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That's the most exciting thing to happen in Nebraska since ever.

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So long as it isn't dumb stuff like that mini-speech in Spider-Man 3. That was horrible.

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Watching NXT.

Omg, Maxine is hilarious and awesome now.

"You should smile more. You have a nice smile."

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From: edwardsdv | #248
I mean I already knew about great and pretty much all of them are better than damien neckbeard.

Incorrect. Sandow is superior to those two in every way!

But they're still pretty great. You can join the Rick Victor hype train with me now though!

CANADIAN LIFTAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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According to William Regal, they throw fake European Uppercuts!

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Jakyl, compare the European Uppercuts to the American Uppercuts to the Canadian Lifters.

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FCW - May 6, 2012

Hey guys. I'M ALL CAUGHT UP FOR FCW! Looks like we're getting a JIM ROSS and William Regal commentary team.

First match is Jason Jordan & Mike Dalton vs Leo Kruger & Brad Maddox. Maybe Maddox can teach Leo Kruger to be more interesting. (Probably not) Oh my god. XD Leo distracts the ref while Maddox grabs Dalton's hair and yanks on it harshly. Then he lets go and holds his hand out, then yells at the ref, "REF! LEGAL TAG!" And then Leo Kruger tags him in. Maddox then smacks around Dalton and says, "I'm so much better than you! This is embarrassing!" Why doesn't Maddox get a promo with this? Maddox is being so pro in the ring. Anyway, Jason Jordan cleans house with the hot tag. However, Maddox uses one badass move to get the victory! He runs up, swings around his opponent with his arm around the front of their shoulders, then lands on his knees to hit a vicious jawbreaker. It looked pretty sick. But Maddox gets out of the ring, looks at Kruger, then yells, "That's how you win a match!" I'm just happy I got to hear Brad Maddox's theme song again!

Next up is a triple threat with Raquel Diaz vs Audrey Marie vs Paige (w/ crazy death metal theme & Sofia Cortez). Oh yeah, AUDREY MARIE IS SO HOT.

Regal: Sofia is one of those girls you don't ever want to come home to ten dollars short of your paycheck.

Basically, it's a Diva's match. Need I say much more? Actually one of the better ones though. The finish comes when Raquel hits Two/Three Amigos on Audrey and Paige covers her after the second while Raquel couldn't kick out because she was still locked in with Audrey. Hoorah for Paige.

And now we get to the 30 Minute Iron Man match for the 15 Championship between Richie Steamboat (c) vs Antonio Cesaro. At the 24 minute mark, Richie Steamboat counters a victory roll from Cesaro into a unique jacknife pin for the three count! 1-0. A big kick to the head after a front suplex to the ring ropes gets Antonio Cesaro his first pin at 18 minutes. 1-1. Antonio rolls through a crossbody attempt to get a pinfall at the 11 minute mark. 1-2. After a vicious European Uppercut, Cesaro goes for a pinfall, but Richie Steamboat counters into a Small Package get the pin at the 6 minute mark! 2-2. At the two minute mark, Richie misses a beautiful Moonsault, but then Cesaro nails a Gotch Style Neutralizer... but Richie kicks out! European Uppercut... kick out! Triple Gutwrench Suplex... kick out! He goes for the Ricola Bomb... but Richie slips through for a roll up! But Antonio kicks out! Then Cesaro gets up right into a Super Kick! Richie gets the pin! 3-2! Bell rings shortly after. Richie wins! Awesome match!

And that's our show!

Highlights:

Jason Jordan & Mike Dalton vs Leo Kruger & Brad Maddox -

Richie Steamboat vs Antonio Cesaro: 30 Minute Iron Man Match




I'm giving you an excuse to see more BRAD MADDOX. Do I need to say more? And then always check out Richie Steamboat and Antonio Cesaro's awesome match. It's very great!

Now then, I'll update weekly when I see each new episode. But for now... I don't need to spam the topic with more FCW stuff. WHEW!

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More people should be talking about the CANADIAN LIFTER!

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Oh hey, it's Mr. Jacked Nick Rogers. He has a beard now. So he looks like a midget lumberjack. James Bronson comes out after him with a much more awesome entrance than screaming "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKED!" Bronson does his point and thumbs down thing. Bronson immediately walks over to face the commentary table after the bell rings and yells out "Hey Regal! I want you to know something! You can't have Ambrose yet! I'm not done with him!" Byron is so damn amused by this. XD Anyway, Bronson nails a powerbomb from the corner, and then he makes Nick Rogers tap in a Side Figure Four Leglock. He locks in a Rear Naked Choke after the win, screaming. Regal then runs in and starts attacking James Bronson before locking in the Regal Stretch. Some redneck runs in and attacks Regal after that. They say he's Garrett Dylan, which is good because I'd have no idea who he is because he's never been on TV and is a generic fat redneck. Ambrose comes in after and locks Garrett in the Regal Stretch beside him. There's a YES! YES! YES! chant from the crowd. lol Regal then leaves, staring down Ambrose.

Next is the main event, Seth Rollins (c) vs Kassius Ohno for the Florida Heavyweight Championship. I'm not excited, mostly because Ohno isn't that good yet. Btw, I found this picture of Chris Russo for you guys:



Enjoy that. Very good match going on right now though. Ohno uses a unique maneuver that's basically a Suplex to Uranage. It was neat. Eventually Ohno kicks out of the Avada Kadavra. But then Rollins kicks out of the Rolling Elbow. How totally indy-riffic. Then Kassius hits the OHNO BLADE (seriously?) which is where he sets him up for a neckbreaker, then turns and elbows him in the back of the head. Rollins kicks out of that. But Rollins comes back with an Enziguiri followed by a Jumping Curb Stomp to win. I mean, it was a really good match, but nothing that completely blew me away.

Highlights:

Benicio Salazar vs Rick Victor -

Seth Rollins vs Kassius Ohno -

Basically, check out Rick Victor's match because he's a f***ing boss now. And then check out Rollins vs Ohno to see that Ohno does have potential to be great, I guess. It's a really good match.

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FCW - April 29, 2012

We have Byron Saxton, Chris Russo, and William Regal on commentary again! They hype up Seth Rollins vs Kassius Ohno for the Florida Heavyweight Championship tonight. Really? Already? Weak.

Benicio Salazar vs Rick Victor w/ Sofia Cortez & Paige starts us off. Okay, why hasn't our resident Mexican wrestling guru informed me about Benicio yet? All I know is that he's like, one of the most unappealing luchadores I've ever seen. Just look at this guy and tell me there is any intrigue about him at all.



Lamest luchadore ever, right? Rick Victor seems much more awesome with his two hos. Plus, he looks ripped now. Consider me impressed.

Regal: Let me ask you something. Benicio Salazar... why does he have that name if he's wearing a mask? Why is he not called something else? I mean, why do you have a normal name if you have a mask? I'm just asking.
Byron: Well, it sounds alright to me.
Regal: Mil Mascaras means "Man of a Thousand Masks" and so forth and so forth over the generations of luchadores. Could you not just look his name on the driver's license, look his name up on the registry, and then find out what he looks like?
Chris: Certainly a very good question.
Regal: I'm just asking.

Good lord, when did Rick Victor become so awesome? After last week's tag match, he's been on fire. He looks fabulous. Hot damn, this finish. Victor catches a hurricanrana attempt and nails a powerbomb. He puts his fist under his chin, bounces off the ropes, and SPINNING CANADIAN LIFTER! I am now a Rick Victor mark. He looked damn good in this match.

Then we get a backstage segment where James Bronson has Dean Ambrose in a Rear Naked Choke, screaming for him to tap. A few guys come over, like Mike Dalton, CJ Parker, and Jason Jordan (who is knocked out after being shoved into a chair). I was shocked because Bronson actually yelled "GIVE UP YOU PIECE OF S***!" Wowza. He tells Ambrose there's more where that came from after everyone else pulled him off.

Next up is Bo Rotundo vs Big E. Langston. Man, if Big E. Langston could have some mannerisms that actually looked good and not ridiculous, I'd probably be more receptive to him. OH MY GOD REGAL IS THE BEST ANNOUNCER EVER NOW. Regal kind of shuts off whenever Dean Ambrose is mentioned, so Chris Russo asks Regal a question about Ambrose and Bronson, and Regal is silent. Then, after a while of Russo and Saxton talking about it, Regal says this:

Regal: Do you know why I'm the WWE Magazine's Announcer of the Year? Because I talk about the matches that are going on, and a lot of announcers don't do that any more. So we should be talking about the match that's in progress.

William Regal is the f***ing man. Anyway, Langston is dominating this match, so Bo Rotundo is going to just surprise him with a Spear for the win, obviously. So the finish to this match was Bo Rotundo surprising Big E. Langston with a spear after no offense. Lovely.

We get the same Adam Mercer promo about how he's going to change WWE from being entertaining. Alrighty. He's still a 19 year old kid, remember.

Summer Rae comes out next with Naylor. Damn, Summer's theme song is awful. Regal calls Naylor a sea monkey. lolz So she announces there will be a 30 minute iron man match for the 15 Championship, and she got JR to commentate for it again. Summer Rae is terrible on the mic. So awkward and try hard. Summer Rae wants a photo op with Cesaro and Richie, so she calls them out to the ring. I wish they used Antonio Cesaro's theme in WWE instead of his sitcom theme. It's this badass war march song. It fits him well. Anyway, Summer is posing while Cesaro and Richie argue. And... then they just leave. Well, that was worth it.

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From: edwardsdv | #226
It could be worse. It could be Leo kruger

No, Bo Rotundo is historically like, worse than Leo Kruger on the mic. At least Leo is a good wrestler!

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Ugh, they're probably going to be calling Bo Rotundo up soon.

Ugh.

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I found Jakyl.

http://botchamania.com/man-gets-aj-tattoo/

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lmao They're really trying to sell John Cena being injured to the live audience.

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Anywho, next up is Corey Graves (c) & Jake Carter (c) vs Mike Dalton & CJ Parker for the FCW Tag Titles. Abraham Washington introduces Corey Graves and Jake Carter after talking himself up for being on RAW. Graves and Carter have an awesome theme song, btw. William Regal says that Graves and Carter were banned from Disney World for getting Pocahontas and the Little Mermaid in trouble. lmfao

Regal: You're actually impressing me with your comments here tonight.
Byron: I'm smarter than you think.
Regal: No, I don't think you are. But you're making a change.

Anyway, solid match. Jake Carter is pretty good. Corey Graves is fantastic. And Mike Dalton is really good. CJ Parker is still poo with an afro. Great match. Abraham Washington distracts the ref at the end and Corey Graves uses AW's cane to bash Mike Dalton in the face and get the pinfall! Awww yeah. They're a good team.

Highlights:

Jason Jordan vs Damien Sandow -

Bray Wyatt vs Aiden English -

Corey Graves & Jake Carter vs Mike Dalton & CJ Parker -

So check out Jason Jordan against Damien Sandow to see how Damien Sandow makes even mediocre wrestlers look incredible. He also has a great promo there.

And then check out Bray Wyatt's match to get Husky Harris's new character.

And then Corey Graves & Jake Carter's match to see those two in action, because they're a great team.

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FCW - April 22, 2012

And we get Byron Saxton back with Chris Russo and William Regal! Yay!

We have Jason Jordan vs DAMIEN SANDOW! HYPE HYPE HYPE! Jason Jordan's theme song sounds like Tick Tock by Kesha.

LIGHTS OFF.

SPOTLIGHT PLEASE.

The problem with the FCW Universe is that we all suffer from the disease of incompetence-SILENCE! A disease that has plagued us for such a long time. We are a confederacy of delinquents of which Jason Jordan is a card carrying member! He expects more from a division one graduate! He expects more from all of us! He is back in FCW to give us the cure for the disease of incompetence that consumes us! He will give us deliverance from incompetence itself! And he thanks us.

Byron: Well that's a very nice thing of Damien to do.

Jason Jordan, the most vanilla. And you know what? Damien Sandow still makes him look like gold. Jason Jordan WITH LIMITED SKILLS AND ABILITIES looks great because Damien Sandow made him look great. This man is glorious. Jason Jordan did a blockbuster. Probably the only non-generic move yet. A victory roll gets Jordan the win though. Man, did Damien Sandow make this scrub look good.

Next up is Conor O'Brien who looks lifeless with Kenneth Cameron for their awesome entrance. Oh lord, Jiro gets a jobber entrance. IN FCW. That means you are jobbing exactly 10 times more. It's Conor O'Brien vs Jiro. Jiro hits his hard chops and slaps, and Conor convulses after each of them. Oh god. He freaks out and beats the hell out of Jiro. A big boot ends it fast. Conor wins!

Regal: I'm glad you're not in there now, aren't you Saxton?
Byron: Well, I've got to make sure that you guys are safe.

Another Raquel Diaz promo. Basically just trying to put herself over. I refuse to summarize this s***. Maybe I'll post a highlight so you all can understand why she is so terrible.

We talk to Leakee who knows who busted his knee before. He doesn't tell us though, the f***ing tease. He talks about being Samoan and how he missed Wrestlemania and The Rock. How boring.

Anyway, we get Bray Wyatt and Eli Cottonwood now! He don't need no internet machine to connect with people, because they know he's with them always. He is washing our brains of TV and media. He is everywhere and everything and he is forever. He sings that time is on his side. I feel like Husky Harris has recently seen Fallen starring Denzel Washington. And out comes Aiden English to Semi-Sweet Symphony, the first ever Dudebusters theme. It's Bray Wyatt vs Aiden English. Bray basically toys with him and literally dances with him at one point (like, literally dances with him). And then he nails his weird Flatliner and grins cheekily at him. He kisses the top of Aiden's head and nails a weird Uranage where he just kind of swats him down. Pretty sloppy and ineffective looking move. That gets him the three count.

GOD WHY DO YOU SURPRISE ME WITH SETH ROLLINS CARRYING A MIC LIKE THAT? I NEED TO PROPERLY PREPARE MYSELF. And he gives a very bad and generic promo. He calls out Kassius Ohno. "Oh no." He says he'll face him if he's respectful. Lulz

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They actually took out the online pass for their recent release Syndicate, indicating that they are well aware of the damage an online pass can do for the health of a game.

Oh, they're one of these ignorant crybabies.

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What's weird is the very last thing we talked about before RAW was about the face of ECW.

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I'm more weirded out by the number of people saying Weird Al Yankovic is one of their top five bands they listen to.

Like, seriously?

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Pearl Jam
Social Distortion
Metallica
Hurt
Pendulum

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Kefka

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Chat: b8watchesraw

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Ezekiel Jackson declares that he will be the Personification of Domination again.



I wonder if this will mean anything.

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Steve Austin: The Face of WCW

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So I heard that the auto-block and auto-throw gems have made SFxT even more terrible and unplayable now.

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And now the main event, James Bronson vs Dean Ambrose in a Tap Out Match. You must make your opponent tap out to win. Bronson looks intense. Meanwhile, Ambrose comes out and immediately attacks Bronson. Either Bronson is REALLY good at wrestling all of a sudden, or they're shooting right now, because Bronson has been countering any potential submissions by Dean Ambrose to perfection. Bronson is totally legit to me now for the first time. God damn. James Bronson countered the Knee Trembler and nailed a beautiful Exploder Suplex. He misses a roaring elbow and Dean counters it with the Knee Trembler, then locks in the Regal Stretch. Regal then gets up from commentary and walks away. Bronson taps (noooooooo) and then Ambrose goes looking for Regal. He cuts a promo in the back about how Regal just broke his heart and he knows he's all alone now. He says that Regal can't take away his match, meanwhile and.... yeah, this promo is too awesome and fantastic to paraphrase the rest of. I'll post it in the highlights.

Highlights:

Sakamoto vs Mike Dalton -

James Bronson vs Dean Ambrose + Dean Ambrose Promo -

So check out how sweet Sakamoto is. The dude is awesome. And then just check out how surprisingly kick ass James Bronson can be, and then that amazing Dean Ambrose promo.

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I really want to be caught up with FCW guys.

FCW - April 15, 2012

Now we have a commentary team of William Regal, Chris Russo, and JIM ROSS! Holy dooley.

First, Xavier Woods (with dreads), CJ Parker (still bad), & Jason Jordan (still vanilla) come out to the ring, all featuring terrible dubstep theme music. Abraham Washington comes by, being charismatic as hell and talking about how he's the Kingpin of FCW, bringing everyone the best that FCW has to offer, and he introduces Brad Maddox, Jake Carter, & Corey Graves. Man, Corey Graves and Jake Carter look so sublimely grunge together. So it's Xavier Woods, CJ Parker, & Jason Jordan vs Brad Maddox, Jake Carter, & Corey Graves.

Russo: Maybe Abe couldn't cut it as a full time wrestler in the ring. But you didn't hear it from me.
Regal: You'll hear it from me.

lol JR compares Brad Maddox to Eddie Gillbert.

JR: Well, it's not Vader time on this occasion for Jake Carter. (Get it?)

Xavier Woods is tagged into the match, and the firs thing I want to say is "Why is anyone else even wrestling in this match?" Just let Xavier Woods enter the ring and do all of his spots in about two minutes and then end it. Nothing is more entertaining. I don't need this mediocre foreplay. Xavier Woods nails the Lost in the Woods on Jake Carter for the win! Got to say, I didn't expect them to win at all.

Next up is Mike Dalton vs Sakamoto. So you remember when I said "Man, I hope to god that Tyson Kidd goes back to that awesome theme song he used in ECW since it was so awesome?" Well SAKAMOTO HAS IT NOW!



B****es better watch themselves now. If Sakamoto preceded coming out to the ring before Tensai in WWE to this song, nobody would give a f*** about Tensai and would be crapping themselves over how Sakamoto will be killing someone.

Regal: [Discusses what training schools are good to go to]
JR: And make sure that the training school is not located in a mobile home or anything with wheels. Stability is always good, and that's a stable hammerlock by Dalton.

Sakamoto is really good, btw. He hits Dalton with a flurry of palm strikes and then hits some of the strongest chops and slaps ever. Holy s***. Oh my lord. Sakamoto screamed and hit a sick throat that made me cringe upon seeing it. God damn. Booooo Dalton countered another one and nailed a his Impaler DDT for the win. I was pulling for Sakamoto here. Disappointed he didn't win.

Then there's a preview for Adam Mercer. "My name is Adam Mercer. The WWE is all about entertainment. I'm getting ready to change that." Hum. I guess it was pretty good. He's 19 years old and I don't think he'll be that good.

Next up is Raquel Diaz (c) vs Audrey Marie for the FCW Diva's Title. GOD AUDREY IS SO HOT!

Regal: I'm more broken than the Ten Commandments.

Wow, Audrey is full of fire and intense. I like it. It was better than the average Diva's match, but Raquel Diaz sucks and she won with a roll up with the tights.

Jiro vs Big E. Langston is up next. Jiro gonna die. Complete squash. Langston wins with the Big Ending in like, a minute. Boo.

We see the same Bray Wyatt promo again.

Next is Benecio Salazar vs Kassius Ohno.

Russo: And now we get to see the debut of Benecio Salazar! I'm probably doing a bad job of butchering the name.
JR: You're doing a great job of butchering the name.

Well, I don't know who Benecio Salazar is. But research says he is known in Mexico as El Hijo del Medico Asesino or Terror Negro. Not terribly impressed by Benecio, but at least Kassius showed a bit of aggression in this match for a change. He hit the rolling elbow for the win.

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Am I alone in thinking that Chris Hero talks like a lame e-fedder/Youtuber basement dweller though?

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Next is a promo with Husky Harris and his new gimmick as Bray Wyatt along with Eli Cottonwood who stands there menacingly. Not sure why they had him change gimmicks just one week after he lost the titles. He talked about how his daddy sucks and how he ain't no white trash. He's better than everyone and doesn't want anyone to be that first guy who faces him. And then he says that Tiiiiiime is on his siiiiiiiide. Also, I didn't know that about IRS. :( RIP IRS.

They kick out Chris Russo from commentary so we can have William Regal and JIM ROSS on commentary! Oh god yes! It's Richie Steamboat (c) vs Antonio Cesaro for the 15 Championship in a 20 minute Iron Man Match.

[William Regal and Jim Ross catch up on when JR gave him a mic for the first time in WCW 19 years ago]
JR: It certainly doesn't seem that long.
Regal: I know. I've gone through fifteen wives in that time.

JR: And another armdrag takedown by Steamboat. ...Gosh, I can't remember how many times I've said that in my career.

Anyway, Antonio Cesaro gets the first fall with a full body facebuster maneuver called the Gotch Style Neutralizer. It's 0-1 with 13 minutes left. So basically, a lot of good wrestling happens for a long time. At the 4 minute mark, Cesaro starts biding his time and trying to keep Richie out of the ring. Eventually, Steamboat skins the cat and then goes from a headscissors to a schoolboy and pins Cesaro with two minutes left! 1-1. Cesaro is just fantastic, btw. He's losing his mind now. Cesaro nails triple gutwrench suplexes and then tries another pin. Cesaro looks like he's about to win with his pop up European Uppercut.... but then Richie flails out of the ring as time runs out. Oh no! You know what I'm getting tired of? All of these 15 Championship matches ending in a tie in order to make both guys look good. Have one of them win for Christ sake. What's the point in not letting one of these guys get a final pin when they tied the last time even? I dunno. Cesaro knocks out Richie with another uppercut and holds up the 15 Championship.

Highlights:

Seth Rollins Promo -

Kassius Ohno Promo -

Bray Wyatt Promo -

Richie Steamboat vs Antonio Cesaro -

Wowza. Okay. You can see how Seth Rollins is on the mic now. You can see why Kassius Ohno is so indy that it hurts. And then you can see Husky Harris's new gimmick. And then you can see an awesome match between Steamboat and Cesaro.

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FCW - April 8, 2012

William Regal and Chris Russo on commentary again.

We start with Byron Saxton vs Kenneth Cameron. Byron Saxton is just a delight all the time. Oh, and Conor O'Brien is back now, and is ringside for this match! Kenneth Cameron is losing his mind, waiting for the match to start. Byron is telling Kenneth to calm down. lol He gets speared the second the bell rings. lmao Byron is crawling away and trying to grab the apron just to get away. This is rich. Byron starts to gain the upperhand when Conor O'Brien screams and the lights go off. Then... commercials.

...And that's all there is of that I guess.

Next up is Paige & Rick Victor w/ Sofia Cortez vs Audrey Marie (so f***ing hot all the time) & Aiden English (so f***ing English all the time). I know nothing about Paige, but she's very solid. Like, moreso than the usual FCW diva. Rick Victor is showing a lot more personality and flash with his moves. This makes me very happy. lmao Okay, so Sofia gets involved and then Raquel gets involved. The referee does not throw this match and does not try to get either girl out of here. What the f***? Anyway, this was a good match, even with that ridiculousness. And you remember all those Canadian Lifters that Regal was talking about during Victor's last match? Regal does not f*** around in calling these Canadian Lifters. Rick Victor nails one on Aiden English in the corner, pulls him to the center of the ring, then hits a spinning one that looks BRUTAL. He gets the pinfall for his team.

OH GOD THEY GAVE SETH ROLLINS A MIC DUCK AND COVER! Actually, surprisingly not too bad. But his voice annoys me for some reason. It would help if Seth Rollins was anything more than a generic face though. He hypes up Richie Steamboat vs Antonio Cesaro and says either one of them deserves a title shot. "And I'm ready... to take on... the woooooorld." Oh god, he was doing so good until then.

Next is a segment where James Bronson talks to Summer Rae backstage. Summer Rae is terrible. It's a first ever Tap Out match between Bronson and Dean Ambrose. Oh hey, haven't seen Ambrose for a month. At least they remembered Bronson wants to make him tap! Anyway, Summer Rae is like "Did you get my memo? Are you going to make Dean Ambrose tap out? Are you? Are you going to make him tap out?" She's like an annoying little dog. Bronson says "I have a memo for you. I'm going to make Dean Ambrose tap out. And I'm not stopping there." I hope to god that was intentional, because that reply was hilarious. Regal comes in next and Summer says to him in such a whiny voice, "Williaaaam when are you going to face Ambrose? The network is on my baaaack." Oh. My. God. He says he will in due time, but Ambrose is right behind him. Regal tells Ambrose that the best things come to those who wait and walks away singing. Well then.

Now we have a Kassius Ohno promo, in which I can't really take him seriously any longer because he acts like some basement dweller on Youtube. Apparently KASSIUS BASHES and leaves his opponents with GASHES. ...Man. All kinds of awkward pauses here. They will scream OH NO! And he will scream... OH YES! Okay, I was fine with the KO and Ohno parts... but this is getting too corny to take seriously. He needs serious work.

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Sin ain't got no cuts!

Sin ain't got no cuts!

He big!

He strong!

But Sin ain't got no cuts!

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Wow. You know, that makes sense, mostly because Titus didn't actually powerbomb him. That could've been bad.

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So, uh... all traces of the FCW March 25 and April 1 shows is nowhere to be found on the internet. At all. I don't know how this happened. So instead I will summarize spoilers.

FCW - March 25, 2012

Seth Rollins won an 8 man over the top rope battle royal to become the number one contender.

8) Sakamoto
7) Brad Maddox
6) Big E. Langston
5) Mike Dalton
4) Bo Rotundo
3) Jason Jordan
2) Rick Victor
1) Seth Rollins

Richie Steamboat cuts a promo where he says that he was impressed by Cesaro and will let him have a rematch despite him cheating.

Alexander Rusev beat CJ Parker

Antonio Cesaro cuts a promo where he says that the medal should be his and that he accepts the rematch challenge.

Kenneth Cameron beats Mr. Jacked Nick Rogers

Then Seth Rollins beats Leo Kruger for the Florida Heavyweight Championship. ...Damn, I wish I could've seen that.

FCW - April 1, 2012

Seth Rollins cuts a promo that I mercifully missed where he says Mike Dalton and Leo Kruger should face each other to see who should be number one contender.

Leo Kruger wins against Mike Dalton to become number one contender.

Abraham Washington comes out and says that he has signed Corey Graves and Jake Carter, and they will become the new Tag Team Champions.

Cue a match between The Rotundos vs Corey Graves and Jake Carter, in which Abe interferes by smashing Bo Rotundo in the knee with a cane and that allows Corey Graves to lock in his rolling leglock that is very badass. Bo Rtundo taps and Corey Graves & Jake Carter are the new tag champs! Alright! About a month ago, Bo Rotundo was said to have been arrested. I guess that ended up coming back around on him.

LMFAO! Summer Rae tells Raquel Diaz that the Queen of FCW thing isn't working, so she leaves her crown there. XD No more Queen of FCW title, thank god. That was so worthless. Then Antonio Cesaro comes in and is very sweet to Summer, and then she tells him that his match with Richie Steamboat will be 20 minutes long.

Seth Rollins beats Leo Kruger in a rematch for the Florida Heavyweight Championship. He has to hit the Avada Kadavra twice for the win. Cool then. Kinda sad I missed these two shows. But oh well!

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New Creative Has Nothing For You!



Don't buy used diva gear online.

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And then there's the new General Manager of FCW, Summer Rae, there talking with Corey Graves and Jake Carter and saying she's glad they could join her organization. Apparently her midget friend is named Naylor. Maxine comes in and gets all up in Summer's face and says she's not done with her. And then she slaps Naylor and walks out. He whines about it like a b****. So about Jake Carter. He's Vader's son! He's got a punk-like gimmick and I don't know much about him. He isn't fat or anything. He's just... well, a regular dude from the looks of it. We'll see how he does when we see his debut.

And now is our main event: Richie Steamboat (c) vs Antonio Cesaro for the 15 Championship. This match is great. Antonio Cesaro throws Richie into the turnbuckle post and then nails a German Suplex with the bridge for a three count! 0-1 at 11 minutes. Eventually, Cesaro tries going for a top rope Gutwrench Suplex twice! He gets it the second time, but Richie swings out of it and nails a sitout powerbomb on Cesaro for the three count! 1-1 with 3 minutes. Cesaro says he needs a time out. lol He was goading Richie in to hit a dropkick, but Steamboat sidesteps! They both end up doing a long series of attempted quick falls, with Cesaro even cheating to try and get some. Cesaro attacks Richie from behind after it. He takes the 15 Title and kisses it a few times, then turns around right into a super kick from Richie. Hahaha. Great match.

Highlights:

Xavier Woods vs Kassius Ohno -

Richie Steamboat vs Antonio Cesaro -

Well, you should all check out Chris Hero's debut match. And see why Xavier Woods is much better than him at the WWE style at this point. And then Richie Steamboat vs Antonio Cesaro was a great match. Worth checking out.

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FCW - March 18, 2012

We have Chris Russo and William Regal on commentary again.

First up is Dante Dash vs James Bronson. I like Dante Dash because he has a nice swagger to him. He has a weird pose where he makes a rectangle with both of his hands. I don't get it. But he's cool in my book. Bronson comes out in a torn hoodie all MMA style and looks like a complete badass giving Dante a thumbs down as he enters the ring. Both of these guys are doing great. This is a relative squash match though, and Bronson starts screaming "It's not your fault, Dante!" repeatedly as he proceeds to lock in a cobra clutch with a body scissors to win. Bronson's a bit nuts.

Leo Kruger gets the mic again, unfortunately. He is so bad on the mic. Basically, he said Dalton's win was a fluke, he's champion again, and he's the WOCKING TOCKING LIVING BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREATHING MAIN EVENT AND FLO-RY-DA HEAVYWEIGHT CHUMPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON. He's bad on the mic.

Anyway, next up is Kaitlyn & Audrey (so f***ing hot) vs Paige & Sofia Cortez. Paige's theme is actually really kick ass. Grunge-y. And just so you guys know what Paige looks like, here:



Yeah, not the prettiest, but still. Paige is insane though. Screaming at the ref and just being vicious. Woah, Paige locks in some kind of inverted Sharpshooter where she's standing facing the opponent and cranking on the pressure to her legs. And then the uses one arm to life Audrey Marie off the mat and stretch her while still keeping the leg lock applied. Wowza. Audrey gets the hot tag, and Kaitlyn comes in to clean house. She then hits a Bubba Bomb on Paige and locks in that submission where she sits back and locks her opponent's arms with her legs. I dunno what it's called, but Paige taps to it. After the match, Paige and Sofia attack Audrey and Kaitlyn. Caylee Turner then comes in and gets involved. And then Raquel gets involved. And then the faces pull it off.

Next is a backstage segment where the little midget guy that hangs around Summer Rae talks to a very English (like, very very English) guy called... Aiden English. James Bronson then comes by, grabbing the midget by the lapel and says that this is his fault and that he'll pay. Then he shoves Aiden away when he tries to interfere.



See? Incredibly English.

Next up is Xavier Woods (wearing sparkling blue tights) vs Kassius Ohno. Oh no! Basically, it's a very good match. Want to know why? Because of Xavier Woods, not because of Kassius Ohno. Honestly, I'm not impressed by Chris Hero here. I think he needs a lot of work to really do well with the WWE style. He's just horribly vanilla at this point and not that interesting to watch right now. Xavier Woods is always a classic though. Anyway, the match ends with a surprise elbow strike from Kassius knocks Xavier out, letting Ohno get the three count. I'll make this one of the highlights, if only to verify if I'm right about this or not.

God damnit, they gave Raquel Diaz a mic again. She's not entertaining, she's not an effective heel, she's just an annoying, untalented b**** who can't act. She's so stupid. Everything she says is terrible. She talks s*** on Audrey Marie, and Audrey ambushes her and attacks her. They fight until referees split them up.

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This DeathChicken guy.

He's the best guy.

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From: Jakyl25 | #085
You do realize what company they're the developmental territory for, right? <_<

I knooooow. But still, it was so good before when they actually had tag teams tearing it up earlier last year. Now it's been less awesome with these random team ups.

KIND OF LIKE HOW WWE GETS!

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And hey, lookit that. It's Chris Hero aka Kassius Ohno! He isn't the best on the mic. He says that he won't be in FCW for long (welp) and that he loves to concuss with his elbows and knock out with his feet. He says anyone can win with a lucky submission or end a match with a quick roll up, but it takes a man with real power to knock another man out. So next week, the FCW Universe will be saying "It's Kassius.... Oh no." GET IT? Eh, it was a pretty good promo. I guess I expected more?

Steve Keirn is coming out to the ring with Norman Smiley. Steve Keirn asks Maxine to come out, who is always hot as hell. Keirn says that Maxine getting everyone to go talk to Dr. James Bronson for a psych evaluation was dumb and an invasion of privacy, but Maxine says that she was told to do that by the higher ups. So Maxine has to give back all of the notes that Bronson had taken. Keirn has something else to say, but Norman Smiley wants to say it instead. He says "You're fired! So you can leave!" and then he does the Big Wiggle. Maxine doesn't seem too upset. I'm actually okay with this since she's on NXT getting plenty of time and they should move on past her and set up something else. Curious to see who gets put in the GM spot next.

Anyway, next up is Mike Dalton (c) vs Leo Kruger for the Florida Heavyweight Championship. Regal talks about how Leo Kruger was trained by the great Donny Grits. No idea who that is, and he doesn't even have a Wikipedia page. Regal, however, states that he's the best wrestler he's ever seen and doesn't know why he never made it to the states. Interesting. It's a very good match that ends when Leo Kruger locks on two Rear Naked Chokes to knock out Mike Dalton. Leo Kruger is our new Florida Heavyweight Champion... again. That's a slight bummer. Why do that to poor Dalton?

Highlights:

Kassius Ohno (Chris Hero) Promo -

Mike Dalton vs Leo Kruger -

Not the best show, but we still had a Kassius Ohno debut promo and then another Mike Dalton vs Leo Kruger match. So check it.

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FCW - March 11, 2012

I should probably make mention that they play a HYPE video every week before the show that recaps something very important for their main event. For instance, Mike Dalton won the Florida Heavyweight Title last week, so they hyped it up. Expect Mike Dalton in your main event.

Oh damnit, we only get Chris Russo and William Regal this week. Chris Russo is wearing a bow tie and glasses, so he's even more punchable. First up is Big E. Langston & Alexander Rusev vs CJ Parker & Jason Jordan.

Alright, soap box time. FCW absolutely SUCKS with tag teams. I do not understand it. They NEVER have any tag teams stick together unless they win the titles, and I don't get it. Big E. Langston was tag team partners with Nick Rogers. And even though Rogers sucked, they were a team that made some sense. CJ Parker used to team with Donny Marlow, but he went to WWE as Camacho, so now he's just teaming with Jason Jordan. Corey Graves was supposed to team with Eli Cottonwood, but then they through that out so he could team with... I don't even remember who, it's that bad. FCW needs to stick with their tag teams and roll with it. Oh, and take the titles off Bo Rotundo and Husky Harris. They don't need it. You have too many people in developmental right now. Stick with some tag teams, for the love of god.

ANYWAY, Regal talks about how Rusev would wrestle bulls. How badass of him. lmao Chris Russo saying that Big E. Langston of all people has good tips and advice for Alexander Rusev. However, Langston and Rusev are actually a good team, surprisingly. They keep putting over Rusev as one of the most badass men to live. I love this. It's funny. There is nothing positive about CJ Parker and all they've said about Jordan is "This guy was an amateur wrestler." Jason Jordan has a really nice dropkick. I will not say anything positive about CJ Parker though. Rusev nails a very nice spinning side slam on CJ, but then he goes to the middle rope and attempts a splash. Whyyyy? Then it ends with a roll up from CJ onto Rusev. Whyyyyyyy? I don't get this.

Kenneth Cameron vs Byron Saxton. Oh, that's why we don't have Saxton commentary! Kenneth Cameron had more dark shenanigans with his sweet ass entrance, btw. Wait, Saxton still has a sling on and has a mic, looking very sad. He is very sorry and was informed that his shoulder has not completely healed and he can't compete tonight! He said that he is upset like Cameron is because he really wanted to compete! So he found a suitable replacement for Kenneth Cameron to make it up to him... Colin Cassady. XD Oh god, not this giant jobber. ...Oh my god, he dyed his hard lighter and gave himself baby blue trunks. Jesus f***ing Christ, I want him dead now.

Kenneth Cameron vs Colin Cassady. Cassady has actually improved a bit. But only a little bit. Towards the end of the match, Saxton got on the apron and took off his sling, then he smashed Kenneth in the back of the head with his bad arm. Colin then nailed Kenneth with a big boot for the win. Well, there goes Kenneth Cameron having the longest winning streak in FCW!

Next is Sofia Cortes vs Audrey Marie. OMG AUDREY SO HOT. Anyway, Diva's match. It ends when Audrey nails a nice looking Spinning Side Slam (hey, I saw this before) and picks up the win. After the match, Raquel Diaz comes out with Paige (who, I should have mentioned, Regal refers to as "That enchanting raven haired lady each time she's around). Sofia grabs Audrey's legs and they beat up Audrey for a while until Kaitlyn comes in for the save.

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Batista deserved a re-match for breathing.

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Sorry, I forgot this topic wasn't already marked for spoilers.

Spoilers in edited post.

(junk funk is wrong)

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"That's nice.

Where's my re-match?"

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I'm waiting to see what balance changes they do before I return it. I don't know if I'll get back into it though.

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Yeah, I think this game is done. I hope Capcom learned a lot from what not to do from it.

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I have a strong urge to re-watch The Avengers too.

I think I consider it the best action movie. It's just that incredible.

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From: Jakyl25 | #057
Zack Ryder @ZackRyder
Who's the hottest girl following me? Prove it!

Brilliant use of internet celebrity status.

Not until you look at the two girls who replied to him with a pic.

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FORSOOTHE!

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No spoilers.

Just a statement of quality.

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~PWInsider

After a few readers have sent word that Goldust/Dustin Rhodes' file has been moved to the Alumni section of WWE.com, we have confirmed that the company has released him from his producer position in the past week. From what we were told, something happened at the Smackdown taping two weeks ago that led to the release.

That's a shame.

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