Current Events > Why do some people have an aversion to saying "sorry" but...

(+) Yeah! (+)

but "I apologize" is okay?
I never understood it. If you're going to apologize, you might as well say you're sorry. Is this a matter of self preservation? Do they think saying sorry makes them look weaker than saying "I apologize?"

Apologizing doesn't mean someone is really sorry.

Like "here i handed my apology letter, but I don't feel sorry about it"

Assuming there is an actual aversion "sorry" implies emotionally accepting that you did something wrong, "apologize" means that you accept that the other person has felt wronged in some way and that you understand that fact.

"I apologize" = "I know you're upset because of something I did."
"I'm sorry" = "I know you're upset because I fucked up."

One takes personal responsibility and shows intention to be better next time. The other simply acknowledges the situation but doesn't plan on doing anything differently next time.

Aristoph posted...

"I apologize" = "I know you're upset because of something I did."
"I'm sorry" = "I know you're upset because I fucked up."

One takes personal responsibility and shows intention to be better next time. The other simply acknowledges the situation but doesn't plan on doing anything differently next time.

That's dumb. So if someone says they apologize, I could respond back by saying, "I guess you're not truly sorry then huh? Well F*** you too."

I think this is overthinking it. A lot of people do mean they are sorry when they apologize. Look at how they say it (tone), the overall context, and the actions after.

I usually say "I apologize" if I cause a minor inconvenience and "I'm sorry" if I make a big fucky

TodorokiHayato posted...

That's dumb. So if someone says they apologize, I could respond back by saying, "I guess you're not truly sorry then huh? Well F*** you too."

It's only really relevant if they have an actual aversion. Just because says it once in a while (or uses other variations like "apologies") doesn't mean that you should take it that way. It's moreso relevant when they actively do not say "sorry" that it's a problem. At that point it is a highlight that they don't give a crap about others due to the fact that they actively avoid using language that is emotionally charged. It's sort of like how someone who uses "female" to refer to women once isn't suspect, but if someone only refers to women as females then they probably have something up incel-wise.

Arcanine2009 posted...

I think this overthinking it. a lot of people do mean they are sorry when they apologize. Look at how they say it (tone), the overall context, and the actions after.

This. I'd say the average person doesn't differentiate the two at all. More than likely if they say they apologize, they're saying "I'm sorry"

Aristoph posted...

"I apologize" = "I know you're upset because of something I did."
"I'm sorry" = "I know you're upset because I fucked up."

One takes personal responsibility and shows intention to be better next time. The other simply acknowledges the situation but doesn't plan on doing anything differently next time.

Thats not true at all. I apologise and Im sorry are more or less interchangeable. The only thing it changes is the level of formality.

For me: I'm sorry = When that's the expected thing to say. "I'm sorry for your loss", "I'm sorry to hear that", anything that is appropriate for a genuine "I feel bad for you/about something that is out of my control that has impacted you."

I Apologize/My Apologies = Something I've done has upset you when I did not intend for it to do so.

Now, the exception to this for me is when dealing with my wife. I'll use "I'm sorry" exclusively with her because I actually care about her and know that those words mean a lot more to her than they do to me. I don't tend to have an emotional care for most other people outside of her, so they can take what I say at face value or not, I don't care.

Frankly I always felt like "I apologize" had more meaning behind it, if anything. "Sorry" became sorta a meme over time, like "sorry, not sorry." But either way I'd say they mean the same thing to most people and there's no hidden meaning or anything

Im sorry and I apologize generally mean the same thing

Except at a funeral