Poll of the Day > How did Jesus find people named Mark, Matthew, Michael and Paul in the Midl East

(+) Yeah! (+)

Whoah

I think they are Hebrew names (or at least those are the English variants of the Hebrew names), except for Paul which is a Latin (I guess Roman) name.

also, why can't I find Palestine on Google Maps?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


they don't even get their own country name?

But in the Latin alphabet Jehovah begins with an "I"

god teleports white people in when he decides stuff is gonna happen.

The real miracle is that Jesus had 12 close friends in his 30s

faramir77 posted...

The real miracle is that Jesus had 12 close friends in his 30s

Didn't end very well for him though

there's always that one friend. :(

Jesus' name wouldn't have actually been Jesus either, remember that the Gospels were first written in Greek.

faramir77 posted...

The real miracle is that Jesus had 12 close friends in his 30s

Weren't most of the disciples still children?

Nade_Duck posted...

god teleports white people in when he decides stuff is gonna happen.

It's actually just the default setting in his character creator

FYI Jesus in the Bible never met Paul who joined the apostles after the crucifixion and Michael who is an Archangel.

Right, and Paul is likely the anti-christ

Lokarin posted...

How did Jesus find people named Mark, Matthew, Michael and Paul in the Middle East?

Because...

synth_real posted...

Jesus' name wouldn't have actually been Jesus either, remember that the Gospels were first written in Greek.

Yeshua ben Yosef wouldn't have known anyone named Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. He would (probably) have known Matityahu, Marcus, Lucas (or Lucius), and Yohanan.

Matthew and Johnathan are just modernized spellings of names that were originally Hebrew. Pass the original names through a filter of Greek to Latin to English and you get the current versions. Those names wouldn't exist at all today if not for the Jews.

Meanwhile, keep in mind that Judea was under Roman control at the time - so Greek and Roman influence was certainly present in any number of Jewish cities and towns. Which is where Mark and Luke come from - both would have been extremely common Roman names of the era (in the form of their original Latin versions), and there could easily have been Jews with those names at the time. It's also entirely possible that their names weren't Marcus or Lucius, but some other Hebrew name that latter got mistranslated into something closer to what Greeks and Roman's were already familiar with.

In the same vein, it's also possible that Matthew and John didn't have Hebrew names either - they could also have had Greek or Roman-style names (which would have made them Matthias and Iohannes instead).

As for Paul, his name wasn't actually Paul, and he wasn't really a disciple. It's right there in the book that his name was Saul (a very Jewish name) and he just changed his name later (ironically, probably just to sound less Jewish, and/or to cover up his own sordid past). Even more ironically, he wasn't even born/raised in a Jewish city (Tarsus was heavily Greek-influenced in that era), so he probably grew up knowing tons of Jews who had non-Jewish sounding names.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/6/0/AAFUswAAE7ZU.jpg

Metalsonic66 posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/6/0/AAFUswAAE7ZU.jpg

Peter's even worse - it just means "stone" in Greek.

It's not Peter's real name, that was Simon. Jesus renamed him (giving him a name in Hebrew that meant "stone"). But because the entire point of the name was that it meant "stone", the Greek writers of the New Testament just called him "stone" in their language rather than attempting to use the actual Hebrew name (which was Kefa).

Peter "The Rock" Johnstone

ParanoidObsessive posted...

Matityahu

i'm almost certainly reading this wrong and i 100% do not care.

Mah TIT! Yahoo!

1600 remake.

ParanoidObsessive posted...

Matityahu

When someone gives Mario a titty twister

ratix04 posted...

FYI Jesus in the Bible never met Paul who joined the apostles after the crucifixion and Michael who is an Archangel.

How would Jesus not meet an angel if they're both in heaven?

Revelation34 posted...

How would Jesus not meet an angel if they're both in heaven?

I meant while he was on earth in human form.

Maybe they were white colonizers.

Blightzkrieg posted...

Maybe they were white colonizers.

Based on every painting from the Middle Ages Jesus was white, so that would make sense.

Based on the name Jesus was the token mexican guy, but likely of a lighter complexion. Definitely the Selena Gomez of his time.

ParanoidObsessive posted...

Based on every painting from the Middle Ages Jesus was white, so that would make sense.

Yeah, I find it ironic that most people that 'praise Jesus' are the same people that would likely call the cops on him if they saw him walking around their neighborhoods today.

faramir77 posted...

The real miracle is that Jesus had 12 close friends in his 30s

Not sure how close they were. One betrayed him. Another denounced him the next morning. After his death two of them walked with him and talked about the times they shared without realizing it was him. Some of them were probably hanging out just because he could turn water into wine, had an endless supply of fish, sometimes when he catches a fish it has money, things like that.

ya, but he was always out of figs

The Apostles were a bunch of frat Bois

Lokarin posted...

ya, but he was always out of figs

Figs suck compared to wine

SKARDAVNELNATE posted...

Some of them were probably hanging out just because he could turn water into wine, had an endless supply of fish

Recipe tips on how to feed 5,000 dinner guests with cod in breadcrumbs.

I don't know what kind of names they used in the middle east back at that time, but they aren't likely the kind of names they use now. Those names may have been common back then in that whole area. You need to remember that some religions didn't exist yet.