Lurker > Not_Wylvane

brb
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aqua vs. quiet

video game popularity contests were a mistake

so was life
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ellie vs. kos-mos

i'm going to gargle a bag of razor blades and dance myself to a concussion, it'll still be preferable to seeing this match exist in this poorly-thought-out dimension we call a dimension
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commander shepard vs. king k. rool

what's with the fucking obsession with royalty, it's a royal pain in the king ass
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ryu vs. you know what it doesn't matter

you know what it doesn't matter should've fucking won imo
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lara croft vs. metal man

what's with everyone's obsession with metal, it's rough and gets under your skin when someone uses it to stab you, not ideal imo
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amaterasu vs. draven

you're amaterasu me crazy
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richter belmont vs. captain falcon

fart
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sephiroth vs. albert whisker

yes i'm making albert whisker a cat now, i'd like to see you do something about that, punk
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mega man x vs. isabelle

isabelle'nt you glad i didn't say mega man zero mission, because i'm certainly not, so

mega man zero mission
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king dedede vs. revolver ocelot

they should swap these two characters, make ocelot a king and give dedede a gun
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glados vs. mewtwo

i'm going to cover myself in vomit and it will be the highlight of my day and make it onto the children's magazine highlights even though they probably shouldn't publish that because that could scar a kid, please don't publish it highlights
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tifa lockheart vs. geno smith

tifa has an unfair advantage because she uses guns to murder her opponents
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nathan drake vs. miles 'tails' edgeworth

i object
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master chief vs. goro

why the hell did bungie not give master chief four arms, what a missed fucking opportunity
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frog vs. monokuma

i don't know what a frog is, but a monokuma is a frog
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luigi vs. miles edgeworth

miles edgeworth is short for miles per edgeworth
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ren amamiya vs. joker

can a man truly fight himself, the answer is yes, i've done it and lost
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shulk vs. sub-zero

0
she hulk
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magus vs. vincent valen no he doesn't deserve a full name fuck that shit
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auron vs. lucina

lucina'nt you glad i didn't say auron'nt you glad i didn't say lucina'nt you glad i didn't say auron'nt you glad i didn't say lucina'nt you glad i didn't say auron'nt you glad i didn't say lucina'nt you glad i didn't say auron'nt you glad i didn't say lucina'nt you glad i didn't say auron'nt you glad i didn't say lucina'nt you glad i didn't say auron'nt you glad i didn't say lucina'nt you glad i didn't say auron'nt you glad i didn't say penis
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bayonetta vs. riku

is this over yet, can i be free from this miserable garbage, i lust for death and freedom and more death
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sans vs. pac-man

oh my god my brain is shutting down from how god damn worthless this is, and i can't blame it
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ryu hayabusa vs. simon belmont

more like a stake through the skull vs. a stake through the skull, and i want both
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geralt vs. rosalina

aren't you geralt i didn't say rosalingus
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waluigi vs. aeith gainsborough

i spell arf's name wrong and i can't be assed to correct it, i'm too empty inside to care
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shovel knight vs. captain toad

my brain on fire and i'm going to inject gasoline into my skull so i can burn my head down in style
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jill valentine vs. fox mccloud

you know these two fucked
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aloy vs. d. va

what is d short for, is it short dick, dick va, see ya dick va, sayonara dick va, i'm going to name my child dick va, just kidding i'm going to die alone like god intended
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zelda vs. ezio auditore da firenze

i wonder what it's like to be fisted
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metal sonic vs. the boss

these two characters are already in the bracket, why do they get to appear again, this is fucking bullshit i'm gonna sue
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garrus vakarian vs. ramza beoulve

get some fucking american names you damn communists
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squall leonhart vs. hat kid

i can't believe squall murdered a fucking kid
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kirby vs. guile

i almost used an estelle not-so-bright joke in that last write-up but i couldn't think of a good punchline

meanwhile this match is its own punchline
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estelle bright vs. isaac

i cannot fathom my own consciousness and that's a miracle imo
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ike vs. joel

i like how short it was to type their names, it gives me more time to ponder my worthlessness within the cosmos
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phoenix wright vs. chris redfield

i fucking hate this trend of giving characters last names, fucking stop it
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bowser vs. gordon freeman
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terra branflakes vs. charizard

it's a joke because this match makes me think of shit
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shadow vs. ness

we have failed as a society
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2b vs. cayde-6

one day i will choke to death on my own vomit and this will be my life's greatest accomplishment, my second greatest will be witnessing this match without choking to death on my own vomit
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kazuma kiryu vs. bomberman

is bomberman the most suicidal character, sure why not
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kefka vs. l-block

the first match to give me a boner
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yuna vs. godot

waiting for godot lol

just kidding i'm waiting for death
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alucard vs. princess peach

i think i skipped a match but i'm not going back, whatever i skipped deserved to be skipped, just like this match deserves to be skipped by the uncaring god who hates us and wants to watch us suffer through these boring matches
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big boss vs. ridley

why does this match exist, why do i exist, why the fuck do we deserve life when the best we can accomplish in a society is a popularity poll between big boss and ridley
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crash bandicoot vs. cecil harvey

this was a worse massacre than what the after years did to cecil's character
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neptune vs. pokemon trainer red

nevermind i'd choose this match instead
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sora vs. ryo hazuki

if i ever knocked up a woman and needed to convince her to get an abortion, this would be the match i show her to prove this world is not worth living in
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kratos vs. john marston

finally, two men who fuck
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