanging on. And #17 in is Chyna.

She goes after Jericho, she suplexes him and he's #10 out. And Bossman pushes her, so Chyna's #11 out. Guess this feud isn't over.

--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

#18 in is Faarooq. Oh no here's the Mean Street Posse. They beat down Faarooq. Bossman helps and Faarooq's #12 out.

#19 in is Road Dogg. OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Crowd says "We want puppies." From who?

#20 in is Al Snow. Road Dogg gets out Bulldog, so he's #13 out.

#21 is HELLO LADIES. Here's Val Venis. Everyone hates Test. Hey, here's Kaientai. And back out. And here comes #22, Prince Albert. Al Snow and Val dump out Edge, who is #14 out. Road Dogg wants to hide in the corner.

#23 is Hardcore Holly. Crash is almost out, but both Hollys stay in.

Time for #24, IF YA SMELL. Rock is here. Bossman gone, that's #15 out. "ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY!"

#25 in is Billy Gunn, we got both Outalws. Rock DDTs Crash, he's finally gone and #16 out.

Here's #26, Big Show. He dumps Test right out, Test is #17 gone. And Gangrel is #18 gone. He and Rock are going at it.

#27 in is Bradshaw. Here's the posse again. Bradshaw can take them all on. And all three are gone. But the Outalws take advantage, #19 gone is Bradshaw.

Lights go out, and #28 is Kane. Val wants to fight Kane, but gets chokeslammed out of the ring. Val's #20 gone. Big Show presses Billy way into the air.

#29 in is Godfather as Kane dumps out #21, Prince Albert. Kaientai is back. Out goes Funaki. Ho's are finally leaving and here comes #30, X-Pac. Boo.

Snow dumps out Hardcore Holly as #22 gone. And Godfather is #23 gone, Big Show dumped him. And Rock knocks out Snow for #24.

Billy Gunn throws out Road Dogg! Road Dogg's #25 gone. Kane hits out Billy, #26 out. Kane, X-Pac, Rock, and Big Show are the final four. Kane is pulled out through the bottom rope. He's fighting Billy.

Rock throws out X-Pac, he's #27 gone. Wait, refs missed it, X-Pac is back in. Kane and Big Show trading chokes. Kane with an enzuigiri. And a body slam! X-Pac heel kicks Kane out, Kane's #27 gone.

Big Show tosses X-Pac, now he's #28 gone. Rock with a leg takedown, here's the elbow! Big show to the edge, but he stops and a chokeslam. Big Show picks up Rock, runs for the edge, Rock grabs the ropes and pulls Big Show out. Rock wins the rumble!

Rock with a speech. Crowd desperately trying to talk along on the fly. Big Show runs back in to beat up Rock.

Star of the PPV: Cactus Jack

--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...

Wow I hadn't remembered how little star power that rumble had. You show me the list of guys in it and it's pretty much down to Kane, Big Show, and The Rock as likely winners, and the Rock is a huge favorite between the three.

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No problem!
This is a cute and pop genocide of love!

That was the storyline going into it, actually. "One of these three guys is gonna win!" <_<

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Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
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