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Current Events > Holy shit my dad got me a book of Dad jokes for my birthday.

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/12/24 9:32:58 AM
#1:


ITT: One a day until I run out.

Day 1:

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

2/10, this one's not very funny.

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__starsnostars
04/12/24 9:39:22 AM
#2:


Was that the opening joke in the book?

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/12/24 9:39:53 AM
#3:


__starsnostars posted...
Was that the opening joke in the book?
Yep.

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__starsnostars
04/12/24 9:43:01 AM
#4:


Re-gift the book back to him on Father's day.

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DarkFists
04/12/24 9:45:48 AM
#5:


Tagging, this should be fun

Also, I think you're legally required to become a dad when you get through the whole book...

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TheSavageDragon
04/12/24 9:51:57 AM
#6:


DarkFists posted...
Also, I think you're legally required to become a dad when you get through the whole book...

Think I saw them mentioning having a 2 year old in another topic
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DarkFists
04/12/24 9:53:10 AM
#7:


TheSavageDragon posted...
Think I saw them mentioning having a 2 year old in another topic
Oh, that explains the gift then, gotta get working on those dad jokes asap

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/13/24 11:14:57 AM
#8:


Day 2:

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

Because it was two-tired!

10/10, this one's a classic I have always loved.

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BCAM1984
04/13/24 12:10:31 PM
#9:


__starsnostars posted...
Re-gift the book back to him on Father's day.
Lol

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TomClark
04/13/24 12:13:27 PM
#10:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 2:

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

Because it was two-tired!

10/10, this one's a classic I have always loved.

Outstanding set-up, flawless delivery. Comedy classic.

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#11
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ThatGeminiGuy
04/13/24 12:31:21 PM
#12:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Aht! Aht! Aht!

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evilpresident
04/13/24 12:37:31 PM
#13:


I enjoy

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IfGodCouldDie
04/13/24 12:38:37 PM
#14:


Tag.

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/14/24 2:07:53 PM
#15:


Day 3:

What do computers eat for a snack?

Microchips

3/10. Better than the rubber toe one, at least.

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#16
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Kradek
04/14/24 2:18:21 PM
#17:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Yep.

Oof, weak opening

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AldousIsDead
04/14/24 3:02:20 PM
#18:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 3:

What do computers eat for a snack?

Microchips

3/10. Better than the rubber toe one, at least.
Disagree. Rubber toe has been the best so far.

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Rosstin316
04/14/24 3:16:38 PM
#19:


This is the content I want on my Current Events board.

Tag.

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Rosstin316
04/14/24 3:17:37 PM
#20:


Roberto was terrible (they OPENED with that?!), Two-tired was epic, microchips was decent.

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#21
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RetuenOfDevsman
04/15/24 9:38:04 AM
#22:


Sorry I was running behind this morning. I'll have to post it when I get home.

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Bishop_Hastur
04/15/24 10:14:19 AM
#23:


They've all been good so far.

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/15/24 11:34:28 PM
#24:


Ok, day 4.

What's the best thing about Switzerland l?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

Another 10/10, did not see that one coming.

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#25
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#26
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emblem-man
04/15/24 11:39:34 PM
#27:


Tag

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haters gonna hate
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RetuenOfDevsman
04/16/24 11:29:00 AM
#28:


Day 5:

Why do humming birds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

5/10, mildly amusing but nothing special.

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Serious_Cat
04/16/24 11:41:46 AM
#29:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
ITT: One a day until I run out.

Day 1:

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

2/10, this one's not very funny.
It's not funny but I admire the nerve to use it as the opener.

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SiO4
04/16/24 11:44:51 AM
#30:


Hehe, your Dad sounds pretty cool!!
You can tell him I said that.

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SiO4
04/16/24 11:47:00 AM
#31:


__starsnostars posted...
Was that the opening joke in the book?
__starsnostars posted...
Was that the opening joke in the book?


RetuenOfDevsman posted...

Yep.


You should have, Yes

....It was the first step.

Has your Father taught you nothing?

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/17/24 7:09:27 PM
#32:


Day 6:

If a child is refusing to take a nap, is he...

resisting a rest?

7/10, at least worth a chuckle.

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TheSavageDragon
04/17/24 8:00:47 PM
#33:


Day 6 has been my fav so far
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Revelation34
04/18/24 7:03:54 AM
#34:


In a koi pond there is usually one our of four koi that are fake.

They are usually tagged as A, B, C and the D koi.

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#35
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TomClark
04/18/24 12:45:57 PM
#36:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 6:

If a child is refusing to take a nap, is he...

resisting a rest?

7/10, at least worth a chuckle.

That's at least a 9.

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DarthDemented
04/18/24 12:46:59 PM
#37:


My son and GF got me one of those for Father's Day last year

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/18/24 7:30:39 PM
#38:


Day 7:

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta way

9/10, you have to emulate the right accent in your head to make it work but it's pretty stinking funny anyway.

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Sufferedphoenix
04/18/24 11:41:13 PM
#39:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 7:

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta way

9/10, you have to emulate the right accent in your head to make it work but it's pretty stinking funny anyway.
There was a family feud episode and had a foreign family. The question was something like what would be horrible to be missing at a wedding. Apparently Steve had already told them food isn't at a wedding it's at the reception after.

Anyways sounds like dude is saying pasta and Steve is upset having to repeat himself but he was actually saying pastor.

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Revelation34
04/18/24 11:43:10 PM
#40:


Sufferedphoenix posted...

There was a family feud episode and had a foreign family. The question was something like what would be horrible to be missing at a wedding. Apparently Steve had already told them food isn't at a wedding it's at the reception after.

Anyways sounds like dude is saying pasta and Steve is upset having to repeat himself but he was actually saying pastor.


I'm going to watch that clip after work.

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[deleted]
04/19/24 5:02:33 PM
#42:


[deleted]
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RetuenOfDevsman
04/19/24 7:47:23 PM
#41:


Day 8:

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

7/10, I kinda like the pun but gross humor is not really my thing personally.

Actually, make that an 8/10, there was a whole nother level to it that I completely missed at first. It's dancing because you blew your nose! Sorry, I'm slow sometimes.

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Bishop_Hastur
04/19/24 7:50:20 PM
#43:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 8:

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

7/10, I kinda like the pun but gross humor is not really my thing personally.
A classic from grade school.

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Revelation34
04/20/24 5:58:16 AM
#44:


What do you call the leader of a medical team?

The team bleed

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deoxxys
04/20/24 6:05:07 AM
#45:


Are you a dad

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TheSavageDragon
04/20/24 6:09:31 AM
#46:


deoxxys posted...
Are you a dad

TheSavageDragon posted...
Think I saw them mentioning having a 2 year old in another topic

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dummy420
04/20/24 7:05:22 AM
#47:


As a soon to be dad I'm tracking this as homework. Also Roberto was a great opener. Even made some of you cringe which is part of the dad joke standards and practices as I've been told.

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008Zulu
04/20/24 7:34:37 AM
#48:


__starsnostars posted...
Was that the opening joke in the book?
The opening joke in every dad joke book is a mirror.

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Frosted_Midna
04/20/24 7:41:15 AM
#49:


tag

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RetuenOfDevsman
04/20/24 11:49:58 AM
#50:


deoxxys posted...
Are you a dad
Eh. I'm pretty bad at it but yeah.

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