Poll of the Day > Getting my fucking tubes tied

(+) Yeah! (+)

Fuck the government

My consultation on April 30 cannot come fast enough

My wife had to fight with her doctor for years before they let her get her's tied.

rjsilverthorn posted...

My wife had to fight with her doctor for years before they let her get her's tied.

Yeah that's definitely the experience. I don't think it'll be the same here now with what just happened. Last year I had a lead on a surgeon that would perform it for me but I decided against it at that time. I hope this provider doesn't give me any BS

Jen0125 posted...

I don't think it'll be the same here now with what just happened.

I'm not necessarily so optimistic. What's happened will spike demand, certainly, but the attitude of "women should want kids and therefore any woman asking to be sterilized will probably change their mind" is a little too entrenched to go away so quickly. Hopefully it does go well for you, though.

Yeah we'll see what happens. I've made an appointment with two different providers just to be safe but the intake specialist didn't seem phased by my request at all. I want to be optimistic so I don't go insane.

Sounds tubular.

Jen0125 posted...

I want to be optimistic so I don't go insane.

That's as good a reason as any to be optimistic. I'm sure you'll get it done eventually, now that you've definitively decided you want it. It's just a question of how many needless hoops you have to jump through to make it happen.

adjl posted...

That's as good a reason as any to be optimistic. I'm sure you'll get it done eventually, now that you've definitively decided you want it. It's just a question of how many needless hoops you have to jump through to make it happen.

No hoops with insurance at least. They cover voluntary sterilization for me at 100%, no copay, no deductible. I couldn't believe it when they told me.

I guess they're banking on hardly anyone being able to get it done. That, or they didn't realize you were white, but we'll go with the slightly less cynical interpretation.

adjl posted...

I guess they're banking on hardly anyone being able to get it done. That, or they didn't realize you were white, but we'll go with the slightly less cynical interpretation.

I think my insurance might just have really good family planning coverage. Vasectomy is 100% covered as well as hyserectomies.

I thought this going to be another pool innuendo lol. Hope all goes well

SilentSeph posted...

I thought this going to be another pool innuendo lol. Hope all goes well

Lmao I can see how you'd think that

adjl posted...

I guess they're banking on hardly anyone being able to get it done. That, or they didn't realize you were white, but we'll go with the slightly less cynical interpretation.

The correct answer is still cynical, it is cheaper for them than paying for pregnancy related care.

rjsilverthorn posted...

The correct answer is still cynical, it is cheaper for them than paying for pregnancy related care.

True. Pregnancies ain't cheap. It's why I always have to laugh at the people who are like "get abortions if you want, but don't make me pay for them!" as though an abortion isn't an order of magnitude or two cheaper than going through with a pregnancy (to say nothing of the costs of actually raising a kid).

i read this as getting my tubes fucked lol

I'm probably gonna do the same eventually due to recent events but I'm still too chicken shit...

ZayKayWill posted...

I'm probably gonna do the same eventually due to recent events but I'm still too chicken shit...

I'm not. I've been considering this for like a decade. I don't prefer to be pushed by the government but that's the times we live in.

Jen0125 posted...

I'm not. I've been considering this for like a decade. I don't prefer to be pushed by the government but that's the times we live in.

You get to go under anesthesia though, right? So that makes it a little easier on your end. Us men don't get that since a vasectomy is so quick and easy, apparently...

ZayKayWill posted...

You get to go under anesthesia though, right? So that makes it a little easier on your end. Us men don't get that since a vasectomy is so quick and easy, apparently...

It is lol. This is a laproscopic surgery. Women always have more sexual consequences and pain then men so I don't really have sympathy or empathy. Vasectomy is like less than one day down time with no complications. It's an outpatient procedure. Women have to do laproscopic surgery and sometimes remove an entire organ.

If I were you, I wouldn't be scared or nervous to get a vasectomy at all because it truly is a routine, simple procedure. So is tubal ligation in many ways because laproscopic surgery isn't as bad as traditional surgery.

If you truly don't want kids I wish you the best.

I don't want kids either. I just don't fuck women but I got the advantage of being bi so

Look doc, abortions or tubes... pick one

Sufferedphoenix posted...

If you truly don't want kids I wish you the best.

I don't want kids either. I just don't fuck women but I got the advantage of being bi so

I wish I was bi

Sufferedphoenix posted...

If you truly don't want kids I wish you the best.

I don't want kids either. I just don't fuck women but I got the advantage of being bi so

Why not?

Jen0125 posted...

Women always have more sexual consequences and pain then men

I really wish there were more male-centric forms of non-permanent birth control. Condoms are too unreliable for exclusive use, and vasectomies are too permanent (they are reversible, but that's expensive, has a considerable failure chance, and the failure chance increases the longer you wait), and that's literally it for male options. For every option that's suitable for couples that want to avoid kids for now but might want them later, it's the woman that has to bear the cost, maintenance, and side effects, and that's just not fair.

I liked the idea of that Vasalgel stuff that was in development like a decade ago, but I don't think that's borne out, which is bothersome.

ZayKayWill posted...

Us men don't get that since a vasectomy is so quick and easy, apparently...

I don't have any personal experience with it, but my understanding is that the worst part of the procedure is that you can smell the vas deferens being cauterized and that's a little unnerving. You'd be under local anaesthetic, so there's little to no pain and all you really feel is a bit of a tug. The incision might hurt for a couple days, but as far as surgical procedures go it's extremely minor. You've probably had less pleasant dental cleanings.

All the medical male birth control options keep getting shut down because they have side effects... That are completely similar to the side effects of female birth control. But it's okay for women to suffer constantly. That's fine.

I'm not sure why there's no temporary medical device for men like an IUD for their balls yet

Jen0125 posted...

All the medical male birth control options keep getting shut down because they have side effects... That are completely similar to the side effects of female birth control. But it's okay for women to suffer constantly. That's fine.

Yep. "Male hormonal birth control pills shut down due to causing weight gain, mood swings, and acne" as though those exact side effects aren't extremely common for every female birth control pill currently on the market. They're obviously not pleasant, and it would be ideal for men to avoid them, but not when that means putting all the onus on women to endure them.

Jen0125 posted...

I'm not sure why there's no temporary medical device for men like an IUD for their balls yet

That's kind of what vasalgel was supposed to be: A gel that gets injected into the vas deferens and kills sperm that try to pass through it, stays in place for many years, and can be dissolved when desired to restore normal fertility within a couple days. From what I could tell, it was comparable to an IUD in effectiveness and had very few side effects, so it seemed like a no-brainer, but it seems to have fizzled out. I should see what happened.

Heck, if anything, given the number of misogynists that are paranoid about women trying to trap them with babies by skipping their pills or turkey bastering a condom or whatever, I'm surprised there isn't more pressure to give men more control over the process. There's so much "I don't trust women to use birth control properly," but none of that seems to translate into "I want power over the birth control in my relationships."

ZayKayWill posted...

Why not?

Why not what

Sufferedphoenix posted...

Why not what

Why do you not have sex with women despite the fact that you're bisexual?

adjl posted...

I should see what happened.

Apparently a company just picked up the patent in 2023 and is looking to bring it to market as 'Plan A For Men' https://www.axios.com/2024/01/17/male-birth-control-plan-a

rjsilverthorn posted...

Apparently a company just picked up the patent in 2023 and is looking to bring it to market as 'Plan A For Men' https://www.axios.com/2024/01/17/male-birth-control-plan-a

The last I was looking, I think a couple different companies had picked up and dropped the idea. I'm wondering if it's just not cost-effective to bring it to market, given the relatively low treatment frequency and the fact that I'm guessing most insurances won't cover it right away (leading couples to choose options that are covered/cheaper). Hopefully this one pans out; I'd rather my girlfriend didn't have to keep getting IUDs.

I'm more worried about my next IUD insertion that this laproscopic surgery. The insertion is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life and I'm on my third one. They really should insert them with local anesthetic. But again, women are made to suffer.

Got the snip last Tuesday, was very easy and only took 2 months from when i first got the referral.

I think my girlfriend had some anaesthetic for her IUD. It was still really uncomfortable and the IUD has caused long-term problems with cramps that she didn't have before, plus of course getting a needle stuck in your cervix to administer the anaesthetic isn't exactly a picnic to begin with, but she wasn't entirely without some efforts to make it more comfortable than "hold still while we play darts in your hoohah."

They literally didn't even use numbing cream for my last insertion. I was there on 800mg of ibuprofen and clenched fists/jaw.

My gf had the worst damn time trying to get her done in ND. It's crazy how resistant doctors are to letting women do it.

Good

rjsilverthorn posted...

My wife had to fight with her doctor for years before they let her get her's tied.

damn why was the doctor fighting it? I know it's a serious decision because once it happens, you cannot go back, but if the person is sane and knows what will happen, then let them do it. what state was this in? just asking because I have a friend who was able to get her tubes tied, and she is only in her mid 20s. she lives in california.

magemaximus posted...

damn why was the doctor fighting it? I know it's a serious decision because once it happens, you cannot go back, but if the person is sane and knows what will happen, then let them do it. what state was this in? just asking because I have a friend who was able to get her tubes tied, and she is only in her mid 20s. she lives in california.

It's all states. It really depends on the provider and how they want to decide your future for you.

magemaximus posted...

damn why was the doctor fighting it?

Part of it's paranoia over getting sued if the woman changes her mind later, but it's mostly just the attitude that all women should want kids and that anyone who says they won't will likely end up changing their mind later, so the doctor believes they're doing the woman a favour by refusing to do it. It's a very sexist, paternalistic way to practice medicine, but it's still very common.

adjl posted...

Part of it's paranoia over getting sued if the woman changes her mind later, but it's mostly just the attitude that all women should want kids and that anyone who says they won't will likely end up changing their mind later, so the doctor believes they're doing the woman a favour by refusing to do it. It's a very sexist, paternalistic way to practice medicine, but it's still very common.

When my wife was trying to get her's done it was before we were married or even engaged and they kept trying to convince her I should get a vasectomy instead since it is more easily reversible. She was like 'He can get one if he wants but it doesn't change the fact that I want my tubes tied."

Good luck! It's not fair to give you and others a hard time for wanting birth control. Society is sexist.

6 days to go!