Lurker > ScofieldReturns

Purple_Cheetah posted...

It took a long time, but I did finally find out why my dad was anti-pet for the longest time.

Because you get attached, then something bad happens to it. So because he had a dog, that eventually died, he basically said none of us could ever have a cat or dog.

my parents just thought they were dirty and didnt want to deal with poop

Feline_Heart posted...

You've got to be trolling

wat

YWS-is-King posted...

Hes totally in shape and does good on dating sites.

Totally.

wat

YWS-is-King posted...

Yeahhhhh sure

i dont understand what youre trying to say

Giant_Aspirin posted...

talking to friends at school and discovering that most children don't live that way

i didn't talk to people at school

TheGoldenEel posted...

this topic explains a lot tbh

it isn't anything i've never said before

rough childhood then spent college locked in my room studying engineering (at least that turned out good)

was so behind socially i became a pick up artist to have a fulfilling dating life and got really good at it

bsp77 posted...

Uh... if true, that is abuse

well yeah, i've been saying my parents were abusive for years lol

Giant_Aspirin posted...

at the time did you realize how strange that was?

no, how could i

bsp77 posted...

Did you not visit other people's houses? I just remember most people having at least a cat or a dog.

i wasn't allowed out of the house except for school lol

YWS-is-King posted...

So im guessing your friend is a 55 balding out of shape beta IRL then?

lol he's 5-6 and bald, but he's in shape and does p well on tinder. he is living with his grandma now tho and doesn't have anywhere to take girls so decided to fuck around

AngelsNAirwav3s posted...

One of my old friends made it to the top 3 on the Bachelorette one season and after that he was saying he gets tons of Instagram DMs every day from thirsty bitches looking to fuck

top 3 on the bachelorette is legit

Atralis posted...

Where did you live? Out in suburbia in the land of yards with high fences pets are everywhere. In the city not so much.

i grew up in the suburbs

bsp77 posted...

Your parents kinda sucked for lying to you like that

not even the worst thing they've lied to me about lol

WingsOfGood posted...

she had dhiarrhea and got it all over your watch collection?

not that far off tbh

R1masher posted...

I thought for sure all your friends were actual chads

chads dont become pick up artists lol. why put in work to get laid when it happens naturally with little effort

BlackBlueButts posted...

For a lot of people. Sad it took a pandemic for workplaces to properly implement it.

they're still trying to get me back up to 3 office days a week lmao

we are stuck at 1 for now, i'm betting they try to up it after flu season

but like our lease is up anyway, why not just forfeit and let us WFH full time...

he's getting a million matches, girls are messaging him first and some are even flat out asking him to fuck

my job doesn't actually require 40 hours to do, so i can get everything done in 10 hours and have the other 30 hours to myself, as long as i check emails and remain available for work requests

AngelsNAirwav3s posted...

Google says 70% of US households have pets

wtf...i meant was it like 51% lol...that is insane

Questionmarktarius posted...

Your parents just wanted you to shut up about it.

probably

K181 posted...

Your parents were just anti-pet.

they were

growing up my parents told me it was extremely uncommon and i just kinda believed them my whole life. but with the popularity of social media, i'm noticing a lot of ppl with cats and dogs

had some blemishes i was able to hide

a-c-a-b posted...

Imagine being so pathetic that girls won't even respond to you in your own made up stories.

imagine being so bitter you wait for me to post on an alt so you can attack me in my topics lmao

None of them replied

https://imgur.com/SY21kjQ

DespondentDeity posted...

oh we can split it means we aint fuckin

some girls offer just to see if you let her and deduct points if you do

source: my beauty queen ex gf

*pulls out credit card*
her: oh we can split it
me: oh it's fine, i got it
her: are you sure? we can split it
me: nah it's cool

if she triple insisted on splitting i would have let her

first first date i haven't had sex on since pre-pandemic

i don't really mind/care

end of an era

WingsOfGood posted...

why would you making a post about getting in a hot tub with her get you purged tho

because of what happened next

WingsOfGood posted...

no_u_l7, I always post in your threads and support you, please tell me why you got purged

i did in the op

spikethedevil posted...

What was the post?

WingsOfGood posted...

what post?

nice try, i'm not repeating it. you can use your imagination

Dakimakura posted...

All of vegy's alts getting in trouble today

so all his alts get banned but 1 of mine gets purged and that makes you think it's more likely we're the same person? how does that make any sense lol

MC_BatCommander posted...

Fair next, that was a gross post

hey, no kink shaming

what happens next gets No_U_L7 purgatoried

60 F because that's when i break out the peacoat

brotrrwinner posted...

This reads like a joke at a standup comedy show

yeah Im working it into my routine

Up

I used to look at a $100 purchase and hesitate, think to myself thats 3 digits do I really need it before buying

now I dont even hesitate on $100. But if something costs $250, Ill pause and think to myself thats a quarter of a grand do I really need it before buying

36DD, 34D, 32A, 34B

(all estimates, but I know my stuff)

https://www.nbcsports.com/bayarea/warriors/steph-curry-gifts-draymond-green-andre-iguodala-rolex-watches-after-record?amp

ugh how do I get a friend like that

Are there really girls out there who refuse to go down on a guy?

divot1338 posted...

That chick is emaciated. Forget dick, someone put a sandwich in her.

i like my girls skinny

YoungMutual posted...

Lol sucker

only way to get Picture in Picture on iPhone

The last stand ruined it

Up

Imagine being this clueless about blocking ads on youtube

i used all of those but finally just paid for premium to block ads on smart tv and Vance doesnt work on iPhone

Fuck

Ive been carrying around that compact for no reason

Does the waitresses panties just evaporate on the spot when you hand it to her?

Notti posted...

You said once a girl vomited after waking up next to you, right?

no, it was in the middle of sex

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


if thats what she wants to do, Id be proud of her because I respect sex workers

MarveI posted...

Who names their kid Kyler?

im gonna name my kid kyler just to spite you now