Current Events > I apologized to my wofe for wanting to kill myself this morning.

(+) Yeah! (+)

*not a statement of intent mods please don't kill me*

This fucking sucks. Everything keeps going downhill and my mental health is getting worse. I should be fine with her, she's so amazing, but I'm just so tired. No resources available to use at this point and close to losing everything.

Here's the suicide prevention hotline number. 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They can probably give you more professional help and insight than CE can >_>

DKBananaSlamma posted...

Here's the suicide prevention hotline number. 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They can probably give you more professional help and insight than CE can >_>

It's actually 811 in the US now, and thanks!

CE can actually be pretty helpful for venting. Advice is more hit or miss

Remember that it's okay to admit you're struggling. DK I'm the second post already listed the number I was going to provide, though there are also a few venting anonymously websites out there you might consider checking out.

Ill be honest with you, coming here is only gonna make your mental health worse

How does apologising for this work?
Are you supposed to try and convince them you actually didn't mean it or do you explain it so it at least become more understandable to them?

ViewtifulJoe posted...

How does apologising for this work?
Are you supposed to try and convince them you actually didn't mean it or do you explain it so it at least become more understandable to them?

She knows and understands. I apologized because I feel so guilty for feeling that way, like I'm betraying her.

KarsaToblakai posted...

It's actually 811 in the US now, and thanks!

CE can actually be pretty helpful for venting. Advice is more hit or miss

I think it's 988

I should be fine with her, she's so amazing, but I'm just so tired.

As someone dealing with depression, remember that "should" is the real S-word. Any time you notice yourself saying/thinking that word, be mindful of everything else included in its sentence. Chances are very good it's an unrealistic expectation, a sweeping statement, or other sort of intrusive thought that simply can't be applied to everyone in every situation.

All these "should" statements ever do is make you ask yourself why you aren't happy (even though you "should" be happy), which ironically is only going to make you feel more unhappy. Throw these statements in the bin.

KainWind posted...

I think it's 988

You are right

Philip027 posted...

As someone dealing with depression, remember that "should" is the real S-word. Any time you notice yourself saying/thinking that word, be mindful of everything else included in its sentence. Chances are very good it's an unrealistic expectation, a sweeping statement, or other sort of intrusive thought that simply can't be applied to everyone in every situation.

All these "should" statements ever do is make you ask yourself why you aren't happy (even though you "should" be happy), which ironically is only going to make you feel more unhappy. Throw these statements in the bin.

Yeah thatcame to mind as I typed it. I know it's illogical, especially now that the panic attack is passed.

Philip027 posted...

As someone dealing with depression, remember that "should" is the real S-word. Any time you notice yourself saying/thinking that word, be mindful of everything else included in its sentence. Chances are very good it's an unrealistic expectation, a sweeping statement, or other sort of intrusive thought that simply can't be applied to everyone in every situation.

All these "should" statements ever do is make you ask yourself why you aren't happy (even though you "should" be happy), which ironically is only going to make you feel more unhappy. Throw these statements in the bin.

This is good advice and I've received something similar in therapy. Don't think of how things should be, think of what you want things to be like and what you can change going forward to get there.

Thinking a single person should fix your problems is just not fair to her or you. You're struggling with way more than what you can handle and that's why it is good to have multiple resources for dealing with things.

What was her reaction when you told her? I've told my whole family that before

MaxEffingBemis posted...

Ill be honest with you, coming here is only gonna make your mental health worse

I dunno why people say this.

CE is shockingly supportive and emphatic when people are having serious issues.

And personally, when I was in a stress center for my suicidal tendencies, it was other patients that had the greatest impact for me. Not the professionals.

Sometimes hearing from folks who are experiencing or have experienced similar things can help much more with these things.

In Buddhist thought, suffering, dissatisfaction, disharmony are all caused by attachment/desire/clinginess. So if we are feeling suffering, dissatisfaction or disharmony, we must be attached, desiring (either for something or against something) or we are clung to an object, person, thoughts or emotion. We think these things are forever, but they are not. All is temporary.

Buddhism would want a person that is feeling a temporary emotion to first recognize it, not to avoid it. The next step would be to understand that we can feel a certain way, a specific emotion, but that doesn't make us that particular emotion. You could say yes, I feel anxious but I'm not an anxious person. Or yes, I feel angry but it doesn't mean I'm an angry person. This goes back to the idea of not being so attached or clingy to things. They are temporary, and meant to change. No need to hold onto them. But yes, do acknowledge them but also allow them to come and go like a guest visiting in your home. At some point they must leave.

MaxEffingBemis posted...

Ill be honest with you, coming here is only gonna make your mental health worse

people can be supportive here, i've seen it.

811 is the utilities buried lines number...

Philip027 posted...

As someone dealing with depression, remember that "should" is the real S-word. Any time you notice yourself saying/thinking that word, be mindful of everything else included in its sentence. Chances are very good it's an unrealistic expectation, a sweeping statement, or other sort of intrusive thought that simply can't be applied to everyone in every situation.

All these "should" statements ever do is make you ask yourself why you aren't happy (even though you "should" be happy), which ironically is only going to make you feel more unhappy. Throw these statements in the bin.

is this an actual thing?

ive always found not thinking about should/deserves makes me happier but it was never a clinicla thing, i made it up