Lurker > Snake5555555555

17. Cronos

Karo - 8
KBM - 12
Scarlet - 13
Snake - 13
Charon - 16
Johnbobb - 20
Genny - 21
JONA - 28
Inviso - 32

Karo - An elderly antique dealer comes into the possession of an ancient device that can grant eternal life and somehow still has a live insect inside it which makes no sense but we just kind of have to accept it. The old geezer uses the device to make himself feel good, but it also gives him an unnatural appetite for a certain red liquid. It is an interesting take on vampire mythos and also possibly a metaphor for drug addiction if you really take a close look at it. Guillermo del Toro shows his directing skills to craft a story that never gets boring, the one big problem is that the character of Angel seems incredibly out of place in the film. He is a silly foul-mouthed lunatic who is like some cast off of a bad Adam Sandler movie, and it really hurts the serious nature they are going for.

KBM - Guillermo del Toro showing off that he had serious filmmaking chops as early as his very first feature. The acting is great across the board Federico Luppi carries the movie wonderfully in the lead role, his granddaughter does a great job in a mostly-silent role (especially for such a young actress), Claudio Brook is nice and threatening as the antagonist, and Ron Perlman provides some well-timed moments of levity as the bumbling American henchman/nephew to the villain. The script is also quite smart, effectively creating a nice allegory for addiction in its vampire lore without bogging things down by over-explaining anything. Well-paced and beautifully filmed, this debut definitely displays the promise of what's been a brilliant career for del Toro, and just taken on its own, is a unique, stylish, and underrated entry in the horror canon.

Scarlet - If you like Del Toro, youll certainly enjoy this freshman outing from a young Guillermo. But its so hampered by the roughness of a fledgling director. The script certainly lacks the polished quality of a seasoned veteran, and it really plays like the worlds best student film. Thats not to say its bad, but that there are very clear weaknesses to the presentation. The attempts to subvert the conventions of storytelling seem a little too much for this young, unproven Del Toro to handle at this point. But filmmaking is about practice, and this is an example of getting those reps in.
Rating: 53/100
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
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Resident Evil
Big Lebowski
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

I didn't care for S2 that much but I thought from the trailer S3 looks really great.
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Punnyz posted...

Snake5555555555 posted...

Okay

I remember when I was giving some games away, I put SNAKE55555555555 as your name on the package

and the whore bitch mail slut was like I KNOW YOU BUT I"M NOT GIVING THIS TO YOU

IIRC it was FFXII so it was probably for the better

Yup I'll never forget this! Well good thing I already had FF12 at least.
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Okay
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Venom
Metamorpho
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Entity
ABH
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

yup
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Bayonetta
Booker DeWitt (Bioshock Infinite)
Cloud Strife
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Eddie van Blundht
The Thing
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Outlier

Genny - 221
Inviso - 199
Charon - 190
KBM - 161
Johnbobb - 160
Karo - 132
Scarlet - 115
JONA - 110
Snake - 85

Genny takes a huge leap now into the 200s.
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Inviso - This movie was just weird, wacky fun. It was like Men in Black meets Ghostbusters, but not in the R.I.P.D. way. Michael J. Fox is good at playing a slightly-quirky slightly-antihero kind of character, and it shows. I appreciate the fact that this film takes a hard turn really quickly. Were introduced to Foxs character as a psychic conman (who ironically is using genuine psychic powers to con people), and yeah, he pulls a couple cons with his ghost buddies early on, but after hes introduced to the movies female lead, the film takes a DARK fucking turn, and I LOVE it. Suddenly, crazy-ass Jake Busey is back as a ghost, continuing his serial killing spree, and hes killing people to conveniently paint Fox as a serial killer.

Things go off the rails at that point, as the movie just gets goofy. Ghosts fight the grim reaper, some caricature characters show up as murder fodder, and then were introduced to the batshit crazy FBI agent, whose malfunction is never quite explained. All of this is great, but it gets even better when the movie pulls a reverse twist (that is, the ending is so obvious that you go into it expecting a twist or subversion, making it a twist in and of itself). The chaos of the endgame is great. Really, the only drawback is just how threadbare the plot is. Nothing is explained all that well, and there arent a lot of quality character arc conclusions. So yeah, fun movie, but fun is all really.

Charon - This goofy film probably wasn't the sendoff from film lead that Fox deserved, but his charms are still present and carry the movie to at least some level of respectability. The story is mostly carried by Fox, whom I always find it hard to hate in anything he does. He's good here as a sneaky conartist, but one that's actually honest in a way too. It has a very Ghostbusters feel to it in the delivery, and despite some dark things happening the world never feels terribly threatening even with the "reaper" on the loose. The character of Dammers was interesting and reminded me of a sort of evil Monk impersonation, if you can impersonate a character that was yet to exist I guess. It's decent, watchable and all.

KBM - A decent but ultimately somewhat forgettable film from Peter Jackson's pre-Lord of the Rings days, The Frighteners is a workmanlike, goofy movie that gets bogged down by its overlong runtime, hit-or-miss gags, and ghost effects that are among Jackson's more dated work. As a swan song for Michael J. Fox's movie career, it definitely leaves something to be desired, though he still manages to inject some of his trademark charisma into the proceedings, and the movie does get some mileage out of its talented supporting cast (particularly the ever-entertaining Jeffrey Combs).

Johnbobb - I can't tell what kind of audience this is designed for. It's like a horror comedy, but the comedy is weirdly juvenile and slapstick for how dark the movie is. There are a lot of interesting concepts here, and surprisingly decent effects for the time, AND I want to give it a small bonus for having Michael J. Fox, who is just always fun to watch. But even then, the movie's not great, and is ultimately made worse by the drastically inconsistent tone.

Genny - I love Michael J. Fox, but not enough to worship the ground he walks on and films like The Frighteners serve as records that no one has a flawless filmography. Between the cheesy effects, acting and dialogue I was certain my lactose intolerance would end me by its conclusion. 4.5/10
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

18. The Frighteners

JONA - 5
Scarlet - 12
Snake - 14
Karo - 15
Inviso - 19
Charon - 25
KBM - 27
Johnbobb - 29
Genny - 36

JONA - This was a movie I never heard of before the project but Im really glad I watched it. Michael J Fox puts on a great performance here and his character has good chemistry with Lucy. Frank is a really engaging character and I enjoyed his character development and sad backstory. I really felt for the guy after he just shuts down and doesnt want to talk to anybody. The scene where he reaches heaven is very strong and his happy ending feels well-deserved. All the different ghosts and the FBI agent are entertaining, even if not all the jokes hit. The Grim Reapers murder mystery is also engaging to follow and does provide its good share of spooks. This movie invoked sadness, laughter and some scares and everything just worked well together for me, as someone who likes a good variety. This movie might be higher if this wasnt such a late writeup.

Scarlet - Enjoyable but also forgettable. MJF is a charmer but most of this movie is just mild: mildly scary, mildly amusing. Likely Jacksons direction only improves the sum of the ingredients. Its like the movie equivalent of Taco Bell sauce. Its a welcome bit of flavor but ultimately its trying to disguise a fairly bland product.
Rating: 53/100

Snake - Why I Chose It - Peter Jackson's 2nd horror romp of the 90s, The Frighteners was a darling for Universal Pictures and was positioned as their summer blockbuster before ultimately becoming a flop. The film was notable at the time for its numerous digital effect shots, one of the most of any film at the time. It's also Michael J. Fox's last starring role in a feature film.

My Thoughts - This movie is such a joy to watch. It's a little goofy but overall I think it's the funniest horror comedy on the list. Michael J. Fox is incredible with great comedic chops per usual and the effects I think have surprisingly aged well in a charming sense. Despite the film's general light-hearted overtones, Jackson still does not forgot to bring the suspense with fluid camera work. The Grim Reaper is an intimidating antagonist as well. The graveyard scene also has tons of joyfully macabre imagery. All in all, a film I love watching over and over again! It never gets old for me.

Karo - There's this fraudulent exorcist who tells his undead friends to go haunt houses so he can have work despookifying their homes. Yeah that's right, he has the legit ability to speak with the spirits of the dead and the most profitable thing he can think of to do with this is be a con man. Anyway, he ends up crossing paths with a homicidal spirit thanks to his gift and seeks to protect the town via astral projection and bad special effects. It is somewhat funny, though it goes on for way too long and often feels like a cut-rate Ghostbusters that doesnt really bring much of worth to the table.
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Carnage
Freddy Krueger
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

The first that comes to mind is the ending of Blue Jasmine.
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Inviso - Fun fact: my voice remote immediately loaded up the 2017 remake of this film, which apparently has a FOUR PERCENT from Rotten Tomatoes. I had to actively go searching to find this on Netflix, as a result. Andeh, it really wasnt worth it. At the risk of making a pun, this movie was extremely flat. Nothing felt like it had any stakes. Four characters kill themselves and get revived, and yet no one ACTUALLY dies during the movie, outside of a little kid in a flashback. Thats kind of the problem. It would be one thing if like, these people cheated death and started having real, negative consequences in the form of demonic punishment or something. But lets recap.

Joe sees visions of all the women hes video taped having sex, leading to a guilt trip that ultimately gets him caught by his fianc. Okay, fine. Kinda lame that his story pretty much ends with the break up, but whatever. Julia Roberts freaks out about seeing her dead dadbut all she ultimately needs to do is hug him and have him apologize to HER, and everything is all better. Kevin Bacon sees a little girl insulting him, so he goes and apologizes to her when shes all grown up, and again, everything is fine. Really, the only person who actually SUFFERS as a result of all this is Nelson, who killed a kid when he was younger. And yet even he flatlines himself to the brink of death, and atones by apologizing to the kid he killedand so everyone lives happily ever after. I dont knowit just felt like forcing creepy situations that didnt deserve it, and the ending felt unearned. It wasnt great, unfortunately.
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Johnbobb - I definitely enjoyed this. After I was done watching, it was hard to put my feelings into words, and I think that's ultimately because as much as I liked this, I wanted more. The performances are all solid (Kevin Bacon in particular is always great) and the concept and execution were both fascinating. The ideas it presented were interesting and it definitely twisted my expectations from typical psychological horror. However, it didn't really go far enough for my taste. It sort of danced around deeper and more complex themes without ultimately saying much by the end, which is a shame, because with a little more complexity it could've been great.

Karo - A group of med students obsessed with the afterlife take turns killing each other in order to force a 'near-death experience' because science. In this experiment they induce a state of clinical death on one of them, panic profusely as attempts to revive them seem ineffective, then they wake up just when all hope seems lost. Then one of the others goes 'oh golly gee, it's my turn next!' and we start all over again. You goddamn lunatics are you fucking insane? Normal people do not treat cardiac arrest as a game or hold bidding wars as to who can stay dead the longest. The lone female character in the group is subjected to incredibly sexist behavior from the male leads, who only acknowledge her existence in order to white knight for her, ask her out, try to get her in bed, or to crack jokes with each other about about the previous points. What was an intriguing concept ends up running off the rails with silly phantom children, inconclusive and confusing 'death' sequences, and lack of any real exploration of the subject matter.

KBM - A wonderful concept somewhat marred by dodgy execution, courtesy of everyone's favorite hack director Joel Schumacher. There's something viscerally exciting about watching these students argue about who will dare to go under for how long, and for awhile I get quite into this movie. The characters are interesting, likable, and well-acted (with the exception of William Baldwin's Joe his acting is fine but wow is the character insufferable). The problem is that the afterlife sequences get a bit repetitive as they aren't as creative as they could have been, and the movie loses some of the potency it could have had thanks to its unwillingness to actually kill off any of its main characters. At the very least, I feel like Kiefer should have died at the end, but the movie chickens out and gives us a Hollywood ending that flies in the face of what came before it. Still, it's an entirely watchable flick, with some engaging character arcs and moments of genuine visual flair from Schumacher.
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

19. Flatliners

Genny - 9
Snake - 16
Charon - 17
Scarlet - 21
JONA - 22
Johnbobb - 23
Karo - 23
KBM - 24
Inviso - 29

Genny - Is there life after death? Is it heavenly and beautiful or hellish and hideous? Flatliners seeks to answer these questions or serves as a warning that some questions are best left not asked. Keifer Sutherland's character here is almost as unenjoyable as the doctor from Dark City, but I can sympathize with most of the supporting cast. We all make mistakes in our youth when we're dumb and reckless. And Joe... well he pays heavily for his transgressions. I wish David and Nelson's pasts didn't both involve bullying a peer because it makes it a little harder to sympathize with either one, but it is what it is I guess. Flatliners was a pleasant surprise 8.2/10

Snake - Why I Chose It - Though he may not be the first name to come to mind when it comes to horror, Joel Schumacher has plenty of experience with the genre (The Lost Boys, Phantom of the Opera, Blood Creek), making films that may be flawed but always his own. However, I mainly chose Flatliners for its unique concept and approach to horror, as well as its strong casting. Flatliners also received a remake in 2017.

My Thoughts - A thoughtful film, if a little hard to swallow at times. The cast is all excellent and characters feel properly human and three-dimensional, with flawed problems and histories that make them interesting to follow, and they're not always easy to sympathize with either. The hallucinations presented in the film are where most of the horror comes from, and though I never found them particularly scary, the way they affected the characters always kept me hooked and engaged with the film's story. It's interesting how a film dealing with the afterlife has no deaths for any of the main characters. Flatliners prefers to use its concept instead to help these characters grow and escape the shadow of their pasts, proving that not every horror movie needs death to make it interesting.

Charon - An interesting premise and tons of unsettling dream sequences, Flatliners employs an all-star cast to tackle the mystery of life after death. The near-death experience is definitely interesting; without having one yourself it's hard to really believe in, as the movie itself touches on. Those that have had them tell of various different things, but the recurrent theme seems to be "life flashes before your eyes". In this film's case, it takes a dark twist on that and shows you perhaps your life's biggest regret or fear. It's expertly handled honestly, and I probably unranked this film a bit given how much I did enjoy it. A film that's as disturbing as this one gets away having no deaths at all somehow, but it still manages to be an effective thriller where you're never sure if the characters will come back from the beyond this time.

Scarlet - In an attempt to create a 90s version of the Brat Pack, a surprisingly loaded cast is handed a unique but poorly constructed script that takes a gimmick and really does its best to confound it with poor writing. Can the Tess Ocean, Oliver Babish, Jack Bauer and the Hollow Man salvage this beef stew of a film? Nope. And this failed Brat Pack reboot would slink into obscurity.
Rating: 40/100

JONA - Its intriguing to see what the characters see in their time between life and death and how most of them have to deal with the sins of their past and theres some spooky imagery that comes with them. Kinda weird how Julia Roberts character had to deal with something that wasnt her fault though. It can be boring at times, especially how much time feels wasted in between the characters flatlining. The execution of the movie can be clumsy, but the concept and imagery of the movie is enough for me to like it.
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

1. ?
2. ?
3. ?
4. ?
5. ?
6. ?
7. ?
8. ?
9. ?
10. ?
11. ?
12. ?
13. ?
14. ?
15. ?
16. ?
17. Fire in the Sky
18. Event Horizon
19. Dead Alive
20. Mimic
21. ?
22. ?
23. Nightbreed
24. Cemetery Man
25. Tremors
26. Army of Darkness
27. The Blair Witch Project
28. Bram Stokers Dracula
29. Deep Blue Sea
30. Childs Play 2
31. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
32. Urban Legend
33. ?
34. Species
35. Wishmaster
36. Anaconda
37. Arachnophobia
38. I Know What You Did Last Summer
39. Leprechaun
40. Demonic Toys
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Terminator
RLM
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Finn Balor
Metamorpho
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Venom
Dante
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Entity
ABH
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Eddie van Blundht
The Thing
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Outlier

Genny - 193
Inviso - 188
Charon - 181
KBM - 147
Johnbobb - 145
Karo - 125
Scarlet - 107
JONA - 94
Snake - 78

Genny and Vis switch spots yet again, but it's close.
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Doom (1993)
Night in the Woods
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Snake - Why I Chose It - The final film in the Evil Dead trilogy, Army of Darkness is arguably the most recognizable film in the series, featuring Ash's most iconic quotes, as well as spinning off a whole sub-franchise of comics that crossed over with the likes of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Dracula, and even Marvel Zombies.

My Thoughts - When it comes to the Evil Dead franchise, I have a love-hate relationship with it. It tries a balancing act between the serious and the absurd, and I don't think it always works that well. Evil Dead 2 did it best, fixing the mistakes of the first film with comedic overtones and giving the series more of an identity to itself. Army of Darkness too often loses me with a mess of tones and plot details and events, the only constant ever being Campbell's great central performance.

Johnbobb - So, I GET what they were going for here. But it wasn't my thing. In fact, I've been putting off watching this and the Evil Deads specifically because I felt like they weren't going to be my thing. In general I like Sam Raimi, and after seeing Drag Me To Hell and bits and pieces of the Evil Dead movies, I've had a general grasp of his style. It's kind of hit or miss, with Army of Darkness landing on the far side of "miss." The movie is mostly bad special effects and cheesy lines and goofy sound effects. Sometimes I can really dig this campy style, but honestly I just wasn't feeling it.

Charon - The longest, most horror filled Three Stooges episode of all time. As the film that "made" Evil Dead what is game to be, I feel very... unhappy with it. A lot of body humor and stupidity abound here. It's like, why are these guys just not killing Ash instead of playing games with him? It gets old pretty fast once you realize that's about all this movie has happen. The bad guys all run up, pull down his pants and stick their thumb in his ass and then he shoots them dead. It's not a fun time. I will say I appreciate Bruce Campbell making this character his own, I guess, but at the same time it's not really a character I can find much joy in. Every once in a while someone will say something funny, but it's mostly misses instead of hits for me.

Genny - I'm sure I'll get flak for this, but the Evil Dead series is just not my brand of humor. Army of Darkness to me was not even laughably bad, which is a major offense for a horror comedy. 4.4/10
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

20. Army of Darkness

Scarlet - 8
Inviso - 10
Karo - 10
JONA - 13
KBM - 14
Snake - 26
Johnbobb - 35
Charon - 37
Genny - 38

Scarlet - A great tribute to the Harryhausen movies of yore, Army of Darkness is one step removed from the Evil Dead films that came before it, relying on the undeniable charisma of Bruce Campbell to transport the fans from beginning to end. As a ride, its goofy, its messy, its maybe even downright bad at times, but its entertaining more often than its not. That comes from a script that takes nothing seriously except the charm of Bruce Campbell. Extremely quotable, and endlessly engaging, this movie is close to being an extended piece of dark sketch comedy, almost completely forsaking the horror roots of the first two installments of the Evil Dead franchise in favor of fun, occasionally mindless, entertainment.
Rating: 69/100

Inviso - This is a great B-movie. Bruce Campbells Ash is an amazing protagonist, because he has that perfect amount of I dont give a fuck about ANY of this shit that helps to really sell the absurdity of the situation hes in. Its a lot like Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live. When you have a badass action hero who couldnt possibly care less about the plot, it frees them up to do hilariously stupid shit, and say awesome one-liners. Now, is Army of Darkness the cleverest movie? Nodefinitely not. But its right up my alley. You know from prior rankings that I can enjoy a good, cheesy movie. And this is cheesy as hell. Its just fun to throw an I dont give a fuck modern guy into a scenario where hes forced to survive life in medieval times, while simultaneously bringing a chainsaw, a shotgun, and a car, all into play with the backwater peasants. Oh, and the ending is a perfect mix of awesome and cheesy to cap off the film. Very very fun.

Karo - Some dumbass who fucks around with the Necronomicon gets sent back in time to one of the little-known feudal kingdoms that existed in medieval southern california. These knights send Ash on a quest for the Necronomicon again for reasons and the movie goes completely off the deep end and turns into Looney Tunes as mini-Ashes subject our one-handed protagonist to less-than-funny slapstick violence. It is a film that requires a certain mindset to enjoy, lest the more quirky or strange elements get dismissed as utter stupidity. Nevertheless, it lacks the finesse and semi-grounding in reality that similar comedic movies such as Pirates of the Caribbean have, and thus keeps it from reaching its full potential, as does a hero that spends way too much time crossing the line between lovable asshole and regular asshole.

JONA - I dig the Middle Ages setting and seeing Ash interact with people of that time. Its a goofy movie with goofy action and comedy but also a lot of fun.

KBM - My personal favorite of the Evil Dead series, and one of my favorite Sam Raimi movies in general, Army of Darkness is the one that really takes the time to revel in the campiness of its setting and premise. I love its use of the Dark Ages setting, its wild, scattershot sense of humor, and its unbridled creativity. I love how different it is from the rest of the series, thereby not feeling beholden to the rules of the rest of the movies and feeling like a freer, more surrealist and experimental product. Though there are a couple of comedy scenes that can get a bit overly-silly (for instance, the sequence with dozens of tiny Bruce Campbell's climbing out of a broken mirror), on the whole this ends up being one of the freshest, most original living-dead flicks that I can name.
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Carnage
Freddy Krueger
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Janis to Cady after the party (Mean Girls)
V to the British Population (V for Vendetta)
Konrad to Walker (Spec Ops: The Line)
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

Inviso - This film is extremely weird, and honestly, it was also rather hard to follow. It feels like it was trying to be a horror-comedy, but lacks the pacing and delivery to really be funny. A third of the movie is slow and revolves around less-than-amusing sequences of zombies and interpersonal melodrama. Then the middle third of the movie starts to go over-the-top with the zombies, and various love interests also becoming zombies in their own right, with wacky results. And then theres a sharp twist as the main character decides to become a serial killer, and just starts indiscriminately murdering people. This is weird, but the movies tone is still too bleak and grim to match the inherent quirkiness its trying to push. I just dont know what to think about this filmit seemed like it didnt know what it was trying to accomplish, and that made it a bit of a slog to watch.

Genny - I will admit Cemetery Man had its moments of genius, but they were few and far between. The rest of this was a slog to sit through, and while the very ending was out of left field, every plot beat in this overlong spectacle prior to that was beginning to become completely predictable. 4.5/10

Charon - Quite possibly the least funny film I've ever seen; there's no resurrecting comedy since it never existed here. Dull, uneventful, repetitive, and definitely not scary, this film is really strange to me. I can't figure out what they were going for here. Is this a horror comedy? If so, I guess I just don't appreciate the humor used here. I never laughed once, or even smiled I think. The general plot seems full of holes as some zombies in this film are just the mindless, brain searching meatbags everyone expects but then others seem to have personalities. Some can even speak and seem completely uninterested in killing the living. There's plenty that's unsettling, in all the wrong ways. Like the mentally handicapped assistant the main character has lusting after what's explained to be "a child" by his boss. They go on to have a strange romance where this disembodied head actually seems to fall in love with the guy, before mysteriously flying to attack her father. This was probably the highlight, or lowlight, of the film. There's no rhyme or reason to why anything in this story happens, and wondering if Dellamorte will end up with the dinner plate areolas and how many times he'll kill her is not interesting. Complete and utter drivel. Gna.
---

Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif

21. Cemetery Man

Johnbobb - 5
Scarlet - 9
JONA - 15
KBM - 15
Karo - 22
Snake - 24
Inviso - 33
Genny - 37
Charon - 40

Johnbobb - This was like Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation levels of me not knowing what the fuck is happening but unlike Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation I'm glad I watched it

Scarlet - I came into this film with no expectations and walked away very surprised. The tone and language and presentation of the film were just so unique and really flavorful. Very offbeat from the standard zombie fare, the argument could almost be made that its an artful take on the undead. And, look, lets all be very honest: Rupert Everett was one of the most overlooked actors of the 90s. The guy can churn out a performance. Ive never understood how he didnt land more leading roles.
Rating: 62/100

JONA - The strangeness and humor really make this movie charming. Francescos a strong main character and I found the running gag of him never being a suspect funny. I thought the scenes where he was losing in touch with reality was great. However, I never really liked the scenes with Gnaghi. The ending where Gnaghi could properly speak was weird but I enjoyed that. Just an odd, enjoyable film.

KBM - Now this is a delightful piece of nonsense. I'll be damned if I can even really tell you what this movie is about (the Weird Fucking Italian Horror subgenre being what it is), but the actual plot of the movie takes a backseat to just how funny and absurd everything is. Rupert Everett is fantastic in his off-kilter role as the eponymous cemetery man (AKA Signore Dellamorte, as referenced in the much better, but too-difficult-to-translate, original title: Dellamorte Dellamore). I found myself enjoying the hell out of this movie's unique, surrealist take on zombie horror, set in a universe where people seem more interested in fucking zombies than other living human beings. Bouncing back and forth from psychological character drama, to dark comedy involving the mayor and his daughter, who comes back as a hilariously mobile disembodied head, to Italian gore-fest material, to even a couple of pretty beautifully-shot sex scenes, this movie manages to tie all of these disparate tonal leaps together into an entirely contiguous, if not exactly coherent, whole.

Karo - So this guy works at a graveyard where all the bodies keep coming back to life and these clones of this girl keep wanting to fuck the gravekeeper who might be a serial killer and his morbidly obese r***** sidekick has a love affair with the undead decapitated head of a child. Then the movie gets REALLY weird. The film's dark humor is hit-or-miss but when it is at is best it is the strongest part of the movie, and it really should have gone more in that direction with less melodramatic monologing from the protagonist. What remains is a series of incoherent plot elements strung together into an equally confusing whole that doesnt resolve or explain anything, and has a hard time validating its own existence.

Snake - Why I Chose It - Loosely based on the Dylan Dog comic series (the best selling comic in Italy), Cemetery Man is one of the most prominent and well-regarded Italian horror films of all time, gaining a large cult following over the years.

My Thoughts - Cemetery Man is an insane movie that is a compelling, if occasionally non-sensical, descent into madness. Rupert Everett is great in the lead role, and really makes this as enjoyable to watch as it is. The cinematography and visuals are gorgeous too, but some rather strange narrative choices and bad characters drag this movie down a little bit for me.
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
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Avengers
Zoolander
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
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Outlier

Inviso - 166
Genny - 159
Charon - 145
KBM - 135
Karo - 114
Johnbobb - 114
Scarlet - 83
JONA - 81
Snake - 69

Vis claims the top spot yet again.
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
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Charon - This strange tale about a man's journey to escape his overprotective mother is an interesting twist on the genre, and will make even the stauchest critics of horror comedy chuckle often. I personally am one of those people, and I'm sure that's no real secret to anyone. This film was definitely something, and I expected to not enjoy it at all but surprisingly enough it's quite good for what it is. The cast is mostly good; many of the zombies don't get lost in the background, and I especially loved Father McGruder, the Lord's asskicker. The gore here is at times pretty high, but it really is tempered quite a bit by all the comedy at play here. It treats gore in a much different way than some of the other films on the list that employ it, and it has my respect for making me see that not every horror comedy is bad.

Genny - Dead Alive and Cemetery Man have a lot of the same "charm", but where one fails the other succeeds in its comedic efforts. "I kick ass for the Lord" might be my favorite line in this project. Is it delivered better than "I see dead people" or "What's in the box"? No. Is it acted as professionally as "Do you still hear the screaming of the lambs"? Definitely not. Is it more iconic than all these and more? Naw, but dammit there's so much charisma in it and that's indicative of the movie as a whole. I eventually even overlooked the gross out action and learned to enjoy it. 7/10

Scarlet - Two things. First of all, I watched a show called Braindead a couple of years ago. This was not related to that show. That was a big strike against. Second of all, Wickle should not watch this movie. This is functionally, Yo dawg, so I herd you liek gore so I put some gore in your gore. I really do have a line when it comes to gore itself, and while I could see how this movie might be amusing to some really sick sons of bitches who probably have no conception of decorum and show up to black tie dinner events and talk about how they saw a truck disembowel a deer on a highway on the way to the social function, I myself believe that if a movie makes you feel like not eating, its doing a bad job. Theaters need to sell concessions, not clean them up from the floor when they are regurgitated. Blergh. Ew. Gross.
Rating: 21/100

Johnbobb - God that fucking custard scene almost made me puke. I mean, I'm fine with gore and horror, and I'm fine with gore used for comedic purposes. The gross wackiness kind of reminded me of Drag Me to Hell, which I loved. But this is just... that's all it is. It seems like it's just taking ridiculous gore effects, pointing at them, and saying "HAHA look how gross that is!" And sure, they're gross, but I've seen enough over-the-top horror at this point that goofy, gross-out effects just don't do it for me without there being more of a draw beyond that. And if the movie itself wasn't gross enough, the music is just real unappealing. Like distractingly bad daytime soap music.

Karo - A young man's mother gets turned into the undead by a monkey bite and he ends up with an ever increasing collection of pet zombies and everything turns gross and stupid like zombies having sex to make zombie babies and scores of meaningless disembowelments of human and undead alike. The film is a thoroughly unpleasant experience filled with nonsensical plot turns and insensitive ethnic stereotyping, and it is rife with feeble attempts at humor that only serve to turn the stomach and it some cases rip it out entirely. The story gets ever more idiotic the longer it goes on, and pretty much just gives up by a certain point. But hey, as long as we spray enough fake blood around to fill an olympic sized swimming pool we don't need anything else, right? I couldn't think of a more apt title, because braindead is exactly what this movie is.
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
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22. Braindead/Dead Alive

KBM - 6
JONA - 7
Inviso - 15
Snake - 19
Charon - 21
Genny - 25
Scarlet - 33
Johnbobb - 37
Karo - 39

KBM - The pinnacle of the splatter horror gore-fest subgenre, this movie is just a blast to watch. I don't know if I've ever seen a filmmaker have so much fun just going as over-the-top as humanly possible with gore effects as Peter Jackson does here, and it's a testament of what a talented filmmaker he is that even the gross-out elements of the movie work because of the tongue-in-cheek sense of humor at work here. It's a masterpiece of intentionally tasteless horror-comedy, and one that really, really works for me. Such great bloody fucking mayhem that even the Evil Dead series can't match.

JONA - The movie is pretty funny with how spineless Lionel could be and the constant hiding of anything being wrong. The relationship between him and Paquita is also pretty nice and they have good chemistry together. Im glad I decided not to eat while watching this because the lunch scene was really gross. The climax of the movie is just glorious, with the amount of action and gore shown. What really makes this movie so memorable is just how absolutely disgusting and amazingly gory it could be.

Inviso - This movie is gross and I more than likely would never want to watch it againbut I still found it compelling and fascinating at the same time. The plot is thinner than skim milk for sure, but this really isnt about plot. Its about weird and over-the-top characters surviving in an even-weirder and more over-the-top zombie situation. Every character (except the Hispanic shopkeep, somehow) is a one-note caricature, and yet the movie still manages to work because its not about characterization or anything like that. Its about a horrid old woman getting bitten by an evil monkey, rapidly decomposing, and slowly infecting a large group of people to serve as grotesque zombies. The last twenty minutes of zombie warfare are hilarious, and the insanity just builds to a whole house party of zombies, the use of a goddamn lawnmower as a weapon, and the main character clawing his way out of his zombie demon mother in a rebirth scenario. I should also mention that the movie randomly tacks on both a tarot card prediction of the shopkeepers love life, AND a subplot about the main characters father drowning, because the movie apparently needed both of those things. Its crazy and gross, but I HAVE to give props for the practical effects. Oh, and also, the priest kung fu scene is fucking amazing. I kick ass for the Lord! indeed.

Snake - Why I Chose It - Perhaps the pinnacle of the splatter film, Braindead (or Dead Alive in NA) has the reputation of being the "bloodiest" film in history. It is also the most representative of Peter Jackson's early filmmaking sensibilities, with an affinity for the strange, mass carnage & black comedy.

My Thoughts - I've never seen such a delightful movie that has so much gore and grossness. This film is off-the-rails insane and I like almost every minute of it. The storyline is strangely compelling and gives the gore scenes an enjoyable background to work with. It's also just straight-up hilarious, Peter Jackson pulls off tongue-in-cheek humor flawlessly. Perhaps it overstays it's welcome, but certain scenes are just so good and disgusting that it doesn't even bother me.
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Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale
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Entity
Alien Bounty Hunter
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The Thing
Eddie Van Blundht
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Carnage
Freddy Krueger
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Snake - Why I Chose It - One of the most recognizable monster movies ever made thanks to a combination of Kevin Bacon's starpower and the attention-grabbing Graboids, Tremors has become a huge franchise of 5 sequels & a TV series.

My Thoughts - Tremors is a decently enjoyable movie with some nice moments of comedy balanced with legitimate danger, and really fun practical effects. No complaints about the cast either. Ultimately though, Tremors is missing that "x-factor" for me, and I can't for the life of me figure out what it is. There's just something off about it, that doesn't really pull me in as much as I thought it would.

Karo - In this hick town in colorado or whatever there's these earthquakes that are caused by unknown burrowing monsters and a lot of people get eaten but unfortunately not the dipshit little boy. The main characters are these two moronic cowboys who spend a lot of the movie yelling at each other and the other dumbass residents of the town, with everyone having such atrocious acting that it makes Anakin in the Phantom Menace look Oscar-worthy. The creatures are stupid looking and don't make a bit of sense from any logical standpoint, its just like yo dawg, I heard you like snakes so we put snakes inside your snakes so you can snake when you snake and snake snake snake snake. So aliens, irradiated mutants, or escaped government bioweapons? The fuck if I know, as far as the movie is concerned these things just exist for the sake of existing, nothing but dumb shit cooked up in the head of someone who wanted to remake Jaws with giant earthworms.

Genny - I didn't hate Tremors as much as I thought I guess. It's a competent movie though I cannot comprehend the prevalence of giant regular animal movies in this decade. 5.2/10

Charon - Deep beneath the sands are terrifying worms; more digging is required for a quality film. Definitely the weakest of the Bacon films for me, this one is just a little over-the-top, try hard sort of funny. The main characters seem like they should have gigantic heads and limbs because of how much they feel like caricatures. The romance here feels really forced and unbelievable as well. Sure it's a young Kevin Bacon, but they really seem to have virtually no common bond that isn't surviving gigantic sand worms together. The worms themselves are just kinda eh as antagonists. As far as monsters go, I guess they're not awful or anything. I do like the mythical beast known as the Mongolian sandworm, which I feel these are partially based upon. Ultimately, I just feel the characters here are too campy and I found it hard to get much invested in their fate.
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23. Tremors

Inviso - 9
Johnbobb - 13
Scarlet - 16
JONA - 25
KBM - 25
Snake - 25
Karo - 26
Genny - 33
Charon - 34

Inviso - Its been a long time since Id seen Tremors, so the freshest memory I had of it was the RedLetterMedia review. And that review hit the nail right on the head with regards to this film. Its great. Its cheesyvery B-movie. But a B-movie can be amazing, and Tremors was exactly that. It just nails a lot of the best things about horror movies. Theres a slow build as the viewer wonders what this mysterious, murderous creature is; the protagonists have to think and reason a way out of their situation; and theres some quirky fun to the characters that makes you get invested in their survival. The whole they can sense vibrations thing adds some suspense amidst the cornier elements of the film, and it just makes the protagonists feel that much more impressive when they manage to overcome the odds and win. Also, I love the fact that you have four graboids, and the writers killed all four in different ways (head-first into concrete, shot to shit, blown the fuck up, and launched off a cliff.) Thats creative, and its a nice little cherry on top of a quaint and fun movie.

Johnbobb -This is one of the first things I think of when I think of fun, goofy monster movies. The graboids are just a great monster design. Huge and bizarre and threatening but also fun to watch and easy to understand. It manages to take what's expected of a horror environment (dark, small and clautrophobic) and flip it on its head, managing that same inherent creepiness in a massive, bright desert town. It jumps right into the threat and action without wasting any time. Kevin Bacon is wacky and enjoyable to watch. Reba and her man and their wall of guns are hilarious. It's not a flawless movie by any stretch but it's a blast to watch.

Scarlet - Your mileage may vary, depending on your love for the B-Movies of yesteryear. Kevin Bacon hams it up in this love letter to the monster movies of the 50s, and the campy stupidity is both a blessing and a curse as it sets the tone. While the movie seems fully aware of how bad it is, it also isnt able to rectify that problem in any way. Knowing is half the battle, but there is another half, and that falls into the realm of doing something about it. It seems like the director here was content on letting the actors disguise the flimsiness of the film with cartoonish performances, distracting from the man behind the curtain here.
Rating: 50/100

JONA - The characters are likable enough and the setting of the town in the desert helps give the movie its own vibe. Its also fun to see how they deal with the creatures. It doesnt have much substance but its just dumb fun.

KBM - Here's a movie I can't help but feel I should have liked more than I did. Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward are super charismatic in the lead roles; Michael Gross and Reba McEntire are equally delightful as a pair of comic-relief survivalists. Really most of the cast are beyond solid, and the movie has a pretty good sense of humor about its ridiculous premise. Sadly, at least for me, Tremors ends up being slightly less than the sum of its parts. Possibly it's the knock-off Arrakis sandworms that didn't do much for me, maybe the fact that the movie doesn't have much visual style going for it outside of some creative low-budget effects, or the somewhat repetitive script, or maybe it's the fact that the whole thing is so doggedly PG-13 that it loses a bit of the bite it could have had. Nevertheless it's a decent, rewatchable movie, that makes up for its lack of scares with a strong cast and a genuine sense of humor.
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Holy Grail
Beatles
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Papers, Please
Hotline Miami
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Outlier

Genny - 146
Inviso - 145
Charon - 133
KBM - 117
Karo - 94
Johnbobb - 89
Scarlet - 65
JONA - 64
Snake - 64

It's a close race for the top AND bottom now.
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Charon - Terrific acting is tempered by a somewhat too slice-of-life style story that doesn't particularly hold up well in its own genre. Robert Patrick is a treasure as usual, putting on a brilliant performance. Really all the actors do a phenomenal job here, the problem really is just the limitations of this film. Since it is based on a real account of an alien abduction, it's hard for the film to do much beyond tell you that story without the actual people looking too foolish for imagining something outlandish. I find it difficult to call it a horror film, as horrifying as I'm sure being abducted and tested upon is and I in no way want to discount the stories of anyone who believes that's happened to them, but as a film I can only rate this so high on the strength of the actors.

Karo - This bunch of loggers sees a UFO in the sky, and because one of them is a dumbass he ends up abducted and thoroughly probed. The group comes under suspicion of having murdered their friend, and some attempt at resolution is made by a lot of idiot rednecks shouting in each others faces. Not really a whole lot else happens in the film, the aliens never reappear except in flashback, it's just these grubby lumberjacks protesting over and over that they reaaaaaally did see their friend get kidnapped by E.T. and they werent just taking LSD on the job. It is very hampered by being based on a 'true' story and thus limiting the plot from taking any surprising turns. Or any turns at all, really.

Johnbobb - That abduction flashback scene would've made an INCREDIBLE short film. It's a shame you have to watch an hour of angsty blue collar UFO sighting politics to get to it.

KBM - This is a horror movie? Huh. Well, regardless of genre, this movie really only makes it even this high on my list for one reason only: the actual alien abduction scene, once it finally happens, lives up to its reputation and makes for a genuinely harrowing 15 minutes or so. But man, that 15 minutes is just about the only substantial thing about this movie, which for the most part was a slog to get through. The actors are clearly doing their best here, but I spent most of the nearly two-hour runtime utterly bored by this slow slice-of-life tale about a bunch of toxic asshole rednecks. It's telling that the scenes aboard the alien craft have almost nothing at all to do with Travis Walton's actual account of what happened almost as if the filmmakers would have been better off scrapping the based on a true story angle and coming up with a more interesting story entirely to surround the abduction scenes
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24. Fire in the Sky

Inviso - 11
Snake - 17
Genny - 19
Scarlet - 25
JONA - 26
Charon - 28
Karo - 29
Johnbobb - 31
KBM - 32

Inviso - This is a weird movie, because everything the viewer sees is based on a true storyor at least as true as a story about alien abduction can be. As a result, the plotline is told in a very bizarre fashionbut it still kinda works. The cold open has a bunch of shellshocked guys showing up in town, scared shitless, and then it turns out one of their buddies is MIA. So for the first half of the film, its purely a thriller where the audience has no idea if the alien abduction story is true or not, and whether Dallis really murdered Travis or not. But then Travis returns, all kinds of fucked up, and were subjected to an EXTREMELY disturbing alien abduction sequence, where hes floating through a ship after some horrific imagery and events take place. And thats it. He remembers everything, but life has to move on as though nothing ever happened. Its an interesting take, and again, its something that would only ever come about if youre trying to adapt a real story. That makes it feel more compelling in and of itself, so I guess Im pretty okay with that.

Snake - Why I Chose It - Based on the true story of Travis Walton's UFO abduction, Fire in the Sky has what is considered one of the most well-regarded and most frightening alien abduction scenes ever.

My Thoughts - Despite my lowish ranking here, I adore this movie. Ufology is a hobby close to my heart, and I think the story of Travis Walton is one of the most interesting and frightening cases out there. I really like the different kind of horror on display here; it's not what most people would consider horror, but that pain and longing of not knowing what happened to your close friend while everyone around you blames you, is so sad and scary to me. Of course, when the real horror of the alien abduction does start, it is so jarring and contrary to the rest of the film that it feels like your breath gets literally taken away as you hang on every horrifying and sickening detail. The performances are all excellent and I think the slow, methodical pace works wonders in deepening the film's overall impact on me.

Genny - I had no idea Fire in the Sky was based on real-life events prior to watching it for this project, though my fianc did and notified me. I thought it would be difficult to attempt to make a horror film that borrowed from actual events, particularly events that didn't involve some tragic massacre, but I was proven wrong. It's competently made, and though the creepy visuals tread toward sci-fi more often than horror the depicted imagery does inspire a certain sense of dread within me. The actors' portrayals are also good enough to get signed off by a couple of the actual people who went through this, and the performances inspire pity and hopelessness so I cannot complain. 7.4/10

Scarlet - You know how some people suck and say that Close Encounters is boring because they cant appreciate the cultural zeitgeist of the film? Yeah, Fire in the Sky actually DOES suck because its so phenomenally boring that taking a sleeping pill works less effectively as self-medicating anesthesia than this movie, and there is no cultural zeitgeist to this slog of a movie. Ive read Wall Street Journal articles with more excitement.
Rating: 29/100

JONA - The drama is somewhat intriguing and the alien scenes are cool but this just feels stretched out for what it is.
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Water Room (Resident Evil 4)
Water Prison (Silent Hill 4: The Room)
Swimming (Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty)
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Inviso - If Im trying to be completely objective, this wasnt a BAD movie. Guillermo del Toro knows his way around a horror film. It just didnt really appeal to me. I wasnt necessarily grossed out by the bugs or anythingI dont know how to describe it. I guess the way Id put it is that the film felt like it was trying too hard to make a gritty, realistic setting, complete with realistic-looking bug autopsies and organs. Butthat just made the whole thing feel unpleasant to watch, you know? Dont get me wrong, any movie where the first two kills are two obnoxious little bastard children gets some points in my book for taking a risk (although seriously, the autistic shoe shine kid deserved to die.) I cant explain it. This just didnt appeal to me. It was like Alien (or Aliens, since there were multiple bug creatures), if Alien took itself just a LITTLE too seriously for its own good. That seriousness is the make or break determination for me, I guess.

KBM - My least favorite of Guillermo del Toro's films, I was at least pleasantly surprised that I didn't absolutely hate this movie thanks to my visceral and crippling phobia of cockroaches. Del Toro is one of the most talented directors working today, so even the least of his oeuvre has things going for it. For one, Charles S. Dutton as an ornery MTA officer provides some much-needed life to the proceedings, and thanks to del Toro's visual flair, the movie manages to maintain a certain level of creepy atmosphere even when nothing particularly interesting is happening. Unfortunately this is dragged down by several factors: some corny, pointless jump scares, a pretty dull script, and an utter lack of chemistry between Mira Sorvino and Jeremy Northam as the romantic leads being the chief offenders. You also have a story that wastes a perfectly good F. Murray Abraham, a magical autistic trope of a character whose story arc really doesn't go anywhere at all, and behind-the-scenes executive meddling fuckery courtesy of the Weinsteins that definitely didn't help matters.

Genny - Oh Guillermo del Toro, how could you have anything to do with this? Of all the "giant version of commonplace animal is a huge threat" films the plot for Mimic is the most forgivable, but I would be lying through my teeth if I said I felt anything for any of the characters contained within. 5.2/10

Charon - An unbelievable monster movie that you can't think about too long or you'll completely unravel the plot until it's a twitching roach on the floor. So we'll release these roaches, that will destroy these other disease ridden roaches, right? Okay. We'll biologically engineer the species to die after a few months, and they'll be completely infertile. Check. We've gotta kill all these humanoid roaches! Uh... ok. It just handles the transition so badly you'd think it was a joke. I know this is based on a book and I'm curious if the book makes any more sense out of this or not. From a scientific standpoint, this one might make the least sense of all the science fiction themed horrors. I'm just not seeing how these things evolved to the point they did; things just don't work like that. Ignoring that part of it, the movie isn't terrible or anything. It has some odd plot points like "abduct main female character, but don't kill her, like we killed every other character we encounted" but the atmosphere it decent enough. I just can't get passed the antagonists though; it's too outlandish.
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25. Mimic

Karo - 17
JONA - 20
Snake - 20
Scarlet - 23
Johnbobb - 24
Inviso - 25
KBM - 29
Genny - 32
Charon - 36

Karo - Scientists release genetically modified bugs into the city to stop a cockroach plague, and of course they get realllly big and start eating humans. I'm sorry, but you can't just take a tiny little insect with termite and mantis DNA and have it turn into a six foot tall humanoid with fucking lungs in just three years, I don't care how fast its metabolism is. If you are having 17 thousand generations per year it means you are basically mating right out of the egg sac and that means no natural selection. Anyway, everyone heads down into the scary sewers and gets torn to pieces by big bad buggies. It is nothing but a generic monsters in the dark movie, and true to its title it is just a mimicry of better films that came before.

JONA - Honestly, my favorite part of the movie might be the opening credits. Thats not even to say the movie is bad or anything; those were some cool credits. The movies got great atmosphere and shows off the dirty, dingy Manhattan subways well. I already hate cockroaches and seeing Ermine-sized cockroaches scared the heck out of me. Theres not much that makes this movie stand out but its still enjoyable.

Snake - Why I Chose It - Del Toro's second '90s outing, and first big-budget film, Mimic is his first film to showcase his natural talent for the fantastical & grotesque monster design he his known for. It is also Norman Reedus' debut film, and became a minor franchise with 2 sequels.

My Thoughts - It is far from Del Toro's most solid film, but damn does the guy know how to build atmosphere. The naturally terrifying look of New York subways is the perfect breeding ground for this, with the gritty reality juxtaposing with the fantastical humanoid cockroach monster. And what a monser it is. It looks dated, but I think in the way that PS1 graphics look dated. It reminds me of how the graphics of the original Silent Hill became scarier in retrospect due to not being able to clearly tell what certain things fully look like. I absolutely love that feeling. If I had a complaint, the cast and characters are completely forgettable, and can't really muster up anything worthwhile between them.

Scarlet - Featuring a monstrous foe thats one part Species, one part The Thing, and one part nonsensical, Mimic is easily the worst outing ever by Guillermo del Toro. Just a complete mess thats only buttressed by some excellent tonal work that only Del Toro can create. However, its a pretty paint-by-numbers plot with some terrible performances. Send this movie to Bargain Bin Hell, boy.
Rating: 37/100

Johnbobb - Given that it's a Del Toro film, it shouldn't be a surprise that the best thing about it was the monster design. A life-sized roach bug that visually adapts to hunt humans? That's what I wanted from Arachnophobia! It's just a shame nothing more is ever really done with it. It's creepy and atmospheric at first, but eventually devolves into more of a generic survival monster horror. There's a lot of wasted potential here.
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Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under.
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