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Current Events > She's finally moving in! - What's the etiquette on bills etc?

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SHRlKE
11/10/22 6:03:40 PM
#1:


Bit of back story. Female I was seeing wants to move in. She finally left her partner and coming to stay with me. I was getting worried a few weeks back when people said shed never leave him but here we are.

Is it fair to expect her to cover half the rent and bills? Im going to end up needing to pay it regardless of if shes here or not so it seems weird to ask her to contribute but Ive not been in this situation before.
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TaylorHeinicke
11/10/22 6:04:42 PM
#2:


It's definitely fair.

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CellBlock7
11/10/22 6:05:20 PM
#3:


Did you break up a relationship?

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s0nicfan
11/10/22 6:05:27 PM
#4:


That is 100% something you should have worked out before she decided to move in. Now it doesn't really matter what's fair, it's going to come down to what was assumed and what was communicated.

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Smackems
11/10/22 6:05:39 PM
#5:


And what about when she does that to you

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#6
Post #6 was unavailable or deleted.
FL81
11/10/22 6:05:57 PM
#7:


SHRlKE posted...
Is it fair to expect her to cover half the rent and bills?
Yes. If she can't pay it, be prepared to kick her out.

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SHRlKE
11/10/22 6:07:55 PM
#8:


CellBlock7 posted...
Did you break up a relationship?

No. The dude was an ass apparently so he deserved it.
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DoesntMatter
11/10/22 6:09:16 PM
#9:


so, you were seeing a women who was already in a relationship, i'm guessing living with her partner, and she cheats on them with you, and then "finally" leaves them and wants to immediately move in with you, without you guys even discussing how the split of living expenses would work first?

yikes. just yikes.

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SHRlKE
11/10/22 6:09:51 PM
#10:


DoesntMatter posted...
so, you were seeing a women who was already in a relationship, i'm guessing living with her partner, and she cheats on them with you, and then "finally" leaves them and wants to immediately move in with you, without you guys even discussing how the split of living expenses would work first?

yikes. just yikes.

weve been talking about it for a while its not a sudden thing.
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TeaMilk
11/10/22 6:10:45 PM
#11:


SHRlKE posted...
Female I was seeing


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MarcoRubio
11/10/22 6:11:12 PM
#12:


Dumb as fuck topic

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Flockaveli
11/10/22 6:11:58 PM
#13:


Is this another one of your Joke Topics. Yes.
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AngelsNAirwav3s
11/10/22 6:12:57 PM
#14:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/4/2/AANRQlAAD3hS.jpg

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TheGoldenEel
11/10/22 6:13:29 PM
#15:


SHRlKE posted...
Female
lol @ tc

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Schwarz
11/10/22 6:13:52 PM
#16:


TeaMilk posted...


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Kitt
11/10/22 6:14:47 PM
#17:


This is totally a thing that's happening.

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cjsdowg
11/10/22 6:16:57 PM
#18:


You talk to her about this before she movies in. This isn't something to talk about later.

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12amMadman
11/10/22 6:24:54 PM
#19:


You should propose first tbh

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Setfree
11/10/22 6:32:10 PM
#20:


ok first of all this situation is HILARIOUS, i wish you consulted me first before it got to this point. secondly idk is she paying the bills at her current bf's place? bet she's not. bet she's not gonna want to pay bills at your place either. i really hope that this situation isn't as bad as it sounds
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SHRlKE
11/10/22 6:33:10 PM
#21:


Setfree posted...
ok first of all this situation is HILARIOUS, i wish you consulted me first before it got to this point. secondly idk is she paying the bills at her current bf's place? bet she's not. bet she's not gonna want to pay bills at your place either. i really hope that this situation isn't as bad as it sounds

yeah should have spoken about it first but shes moving in at the weekend so its a bit late now sigh.
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cuttin_in_farm
11/10/22 6:33:56 PM
#22:


SHRlKE posted...
yeah should have spoken about it first but shes moving in at the weekend so its a bit late now sigh.

No, its not too late actually. Shes not on the lease.

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SHRlKE
11/10/22 6:34:56 PM
#23:


What should I do then? I dont want her to get cold feet and not move in.
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cuttin_in_farm
11/10/22 6:37:55 PM
#24:


SHRlKE posted...
What should I do then? I dont want her to get cold feet and not move in.

You should do what you want to do. Not follow some assumed norm.

If youre cool with her paying nothing, thats fine.

If you want her to chip in on only utilities, do so.

Etc.

Just dont ever try to hold it against her in a future conflict if you didnt establish her having to pay half or something.

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MixedRaceBaby
11/10/22 6:38:17 PM
#25:


SHRlKE posted...
Female
UH OHHH

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Solid_Sonic
11/10/22 6:39:14 PM
#26:


You're asking NOW? Have you run this by her at some point?

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Phantom36
11/10/22 6:39:18 PM
#27:


s0nicfan posted...
That is 100% something you should have worked out before she decided to move in. Now it doesn't really matter what's fair, it's going to come down to what was assumed and what was communicated.

Accurate tbh

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Mr_hulk88
11/10/22 6:39:23 PM
#28:


SHRlKE posted...
What should I do then? I dont want her to get cold feet and not move in.

I think whats right at this point is not bring it up now, frankly I find it weird and not romantic.

After a month has passed I am very sure this matter will come up. Then you can "discuss" it.
Basically not pressure coming from you directly but a talk that will organically start. The apartment was yours already and you have to pay for it regardless.

In short, don't do anyhting now. Let things settle and wait for her to bring up paying the expenses electricity or something in the next days or weeks.
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WrestlinFan
11/10/22 6:42:24 PM
#29:


This situation seems a bit unstable TC. Better knock her up and have a kid with her, I think that will simplify things.

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DoesntMatter
11/10/22 6:43:15 PM
#30:


WrestlinFan posted...
This situation seems a bit unstable TC. Better knock her up and have a kid with her, I think that will simplify things.
lol

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Mr_hulk88
11/10/22 6:43:31 PM
#31:


WrestlinFan posted...
This situation seems a bit unstable TC. Better knock her up and have a kid with her, I think that will simplify things.
Plus adopt 2 aditional babies and 2 dogs. I think that would also help.
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Blue_Inigo
11/10/22 6:43:38 PM
#32:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/1/9/AAaaLFAADzzb.jpg

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SHRlKE
11/10/22 6:43:54 PM
#33:


Mr_hulk88 posted...
I think whats right at this point is not bring it up now, frankly I find it weird and not romantic.

After a month has passed I am very sure this matter will come up. Then you can "discuss" it.
Basically not pressure coming from you directly but a talk that will organically start. The apartment was yours already and you have to pay for it regardless.

In short, don't do anyhting now. Let things settle and wait for her to bring up paying the expenses electricity or something in the next days or weeks.

probably the option Ill end up going with tbh
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noisetank
11/10/22 6:44:17 PM
#34:


yikes

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Strider102
11/10/22 6:44:40 PM
#35:


This is the quality content that keeps me coming back to CE.

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Aressar
11/10/22 6:45:45 PM
#36:


Would you allow your live-in female to pay part of your bills?

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Aridi
11/10/22 6:46:12 PM
#37:


You should at least inform her that she's dating CE, apparently.

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SHRlKE
11/10/22 6:47:04 PM
#38:


Aressar posted...
Would you allow your live-in female to pay part of your bills?

yeah of course. Tbh I barely make rent and bills as it is so it will be useful if she would start contributing if things go well
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Pitlord_Special
11/10/22 6:47:13 PM
#39:


Vague expectations and ambiguous communication is the foundation of a prosperous relationship

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Naysaspace
11/10/22 6:47:49 PM
#40:


unless you earn like 3x as much, then yeah split everything. Just make sure she isn't....yknow, "Staying with you" rather than "moving in with you". but based on the topic thus far, sounds like she's going to assume she's "staying with you" and pay nothing

then one day she'll go to the store for cigarettes

you know how that story goes
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creativeme
11/10/22 6:58:22 PM
#41:


not gonna tell us the rest of the story? like are you together? plan to be together? or is this just a friend and not gonna be more than that? like just because you dated before doesn't mean she's still interested but probably likely unless she pretty much had nowhere else to go.

then depends on her job and stuff. half should be expected but she could just think she's moving in with you for free. definitely should have been discussed ahead of time.

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Dan_Haren-
11/10/22 7:06:55 PM
#42:


s0nicfan posted...
That is 100% something you should have worked out before she decided to move in. Now it doesn't really matter what's fair, it's going to come down to what was assumed and what was communicated.

I agree with this.

If its your fiance or long-term partner where there is a mutual understanding that you're headed to the path of marriage...then I think its okay for her to move in and not pay costs.

Otherwise I would charge her according to how close we are. Still a fresh couple, it might be a more even split...but she pay 40% of rent + no bills. If we're an more stable long term couple it might be 33% + no bills.

But of course this is with the asterisk that you are vigilant on whether you are getting taken advantage of.
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DCinGA
11/10/22 7:07:55 PM
#43:


She have a job TC?

As alluded to earlier, it's a Red Flag if she wasn't paying her part with the previous dude
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I4NRulez
11/10/22 7:19:22 PM
#44:


Strider102 posted...
This is the quality content that keeps me coming back to CE.

My favorite part about these topics is that there's always 1 or 2 people that always say stuff like "HEY OP DONT LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE DO WHAT YTOU WANT!" when its just people giving sane and rational advice.

Good luck TC. These always end badly.

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Smackems
11/10/22 7:21:51 PM
#45:


This board's obsession with people saying female is fucking weird

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Slaya4
11/10/22 7:37:09 PM
#46:


Don't let this bitch move in. Don't be a simp bro. You cant be this dry for some wet.

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Prismsblade
11/10/22 7:43:58 PM
#47:


Assuming this isnt a troll topic does she have a decent job? If so idk why you wouldn't.

But if not then either be prepare to care for her, or give her a grace period to find some kind and work and just pay what she can for the time being.

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Zonbei
11/10/22 7:50:51 PM
#48:


SHRlKE posted...
Bit of back story. Female I was seeing wants to move in. She finally left her partner and coming to stay with me. I was getting worried a few weeks back when people said shed never leave him but here we are.

Is it fair to expect her to cover half the rent and bills? Im going to end up needing to pay it regardless of if shes here or not so it seems weird to ask her to contribute but Ive not been in this situation before.

calls women females
other person left partner to move in
this is going to go well.

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Trumpo
11/10/22 7:58:49 PM
#49:


Congratulations on your freeloader

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GreenMario
11/10/22 8:05:48 PM
#50:


The first step is not calling her a female, that's weird

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