Lurker > davidponte

LurkerFAQs, Active Database ( 12.31.2018-present ), DB1, DB2, DB3, DB4, Clear
Board List
Page List: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 13
TopicB8 NFL Suicide League: Week 1
davidponte
08/19/19 9:49:20 PM
#13
Is this the year I make it past week two?

no
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicBoard 8's Top 100 Video Game Characters - Voting Phase 3 (Final Phase)
davidponte
08/18/19 9:34:11 PM
#20
List is sent.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicHappy International Left-Handed Day fellow lefties
davidponte
08/13/19 11:54:06 PM
#12
I too am a lefty!

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicRed Dead Redemption 2 is the most overrated game I have played
davidponte
08/13/19 12:25:44 AM
#12
RDR2 was simultaneously my favourite game of 2018 and one of my least favourite games to play of 2018, which doesn't make any sense, but that's how I feel.

The moment to moment gameplay ranged from "solid" to "mildly annoying" for me. None of it felt particularly "fun", although I don't think that's technically a requirement when playing a game. It was slow at the best of times, and doing anything in the world kind of felt like a chore. The biggest offender to me was having to walk at a snails pace through camp. I can understand that Rockstar was going for immersion, and sometimes it did work, but most of the time it just felt like it got in the way.

With all that being said, getting to the next story beat or emotional high was more than worth it. This game contains some of my favourite single moments in gaming altogether through some of the major moments, and I instantly forgot about all the mildly annoying things every time I got to one of those points. I loved the story, loved the character development, and loved the emotion, especially in the late game. The good heavily outweighed the mediocre, for me.

Essentially what I'm saying is I wish the game was an interactive movie.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicBoard 8's Top 100 Video Game Characters - Voting Phase 2
davidponte
08/09/19 11:42:15 PM
#39
I've sent in a list!

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicHearthstone Discussion Topic 519 - The Rise of the Mech
davidponte
08/09/19 1:12:15 PM
#247
First game, a played Zephrys took me from a 0% chance to survive the next turn to a situation in which I couldn't have lost. That doesn't seem like it'll be infuriating at all!

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicHearthstone Discussion Topic 519 - The Rise of the Mech
davidponte
08/09/19 12:29:09 PM
#246
Still have yet to play a game this expansion after opening up my packs. Looking at HSreplay and the Control Warrior build seems really boring which is right up my alley. Also interested in that Highlander Hunter build. Time to spend some of this dust.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicNFL Discussion Topic
davidponte
08/09/19 12:21:32 PM
#29
Is the pre-season over yet
---
Posted using GameFlux
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/07/19 2:30:45 PM
#173
So the Azores is still a ways off from mainland Europe and it's only 4 hours ahead of EST.

Leafs/Raptors games at 11pm and Football at 5pm is very much doable.

I can still kind of legally watch it too by logging into my cable account that the family pays for from there and streaming it.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicHearthstone Discussion Topic 519 - The Rise of the Mech
davidponte
08/06/19 10:07:28 PM
#217
I got the Warrior, Priest, and Shaman quests in 45 packs. Which ones are good?

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/06/19 7:30:00 PM
#162
foolm0r0n posted...
Tell your family (or gf) to teach you portuguese already


I understand it a decent amount just from being around my grandma all these years, but struggle when it comes to speaking.
---
Brought to you by GameFlux
Free GameFAQs app on Google Play!
TopicNFL Discussion Topic
davidponte
08/06/19 7:25:43 PM
#24
So apparently Antonio Brown got frostbite on his feet. In Oakland. In August.

by entering a cryotherapy machine without the proper footwear
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/06/19 4:16:33 PM
#155
Also apparently because my dad was born there I qualify to be a Portuguese citizen without needing to do anything but apply, which solves about 90% of the logistics issues of going to another country long term.
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/06/19 4:11:33 PM
#154
Gatarix posted...
okay I didn't think about holidays, you raise a good point


Yeah, I think your original point and then what Corrik said is likely a good representation of things, at least the way I understand it.

This is really happening, and I'm excited for it. We told my parents and then most of my extended family and almost everyone shared similar thoughts to most here, they say there's no harm in trying and I've got nothing to lose. A lot of, "we're excited but also incredibly sad". My dad shed a tear, told me if it wasn't for my younger sister he'd be right there with me over there.

My grandma wasn't the happiest, which was rough because she might be the person I'd miss the most. It's a little funny because she is super cultural Portuguese, speaks it at home, and lived there before migrating here in the 70s. She's never been back but now she has a reason to go, I guess.

I've already got half the family trying to figure out when to visit, so that made me feel better.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicHearthstone Discussion Topic 519 - The Rise of the Mech
davidponte
08/06/19 1:49:11 PM
#203
I guess it's time to get back into this now
---
Brought to you by GameFlux
Free GameFAQs app on Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/05/19 8:36:12 PM
#143
I can go into more detail later, but literally the only reason we haven't gotten married is because of financials. We've both openly discussed it and know it's coming, but I don't want to be one of those people who is engaged for 5 years, so we agreed that we wouldnt get engaged until we were ready.

By discussed it I mean not recently, but yeah.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/05/19 8:31:16 PM
#141
No proposal. Still not at a computer so I can't reply to everyone yet, but we talked it all over again and came to the conclusion that the time was the issue.

On her end it was essentially, "I can't wait until January, I need to go sooner", which is where the, "I don't know if I want to be there alone" came from, because she assumed I wouldn't budge on the date. Once we talked and I thought about it, the difference between January and October isn't big enough that it changes my mind, so I expressed genuine interest in going earlier and that changed everything for the better.

The "I should feel happy but don't" feeling is gone from her now that the date has moved up, so I guess that's that.
---
Posted using GameFlux
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/05/19 3:20:55 PM
#132
Sorry guys, I feel like I left you all hanging there for longer than I should have. The responses have been great, and mostly positive, I think? Which is good. I'll respond to everyone in a bit, currently not home, but I will say that some of the recommendations were things I did independently and I believe we're in a better spot now. Things are looking up after they were incredibly down, and I'll explain all that when I get a chance.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/05/19 11:30:04 AM
#104
Well, I just got the hammer dropped on me, guys. I think this is leading towards us breaking up.

Despite my best efforts to pledge myself to the idea of going there, trying it out, and being excited about it potentially working out and it turning into a permanent thing, it's not enough. I feel like every day I've given a little more of myself in at attempt to make things work, only for her to come back a few hours later and tell me, "I should be happy but I'm not".

Today we woke up and she told me she didn't think she could wait any longer. Initially we agreed and she was very happy with the idea of going in January to give me a little more time with my family and to save some more money. So I said that, because I'm genuinely excited to do this now, I'd be willing to go earlier. Still not enough.

So then she just said it and explained that she's confused. She doesn't know if she wants it to be us together, or if she wants it to be her alone there, and it's currently split right down the middle. I told her she should probably break up with me, and she continued to explain that she doesn't want that and wants to be with me. I turned into a human question mark and pointed to the sentence right before that and explained that I don't see how both of those thoughts can co-exist. Again, any time I explain the situation in plain terms and tell her that if she doesn't know she should probably just break up with me, she explains that she doesn't want that. I don't know what to do. It would absolutely be easier for me to just break up with her, but that gives me the same "What if?" of whether it could have worked out or not.

This was all this morning, where the first thing she told me was, "Maybe I should get some help and talk to someone."

I should also go into detail for the sake of context of new information for everyone here. I'm positive I mentioned in one of my posts that I'm the only reason that she comes back, and otherwise she would just stay there forever. This is important because I think it makes what she said next less hurtful, and more understandable, maybe? Or it's bad and I'm in shock and I'm trying to spin it positively. Anyway, she explained that there were moments on her latest trip where she kind of wished she didn't have to worry or think about me so that she could just stay there. I asked for clarification, she tells me that it's not a, "I wished I was single so I could go out and go crazy", but rather, "I just really wanted to be there and obviously it would be an easier decision if I didn't have you".

Either way, kind of shitty, right? I feel like this is the point in the post where everyone instantly replies with, "You need to let her go, dude". We tried to rationalize this with the idea that it's understandable because it wasn't necessarily her wanting to be single, but rather her wanting to do what it takes to be there long term. I also said that this was obviously something that occurred before we talked about me going, so she never could have even imagined being together there when those thoughts first came up.

She agreed that could be the case, but even then, we are still currently at the stale mate of her not knowing what she wants, and that kind of fucking hurts considering I've already mentally prepared myself and became happy and excited about the possibility of our future together.

My last 72 hours have gone from me thinking life was great, to me being distraught with what I had heard, to me accepting and then getting excited about the future, to now me thinking that it's all over. I'm not feeling the greatest, to say the least.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/05/19 9:16:14 AM
#102
We both live with our families currently and the only meaningful bills I pay are a phone bill and my student loans, so moving back amounts to buying a ticket home.
---
Brought to you by GameFlux
Free GameFAQs app on Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 10:45:53 PM
#99
Corrik7 posted...
Can you afford to move?


This is where her family comes in. Obviously we can afford the tickets and have what is really an insignificant amount of money saved up (a couple thousand between the two of us), but we wouldn't be paying rent until theoretically later down the line. We'd be living at her grandparents house, where all of the kids have moved out and they're rarely home. It's kind of the closest we could get to "private" living in a sense. Her family owns a restaurant there so there is a guaranteed spot for at least one of us as far as work goes if it takes time to get on our feet.

Both the cost of living and the pay there are like a tenth of what they are here, but it's much easier to survive and even excel at "minimum wage" over there. Her young aunt and uncle just bought a house there and he works at the restaurant and she works at a furniture store.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 10:08:11 PM
#92
ChaosTonyV4 posted...
If thats the case, its an even easier decision, imo.

After living in Toronto her whole life, she visited Portugal and feels such a connection that she is no longer happy in Toronto.

You both have Portuguese heritage, you said you enjoyed your time there. Its a no brainer.

Either you both go or you break up, imo. If you convince her not to go, shes going to resent you forever, and if you hate it, well now you know, and can move back.


Absolutely. I'm feeling better than I ever have about going right now. I'm actually excited about it?

Peridiam posted...
How well cemented are you with your current job?


Not at all. I'll explain my situation a little bit. I graduated with my BeD in April, but the newly elected Conservative government literally fucked teachers and essentially made it nearly impossible to find a job as a new teacher, so I didn't.

I currently work seasonal at a fast food place that only runs from April-September. I've been wanting out forever. I did just get a new job that is only 15 hours a week at a solid pay upgrade that is kind of related to my field (running afterschool programs for kids), but that was something to get to pay the bills while I wait for the teaching thing to work itself out and to put on the resume.

So my position is very fluid, to say the least.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 9:32:28 PM
#89
StealThisSheen posted...
The reason I said it seemed like she wasn't willing to compromise is that the way he framed it makes it sound like she's not in the same situation as him. The way I read it is they've lived in Toronto their whole/most of their lives, met there, have been together there this whole time, etc., and she has just visited Portugal. Now, she wants to move there completely, and his choice is uproot everything as well or break up.


This is 100% the case.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 8:55:55 PM
#86
@UltimaterializerX @redrocket @ChaosTonyV4 @PerfectChaosZ @MZero11 @GranzonEx @StealThisSheen

I hope that kind of clears up the mental health thing. Did not want to come off as inconsiderate and thank you for making me see clearly.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 8:54:05 PM
#85
Okay, back on a computer and I want to clear up some misconceptions.

I don't think I'm being attacked, and appreciate people voicing differing opinions and opinions that differ from what I initially thought.

MZero11 posted...
I think he was asking if he should bring it up, not whether we think she has a mental health issue or not


This is correct. I wasn't trying to be an accuser, as I mentioned in my last post. I was just thinking out loud and I appreciate people getting me to realize that I was way off base in thinking that. Thanks, genuinely. As I said, I probed into it lightly with my girlfriend and it's all good. It's not something I'm thinking about anymore.

@MariaTaylor I appreciate your comments, I really do. I also think that you don't have all the facts and have done some assuming and that's on me at least partly, if not totally. I've made it clear that I want to try, and in fact, since that first post, have felt much better about the trying thanks to the support from people here. I want to try and I want this to work. So, she was born and raised in Toronto, just like me, and she has lived here her entire life. She goes to Portugal a whole lot but honestly has probably spent less than a collective two years there in her entire life. She hasn't just "spent some time here". 95% of her life has been here. That doesn't change how she feels or change any of this, but it should change some of the word usage being thrown around in here for sure.

MariaTaylor posted...
sure but it's completely unfair to push this narrative that she is somehow being unreasonable and refusing to budge even a little bit when he is actually the one refusing to compromise. she has been dealing with the exact same complications (being away from family) that he is so keen on avoiding! the irony is fucking ridiculous. I wasn't going to comment on this topic until I saw the mental illness thing and now I just can't hold my tongue.


Something like this, for example, given the new information.

Again, I love the replies, they have helped tremendously, and I love the replies that disagree with me. I'm so glad my idea of mental health being a possibility was immediately shot down, because frankly I was wrong.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 8:34:52 PM
#83
I'm like 20 replies behind but I feel like I need to say this because of the overwhelming feeling here:

Mental illness was not the right word to use there, and it's not what I meant. I didn't mean to imply that this was an issue that needed to be fixed, or anything like that. I realize in hindsight that post made me come off like an inconsiderate asshole and I really don't want people to think that, because that's not my motive here.

Sorry for that. I will say that I had a discussion with my girlfriend in much friendlier words and it's all good.

Back to reading the replies.
---
Brought to you by GameFlux
Free GameFAQs app on Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 5:44:56 PM
#53
Yeah, that makes sense.

We're deep enough into this relationship and know each other enough that I can absolutely seriously bring this up without causing more harm here. If she truly doesn't take to talking to someone professionally, I'm not going to force it.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicWhat NFL team is your main team?
davidponte
08/04/19 5:05:17 PM
#4
Pats
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 5:02:39 PM
#50
Fuck, I don't know what to do. It's clear that everyone here agrees it might not be a good idea, and my friend thinks that it's absolutely necessary.
---
Posted using GameFlux
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 4:33:58 PM
#46
So I potentially have an update. Nothing new in terms of conversation, but some information that may or may not be relevant that I didn't really think about before this.

I just spent some time talking to a good friend of both of ours that has known us both since before we started dating, and she brought up something that I also briefly mentioned to my girlfriend that I probably shouldn't have let be dismissed so easily.

What if there is some sort of prevailing mental health issue here? I don't mean to trivialize in the sense that I think, "because she wants change something must be wrong", but the signs are there. She enjoys being there so much because of family and because of the support she gets. Here, the support isn't there from anyone but me. Her home life isn't the greatest, without going into too much detail, and there are issues there. So when she goes back to Portugal, those issues disappear and suddenly she is showered with support from a dozen people that she only really receives from me and a few close friends here.

I brought up the idea of seeking help, talking to a professional. I did this early on in the stages of our conversation yesterday morning. Our mutual friend then independently also suggested that as the very first thing to do in her talk with me. My girlfriend is adamant that it isn't that kind of issue because she doesn't feel it that way and just feels better there, but I don't think it could make it worse, could it?

The issue now, though, is that I feel like I'd have to backtrack if I was serious about this. To go from, "Hey, I'll try this out", to, "Hey, maybe you should talk to someone before we make any decisions", is going to feel like I've changed my mind about things and don't believe what she believes she's feeling.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicNFL Discussion Topic
davidponte
08/04/19 3:56:35 PM
#20
The Pats in the superbowl would also be tough
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicNFL Discussion Topic
davidponte
08/04/19 1:55:12 PM
#9
While the "you don't need a star RB/WR to win a super bowl" argument is technically true if we look at the last 20 years or so of super bowls, it's kind of a skewed stat because the Patriots have been involved in a lot of them and they do things differently than every other team in the league.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicNFL Discussion Topic
davidponte
08/04/19 1:21:15 PM
#1
Looks like the Patriots are re-signing their starting QB. Seems like a risk to employ someone over the age of 40.
---
Posted using GameFlux
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 10:58:36 AM
#45
MZero11 posted...
Is she dead set on living in Sao Miguel specifically? Maybe you could compromise on mainland Portugal? I'm not really sure about the geographical details. That does make a pretty big difference imo


The location is important. It's not Portugal that matters, it's her family and the lifestyle. If her family all lived here, this wouldn't be an issue. Her mom came to Canada when she was 18 and every other person in the family stayed behind, so she has no one else here.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 10:27:04 AM
#42
I don't know how much of a difference this makes but I should clarify that her family is from Sao Miguel (as well as mine), the largest of the Azores islands and not a part of mainland Portugal.

It's definitely more "rural" but they still have all the important stuff, solid internet, cable, mall, a big city. They likely don't have Amazon or a delivery equivalent, odds are comics are going to be tough to find, and I'm not sure on the gaming situation, although I'd obviously bring my stuff over. These are all little things that are a part of my life now that would facilitate me enjoying a life there.

Going from Toronto, with a popularion of 4+ million, to Sao Miguel, where the entire island has like 100 000 people on it, is obviously a huge endeavor.

A "positive", though, is that "life" seems easier there. Her family all own homes and have cars and some of them work at restaurants or the mall, and they still go out and enjoy life.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/04/19 9:55:31 AM
#39
I think it's worth a try, I really do. In my current state, having not lived there, I can't imagine it obviously, but I'll never know for sure until I try. That's been the thought in most of the replies and my thoughts as well.

The sinking feeling in my stomach continues to come from the after. What if I don't like it? It's clear from the replies and from my own looking inward that the only mind that's going to change here is mine now.

I just don't know what to do. Despite the idea that it's worth it to try, I feel like that sinking feeling is going to never go away until a final conclusion is reached. I'm sitting here trying to decide what's worse: the feeling of breaking up right now, or the feeling of going through everything with a sinking feeling and knowing if I don't change the result is the same.

I'm honestly not sure what the answer is.
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 10:55:09 PM
#32
I think you're right, and I'm not entirely sure how to feel.

Unrelated to those comments, but there's a large part of me that just wishes things would "go back to normal" and I'm finally beginning to understand that the "normal" I want is never going to happen. It feels particularly bad, to be honest.

There's also a smaller part of me that thinks things will never be truly "good" again. I'm kind of dreading waking up in the morning and having to confront this all over again.

But those are both me issues that I need to deal with.
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 10:30:29 PM
#29
Got held up with something.

ShatteredElysium posted...
Obviously not the exact same as you as there's a language change and it seems she isn't willing to consider that possibility? I would say worst case it is worth trying the move over there. If you love her, you should probably be willing to try the unknown and see what happens. Seems silly to throw away a long term relationship over something that is unknown


The language barrier is real for sure, and something that'd have to be addressed, but it feels like it's at the bottom of the list of priorities right now. In previous trips, her family has tried to engage me in what English they knew, so an effort was made at least. I think most of the replies here have agreed that it can't really hurt to try, and that has helped immensely to make me feel better about the idea of trying in the first place. For awhile there I thought it was crazy to even entertain the idea at all.

banananor posted...
you talk about patching things up, but it honestly sounds like there's nothing wrong with the relationship, just with geography. that's not common. as i've heard, the singular, deciding, tautological quality that predicts whether a relationship continues in the long run is the couple's unwillingness to break up. so, how unwilling to break up are you?

lastly, no matter what you end up doing (you're both obviously perched between two hard places), your life is going to be a very fun and interesting ride. things are difficult for everyone from time to time, and this is a very common mid-20s crisis to have


I appreciate the kind words, definitely helped to calm me down a little. I do think there is an unwillingness to break up here, and to try to make things work. She has told me explicitly that if she didn't care so much and didn't want it to work so bad she wouldn't be going through all this and would have already made the decision to leave alone.

Tom Bombadil posted...
also I don't think I ever actually said it but good luck you are a good dude so I hope it works out well in the long run one way or another


This means a lot. Thanks.

---
I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 9:21:06 PM
#27
I'll be in front of a keyboard in 15 minutes to go through some of these replies and my thoughts.

Thanks everyone, just hearing different opinions has helped me tremendously.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 9:03:20 PM
#22
Drakeryn posted...
For the record, I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. Wanting to live in the USA is reasonable. Wanting to live in Portugal is reasonable. They just don't work together.

I suggest going there for a year (since you don't have a job here anyway, and it sounds like you can find something there). I don't think you'd regret trying, since (1) you liked the place well enough on visits, (2) overseas teaching probably looks good on a resume(?), and (3) it's probably better than always wondering "what if I had gone to Portugal with her?" But in the event that your mind doesn't change, then:

GranzonEx posted...
this is going to sound harsh but you need to break this off

she wants to live in another country and you don't, it's that simple


This is a solid point. Career wise it might actually be beneficial for me in the long run.

I live in Canada also, but it doesn't make a difference.
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 9:00:50 PM
#21
Still on mobile:

In response to Emerald, your two options were no joke the exact same hypotheticals I initially posed to her. It is where we came to the conclusion that we'd have to decide whether the risk of option 1 is better than option 2, which neither of us want.

In response to Mzero and Corrik, I both didn't want to hear what you're saying and also glad to hear it, because in my mind I'm clinging to this hope that she'll change her mind, and even she says she might, but the reality is that she almost definitely won't and I now have to recognize and think that.

In response to Tom, I have almost nothing to lose from going there for a year, but she has told me that time probably isn't a factor. Being there for 3 months doesn't make it less likely she changes her mind than a year does, as of now. I guess what it might do is ensure that I know for sure where I stand.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 8:31:21 PM
#13
My biggest worry is that I try everything and nothing changes and it ends up ending poorly anyway. Would I regret the attempt to salvage it?
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 7:54:55 PM
#9
Also, and this is not really a factor at all, but I just don't know what I'd do being single at this point.

8 years, especially the 17-25 years. I don't even know what it's like to go on a first date

I want to stress that this is absolutely a "I can't see myself without her" situation and not a "I don't want to have to find someone else" situation. But I'll be honest and say that I'd feel lost and very lonely if this didn't work out.
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 7:51:57 PM
#7
On mobile right now so I can't quote everyone effectively, but I'll try to respond generally.

I am unwilling to do long distance relationships. I'm already a little depressed when she leaves, and it would only make me miserable in the long run.

In terms of why I don't want to move there right now, I just don't think I'd be ready for something like that. I really enjoy the way my life is now. I live with and am close with family, and I know that isn't going to last forever and want to cherish it while I can. Maybe in 3 years I'd be open to it? But I can't make any promises and it's equally unfair to make her wait years for me to decide.
---
GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 7:24:08 PM
#3
I'm excited about the prospect of living there for a few months, but am positive that I don't want to spend the rest of my life there.

She's actually being reasonable in that she appreciates that I'm willing to try to see if her feelings change, but can't promise that they will and that it's unfair to me to put my life on pause for something that is uncertain.
---
Posted using GameFlux
TopicI need to vent about a relationship issue and cant talk to others [Blogfaqs]
davidponte
08/03/19 7:16:34 PM
#1
I don't think I've ever gone in-depth about my personal life on here, and I try to keep it light-hearted as much as possible, but I kind of need to talk at someone, or at least know that someone is listening even if no one responds.

To set the scene: I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 8 years now. Definitely a high school sweetheart scenario, and we're both 25 now. We're both of Portuguese descent, but the difference is she identifies more with her Portuguese roots and 90% of her immediate family lives back in Portugal. This is important.

Almost every year she has gone back to visit her family for anywhere from two weeks to a month, and that's cool. She's very close to them. Sometimes she goes alone, sometimes with her family, I've even gone twice and had a pretty good time, I barely speak the language but it's been good. When I'm not there we're in communication, there's no trust/jealousy issues, we never argue, it's all very "too good to be true" seeming.

So here's the issue. Last year around this time after coming back she broke down and told me that she is the most happy there and her dream would be for the both of us to move there. She's always a little upset when she gets back, she's incredibly attached to her family (in a way that honestly might be unhealthy), so I consoled her and tabled the discussion. A few months later we had a serious talk and she understood that she wasn't realistic and we agreed that she'd go for a long period of time this year before settling down and starting our lives as we both just finished school. Everything seemed great. She went for 40 days, minimal issues, and just got back.

Obviously she's in the very upset stage of her return, but she essentially said that going for longer only made it worse and now she's certain that the only thing that would truly make her happy is if at the very least we tried the living there thing, to see how we both felt about it.

I was honest with her. I said I'd be excited to try to live there awhile, because I am, and because there are no teaching jobs here it wouldnt be the worst move to teach English abroad, but I also told her the truth, and that is that I don't think I could ever live there forever. I'm willing to compromise because I obviously love her and do want her to see her family as often as possible, but essentially drew the line at living there.

Obviously she knows I'm being reasonable and already doing more than most would, and she appreciates that, but she doesn't know if that'll be "enough". Where I am willing to compromise, she is not moving an inch.

So here's where i'm at. Do I spend another year of my life trying this idea out with the risk of feelings not changing, or does this relationship end here? I don't blame her, she feels strongly about something and I'm not here to hold her back, and we both also understand that she's the unreasonable one here.

But neither of us want this to end badly. She's honestly more distraught than I am because she's got to make the decision here. We're both on opposite sides of the equation and there is no more potential comprimising, unless she somehow wants to come back after trying it out. I just don't know what to do and am unwilling to come to the understanding that the relationship I've spent my entire adult life in may be coming to an end.

I've rambled here, and the answer might be a simple "let her go", but I just needed to get it all out.
---
Brought to you by GameFlux
Free GameFAQs app on Google Play!
TopicNHL Discussion Topic - Part 6 - Screw the Bruins
davidponte
08/02/19 9:27:39 AM
#317
Chiarelli would get the Wild to tank then trade their first round pick for a bag of pucks. Be careful what you wish for.
---
Brought to you by GameFlux
Free GameFAQs app on Google Play!
TopicPS+ August 2019
davidponte
07/31/19 11:38:35 AM
#2
Neither of these interest me in the slightest.
---
Posted using GameFlux
Get it now for Android from Google Play!
TopicMLB and Baseball Topic #2: Jeff Wilpon is an Embarrass-met
davidponte
07/29/19 12:42:58 PM
#159
Apparently there was a commotion in the Jays clubhouse after the game yesterday and it involved Stroman being pissed that he got traded to the bad New York team.
---
Posted using GameFlux
TopicMLB and Baseball Topic #2: Jeff Wilpon is an Embarrass-met
davidponte
07/28/19 6:54:26 PM
#137
So you're saying this is good for the Jays
---
Posted using GameFlux
Board List
Page List: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 13