Current Events > Confronted my mom about hiding rainbows

(+) Yeah! (+)

Didn't go great!

It wasn't planned either, but she was getting increasingly agitated during the Super Bowl when the Chiefs came back, for some reason. Then she yelled "Shut up, you fucking loudmouth!" at Travis Kelce's on-field interview and got into a back and forth with my brother about why she was upset. She said everything people say doesn't need to be analyzed and "You people get offended over everything!"

I then chimed in that, no, I don't get offended by everything but I do when I give someone a calendar and they cover up a small rainbow on it because it offends them. She quickly said "Why are you looking in my room?", as if the outside of her bedroom door is some private space. Then she got up, said "You can keep your fucking calendar", went and took it off her door, and stuffed it into the kitchen trash can. She then locked herself in her bedroom and I haven't seen her since.

So yeah, I'm gonna be having a very unpleasant conversation very soon that will probably hurt some feelings.

/blogfaqs

Did you take the calender out of the trash and proceed to mark important dates with multiple colors of markers/pens, almost in a rainbow pattern? I would have

Yeah that's why I don't talk to my mom anymore. She's the type that pretends to be supportive until it eventually boils over into random outbursts.

Suolevram posted...

Did you take the calender out of the trash and proceed to mark important dates with multiple colors of markers/pens, almost in a rainbow pattern? I would have

That would be passive aggressive.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that TC. I hope everything is/goes fine. Sounds like she is projecting her offense onto others to cover her own ass. It's clear she has an issue with Rainbows and gay folk, not them having an issue with her. She is being dismissive and a baby imo.

Good Luck

What a baby. Humble her.

Lokison posted...

That would be passive aggressive.

Passive aggressive is acceptable sometimes.

Genesis 9:13-16

I did take the calendar out of the trash and my sister took it. I'm still not sure why the Kansas City Chiefs were upsetting her so much either. And I know there's only my word to go on, but I swear there was no reason for her to blow up when I brought up the rainbow. All I had done was ask a few questions about why she was mad, without even raising my voice or attacking her.

I'm in a rough spot. I can't really strike out on my own, nor do I really want to, but coming out is gonna be a disaster. I've literally had nightmares about it. I can also now say with certainty that my pride shirt was deliberately getting lost in the wash.

You have to come out sooner or later. May as well be sooner and get it off your chest. You'll feel way better about that part at least

What comes after can be dealt with too. If she loves you, she will get mad for a bit and then come around and still love you

If not, well.. You already know what I'll say here

All of these problems can be dealt with

But also I'm not LGBT so take what I say with a grain of salt

Holy shit, you haven't come out to your mom? That situation sucks. How old are you, btw?

Are you in a position where you could move out? Seems like a lot of unnecessary trouble especially if you still rely on her so much. Why not move out and then try to tackle this?

bsp77 posted...

Holy shit, you haven't come out to your mom? That situation sucks. How old are you, btw?

I'm 33. I rent a house and split bills equal ways with her and my younger sister. The situation is a whole thing, but my dad walked out when I was in my 20s and I was barely an independent adult until I was like 25-26. Call it arrested development that I had to overcome.

And you can see why I haven't come out.

MuscleRobo posted...

Are you in a position where you could move out? Seems like a lot of unnecessary trouble especially if you still rely on her so much. Why not move out and then try to tackle this?

Not really. I'd have to find random roommates and give up a nice house. It would put my two siblings in a bind and force everyone to move. My brother has struggled with the same developmental and physical disabilities I have and he only works about 10 hours a week and is mostly dependent on us.

I had to kick my parents out of the 8 bedroom family house I owned, when I needed a quick influx of cash, and couldn't afford three properties, plus we were falling out, they kept eating my wife's Bluefin Tuna, and Manuka Honey both of which, were a constant cause of consternation.
I offered them the 2nd Apartment, but they declined.
They did take it with grace, and went back to their 3rd Apartment that they own (as the other two have good tenants in).

You might have to do the same, move to other properties you all own, my friend.

Man, if I was gay and my parents were homophobic, I might just atop associating with them. Actually, if my parents were blatantly homophobic, I would possibly stop associating with them anyway, and I'm straight.

Imagine owning multiple properties.

Smackems posted...

You have to come out sooner or later. May as well be sooner and get it off your chest. You'll feel way better about that part at least

What comes after can be dealt with too. If she loves you, she will get mad for a bit and then come around and still love you

If not, well.. You already know what I'll say here

All of these problems can be dealt with

But also I'm not LGBT so take what I say with a grain of salt

There's no obligation to come out, especially if it would just make your life harder. TC's mom sounds absolutely nasty. I feel like society pushes the narrative that you "have" to come out, but its not the best option for everybody

TeaMilk posted...

There's no obligation to come out, especially if it would just make your life harder. TC's mom sounds absolutely nasty. I feel like society pushes the narrative that you "have" to come out, but its not the best option for everybody

It really is tough. Like she'll be fine for a while and then something LGBTQ-related pops up somewhere and you can just see her demeanor change. She is absolutely disgusted by it being viewed as any sort of positive or innate trait. It's heartbreaking.

hockeybub89 posted...

I'm 33. I rent a house and split bills equal ways with her and my younger sister. The situation is a whole thing, but my dad walked out when I was in my 20s and I was barely an independent adult until I was like 25-26. Call it arrested development that I had to overcome.

You should leave.

Im biracial but if my white family was living with me and constantly calling me the n word i'd either kick them out or id leave.

People have this weird attachment to blood relatives. Being related by blood doesnt mean you need to sacrifice your mental health, especially in your 30s.

If you're in a position where youre not able to be your trueself youre gonna wake in 5 to 10 years and hate yourself.

hockeybub89 posted...

It really is tough. Like she'll be fine for a while and then something LGBTQ-related pops up somewhere and you can just see her demeanor change. She is absolutely disgusted by it being viewed as any sort of positive or innate trait. It's heartbreaking.

If it were me I'd rub that shit in her face every chance I get. Decorate the house with rainbow flags, paint the walls rainbow, hang up pictures of good looking hunky dudes, loudly comment on every single crush you have at the moment, etc.

I don't recommend actually doing this, especially if it would endanger your living situation.

Have you tried throwing away stuff your mom loves just to make her realize the pain she's trying to cause you?

Holy shit I'm sorry tc, I thought my mother was bad with the random haha biden was wrong bs. I hope everything goes as good as it can. :/

TC are you a pharmacist or am I thinking of someone else on CE? If not, are you employed?

Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

TC are you a pharmacist or am I thinking of someone else on CE? If not, are you employed?

I'm a pharmacy tech

I am sorry TC. I don't have any words of advice to offer, just words of support.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/0/9/AABqjYAAELs9.jpg

That seems not so much confronting her about it as passive aggressively making a snide comment while she was already going off about something else.

Your mom reminds me of my own. Which I'm very fucking sorry you have to deal with.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Lmao that was my first thought. What a weird fucking post.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


i wonder how many times this exact post has been made in response to Tenlaar's bullshit.

Teh Tenlurr

hockeybub89 posted...

I'm a pharmacy tech

Does that pay well? Is the barrier to moving out on your not financial at all? Do you have any friends that you could room with for a while to ease the transition of living on your own?

I had a 5 hour long drive where my mother and I argued about gay marriage. Dunno why my mom was such a bigot about it. She kept arguing that gay people should have their own union and own it rather than "marriage" and I was just flabbergasted. Later in the day when we got to my older sister's we were still arguing about it and then she goes, "If one of my kids wanted to marry someone of the same gender, would you support them?" My mom said yes so my older sister told her to shut the fuck up. XD

Tenlaar posted...

That seems not so much confronting her about it as passive aggressively making a snide comment while she was already going off about something else.

No one knows what she was going off about, but I'm not going to hear about how offended I am for wondering why Travis Kelce pisses her off, when she's playing anti-rainbow police around the house.

Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

Does that pay well? Is the barrier to moving out on your not financial at all? Do you have any friends that you could room with for a while to ease the transition of living on your own?

I make about $20/hr. I admit it's a little selfish that I don't want to lower my quality of life if I don't have to and leave a house I like, but also that would force everyone else to move out too.

On an aside, what's with conservatives and turning into pentulant teenagers when asked to explain why they said something? "I just don't like it. I don't have to tell you why". Random combinations of sounds don't just leak out of most human beings.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/7/1/8/AAYZyTAAELwO.jpg

Give her Skittles as a peace offering...

God_of_6strings posted...

Passive aggressive is acceptable sometimes.

It never really is, no

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I guess therein lies the rub.

But I also don't want to put my siblings in a bind.

hockeybub89 posted...

I guess therein lies the rub.

But I also don't want to put my siblings in a bind.

Take them with you. Ditch your hateful and uncaring mother until she stops being a petulant child

This topic is too real for me.

I mean, these people's personalities are literally just carbon copies of each other. It's baffling they can accuse anyone else of being brainwashed. I can just hear this exact thing coming out of my mums mouth.

ugh why am I such a wuss about this?

hockeybub89 posted...

ugh why am I such a wuss about this?

I kind of know how you feel, my mom was extremely homophobic when I was little, one time when I was like 7 or 8 she told me stop acting like a f*g, when I didn't even know what that was.

I know now it was all just out of fear, growing up in KY, she didn't know how to deal with having a gay kid, and she was just afraid of how hard she thought my life was going to be.

She has grown a lot, she loves my man who I've been with since 2014, my stepdad has grown too, they accept us now and would fight to protect our rights. All this to say there is hope for some people, not all people, but some yes.

And to clarify, I meant firstly about just having the guts to lay everything on the table. I'll cross the moving out bridge if this turns irreconcilable.