Lurker > davidponte

Borderlands and NHL 20 for me because I'm an asshole that wants to contribute to EA's loot boxes.
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Maybe this year is finally my year

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

Tag for later

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

I've got two drafts coming up next week. One is an auction PPR league, which is new for me in football so I'm excited and don't know what to expect from that. The other is a standard 14 team league, except that we'll be doing the draft live at a sports bar that was offering a free host of fantasy drafts a little while ago that my commish jumped on. Should be a great time.

9th pick in that 14 team league. Looking at Bell/Conner in R1 with a likely Kerryon/Williams R2 pick. I'm hoping Mixon falls to me in the second.
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+15 Lee Everett (The Walking Dead)
+10 Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII)
+5 Wakka (Final Fantasy X)
+4 Jecht (Final Fantasy X)
+2 Chloe Frazer (Uncharted)

Not bad so far.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

+15 Lee Everett (The Walking Dead)
+10 Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII)
+5 Wakka (Final Fantasy X)
+2 Chloe Frazer (Uncharted)

From my list so far.


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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

Tag!
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LadyVyxx posted...

How have pats fans survived this massive 7 month playoff drought

It's been tough. I've almost forgotten what it feels like to win.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

Seahawks

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

Go Pats

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

ExThaNemesis posted...

man, Tom Brady really outlasted both Peyton Manning AND Andrew Luck wtf

https://twitter.com/barstoolsports/status/1165437315801669632?s=19
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What the fuck
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Football

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

Is this the year I make it past week two?

no
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List is sent.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

I too am a lefty!

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

RDR2 was simultaneously my favourite game of 2018 and one of my least favourite games to play of 2018, which doesn't make any sense, but that's how I feel.

The moment to moment gameplay ranged from "solid" to "mildly annoying" for me. None of it felt particularly "fun", although I don't think that's technically a requirement when playing a game. It was slow at the best of times, and doing anything in the world kind of felt like a chore. The biggest offender to me was having to walk at a snails pace through camp. I can understand that Rockstar was going for immersion, and sometimes it did work, but most of the time it just felt like it got in the way.

With all that being said, getting to the next story beat or emotional high was more than worth it. This game contains some of my favourite single moments in gaming altogether through some of the major moments, and I instantly forgot about all the mildly annoying things every time I got to one of those points. I loved the story, loved the character development, and loved the emotion, especially in the late game. The good heavily outweighed the mediocre, for me.

Essentially what I'm saying is I wish the game was an interactive movie.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

I've sent in a list!

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

First game, a played Zephrys took me from a 0% chance to survive the next turn to a situation in which I couldn't have lost. That doesn't seem like it'll be infuriating at all!

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

Still have yet to play a game this expansion after opening up my packs. Looking at HSreplay and the Control Warrior build seems really boring which is right up my alley. Also interested in that Highlander Hunter build. Time to spend some of this dust.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

Is the pre-season over yet
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So the Azores is still a ways off from mainland Europe and it's only 4 hours ahead of EST.

Leafs/Raptors games at 11pm and Football at 5pm is very much doable.

I can still kind of legally watch it too by logging into my cable account that the family pays for from there and streaming it.
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I got the Warrior, Priest, and Shaman quests in 45 packs. Which ones are good?

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

foolm0r0n posted...

Tell your family (or gf) to teach you portuguese already

I understand it a decent amount just from being around my grandma all these years, but struggle when it comes to speaking.
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So apparently Antonio Brown got frostbite on his feet. In Oakland. In August.

by entering a cryotherapy machine without the proper footwear
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Also apparently because my dad was born there I qualify to be a Portuguese citizen without needing to do anything but apply, which solves about 90% of the logistics issues of going to another country long term.
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Gatarix posted...

okay I didn't think about holidays, you raise a good point

Yeah, I think your original point and then what Corrik said is likely a good representation of things, at least the way I understand it.

This is really happening, and I'm excited for it. We told my parents and then most of my extended family and almost everyone shared similar thoughts to most here, they say there's no harm in trying and I've got nothing to lose. A lot of, "we're excited but also incredibly sad". My dad shed a tear, told me if it wasn't for my younger sister he'd be right there with me over there.

My grandma wasn't the happiest, which was rough because she might be the person I'd miss the most. It's a little funny because she is super cultural Portuguese, speaks it at home, and lived there before migrating here in the 70s. She's never been back but now she has a reason to go, I guess.

I've already got half the family trying to figure out when to visit, so that made me feel better.
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I guess it's time to get back into this now
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I can go into more detail later, but literally the only reason we haven't gotten married is because of financials. We've both openly discussed it and know it's coming, but I don't want to be one of those people who is engaged for 5 years, so we agreed that we wouldnt get engaged until we were ready.

By discussed it I mean not recently, but yeah.
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No proposal. Still not at a computer so I can't reply to everyone yet, but we talked it all over again and came to the conclusion that the time was the issue.

On her end it was essentially, "I can't wait until January, I need to go sooner", which is where the, "I don't know if I want to be there alone" came from, because she assumed I wouldn't budge on the date. Once we talked and I thought about it, the difference between January and October isn't big enough that it changes my mind, so I expressed genuine interest in going earlier and that changed everything for the better.

The "I should feel happy but don't" feeling is gone from her now that the date has moved up, so I guess that's that.
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Sorry guys, I feel like I left you all hanging there for longer than I should have. The responses have been great, and mostly positive, I think? Which is good. I'll respond to everyone in a bit, currently not home, but I will say that some of the recommendations were things I did independently and I believe we're in a better spot now. Things are looking up after they were incredibly down, and I'll explain all that when I get a chance.
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Well, I just got the hammer dropped on me, guys. I think this is leading towards us breaking up.

Despite my best efforts to pledge myself to the idea of going there, trying it out, and being excited about it potentially working out and it turning into a permanent thing, it's not enough. I feel like every day I've given a little more of myself in at attempt to make things work, only for her to come back a few hours later and tell me, "I should be happy but I'm not".

Today we woke up and she told me she didn't think she could wait any longer. Initially we agreed and she was very happy with the idea of going in January to give me a little more time with my family and to save some more money. So I said that, because I'm genuinely excited to do this now, I'd be willing to go earlier. Still not enough.

So then she just said it and explained that she's confused. She doesn't know if she wants it to be us together, or if she wants it to be her alone there, and it's currently split right down the middle. I told her she should probably break up with me, and she continued to explain that she doesn't want that and wants to be with me. I turned into a human question mark and pointed to the sentence right before that and explained that I don't see how both of those thoughts can co-exist. Again, any time I explain the situation in plain terms and tell her that if she doesn't know she should probably just break up with me, she explains that she doesn't want that. I don't know what to do. It would absolutely be easier for me to just break up with her, but that gives me the same "What if?" of whether it could have worked out or not.

This was all this morning, where the first thing she told me was, "Maybe I should get some help and talk to someone."

I should also go into detail for the sake of context of new information for everyone here. I'm positive I mentioned in one of my posts that I'm the only reason that she comes back, and otherwise she would just stay there forever. This is important because I think it makes what she said next less hurtful, and more understandable, maybe? Or it's bad and I'm in shock and I'm trying to spin it positively. Anyway, she explained that there were moments on her latest trip where she kind of wished she didn't have to worry or think about me so that she could just stay there. I asked for clarification, she tells me that it's not a, "I wished I was single so I could go out and go crazy", but rather, "I just really wanted to be there and obviously it would be an easier decision if I didn't have you".

Either way, kind of shitty, right? I feel like this is the point in the post where everyone instantly replies with, "You need to let her go, dude". We tried to rationalize this with the idea that it's understandable because it wasn't necessarily her wanting to be single, but rather her wanting to do what it takes to be there long term. I also said that this was obviously something that occurred before we talked about me going, so she never could have even imagined being together there when those thoughts first came up.

She agreed that could be the case, but even then, we are still currently at the stale mate of her not knowing what she wants, and that kind of fucking hurts considering I've already mentally prepared myself and became happy and excited about the possibility of our future together.

My last 72 hours have gone from me thinking life was great, to me being distraught with what I had heard, to me accepting and then getting excited about the future, to now me thinking that it's all over. I'm not feeling the greatest, to say the least.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

We both live with our families currently and the only meaningful bills I pay are a phone bill and my student loans, so moving back amounts to buying a ticket home.
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Corrik7 posted...

Can you afford to move?

This is where her family comes in. Obviously we can afford the tickets and have what is really an insignificant amount of money saved up (a couple thousand between the two of us), but we wouldn't be paying rent until theoretically later down the line. We'd be living at her grandparents house, where all of the kids have moved out and they're rarely home. It's kind of the closest we could get to "private" living in a sense. Her family owns a restaurant there so there is a guaranteed spot for at least one of us as far as work goes if it takes time to get on our feet.

Both the cost of living and the pay there are like a tenth of what they are here, but it's much easier to survive and even excel at "minimum wage" over there. Her young aunt and uncle just bought a house there and he works at the restaurant and she works at a furniture store.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

If thats the case, its an even easier decision, imo.

After living in Toronto her whole life, she visited Portugal and feels such a connection that she is no longer happy in Toronto.

You both have Portuguese heritage, you said you enjoyed your time there. Its a no brainer.

Either you both go or you break up, imo. If you convince her not to go, shes going to resent you forever, and if you hate it, well now you know, and can move back.

Absolutely. I'm feeling better than I ever have about going right now. I'm actually excited about it?

Peridiam posted...

How well cemented are you with your current job?

Not at all. I'll explain my situation a little bit. I graduated with my BeD in April, but the newly elected Conservative government literally fucked teachers and essentially made it nearly impossible to find a job as a new teacher, so I didn't.

I currently work seasonal at a fast food place that only runs from April-September. I've been wanting out forever. I did just get a new job that is only 15 hours a week at a solid pay upgrade that is kind of related to my field (running afterschool programs for kids), but that was something to get to pay the bills while I wait for the teaching thing to work itself out and to put on the resume.

So my position is very fluid, to say the least.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

StealThisSheen posted...

The reason I said it seemed like she wasn't willing to compromise is that the way he framed it makes it sound like she's not in the same situation as him. The way I read it is they've lived in Toronto their whole/most of their lives, met there, have been together there this whole time, etc., and she has just visited Portugal. Now, she wants to move there completely, and his choice is uproot everything as well or break up.

This is 100% the case.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

@UltimaterializerX @redrocket @ChaosTonyV4 @PerfectChaosZ @MZero11 @GranzonEx @StealThisSheen

I hope that kind of clears up the mental health thing. Did not want to come off as inconsiderate and thank you for making me see clearly.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

Okay, back on a computer and I want to clear up some misconceptions.

I don't think I'm being attacked, and appreciate people voicing differing opinions and opinions that differ from what I initially thought.

MZero11 posted...

I think he was asking if he should bring it up, not whether we think she has a mental health issue or not

This is correct. I wasn't trying to be an accuser, as I mentioned in my last post. I was just thinking out loud and I appreciate people getting me to realize that I was way off base in thinking that. Thanks, genuinely. As I said, I probed into it lightly with my girlfriend and it's all good. It's not something I'm thinking about anymore.

@MariaTaylor I appreciate your comments, I really do. I also think that you don't have all the facts and have done some assuming and that's on me at least partly, if not totally. I've made it clear that I want to try, and in fact, since that first post, have felt much better about the trying thanks to the support from people here. I want to try and I want this to work. So, she was born and raised in Toronto, just like me, and she has lived here her entire life. She goes to Portugal a whole lot but honestly has probably spent less than a collective two years there in her entire life. She hasn't just "spent some time here". 95% of her life has been here. That doesn't change how she feels or change any of this, but it should change some of the word usage being thrown around in here for sure.

MariaTaylor posted...

sure but it's completely unfair to push this narrative that she is somehow being unreasonable and refusing to budge even a little bit when he is actually the one refusing to compromise. she has been dealing with the exact same complications (being away from family) that he is so keen on avoiding! the irony is fucking ridiculous. I wasn't going to comment on this topic until I saw the mental illness thing and now I just can't hold my tongue.

Something like this, for example, given the new information.

Again, I love the replies, they have helped tremendously, and I love the replies that disagree with me. I'm so glad my idea of mental health being a possibility was immediately shot down, because frankly I was wrong.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

I'm like 20 replies behind but I feel like I need to say this because of the overwhelming feeling here:

Mental illness was not the right word to use there, and it's not what I meant. I didn't mean to imply that this was an issue that needed to be fixed, or anything like that. I realize in hindsight that post made me come off like an inconsiderate asshole and I really don't want people to think that, because that's not my motive here.

Sorry for that. I will say that I had a discussion with my girlfriend in much friendlier words and it's all good.

Back to reading the replies.
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Yeah, that makes sense.

We're deep enough into this relationship and know each other enough that I can absolutely seriously bring this up without causing more harm here. If she truly doesn't take to talking to someone professionally, I'm not going to force it.
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Pats
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Fuck, I don't know what to do. It's clear that everyone here agrees it might not be a good idea, and my friend thinks that it's absolutely necessary.
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So I potentially have an update. Nothing new in terms of conversation, but some information that may or may not be relevant that I didn't really think about before this.

I just spent some time talking to a good friend of both of ours that has known us both since before we started dating, and she brought up something that I also briefly mentioned to my girlfriend that I probably shouldn't have let be dismissed so easily.

What if there is some sort of prevailing mental health issue here? I don't mean to trivialize in the sense that I think, "because she wants change something must be wrong", but the signs are there. She enjoys being there so much because of family and because of the support she gets. Here, the support isn't there from anyone but me. Her home life isn't the greatest, without going into too much detail, and there are issues there. So when she goes back to Portugal, those issues disappear and suddenly she is showered with support from a dozen people that she only really receives from me and a few close friends here.

I brought up the idea of seeking help, talking to a professional. I did this early on in the stages of our conversation yesterday morning. Our mutual friend then independently also suggested that as the very first thing to do in her talk with me. My girlfriend is adamant that it isn't that kind of issue because she doesn't feel it that way and just feels better there, but I don't think it could make it worse, could it?

The issue now, though, is that I feel like I'd have to backtrack if I was serious about this. To go from, "Hey, I'll try this out", to, "Hey, maybe you should talk to someone before we make any decisions", is going to feel like I've changed my mind about things and don't believe what she believes she's feeling.

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I was the final Undisputed Champion in UCA history,
however Advokaiser was the Guru Champion!

The Pats in the superbowl would also be tough
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While the "you don't need a star RB/WR to win a super bowl" argument is technically true if we look at the last 20 years or so of super bowls, it's kind of a skewed stat because the Patriots have been involved in a lot of them and they do things differently than every other team in the league.
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Looks like the Patriots are re-signing their starting QB. Seems like a risk to employ someone over the age of 40.
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MZero11 posted...

Is she dead set on living in Sao Miguel specifically? Maybe you could compromise on mainland Portugal? I'm not really sure about the geographical details. That does make a pretty big difference imo

The location is important. It's not Portugal that matters, it's her family and the lifestyle. If her family all lived here, this wouldn't be an issue. Her mom came to Canada when she was 18 and every other person in the family stayed behind, so she has no one else here.
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I don't know how much of a difference this makes but I should clarify that her family is from Sao Miguel (as well as mine), the largest of the Azores islands and not a part of mainland Portugal.

It's definitely more "rural" but they still have all the important stuff, solid internet, cable, mall, a big city. They likely don't have Amazon or a delivery equivalent, odds are comics are going to be tough to find, and I'm not sure on the gaming situation, although I'd obviously bring my stuff over. These are all little things that are a part of my life now that would facilitate me enjoying a life there.

Going from Toronto, with a popularion of 4+ million, to Sao Miguel, where the entire island has like 100 000 people on it, is obviously a huge endeavor.

A "positive", though, is that "life" seems easier there. Her family all own homes and have cars and some of them work at restaurants or the mall, and they still go out and enjoy life.
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I think it's worth a try, I really do. In my current state, having not lived there, I can't imagine it obviously, but I'll never know for sure until I try. That's been the thought in most of the replies and my thoughts as well.

The sinking feeling in my stomach continues to come from the after. What if I don't like it? It's clear from the replies and from my own looking inward that the only mind that's going to change here is mine now.

I just don't know what to do. Despite the idea that it's worth it to try, I feel like that sinking feeling is going to never go away until a final conclusion is reached. I'm sitting here trying to decide what's worse: the feeling of breaking up right now, or the feeling of going through everything with a sinking feeling and knowing if I don't change the result is the same.

I'm honestly not sure what the answer is.
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I think you're right, and I'm not entirely sure how to feel.

Unrelated to those comments, but there's a large part of me that just wishes things would "go back to normal" and I'm finally beginning to understand that the "normal" I want is never going to happen. It feels particularly bad, to be honest.

There's also a smaller part of me that thinks things will never be truly "good" again. I'm kind of dreading waking up in the morning and having to confront this all over again.

But those are both me issues that I need to deal with.
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