Lurker > Jeff_AKA_Snoopy

3 active posts, likely an alt.

I've had amazing support here on CE, so I shall continue to talk about my healing journey here ghost_hunters.

cjsdowg posted...

I am sorry you had to deal with that.

Eh, honestly a guy like that is pretty easy to deal with. At BEST he severely misunderstood the goals of the MAID program and what failsafes exist within it.

At worst, he actively wants people to suffer because that's more "human" than wanting to ensure people don't suffer? In which case dude is straight up nuts.

I think he was just a troll looking to provoke a response.

Thankfully the majority of people I have spoken to about this have been supportive of Lindsay's decision, or if not they've kept it to themselves. I'm definitely open to chatting with people about it, even if they don't understand or agree with it. Screaming and yelling about murder and suicide in regards to the decision my wife made is not really indicative of someone wanting to have a discussion.

I see that Atralis' trolling in regards to moral outrage to what my wife decided to do was moderated appropriately.

Thank you GameFAQS mods.

Atralis posted...

Its pathetic not to voice in opposition to this if you believe that it is wrong and I believe that suicide is wrong.

This is a guy getting support piled on for a practice that is not legal on nearly the entire planet because nearly the entire planet considers it to be killing the disabled. I'd be happy to be banned for opposing this being normalized.

I will say it again in 99% of the countries on earth a doctor killing a person because they have Elher Danlos would result in that doctor being convicted of MURDER.

No one has refuted that.

Again, it was comorbidities. EDS was just one part of the entire picture that doctors looked at and allowed her to utilize MAID. I notice you haven't said a thing about MCAS, which is also exceptionally debilitating and didn't allow her to take medications that would have otherwise helped some of her other conditions.

But you're not actually interested in having a discussion about the issue. You are here to point out your moral outrage at my wife using her autonomy to decide how she would lay down her burdens. You're morally outraged that someone would rather pass away in comfort rather than spending weeks or months in the hospital as one of their major organs rupture, or they can no longer eat, or any number of other ways she could have died given her co-morbities.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/4e92412a.jpg

Atralis posted...

It is legally murder for nearly all of us. It is glorifying suicide which is also against the TOS of this site and this board but we are all supposed to pretend its normal.

Mark it if you feel so strongly about it. I've been discussing the process and my healing journey here on the site for the last... well, over a year now. Most have been supportive of my journey and whatnot. But please, if you and your moral outrage has to be satisfied, mark the topic. Or create your own topic about how you feel. I won't even come in and barrage your topic with my own morality.

Atralis posted...

It is murder in 99% of the countries on the earth. Its legal in Canada.

I'm very proud that Canada is willing to be one of the countries leading the way when it comes to end of life care and allowing people with bodily autonomy to medically end their life. Countries around the world should do the same.

Atralis posted...

There are zero states where Ehler Danlos would be considered a reason to kill a person. In every single US state doing that would lead to a doctor being convicted of murder. I know you can't prove me wrong because like I said this isn't an edge case.

It was a combination of my wife's conditions that led to her being accepted for MAID. Here in Canada it isn't simply one condition that is looked at, but a combination of co-morbidities may be appropriate.

Also, her case of Ehlors Danlos was considered by one of the experts in Canada as one of the most debilitating examples of the condition he had ever seen, with no hope of treatment.

Atralis posted...

I mean seriously this is murder in all 50 states. Is it moddable to note that?

There are I believe at least 11 states that do have programs similar to MAID, so no it isn't murder in all 50 states. If you're going to be morally outraged about something, it's probably best to be educated in the thing that so outrages you.

cjsdowg posted...

Jeff are you getting the support you need. I know Gamefaqs can be a good place. It has helped me with some issues. But how about in person. Do you have what you need?

I'm really good. My family is here in the city with me and I spend a lot of time with them. We are heading to Mexico for a family trip on Tuesday. Work is supportive, I have friends in the city I hang out with and play games with and all that. It's all good my friend.

Atralis posted...

I am fundamentally morally opposed to you and her having done this I'm not going to lie. I'm not religious but I was raised Catholic and the idea of someone that young committing suicide makes me feel deeply uncomfortable regardless of the circumstances. Its a visceral reaction.

Noted. I'm morally opposed to telling someone they have to live in pain with no hope of improvement. I suppose we are at an impasse. I'm glad your moral outrage does not stop people from having their bodily autonomy. ^_^

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/9/9a72cbd3.jpg

This was us at my 10 year graduation reunion back in 2012. Happier times for sure, absolutely gorgeous. ^_^

I don't find her attractive but people can wear whatever the fuck they want.

So what about me? How am I doing about 7 months into my journey post-Lindsay?

I had a difficult January without realizing it really. December into January was a lot of anniversary dates you could say. It would have been our anniversary in December. My first Christmas and New Years without her, then it would have been her birthday in January. My bosses pulled me aside towards the latter half of January to make sure I was OK because I guess I was being a little distant, a little distracted, just not really present during meetings and whatnot. Without realizing it I was having a rough month. I did pull things together and I'm having a much better February. It helps I am going on a family vacation to Mexico starting on the 20th so that is great.

I've lost 35 pounds since my wife passed, in a healthy way. The energy that I put towards caregiving to my wife I put onto myself. I went from 335 pounds to 299, while putting on muscle. My physiotherapist is exceptionally happy with my progress and I am in the best physical shape of my life. I am very proud of this and the physical activity is excellent for my mental health.

Since January was a tough month I met with my therapist and he gave me a terrifying assignment. Something that I've noticed about how I survived being in the caregiver role for so long is that I internalized a lot of my own struggles with what was happening. I didn't voice my struggles, what frustrated me, what angered me. I didn't want to pile onto my partner how being in the role I was in was impacting me. How internalizing that manifested was extreme amounts of shame whenever I would feel a negative emotion about the situation. This is obviously not healthy and my therapist gave me a writing assignment. I had to write a letter TO Lindsay expressing only the negatives. I was not to be complimentary, do not caveat my feelings, do not hedge on them, do not rationalize (I also tended to rationalize a lot of things as a shield to my feelings. Instead of saying, "I was mad about ______" I would say, "Sure it was annoying but ________"), just pure frustration and anger.

It was incredibly frightening to do, I cried multiple times as I wrote it, did feel legitimate anger and frustration and whatnot. I then shared it on my previous topic which I think shocked some people, but it's part of the process. I need to be comfortable expressing those feelings and sharing them here with this community is my first step.

I also have been writing a "Grief Journal" since she passed. Just whenever I feel I have something to say, I write. I have about 30 single spaced pages so far and I share each entry in my journal here in this topic. It's been really healthy and a good thing for me to do and I will continue to do it.

All in all, for those continuing the journey with me, thanks. For those hopping in for the first time, welcome!

Welcome to my healing journey CE! Thanks for those who have been on the ride since before she passed away. These topics have been absolutely critical to my healing and it seems that others have joined in the healing, sharing their own grief stories, and working together to be better today than we were yesterday.

For those who have not yet dipped their toes into my journey, my wife passed away on July 17th, 2023. She passed away utilizing the MAID program in Canada (Medical Assistance in Death).

To make a very long medical journey short, she had multiple medical conditions that made her life just not something she wanted to continue living. It is important to note that she was already dying, and that death would have been cruel. I will discuss it here briefly to give some context.

Ehlors Danlos - A degenerative connective tissue syndrome which causes your joints, limbs, and organs to rip and tear. There is no cure nor really any sort of significant treatment options right now. Most people who have bad Ehlors Danlos eventually have a trip or fall that causes one of their major organs to rupture and thus pass away. There are degrees of how bad it can be. My wife's specialist in a prognosis update in July stated that my wife had one of the most debilitating experiences of Ehlors Danlos he had ever seen. My wife had a pacemaker installed in her early 20's due most likely to Ehlors Danlos. The only real treatment that exists is pain management, which was impossible due to...

Mast Cell Activation Syndrome - Mast Cells are what are responsible in your body for allergic reactions. Basically, my wife's Mast Cells were in constant overdrive. She would have allergic reactions to most things. We could not use laundry detergent, most types of soap, she could barely eat anything and eventually towards the end of her life was on an all-liquid diet. This also impacted her ability to use medication and her body could only tolerate Tylenol near the end of her life, which did basically nothing. She tried literally hundreds of different medications, almost all of which caused her allergic reactions.

Long Covid - What prompted us to even discuss MAID in the first place was when we both, in September of 2022, got COVID. I had to be off work for a week and during that week my wife sat me down and told me what her day to day life was like and that outside of the time we spent together, her life was misery. I recovered from COVID fairly well with no linger side-effects, my wife had weakness and breathing problems that stayed until she passed away.

She had a multitude of other things that came as a result of the medical problems. Lots of mental health tied into it, from a sexually and physically abusive upbringing to being gaslit by the medical field, from a mother struggling with bi-polar, being a rape survivor... just kinda had a rough go of it for most of her life. I met her right as her health started to seriously decline. She would apologize to me almost daily for me being "forced" to take care of her as these conditions materialized, worsened, and eventually made her life not something she wanted to continue.

In September of 2022 she let me know her intention to use the MAID program. She gave me an out then, and many days after that. She told me she understood if I didn't want to literally watch her die. I told her there was no way in hell she would ever do this alone and that the last thing she would ever see is the face of her loving husband as she got to say goodbye to her pain and suffering. It's hard to watch the person you love most in this world die. It's hard to watch her suffer. But spending time with her? Sharing in her world? It was as natural as breathing to me.

The journey wasn't easy. She was declined here in Saskatchewan where we live... a province we were ALWAYS gaslit in about her health. It was so much easier for doctors to just assume my wife was somatic and that her problems were mental health related. We had to go see a specialist in Alberta to get her Ehlors Danlos and Mast Cell Activation Syndrome properly diagnosed. Even then, doctors here would question those diagnoses and claim that they didn't believe her. We contacted Dying with Dignity who told us to reach out to a doctor in BC who helped CREATE the law.

She spoke with my wife over Zoom and in a 45 minute conversation with her and looking at her medical history, agreed that she could use MAID. We needed to find a second doctor who would do it... and due to some legal challenges (that won't go anywhere but are still annoying), none of her colleagues were willing to see her. She got a different Saskatchewan doctor to try to be the second assessor... and he demanded documentation from mental health experts on all the work she tried to do with them (mental health is not part of MAID yet, it is about physical maladies). Thankfully after hearing about that, the first assessor in BC FINALLY found someone willing to do it. She chatted with us for 25 minutes and said yes.

With this final approval on July 12th, my wife and I bought tickets to BC, flew out on the 16th, and on the 17th at 5:31pm, my wife... the strongest person I've ever known and one of the most beautiful souls to ever be, was finally allowed to put down her burdens. I took this picture about 5 minutes before she passed away. You can see how happy she was to be able to just rest.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a3329cad.jpg

Bleuets posted...

You ranked 10 that high?! Are you serious?!

10 is absolutely amazing.

WingsOfGood posted...

deep spoilers caution

manga spoilers

He is busing asking 10 year old girls to marry him

I mean, did he KNOW? None of us knew until it happened. >_>

We know a little bit of what he was doing while we follow Luffy and company, but I have to assume his story is just as interesting and getting to know Teach better and even frame it like he is the hero of his 50 episode run? I think it would be a lot of fun.

3 and 26!

Any I suggestions?

Dark_Arbron posted...

Half the time when people call Squall a bad character its because they dont actually understand him.

A good litmus test is to ask the following question: did his character development in late disc 2 onward come out of nowhere?

He dramatically changed his actions. I don't think it was entirely unwarranted but it was extreme.

Alright let's do this, single player rankings!

9 > 6 > Tactics > 10 >= 7 > 16 > = 4 > 5 > 8 > 12 > 1 > 3 > 15 > 13 > 2

The narrative was actually really good until they got into time travel shenanigans. If uhh... Adel? Was that her name?

If the Sorceress they tossed into space would have been the final boss I think it would have been way better.

The game is broken by either carding everything or Meltdown>Aura>Renzokuken/Duel.

ClayGuida posted...

When he drops the belt, and if he stays a part timer, he no longer has any relevancy.

He just becomes the next Brock. Since Brock won't be back.

ClayGuida posted...

Problem with that, is that's Roman's entire character and persona, and here you have a guy who's been champion for nearly 4 straight years now, and your goal is to 'take everything away from him', but then what? He's not just gonna retire. This isn't a Lesnar situation, where he comes in, earns a paycheck and leaves.

What's your goal with Roman after he drops the title? Is he gonna want revenge? Okay, that's a 3 month feud or something, maybe a Summerslam rematch, but then what? Is he gonna start feuding with Judgement Day or something?

They've booked themselves into a corner, because you don't spend a decade pushing someone to the moon and then just stop all of a sudden.

You can do 6 months worth of work, if not more.

Roman loses the belt at WM, with Rock turning on the Bloodline. Have Rock leave to film a movie or something, making fun of Roman. Say something like, "You are the head of the table only because I own the entire building, the land, and lead the Bloodline beyond your understaning!" He works to get it back at Summerslam, loses outright. He blames Rock for losing it at WM in the first place. Meanwhile the Bloodline starts to break apart and you have Roman vs Jimmy vs. Solo at Survivor Series for "leadership of the Bloodline"

At that match I would have Roman just absolutely destroying Solo and Jimmy like physically. Like 20 chair shots to the back for each Jimmy and Solo. Just as Roman is about to stack them for the pin, Jey Uso comes in, beats up Roman, and stacks both Jimmy and Solo on top of Roman and all three "pin" Roman.

Have it end in a no contest or whatever, who cares. The Bloodline crumbles as Jimmy and Solo leave the Bloodline like how Jey did. Roman freaks out and tries to claim that none of them would be anything without him and they are bound by the family to work for him. He claims that the elders are going to force them to work for him and come back... and the first thing they have to do is help him win the Royal Rumble. He hands them each a letter from "The Family" and they are all annoyed but seem to be forced to help Roman win the Royal Rumble.

At the RR, Solo, Jimmy, and Jey are all in early. Let's say 2, 5, and 8. They work together begrudgingly as they are bound by the family to help Roman. At let's say 15, Roman comes in. The Bloodline clears out all the other competitors and then just sit in the 4 corners. Roman laughs and gestures for number 16 to come in.

"IF YOU SMELL!!!!!! WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN!!!!" The Rock enters right after Roman. Roman is freaking out, the first time he's been able to be in the ring with Rock since he fucked up everything for him. Roman commands The Bloodline to surround Rock. Rock gets ready to take them all on when he looks at Jimmy, Jey, and Solo and tells them to "Do It".

All three turn on Roman and beat him up, and all three of them lift up Roman and toss him out of the Ring. Rock then steps over the top rope and eliminates himself, going over to Paul Heyman and handing him a letter to give to "Roman Reigns, the would-be Tribal Chief"

This leads into Rock vs Roman for WM41. Rock claiming that Roman forgot that a Chief looks after the family, not using them for his own gain.

Got any fun plans for the rest of the weekend? Or just chilling.

Cody - I'm going to take EVERYTHING from you!

... what if he and Rock worked it out so that Rock would join and then destroy the Bloodline, thus Cody took EVERYTHING from Roman. His title, his Bloodline, his legacy?!?

It's only cheating if it's a competitive game and you're getting an unfair advantage against others

Bay Leaves

I am apparently VERY much in the wrong here so far.

What is their flavor? Like I just had some homemade soup where I put in a bay leaf because it told me to. I couldn't tell you what that flavor is.

But she only cums when she's on-top!

2 and 24!

XLT

I need a tall as I have a very lengthy torso.

"I survived the holocaust. It was horrifying, absolutely the most terrible thing to happen to me and all my people.

Better do it to all of humanity"

As someone who had their wife of 11 years choose to end their life medically due to their deteriorating physical health, majin_nemesis is so terrified at the idea of someone close to him dying that he refuses to acknowledge a situation in which someone would choose to die over enduring for their sake.

I get it. My wife's decision was the most selfish decision one can make. I can caveat it, I can logic it, I can rationalize all I want. At the end of the day she made the most selfish decision one can make.

I took her to Vancouver to make that selfish decision. I supported her in getting to that point. I will take the anger, the rage, the sadness of that decision with me the rest of my life. It sucks and it's been 7 months and I'm still processing and going to therapy and counseling.

But if you can't be selfish with how your life ends... with deciding not to live in abject misery and despair and pain with no hope of recovery, when can you be? I'm sad that I couldn't provide enough happiness for my wife to live through the misery to the natural conclusion of her life. But ultimately that is on her and she has the right to make that decision.

Simply killing yourself because you're "old" doesn't make sense to me.

Doesn't make sense TO YOU. I think you said it before but you're opinion on the matter shouldn't supercede the autonomy of other human beings.

1 and 24, wow.

The dude is also kinda broke so he will take whatever pays.

Orange for me. Orange on white, but Orange on black is good too.

So they are pulling a Sony and pushing older exclusive titles onto other systems.

Makes sense.

My immediate team is 2 female coordinators above me, 4 female supervisors on my team, and most of my immediate staff are women.

Honestly, it's not much different than working with men. I jokingly apologize for my gender now and then because they will complain about relationships and the stupid shit their partners do, but overall it's not different at all.

Bears are my favorite animals in the whole wide world.

Look at that cute fuzzy fucker just fucking up the very trap designed to... well trap it.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


You are not wrong. Sonic mixed with some Commander Keen.

Wow, 1 to 18 for played to not played. Yikes.