Current Events > Redditor leaves date after finding out she's trans

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[deleted]
09/03/23 1:02:02 PM
#56:


[deleted]
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[deleted]
09/03/23 3:01:36 PM
#273:


[deleted]
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Noname12
09/03/23 3:17:10 PM
#1:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/2/3/AAfeZRAAEzvr.jpg

he claims he should have been told beforehand

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Kitt
09/03/23 3:17:59 PM
#2:


500 topic, here we go!

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hockeybub89
09/03/23 3:18:50 PM
#3:


Should a woman mention infertility on the first date because a lot of men want kids?

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Shadowplay
09/03/23 3:19:46 PM
#4:


Scummy of her, and this coming from someone that would date a trans woman or man.

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boomgetchopped3
09/03/23 3:20:01 PM
#5:


Here we go again! I have pie and punch for everyone
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AgentCoulson
09/03/23 3:20:08 PM
#6:


Hmm NTA. How hard is it to be like "Before we do this, I need to tell you I'm trans. Is this a deal breaker for you?"

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voldothegr8
09/03/23 3:20:46 PM
#7:


Perfectly reasonable response, he is not the asshole.

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Euripides
09/03/23 3:21:24 PM
#8:


*ticks trans dating topic off CE bingo card*

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ai123
09/03/23 3:21:29 PM
#9:


She is under no obligation to disclose her medical history.

He is under no obligation to date outside of his preference.

The 'wrong' thing would be not handling the situation in a sensitive and polite manner.

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Humble_Novice
09/03/23 3:22:11 PM
#10:


ai123 posted...
She is under no obligation to disclose her medical history.

He is under no obligation to date outside of his preference.

The 'wrong' thing would be not handling the situation in a sensitive and polite manner.
This.

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viewmaster_pi
09/03/23 3:22:29 PM
#11:


i personally don't believe this happened, as is the standard for AITAH, but also, "something i can't put my hand on"?

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MrMallard
09/03/23 3:22:31 PM
#12:


It's his right if he has a preference, but I do think he could have handled it with more tact and the last line there where he "told her what he really thought about her" seems kind of trashy and hurtful for the sake of being trashy and hurtful. And the one place I see "trans people in sports" as a persistent talking point in CE, and it's rarely productive. Dude is giving off red flags.

If he prefers cisgender women, he prefers cisgender women. I still think he showed his true colours at the end there and comes off looking like a wankstain. Not that I expect a fed topic to go well, but that's how I feel.

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Heineken14
09/03/23 3:22:48 PM
#13:


IF that's how it went down, no he's not the asshole.

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Kimbos_Egg
09/03/23 3:22:53 PM
#14:


hockeybub89 posted...
Should a woman mention infertility on the first date because a lot of men want kids?

Are we really comparing the two?

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Euripides
09/03/23 3:25:16 PM
#15:


The polite thing to do would be to finish the date, pay for dinner, politely say goodnight, then opt not to go on a second date.

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Waxitron_Gazer
09/03/23 3:25:17 PM
#16:


straight people are so fucking awful.

dude admits to thinking she's attractive and interesting, admits to having a pleasant time, and then flips the table when he finds out she's trans.

yes, he's the asshole.

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Compsognathus
09/03/23 3:26:17 PM
#17:


ai123 posted...
She is under no obligation to disclose her medical history.

He is under no obligation to date outside of his preference.

The 'wrong' thing would be not handling the situation in a sensitive and polite manner.
More or less how I feel about it. The dude's an ass for how he handled the situation. I've been on dates where I realized I wasn't attracted to a person for whatever reason, that's fine. Nobody is obligated to be attracted to any other person. But like I let the date run its course and remained polite. There just wasn't a second date.

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ClayGuida
09/03/23 3:26:19 PM
#18:


I mean they're clearly attracted to them, so this date or down the road, they'll clearly embrace their feelings rather than push them away.

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reincarnator07
09/03/23 3:26:44 PM
#19:


There's nothing wrong with having a preference of genitals.

However, they were pretty assholeish about how they went about it. It's not deceptive to not mention that you're trans, it's self preservation, especially with how backwards many places still are.

Also maybe this is just me, but you can make friends even if there ends up being no romance. Seems a waste of an evening to just end it halfway because you can't get your dick wet.

Ultimately, his date dodged a bullet here, good for her.

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emblem-man
09/03/23 3:27:28 PM
#20:


I don't even believe this story in the first place

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Priere
09/03/23 3:27:36 PM
#21:


He did nothing wrong.

He handled the situation well. Its ok to have preferences.

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Kimbos_Egg
09/03/23 3:28:20 PM
#22:


Waxitron_Gazer posted...
straight people are so fucking awful.

dude admits to thinking she's attractive and interesting, admits to having a pleasant time, and then flips the table when he finds out she's trans.

yes, he's the asshole.

this is the most ignorant shit i've read all day.

So, by your own stupidity, gays and lesbians should continue dates with their opposite genders and sleep with them, other wise their bigots like you? Sure, keep believing that, buddy.

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Kimbos_Egg
09/03/23 3:29:20 PM
#23:


reincarnator07 posted...
It's not deceptive to not mention that you're trans, it's self preservation, especially with how backwards many places still are.

And theres the second dumbest thing i read.

So, its dangerous for them to tell a person they haven't met or gone out with yet, but not to well after the date/possibly before sex? Yeah can't see anyone flipping out and being violent AFTER meeting them, BEFORE? OH GOD YES!

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ClayGuida
09/03/23 3:29:45 PM
#24:


Kimbos_Egg posted...
this is the most ignorant shit i've read all day.

So, by your own stupidity, gays and lesbians should continue dates with their opposite genders and sleep with them, other wise their bigots like you? Sure, keep believing that, buddy.
Wait, is this post real?

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Swagger_Dagger
09/03/23 3:29:56 PM
#25:


Waxitron_Gazer posted...
straight people are so fucking awful.

dude admits to thinking she's attractive and interesting, admits to having a pleasant time, and then flips the table when he finds out she's trans.

yes, he's the asshole.
dumbest post of the topic so far.

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Gamespoht
09/03/23 3:30:27 PM
#26:


emblem-man posted...
I don't even believe this story in the first place
Fr realisticdude77 just screams burner account

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ClayGuida
09/03/23 3:30:34 PM
#27:


Swagger_Dagger posted...
dumbest post of the topic so far.
Is it really dumber than the 'lesbians should fuck guys' post I just quoted?

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Kimbos_Egg
09/03/23 3:30:42 PM
#28:


ClayGuida posted...
Wait, is this post real?

Yes its real. You can read i'm assuming? Or do you think only gay's and lesbians have the privilege to sleep and go out with only people their attracted to, but everyone else needs to suck it up and deal with it? Grow up.

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Kimbos_Egg
09/03/23 3:31:24 PM
#29:


ClayGuida posted...
Is it really dumber than the 'lesbians should fuck guys' post I just quoted?

So, the whole "being able to read" thing was clearly wrong, huh?

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ClayGuida
09/03/23 3:31:30 PM
#30:


Kimbos_Egg posted...
Yes its real. You can read i'm assuming? Or do you think only gay's and lesbians have the privilege to sleep and go out with only people their attracted to, but everyone else needs to suck it up and deal with it? Grow up.
Lesbians are attracted to women. You know this right?

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viewmaster_pi
09/03/23 3:32:35 PM
#31:


emblem-man posted...
I don't even believe this story in the first place
for real, you guys really shouldn't let fake reddit stories pollute your nice gamefaqs experience. it's either outrage bait or a karma farming post depending on who sees it

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emblem-man
09/03/23 3:32:36 PM
#32:


Compsognathus posted...
More or less how I feel about it. The dude's an ass for how he handled the situation. I've been on dates where I realized I wasn't attracted to a person for whatever reason, that's fine. Nobody is obligated to be attracted to any other person. But like I let the date run its course and remained polite. There just wasn't a second date.

This

reincarnator07 posted...
It's not deceptive to not mention that you're trans, it's self preservation, especially with how backwards many places still are.

I'm curious. Not that they have to, but knowing this, would it be worth it to disclose before the date just so you can avoid meeting someone, potentially violent, in person. Depends on the person I guess

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Kimbos_Egg
09/03/23 3:32:41 PM
#33:


ClayGuida posted...
Lesbians are attracted to women. You know this right?


Kimbos_Egg posted...
So, the whole "being able to read" thing was clearly wrong, huh?


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Purple_Cheetah
09/03/23 3:32:48 PM
#34:


I feel the least he could have done is said "This isn't going to work out" during/after the dinner instead of immediately accusing of deception. But other than that, eh... wasn't, since it's better to just shut it down sooner than later.
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#35
Post #35 was unavailable or deleted.
AceAttorneyist
09/03/23 3:33:49 PM
#36:


MrMallard posted...
It's his right if he has a preference, but I do think he could have handled it with more tact and the last line there where he "told her what he really thought about her" seems kind of trashy and hurtful for the sake of being trashy and hurtful. And the one place I see "trans people in sports" as a persistent talking point in CE, and it's rarely productive. Dude is giving off red flags.

If he prefers cisgender women, he prefers cisgender women. I still think he showed his true colours at the end there and comes off looking like a wankstain. Not that I expect a fed topic to go well, but that's how I feel.

She was swearing at him first, it's completely justified. Could he have been more graceful about it, sure. It's never wrong to give a commensurate response, though.

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ClayGuida
09/03/23 3:34:36 PM
#37:


Kimbos_Egg posted...
So, by your own stupidity, gays and lesbians should continue dates with their opposite genders and sleep with them, other wise their bigots like you? Sure, keep believing that, buddy.
A 4 year old could see how stupid this post is.

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mybbqrules
09/03/23 3:34:48 PM
#38:


ai123 posted...
She is under no obligation to disclose her medical history.

He is under no obligation to date outside of his preference.

The 'wrong' thing would be not handling the situation in a sensitive and polite manner.
This. He paid the bill, and only "told her what he really thought" of her when she accused him of being transphobic.

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Waxitron_Gazer
09/03/23 3:34:53 PM
#39:


Swagger_Dagger posted...
dumbest post of the topic so far.
well there's some irony.

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Euripides
09/03/23 3:34:57 PM
#40:


Imagine believing something you read on Reddit

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VeggetaX
09/03/23 3:36:56 PM
#41:


This is some bullshit

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hockeybub89
09/03/23 3:37:07 PM
#42:


ai123 posted...
He is under no obligation to date outside of his preference
Correct, but someone can still be an asshole with their preferences. I know snowflakes have forgotten, but it used to be acceptable to have opinions about people's opinions. People have no obligation to respect someone who has such preferences.

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Nemu
09/03/23 3:37:28 PM
#43:


Probably not real, but not disclosing that kind of information upfront is a massive waste of time at best. If there's worry about safety, then going on dates with strangers is unwise in the first place.
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AceAttorneyist
09/03/23 3:37:42 PM
#44:


ClayGuida posted...
A 4 year old could see how stupid this post is.

Could they though? And should they?

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CADE_FOSTER
09/03/23 3:38:06 PM
#45:


Euripides posted...
Imagine believing something you read on Reddit
same with this place nothing but lies
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invertedlegdrop
09/03/23 3:39:01 PM
#46:


Nah he's not. Now if she told him, then he makes a scene sure but on this situation, no...

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Alucard188
09/03/23 3:39:23 PM
#47:


ai123 posted...
She is under no obligation to disclose her medical history.

He is under no obligation to date outside of his preference.

The 'wrong' thing would be not handling the situation in a sensitive and polite manner.

This is how I feel, though he really shouldn't have qualified why he was ending the date early. If a date's not working out, it's not working out. Either excuse yourself and leave, or stay until the date's conclusion, then leave. There's no reason to state that you won't date them because they are trans. At least he didn't try the trans panic defense.


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itcheyness
09/03/23 3:39:39 PM
#48:


Kimbos_Egg posted...
And theres the second dumbest thing i read.

So, its dangerous for them to tell a person they haven't met or gone out with yet, but not to well after the date/possibly before sex? Yeah can't see anyone flipping out and being violent AFTER meeting them, BEFORE? OH GOD YES!
So you want them to make themselves easy targets for hate groups?

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