Current Events > How do I turn my sister down who wants to come visit me for her birthday?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I currently am not in a good headspace to accept company right now. Just mentally and anxiety wise. A lot of things I'm dealing with. Even if it is my loving sister. I'm just not sure how to tell her that. She stayed with me last summer for a few weeks and it was great. I was doing much better then. I feel bad because it's her birthday. I've already turned one of my other sisters down already. I'm just super mentally exhausted with everything currently.

Sounds like you should just talk to them. Let them know, if you have good relationships with them I can't imagine they wouldn't do what they could to help.

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Sounds like you should just talk to them. Let them know, if you have good relationships with them I can't imagine they wouldn't do what they could to help.

Yes but how? What do I say? I don't want to let them know I'm "mentally exhausted."

Bump

BigMeatyClaws posted...

Yes but how? What do I say? I don't want to let them know I'm "mentally exhausted."

Why not? I mean, you don't have to use that exact wording, but you should tell her you're overwhelmed right now. Maybe make plans to have a belated birthday celebration with her later on when you're doing better.

It's much better this way than having an episode when she's already there because you pushed yourself past your limit.

Fake your death

I'm gonna keep it simple so that you can dress it up however you want for her, just explain that while you'd love for her to visit where you currently are mentally would likely ruin her birthday, her visit, and perhaps even your siblingship.

It's awesome that she wants to spend it with you, however if you feel like you may sour or even ruin your relationship going forward, I think it would be best to avoid that.

tell her that you are looking forward to her visit. Tell her you have some activities planned from some videos you saw online. Tell her how you have a sock stuck under your bed that you cannot reach and that you need her help to get it.

Just tell them the truth.

It will be far better than any alternative.

BigMeatyClaws posted...

Yes but how? What do I say? I don't want to let them know I'm "mentally exhausted."

Just tell them exactly how you feel. Use whatever words that come to mind in the moment.

I'm sorry guys. I don't like showing a lot of weakness to my family. Yes, this is a problem in today's society and i don't feel comfortable doing it at the moment. But I will just tell her it's not the best time for me right now.

Have you ever thought that having company--especially a good family member, could make you feel better?

BigMeatyClaws posted...

I'm sorry guys. I don't like showing a lot of weakness to my family. Yes, this is a problem in today's society and i don't feel comfortable doing it at the moment. But I will just tell her it's not the best time for me right now.

While I get it, if you're not willing to be honest you're pretty much just gonna have to deal with looking like an asshole.

There's very few ways to not look like a dick by saying "No, don't visit me on your birthday" without a good reason. Your actual reason is good, but without admitting it there's not really a ton of options.

I feel like if you just share with her what you shared with us in your first post that'd be fine.

Her.

KanWan posted...

Its a big step to tell someone you really care about how you feel if youre not used to that

I can tell you its sooooooooo fucking worth it though

This