Current Events > Been single for 27 years lol

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ryangrad posted...

People have been attacking them like this for the same amount of time and that hasn't helped them either. So maybe just ignore them instead of shitting on them if you're tired of this stuff? I mean, you can do what you want to do, but it seems like you're just being awful to people for your own pleasure. Aside from the known redpill troll Crow000, I don't see a reason to attack anyone when they are feeling down. It really doesn't help them, so what's the point?

I didnt attack anyone. my original post was saying that these topics always turn into a cesspool of incel talk when the trolls come in. Which they do, like the birthright guy.

That's when Feline started the discourse about the term incel. I didnt call anyone out i didnt name names except for BSP who i think is a good dude for trying to help out.

I've dealt with a family of people who suffer from substance abuse problems and eventually, you gotta shit or get off the pot. No one can help you but you and over the years all these type of topics on CE are the same people with same problems making excuses for why they cant change. I offer my advice and it gets ignored just like they do to BSP.

You can make excuses about being picked on or bullied but even people in healthy functional relationships have baggage.

I4NRulez posted...

That's when Feline started the discourse about the term incel. I didnt call anyone out i didnt name names except for BSP who i think is a good dude for trying to help out.

maybe because villianizing the chronically lonely isnt the best approach. i see it all the time on advice subreddits, if people identify as an incel they get dogpiled, but they arent using incel ideology, they are just literally an incel by the base definition

FelineCyborg posted...

maybe because villianizing the chronically lonely isnt the best approach. i see it all the time on advice subreddits, if people identify as an incel they get dogpiled, but they arent using incel ideology, they are just literally an incel by the base definition

then don't identify as an incel? They don't control the narrative of the term society does that.

Not every lonely person is an incel but if it quacks like a duck and calls itself a duck....

Gonna need pics homie lol

Solid_Snake07 posted...

Honestly, if youre single and dont want to be youre either not really trying or you have unrealistic standards.

https://gfycat.com/embarrassedacidicdegu

I4NRulez posted...

You can make excuses about being picked on or bullied but even people in healthy functional relationships have baggage.

Definitely. It's all about finding the right person for your baggage that also has baggage you can work with.

FelineCyborg posted...

maybe because villianizing the chronically lonely isnt the best approach. i see it all the time on advice subreddits, if people identify as an incel they get dogpiled, but they arent using incel ideology, they are just literally an incel by the base definition

You have to find a different way to describe yourself then. The base definition is literally just involuntary celibate. Call yourself a virgin if you really want to highlight the celibate part of it. But Incel is no longer a neutral way to describe that.

It's unfortunate, but meanings change due to the events in society. Take the Swastika, for example, historically it was a symbol of good fortune, before the Nazis used it. But you don't use the Swastika imagery and insist that you're using it the original way. Because people are still going to associate it, and you, with Nazis. Same thing with incel. Don't voluntarily associate yourself with something that's now seen negatively.

-Kicksave- posted...

For every foreveralone male there is a foreveralone female. But the former contributes to the issue because although he complains about women not being attracted to him he also doesnt ask out any woman who is only 2/10.

It's not as equal as you might think in that regard. Even those women have men using them for "easy" targets. Barring some kind of issue(like social anxiety) that might prevent one from meeting another, they still have options. Maybe not the options they want, but options nonetheless.

Honestly, looks aren't super important to me. I tend to only develop feelings for people after I get to know them well and they have a fun personality. So, when I was using dating apps, I was liking on most of the ones I saw. Ones I thought were pretty, along with ones that others likely would pass on due to looks. But I figured I'd give anyone a shot.

You know what happened? I matched with one of those 2's. We met irl, and she told me that she would never be with a man like me. Then proceeded to tell me about all her other hookups, and how easy it is for her to find a man to lay with, but none worth dating, and that I was neither.

I'm the opposite. I'm currently 36, and since I was 18, I have only been single for a few months. I was dumped at 21, but then a few months later ended up with someone. I was with them for a year, then they dumped me and a week later I ended up dating someone else and I'm still with them. I get approached a lot, even when I'm in a relationship. I couldn't tell you why, I'm not attractive and I'm a loner type. If someone like me can do it, so can you.

kinetika_ posted...

I'm the opposite. I'm currently 36, and since I was 18, I have only been single for a few months. I was dumped at 21, but then a few months later ended up with someone. I was with them for a year, then they dumped me and a week later I ended up dating someone else and I'm still with them. I get approached a lot, even when I'm in a relationship. I couldn't tell you why, I'm not attractive and I'm a loner type. If someone like me can do it, so can you.

i feel like other women can smell you out if youre in a relationship. i get way more attebtion when im in one even when im not with my partner, its like women can smell the other women on me and want me lol

KogaSteelfang posted...

It's not as equal as you might think in that regard

Men and women are close to 50/50. Most people are monogamous, so yes, it is by mathematical default close to equal.

People say that humans are social creatures and that people should go out of their way to "meet new people"

While simultaneously bashing or making fun of people who make an effort to try to get to know you. Another reason why men may not want to put themselves out there or be social. Because said men will get bashed or insulted or called "creepy" for daring to get into a friend group.

FelineCyborg posted...

i feel like other women can smell you out if youre in a relationship. i get way more attebtion when im in one even when im not with my partner, its like women can smell the other women on me and want me lol

Nah, it's because if you're in a happy relationship, it changes how you act around others. You're more confident, you're naturally happier, you're not secretly trying to hook up with the women you're talking to, etc. It unintentionally pulls them in more. Same thing happens to women in relationships too.

KogaSteelfang posted...

It's not as equal as you might think in that regard. Even those women have men using them for "easy" targets. Barring some kind of issue(like social anxiety) that might prevent one from meeting another, they still have options. Maybe not the options they want, but options nonetheless.

Honestly, looks aren't super important to me. I tend to only develop feelings for people after I get to know them well and they have a fun personality. So, when I was using dating apps, I was liking on most of the ones I saw. Ones I thought were pretty, along with ones that others likely would pass on due to looks. But I figured I'd give anyone a shot.

You know what happened? I matched with one of those 2's. We met irl, and she told me that she would never be with a man like me. Then proceeded to tell me about all her other hookups, and how easy it is for her to find a man to lay with, but none worth dating, and that I was neither.

Sorry you got a 2 who acted like she was a 6 and looking for someone on that level (like most guys). Most 2s arent witches/players, are nicer than the average person, and want to make relationships happen.

In my own softball team is a 4/10 guy in his late 30s who thinks he is a foreveralone yet he refuses to ask out any girl who is not 6/10. There are two 3/10 girls and one 1/10 girl on the team all hoping for a guy but like most foreveralone guys he wont even think about asking out any of them. But I know these women and they would most definitely be willing to give anyone a shot.

I honestly think a lot of people here who suffer from "forever alone" status would fix their situation if they focused on self improvement for a few years or so. Yes, easier said than done but you have to start somewhere. Practice personal hygiene, start with some light exercise like taking a walk every day, eating healthy, getting 7-8 hours of sleep, and so on. Start small and eventually work your way up.

I barely got any real attention from women when I was around 20 years old or so back in 2018. It wasn't until when I started to really take care of myself and lift weights that I received a lot more attention from women. Just the other day, a girl at the local mall said I looked bigger compared to the last time she saw me (I was a regular at a gym she used to go to). About a month ago, a girl walked up to me in the middle of my workout and she told me that I have a great body. I never thought situations like this would happen to me. I'm only in the position I am now because I tried to change my life.

Scarecrow17 posted...

I honestly think a lot of people here who suffer from "forever alone" status would fix their situation if they focused on self improvement for a few years or so. Yes, easier said than done but you have to start somewhere. Practice personal hygiene, start with some light exercise like taking a walk every day, eating healthy, getting 7-8 hours of sleep, and so on. Start small and eventually work your way up.

I barely got any real attention from women when I was around 20 years old or so back in 2018. It wasn't until when I started to really take care of myself and lift weights that I received a lot more attention from women. Just the other day, a girl at the local mall said I looked bigger compared to the last time she saw me (I was a regular at a gym she used to go to). About a month ago, a girl walked up to me in the middle of my workout and she told me that I have a great body. I never thought situations like this would happen to me. I'm only in the position I am now because I tried to change my life.

Most men barely get attention from women. While women get tons of attention every single day. Whether it's in instagram DMs, Dating sites, In real life, etc. Even CE proves this point. A random average chick who is actually real, will get tons of attention from CE members.

The reason things are diff is because a 20 year old punk is massively different in mindset compared to a 30 or 40 year old man who has been through shit and whose value has increased with age

Women are born with their value, while men have to create their value

Scarecrow17 posted...

I barely got any real attention from women when I was around 20 years old or so back in 2018.

Barely at 20 is different from none ever. Besides, iirc you had plenty of luck over the years before you buffed up.

MyBirthRight posted...

Women are born with their value, while men have to create their value

havent you seen pinnochio? he has to earn his right to be a "real boy" XD

Some of yall need to spend a year or multiple years in southeast Asia. The world has turned on you and you don't owe anyone anything. go give yourselves a chance.

As I read through this topic, I'm reminded why I'm glad I just don't give a crap about relationships. From my perspective (for me, that is), if it's meant to happen, it'll happen naturally, and if it doesn't happen, it was never meant to be for me to be with somebody. Either way, I'm just going to continue being me and enjoying life, regardless of what happens.

Advice like work on yourself I support cause health is wealth and I feel better physically than ever but feel like that doesnt make as big of a difference as people say for getting into a relationship

But right now I am in Physical therapy school going onto my 3rd and final year and about to be all done with nothing (no exs) to show for it relationship wise but a bunch of missed shots and rejections/friendzones and tons of one and done dates and maybe the 2-3 week long flings from chicks Ive met either online or occasionally in person. And we all know its 20x harder to not only make friends outside of school but also develop relationships(well at at least in my opinion and from other people Ive spoken with)

i go out to the bars here in Northwest Arkansas and even though I can prolly find me a girl for the night to grind on/make out with, I still dont know how people consistently take em home. I can get their number probably, but that number 1) is either fake 2) or they dont text back at all and its like temporary joy for that night while Im out and Im back where I started once I get home at 2:30am lol

Lol Arkansas theres your problem

KogaSteelfang posted...

Barely at 20 is different from none ever. Besides, iirc you had plenty of luck over the years before you buffed up.

Eh, kinda but not really, Even at 20, I had the exact same mindset. I never thought I was going to find any woman who liked me while I returned the same feelings. The only real luck I had was with women who weren't the type of girls you want to be in a relationship or even be associated with. At 40 years of age, you're not as old as you think you are plus you look great yourself, Koga. If a guy tells you that you look good, then best believe that women think the same. They just aren't as likely to say it but they definitely notice.

I'm sure a lot of the guys on CE don't look bad at all.

-Kicksave- posted...

Sorry you got a 2 who acted like she was a 6 and looking for someone on that level (like most guys). Most 2s arent witches/players, are nicer than the average person, and want to make relationships happen.

In my own softball team is a 4/10 guy in his late 30s who thinks he is a foreveralone yet he refuses to ask out any girl who is not 6/10. There are two 3/10 girls and one 1/10 girl on the team all hoping for a guy but like most foreveralone guys he wont even think about asking out any of them. But I know these women and they would most definitely be willing to give anyone a shot.

I'm just curious but what makes a women a 3 or 1 in your opinion? They seem like really low scores.
I view myself as ugly and would give myself a 3.

I'll be 31 this year and pretty much in the same boat... Pretty much learned I'm going to have to live with it at this point...

Some people indeed do not wash their ass

Scarecrow17 posted...

If a guy tells you that you look good, then best believe that women think the same

nah

MyBirthRight posted...

nah

You didn't edit your post fast enough, player.

MyBirthRight posted...
While women get tons of attention every single day.

Again, a very ugly or obese girl absolutely will not get attention or DMs, except the negative kind.

Most foreveralone men refuse to pursue them.

-Kicksave- posted...

While women get tons of attention every single day.

Again, a very ugly or obese girl absolutely will not get attention or DMs, except the negative kind.

Most foreveralone men refuse to pursue them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKmvvBelNcw

ColdOne666 posted...

I'm just curious but what makes a women a 3 or 1 in your opinion? They seem like really low scores.
I view myself as ugly and would give myself a 3.

I think of it as a bell curve, with a lot of the population between 5 and 6. 10s are rare, the kind that could do modeling as a professional career.

1s on a dating desirability curve are represented by enormously obese people, have some physical disfigurement or mental/physical handicap, or appearances that make them the target of insults in school or public. 3s are pretty common, just the conventionally ugly people.

Fat Girl on Tinder gets multiple matches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyZ8KpXOn94

Men in general are more desperate

MyBirthRight posted...

Fat Girl on Tinder gets multiple matches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyZ8KpXOn94

Men in general are more desperate

That girl is NOT unattractive at all. Actually, except for her weight, shes attractive. Plus her bikini and profile make her seem like an possible lay. Not surprised.

-Kicksave- posted...

That girl is NOT unattractive at all. Actually, except for her weight, shes attractive. Plus her bikini and profile make her seem like an possible lay. Not surprised.

So just a heads up, that MyBirthRight guy is the Alt of Crow0000 who always posts a ton of red pill/incel stuff. You're not going to be able to convince him of anything reasonable.

NoxObscuras posted...

So just a heads up, that MyBirthRight guy is the Alt of Crow0000 who always posts a ton of red pill/incel stuff. You're not going to be able to convince him of anything reasonable.

Red Pill=/=Incel

Both completely different

WTGHookshot posted...

As I read through this topic, I'm reminded why I'm glad I just don't give a crap about relationships. From my perspective (for me, that is), if it's meant to happen, it'll happen naturally, and if it doesn't happen, it was never meant to be for me to be with somebody. Either way, I'm just going to continue being me and enjoying life, regardless of what happens.

Nah thats a bad attitude to have. Things take work. Relationships dont just happen it takes effort to get to know someone.

I4NRulez posted...

Nah thats a bad attitude to have. Things take work. Relationships dont just happen it takes effort to get to know someone.

Then it's a "bad" attitude to have. I'm not changing it.

If it doesn't happen naturally, without work/effort, then I don't want it, no offense. Like I said, if it doesn't happen for me, then it wasn't meant to be and I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't need a relationship to live and enjoy life. Getting into a relationship is not a "goal" of mine like it seems to be others' in this topic. It's more of just a happy coincidence if it happens.

are you me OP?

I'm about to turn 27 next month. I'm a Hispanic male, 5'9", very fit, and (hate to brag tehehe), considered being really handsome. Yet, never had a GF, never had my first kiss, and yes... no experience..

One of my biggest lessons (which many refuse to believe), is that it's important to make yourself happy at first. Most rely on others... as someone else had already mentioned here, you gotta learn to be happy alone.

I can't lie.... as i'm getting older, I do hate the "the time will come", "plenty of fishes in the sea", etc etc. Just annoys me overall. I can't lie my ass tho... I am a bit picky especially here in the Hispanic space too. Over here, many early 20's already having kids, breaking up/divorce, etc. Yea.. I don't want to face that lmao.

It's funny because many say that I need to "self improve". Trust me... it's annoying to hear this but it's so true. YET, I feel like that sometimes (mostly at this point)it leads to nothing. I've been hitting the gym 3-5 days a week since I've graduated from HS, played football (soccer) since HS, giving myself good hygiene, dressing all cute, nice hair (at least i'm not freaking balding), etc. Now I'm getting into calisthenics/gymnastics.

PS... dating apps are useless imo. Been using it for months, and feels like it leads to nothing.

Overall, as I've said here so many tireless times, being single isn't the worst thing in the world. Tons of times for your hobbies, passions, and of course self improvements. It's still sad to see that now, 60% of men in their 20's-30's are single.. this is from a study btw.. not out of my booty...

MyBirthRight posted...

People who know how to speak and have a conversation, have a far easier time. All those muscles mean nothing in a fight or in regards to a social situation

You can practice that as well

MyBirthRight posted...

Red Pill=/=Incel

Both completely different

Nah, there's definitely overlap. Especially with the misogynistic views.

WTGHookshot posted...

Then it's a "bad" attitude to have. I'm not changing it.

If it doesn't happen naturally, without work/effort, then I don't want it, no offense. Like I said, if it doesn't happen for me, then it wasn't meant to be and I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't need a relationship to live and enjoy life. Getting into a relationship is not a "goal" of mine like it seems to be others' in this topic. It's more of just a happy coincidence if it happens.

If you truly don't care about being in a relationship, then there's nothing wrong with that. But generally speaking, men can't take the "I'll just let a relationship happen naturally" approach because men have to be the ones to initiate.

So I get why he said it's a bad attitude to have. Because some guys just sit and wait for it to fall into their lap and then get mad when nothing happens. That's what you don't want to fall into

RAAAWWWRRR posted...

PS... dating apps are useless imo. Been using it for months, and feels like it leads to nothing.

I won't claim to know your experiences with dating apps, but they're not all bad. I'd say give it another try if you're willing, but avoid Tinder if you're looking for a relationship.

RAAAWWWRRR posted...

, 60% of men in their 20's-30's are single.. this is from a study btw.. not out of my booty...

whoa wtf just looked that up...wonder how true this is...because it says 30% of women in the same age group says they are single. does that mean women are either dating the same dudes or just dating older men??

FelineCyborg posted...

whoa wtf just looked that up...wonder how true this is...because it says 30% of women in the same age group says they are single. does that mean women are either dating the same dudes or just dating older men??

It's important to understand context. "Single" often is used to mean "unmarried" and not necessarily "not in a relationship." Also those men could be a timely dating/engaging in sex but not in a monogamous, committed relationship. It doesn't mean they're actually alone.

FelineCyborg posted...

whoa wtf just looked that up...wonder how true this is...because it says 30% of women in the same age group says they are single. does that mean women are either dating the same dudes or just dating older men??

its false lol

https://ifstudies.org/blog/theres-no-huge-gender-gap-in-being-single-among-young-adults

Yeah, i preferred to have my relationships happen naturally and i was content with the relationships i have had throughout my life. Thankful for the times where i meant something to someone i guess.

I do agree that you need to step up your efforts if you dont want to be single. This means initiating, dating, spending time, and making your love interest have no doubt in their mind that you value their presence. If you do not want to pursue, then be proactive in your interests and be available. That way youre ready to move on to whatever you want when people are interested in you. You do need to be aware because subtle hints to outright flirtations do pass by. Then to move on towards dating or continue being single until you feel like taking that leap of faith that someone will take care of you.

I think the difficult part is being able to communicate and comprosmise your wants & needs to that other person and how those others reciprocate. I did at one time think i needed someone to feel complete but thats changed now that i have changed and its more than i thought and experienced it could ever be. I needed to just get over myself in order to give myself to the relationship. Maybe my next relationship will be the one that i cant live the rest of my life without. Sure the next one might not but i want to believe that i am making the steps towards being someone who is ready and committed towards that kind of love.

well anyways hope this helps or gets you lost because that way, youll start asking yourself the questions you need to answer and find your own ways to find that someone.

bsp77 posted...

The first woman I dated after my divorce most definitely came after me at a bar. Happened other times as well. And to most of my guy friends too at some point.

Yeah in my case I was just always oblivious until a long time after thr fact and I'd realize the girl had been hitting on me.

Sufferedphoneix posted...

Yeah in my case I was just always oblivious until a long time after thr fact and I'd realize the girl had been hitting on me.

Even that must be nice.

I was single almost all my life till i met my current fiancee at 28 years old no age is too late.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Even that must be nice.

Makes you feel like a idiot. The one I remember this most is this red head. That's the one I regret not picking up on

really feeling the draw right now. But I'll have to move out first or it's probably impossible.