Current Events > I'm a trans CEgal, ask me anything!

(+) Yeah! (+)

A little early this month, but I intend to do absolutely nothing today, so give me attention! Tell me about your day or your Thanksgiving or whatever too. Some highlights from the past month:

-I've started the ball rolling on applying to grad school. Recommendations might be tricky for me: I've historically been bad at networking because I used to think I wasn't worth anyone's time.

-I worked all five days before Thanksgiving. We closed at 10 on Monday and 11 on Tuesday and Wednesday, though at least Bakery has staffing and we were doubled up on closers: closed with my young, funny Asian girl coworker Saturday and Wednesday, and with my lovely enby coworker Monday and Tuesday - Sunday I had a midshift. I'm still recovering from that insanity: I must have packed out like a hundred pies, and that's just the pies *I* packed out lol.

-I kind of want to do something fun with a few of my classmates after the semester. The one I have a crush on, the neato art teacher, and young Black lady with the freckles. I feel close to all of them. Just in general, I feel seen and accepted by my classmates.

-Honestly a bit haunted by the Club Q shooting. I fear it's going to get worse before it gets better. *If* it gets better.
Even so, I'm very much on the "death before detransition" bandwagon.

Am I pretty?

What's it like being a trans seagull?

Lol, see what I did there?

Anyways, keep on doing you. Don't let anyone or anything keep you down.

I hereby present you with one attention.

I ended up alone Thanksgiving. Didnt even eat all day. Shame used to be my favorite holiday

When did you truly know how you felt?

I was about 14 (20+ years ago now) when I started to wonder about myself, but my friends saw it much earlier than me and I had shown signs to them, and this was in the late 90s/early 00s. I always related to and felt more in tune with female characters, and I'd always create and play as a woman in games, etc..

I, personally, won't ever transition, physically, because it's not 100% perfect and I'd only consider it if they could actually put my consciousness in a true biological female body. I'm sure this is frowned upon, but I respect those who transition, so I would like the same respect for my belief as to why I choose not to. I have other outlets to express who I am, and those have always worked out for me.

Anyway... sorry for being wordy in your topic, but I'm sure you understand expressing these things get a person nostalgic and a bit emotional lol

You hot?

chaos_knight posted...

You hot?

nahh, mayonaise

Kitt posted...

Am I pretty?

Pics?

Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...

What's it like being a trans seagull?

Lol, see what I did there?

Anyways, keep on doing you. Don't let anyone or anything keep you down.

It's a lot like being a regular seagull: just surviving off what the sea and McDonald's parking lots provide.

Sufferedphoneix posted...

I ended up alone Thanksgiving. Didnt even eat all day. Shame used to be my favorite holiday

I'm sorry about that. It's tough to be alone, especially during the Holidays when you're bombarded by images and themes of togetherness and community.

kinetika_ posted...

When did you truly know how you felt?

I was about 14 (20+ years ago now) when I started to wonder about myself, but my friends saw it much earlier than me and I had shown signs to them, and this was in the late 90s/early 00s. I always related to and felt more in tune with female characters, and I'd always create and play as a woman in games, etc..

I, personally, won't ever transition, physically, because it's not 100% perfect and I'd only consider it if they could actually put my consciousness in a true biological female body. I'm sure this is frowned upon, but I respect those who transition, so I would like the same respect for my belief as to why I choose not to. I have other outlets to express who I am, and those have always worked out for me.

Anyway... sorry for being wordy in your topic, but I'm sure you understand expressing these things get a person nostalgic and a bit emotional lol

Making the perfect the enemy of the good won't make you happy, I promise you that. Don't sell the power of hormones short.

And I was probably 5 or 6 when I got jealous of my little sister because my Oma painted her nails.

chaos_knight posted...

You hot?

That's a very subjective measure, but my girlfriend definitely thinks so. She won't shut up about it, lying flatterer that she is.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

I'm sorry about that. It's tough to be alone, especially during the Holidays when you're bombarded by images and themes of togetherness and community

Yeah I actually considered going to work. But nah

Do you also desire the power of the azure?

your thoughts on text RP?

Which brand of beef jerky do you buy

What's your favorite gen 9 pokemon?

I like Pawmot

MedeaLysistrata posted...

your thoughts on text RP?

I used to play simRTK, which was fun enough.
For some reason, I was more invested in RPing when I was RPing a female character...I wonder why?
MrResetti posted...

Which brand of beef jerky do you buy

I'm not very discerning, for better and for worse, but beef jerky is my go-to snack for long flights and train rides.
Crimsoness posted...

What's your favorite gen 9 pokemon?

I like Pawmot

I haven't played gen 9 yet, and don't know much about the roster of new 'mons. I'm not even sure I'm going to get it: I skipped Sword/Shield entirely.

have you ever eaten goose?

What is my reputation to you?

ElatedVenusaur posted...

I used to play simRTK, which was fun enough.
For some reason, I was more invested in RPing when I was RPing a female character...I wonder why?

I like playing a mix of both usually. I want to get a plot going but none of my friends want to... I just looked up simRTK and it seemed cool.

VampireCoyote posted...

have you ever eaten goose?

I haven't, but I definitely would like to try it. Problem is, it's hard to find anywhere that sells it as anything but a whole entire goose.

Cobra1010 posted...

What is my reputation to you?

You don't even have a tag. So at least it's not negative.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

I like playing a mix of both usually. I want to get a plot going but none of my friends want to... I just looked up simRTK and it seemed cool.

It was fun. Romance of the Three Kingdoms II was actually my first ever strategy game, so it was part of me falling in love with history too.

Does my gf know I'm poopin

Smackems posted...

Does my gf know I'm poopin

I guarantee it. Women have weirdly stronger senses of smell. And that must be...hormonally-derived? because I notice the smell of way more things more acutely. Like flowers, but also pee. And body odor.

tremain07 posted...

Do you also desire the power of the azure?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/2/6/AAPV5JAAD7Ae.jpg

What do you think of Bleach the anime?

tremain07 posted... Do you also desire the power of the azure?

Genuinely missed this, but it sure is a pretty color. I love blues and blue-greens.

tripleh213 posted...

What do you think of Bleach the anime?

Never watched it. Unlike 95% of the trans community, I am not big on anime.

As a fellow transitioning-to-girl CEgal, I'm here for you EV!

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Genuinely missed this, but it sure is a pretty color. I love blues and blue-greens.

Never watched it. Unlike 95% of the trans community, I am not big on anime.

smh

Shoe on head picture for proof.

Are you the one that has topless pics on discord?

If we exclude the physical body. What exactly makes a man a man and a woman a woman?

Cobra1010 posted...

If we exclude the physical body. What exactly makes a man a man and a woman a woman?

It's the way you feel inside more than anything external. It's hard to describe. I can "feel" male and I can "feel" female and although I retain the same personality and mannerisms, it somehow changes the way I view the world and how I want the world to view me.

DarkRoast posted...

As a fellow transitioning-to-girl CEgal, I'm here for you EV!

I was glad to see your topic. Take care of yourself, okay?

Skype posted...

Shoe on head picture for proof.

Wow, that takes me back!
I can't believe anyone put a fucking shoe on their head, honestly. The bottoms of shoes are pretty gross!

Dessan posted...

Are you the one that has topless pics on discord?

LOL no. Not that my breasts aren't spectacular, but I'm pretty much the only one who has seen them. Not even the doctor nor the girlfriend have. And I haven't taken any spicy selfies either!

Cobra1010 posted...

If we exclude the physical body. What exactly makes a man a man and a woman a woman?

LOL nice loaded question there buddy. I'm sure you're asking the Matt Walsh in good faith!

Thank you for the kind words, EV :)
I'm doing much better. Getting a therapist helped a lot, especially because I talk to her about both my pregnancy and my transition. I'm excited for you, though!

Do you recognize me at all? Thoughts on me?

EV, I was pretty bothered by the Q shooting too. Me being in a lesbian marriage and all. These people are fully unhinged in ways I never would've imagined. We need to stay strong, though! I've got a child to raise and you've got school to do!

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Honestly a bit haunted by the Club Q shooting.

Yeah... I've been trying to build up the courage to actually come out to my friends, but that definitely made me reconsider if it was the right time.

googs19 posted...

Yeah... I've been trying to build up the courage to actually come out to my friends, but that definitely made me reconsider if it was the right time.

I live in Oklahoma... this is a bad place to be gay. But I'm trying my best to stay positive because pregnancy comes with enough emotional issues on its own lol.

DarkRoast posted...

I live in Oklahoma... this is a bad place to be gay. But I'm trying my best to stay positive because pregnancy comes with enough emotional issues on its own lol.

Yeah, at least Minnesota isn't bad as far as legal policies are concerned, but it's not like anywhere really feels safe.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/0/8/AAc53qAAD6tc.jpg
What's the last thing you did that you'd liken to this image?

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Do you recognize me at all? Thoughts on me?

I don't, no, sorry. I have a bad memory.

DarkRoast posted...

EV, I was pretty bothered by the Q shooting too. Me being in a lesbian marriage and all. These people are fully unhinged in ways I never would've imagined. We need to stay strong, though! I've got a child to raise and you've got school to do!

Right, I did talk about it with my girlfriend (who grew up in Jackson, MS - not exactly a great place to be an out-lesbian) and that helped. I'll definitely be bringing it up with my therapist this week too (we meet on Thursdays, so we haven't met since before the shooting).
I feel like I should get CPR and first-aid training. You know, just in case....

googs19 posted...

Yeah... I've been trying to build up the courage to actually come out to my friends, but that definitely made me reconsider if it was the right time.

googs19 posted...

Yeah, at least Minnesota isn't bad as far as legal policies are concerned, but it's not like anywhere really feels safe.

It's honestly pretty scary out there these days, but our elders survived worse. I always try to remember that.
No matter how hard they try, they'll never get rid of us. Whether you come out and do what you want to do now or wait, you'll always be valid. Hopefully we can fight back this tide of hate.

gunplagirl posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/0/8/AAc53qAAD6tc.jpg
What's the last thing you did that you'd liken to this image?

Whoops, fat-fingered the "post" button, so I'm editing this in.

My professor is honestly a dirtbag left type, so blurting out that the Russians are even more fascist than the Ukrainians was in response to him stating the Ukrainians have out-and-out Nazis fighting for them (which, to be fair, is true: the Azov Battalion is avowedly fascist. But, then, so is the Russian-employed Wagner Group. The name isn't even subtle about it, either!) definitely such a moment. It didn't get ugly, but considering I need this dude to write me a rec for school, I don't want to antagonize him right now.

EV, I've started to find the humor in the fact that I'm genetically female but I know less about being female than all the trans females here (it had me really embarrassed at first). I look up to you girls so much, you and gunplagirl and sayoria... you girls may not have known it but you gave me the strength to reject the life I'd lived for so long. And I just wanted to say thanks :)

You're all much better girls than I am... but I'm glad to be among your company. I want to learn from you all.

Here is the attention you wanted TC?

TC is awesome, leave her alone

DarkRoast posted...

EV, I've started to find the humor in the fact that I'm genetically female but I know less about being female than all the trans females here (it had me really embarrassed at first). I look up to you girls so much, you and gunplagirl and sayoria... you girls may not have known it but you gave me the strength to reject the life I'd lived for so long. And I just wanted to say thanks :)

You're all much better girls than I am... but I'm glad to be among your company. I want to learn from you all.

Shortly before I came out, I read The Disordered Cosmos: A Journey Into Dark Matter, Spacetime, and Dreams Deferred by Chanda Prescod-Weinstein, who is a Black Jewish agender astrophysicist. The book is this winding thing: part physics book, part sociology book, and part autobiography, and in it she meditates on her relation to gender - or her lack of one. She basically presents as a woman and uses she/her pronouns because it's the easiest way for her to present herself as an AFAB person.

The other book that really expanded my mind a little, which I saved for after I had come out, was The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy. Mona is like fire given life (or, perhaps, simply Sekhmet Incarnate): she warms and nurtures even as she viciously scours her foes. It's psychological, sociological, unapologetically feminist and pretty autobiographical. I unironically want to be like Mona when I grow up.

The last book I read before class was Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution by Susan Stryker, a trans woman and sociologist. It's about the modern trans movement in the United States, and really well-researched and written.

These three books just really opened my mind to the possibilities for my own presentation and helped me place myself, if that makes sense. I have two Julia Serrano books to read: Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity and Excluded: Making the Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive, both of which are supposed to be really good.

My girlfriend seems to delight in my self-exploration and growth, and has been majorly supportive of me through this time.

SteelGoats posted...

Here is the attention you wanted TC?

Thank you for bumping my topic, I guess.

I will find those books and read them. This has been a pretty confusing journey so far for me, but asking help from people like you who are further along that journey helps a lot.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

I have two Julia Serrano books to read: Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity and Excluded: Making the Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive,

I really enjoyed Whipping Girl, though it's also the first book on the subject I read after realizing I was trans so that may have impacted me more than if I had read other stuff first. While a lot of what she went through was more extreme than my own life, there were so many parts where I thought about how different my life might have turned out if I had read the book 15 years before I did.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution by Susan Stryker

I just finished that one recently and thought it was a great read for putting the struggles trans people go through today into a deeper historical context.

Is this a good time to mention that I talked to my girlfriend for a solid two hours today? We were talking about the Middletown area and how my sister got married around there, and she goes, "Well, it's probably a much nicer place to get married than <that place on the shitty beach we walk along a lot>" and I almost joked that I thought we were going to get married there.

And the very next thing out of her mouth was, "Of course, that's probably where we'll get married. We've spent so much time on that beach." And it's true: that's the beach we walked along the first time we met in person, the beach she gave me her jacket in the rain on, the beach where I first wore a bathing suit and she wore hers and walked through the water with me....uhhhh, God, I love this woman!
If only she were healthy, she would be perfect...

How do you feel about boobs? I think they're neat.

Crimsoness posted...

How do you feel about boobs? I think they're neat.

I love the visceral experience of having them. You just can't forget that they're there. Every gentle bob and sway reminds me that I have boobs, and that makes me happy.

They're also aesthetically pleasing, feel nice, and are sexy in many contexts. My girlfriend has nice little boobs. One of the most randomly affirming things she said to me was, "You have big boobies, EV!" They're BBs, which is to say that they're way ahead of schedule in terms of development: in fact, they're already larger than average for a trans girl, IIRC.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Is this a good time to mention that I talked to my girlfriend for a solid two hours today? We were talking about the Middletown area and how my sister got married around there, and she goes, "Well, it's probably a much nicer place to get married than <that place on the shitty beach we walk along a lot>" and I almost joked that I thought we were going to get married there.

And the very next thing out of her mouth was, "Of course, that's probably where we'll get married. We've spent so much time on that beach." And it's true: that's the beach we walked along the first time we met in person, the beach she gave me her jacket in the rain on, the beach where I first wore a bathing suit and she wore hers and walked through the water with me....uhhhh, God, I love this woman!
If only she were healthy, she would be perfect...

When you're with the right one, it hits you at some point. I spent my whole life dating guys and only dated my wife just to experiment. But she's so beautiful, smart, perfect.... Before I even called myself a lesbian I accepted her proposal.

I screamed yes without even letting her finish her proposal. This was before anyone even knew I was lesbian.

She's still literally and un-ironically the hottest girl I've ever met