Poll of the Day > I just moved into my new apartment, and only now do I realize how helpless I am.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Suddenly, I'm met with a host of new challenges with managing an apartment. Since I'm the first new tenant, I've had to buy everything that I usually take for granted: trash bins, shower curtains, beds, and less commonly for people for my income level, sofas. The moving process has been complicated by my OCD-levels of obsession with cleanliness. The first thing I thought to do was to buy cleaning supplies. But in my carelessness and eagerness to sanitize the apartment, I used a cleaning spray that was a bit too harsh, and now my eye stings whenever I come into contact with everything I used it on. Thankfully, I've used it only on the wheels on my luggage, a spot on my counter because I was afraid that the spray would be too harsh, and unfortunately, my car. Now, I've had to use baking soda to strip away the offensive odors and residue. The situation is particularly bad, especially for my car. I may have used a bit too much baking soda to absorb the chemicals, and now it looks like I'm keeping a fine layer of snow in my backseat. Now, I don't feel comfortable transporting things I'll be using to eat and prepare food, like bowls, chopsticks, and rice dispensers. Overall, I feel that I need another day-off to put my affairs in order. After moving out, I realized that I took other people's company for granted, too. It's just me in this apartment. And aside from needing help getting everything set up, I'm feeling more lonely. I know I've spoken of it many times before. But it isn't until now that I feel like I need other people in my life. Unfortunately, I wasn't very kind to those people who are already in my life. I have been quick to shun my co-workers and everyone else at my workplace out of either shyness, social anxiety, or just being too tired to engage in social activity. I'll have to mop up the place with water, because I'm a poor sweeper, and there are still remnants of baking soda everywhere. I also have to return a package to Amazon. One thing I am noticing about myself recently is that I don't have nearly as much time to mess around at home than I used to. I think it's due to the stress of all the logistics of moving-in, which is hampered majorly by my obsession over what's clean, what isn't, how clean something is, what touched what, and other things that likely have no basis in reality. It's just so hard for me to manage. Before, in my living space, I didn't really have much to manage; it was usually my landlords, whom I also took for granted, who took care of that for me. Now I realize that I took them for granted also. Anyway, sorry for the lack of organization in this post. But I just don't have enough time or energy to even get my thoughts straight; they're always clouded by worries and the recent stresses of moving in.

Oh yeah, and I've had a spot of bad luck at work socially. It seems that no one there really likes me. I don't blame them, since, as I've said earlier, I make it a point to shun and emotionally neglect anyone I come into contact with. All the same, though, I just don't like it. I always tell myself that if they hate me, it's fine. But lately, I've come to question how true that really is. Some other team makes a habit of trying to mock me somehow by acting like they're English. Others have come to mock me in other ways, such as clearing their throats whenever I'm around, since they know that I am very annoyed whenever a high-tier manager on the floor does it. In my own team, there was this bloke who expressed his hate for me by mockingly repeating thoughts that he thinks I have. Many people around me seem to get sick of me. The new-hire has conversed with the other group about how she hates me. I could have sworn a veteran co-worker has shown me his middle finger as I left the parking lot today. I also submitted a list of work manual revisions I wanted the acting senior co-worker to look over. I feel like I insult her intellligence and ability to write whenever I do this, since I take issue with how she words things in the company work manuals. Sometimes at work, I mutter under my breath about stuff I'm daydreaming about. I grow concerned, since anyone within earshot may mistake my muttering as being directed towards them. I'm not conscious of this habit most of the time, so I'm very scared that someone may misinterpret something I say, and then take offense to it.

Anyway, how was your day, board?

I must have these answers.

When I moved into this apartment it was the first time I moved at all so I preemptively bought a bunch of stuff... including a sofa

A sofa I never use.

Granted, I slept on it for a week or so waiting for my bed frame to arrive, even though I coulda unwrapped the mattress and slept on it by itself :/

...

so you openly admit to being a kind of a dick and then proceed to complain about others not liking you for being kind of a dick?

my day wasn't bad i guess.

I honestly never had any hesitation about living alone. Not one bit. I went from always living with someone the first 23 years of my life, to always living alone the last 17 years, and those have easily been the happiest 17 years I could have ever hoped for.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/7/7/AAc2z0AAE7NF.jpg

"Mountains out of mole hills" is what I took away from OPs post.

I believe you may have a tendency to blow things out of proportion, but I think you also know that.
Sometimes it helps for me to do the inverse if I get tunnel vision/stuck on a train of thought:
The size of the known universe is 93 billion lightyears across, and probably even larger. There is nothing that humanity can do to rate on a scale that size. Even if we blew up the solar system, it would be like a single firecracker going off.
So, with that in mind, what's your problem again?

You're not a bad person for having these issues. I strongly recommend speaking to a therapist about them.

Millea posted...

You're not a bad person for having these issues. I strongly recommend speaking to a therapist about them.

yeah this

Uh, yeah. Taking care of yourself involves work. Welcome to adulthood.

EclairReturns posted...

I've had to buy everything that I usually take for granted: trash bins, shower curtains, beds, and less commonly for people for my income level, sofas.

yup, although I don't really have a couch. too expensive and cumbersome, though it's glaringly absent and sure would be nice to have one.

eventually you have most of what you need, but yeah, shopping for stuff is a semi-regular thing to do. (thankfully there is Amazon now and you don't have to go to a department store or something).

But in my carelessness and eagerness to sanitize the apartment, I used a cleaning spray that was a bit too harsh

shouldn't it have already been clean? otherwise, just another skill to build.

EclairReturns posted...

I realized that I took other people's company for granted, too. It's just me in this apartment. And aside from needing help getting everything set up, I'm feeling more lonely.

yes, thankfully there is internet and cellphones now

EclairReturns posted...

I think it's due to the stress of all the logistics of moving-in, which is hampered majorly by my obsession over what's clean, what isn't, how clean something is, what touched what, and other things that likely have no basis in reality.

it should be nearly spotless already, I would hope. (I lived in the dumpiest trailer in the world for a while, that was slowly being eaten by ants and had never-ending mice problems (worse than I can describe). compared to that, my current second-floor apartment is spectacular. the only cleaning I need to do is specifically cleaning after myself, which is great.)

your problems at work are not great. I don't have much advice there except to try to improve and don't let other people being jerks be an excuse for you to be a jerk. be professional in spite of their unprofessionalism.

Remember you now have to cook for yourself.
Forever.

Kind of stresses me out how much my current landlord has put a bunch of cleaning duties on the lease. I mean how clean am I supposed to keep this place when I spend most of my time working and being too exhausted to do anything when I'm not working? I don't want them to randomly inspect my house without notice when changing my filters and then get mad that it's not perfectly clean and kick me out or some insane BS. I keep up with throwing out trash which is the main thing but I'm not always caught up on dishes or laundry so I have that lying around sometimes

Zedonra posted...

I'm not always caught up on dishes or laundry so I have that lying around sometimes

You could probably benefit from having a laundry hamper and maybe a bin to store dirty dishes. You should still try to avoid letting dishes pile up too much because leaving food residues around risks attracting vermin, but even if you aren't keeping perfectly on top of them the simple act of gathering the mess in one place does a lot to help it look and feel tidier. A bunch of dirty clothes on the floor is a problem, but the same amount of dirty clothes in a hamper or basket is perfectly fine.

Millea posted...

You're not a bad person for having these issues. I strongly recommend speaking to a therapist about them.

Agree with this sentiment.

I was pretty overwhelmed for my first while of living on my own.

I don't know if it's reassuring but you will get most things clean with hot water and a couple of drops of dish soap.

Nade_Duck posted...

you openly admit to being a kind of a dick and then proceed to complain about others not liking you for being kind of a dick

Yes, that is what happened.

TheGuiltySpark posted...

your problem

I was feeling stressed-out last night, and felt like talking to somebody about it.

JudgeMentok posted...

intentionally make your posts difficult to read so

Maybe. I was too tired and distressed to bother spacing out this post, in any case.

Sahuagin posted...

shouldn't it have already been clean?

I have problems. :(

ReturnOfFa posted...

you will get most things clean with hot water and a couple of drops of dish soap

Thank you for the tip. I'm trying to get into the habit of using low-power cleaning techniques, because I don't want to overwear everything as I had in the past few days.

shadowsword87 posted...

Remember you now have to cook for yourself.
Forever.

not necessarily. After all a lot of grocery stores have single serve dinners that all you have to do is pop them in your microwave or oven, which doesn't take a lot of time, not to mention TV dinners which, while not that healthy, are better than nothing. Then there are restaurants and places like McD's that you can visit from time to time if you can afford it.

GastroFan posted...

not necessarily. After all a lot of grocery stores have single serve dinners that all you have to do is pop them in your microwave or oven, which doesn't take a lot of time, not to mention TV dinners which, while not that healthy, are better than nothing. Then there are restaurants and places like McD's that you can visit from time to time if you can afford it.

Hey my man.
You should get a rice cooker and learn how to put flavorful things on rice, it'll save your gut and your wallet.

Whats rent for you over there? Single bedroom?

blu posted...

rent

It is about seventeen-hundred American dollars, excluding water and electricity.

blu posted...

Single bedroom

Yes.

Rent has basically doubled from the time I've been 19 - 32. You in a city?

ReturnOfFa posted...

city

Not a big one, no.

EclairReturns posted...

It is about seventeen-hundred American dollars, excluding water and electricity.

Bro that is really good. Apartments in my area are mostly $2500-3000.

And if you start feeling bad about yourself, I'm almost 30 and still live with one of my parents. So take solace in that if you want.

EclairReturns posted...

Not a big one, no.

Meh, doesn't have to be a big one to have gotten expensive in the past decade.

Also, if you end up having trouble with meals...if you're ok with basic prep those meal ordering companies are actually quite good. Or you could just do the one that are entirely microwaved, and those honestly look pretty good too.