Board 8 > Could Donkey Kong defeat the T-800 (Terminator) in a fight?

(+) Yeah! (+)

as nominated by @plasmabeam

Arguments for the T-800:

• it is a merciless, single-minded machine bent on achieving its objective at all costs
• it can survive high impact situations like car crashes and explosions
• it comes with built-in weapons mastery

Arguments for DK:

• he is a merciless, single-minded organism bent on achieving his objective at all costs
• he packs higher impact than a car crash or an explosion
• if DK shoots the T-800, he'll be back

Last topic DK got GANNONBANNED and can no longer post on Zelda forums. Today is ape vs. machine, the most classic of rivalries. Does DK have what it takes to terminate the Terminator, or is this action movie star going to get the best of our hero?

One thing I learned from years of trading card games is that apes always smash robots and machines effectively. DK wins.

First thought is that the T-800 wins because of future tech, but I don't recall what kind of durability it has.

https://youtu.be/zu0rP2VWLWw

Terminators are surprisingly less durable than they look. If DK lands just one solid punch, he'll probably break it.

The only question I have is if he can land that punch. If he can get in close enough, it's a stomp in favor of DK at melee range.

Does T-800 have guns, or is this a scenario where it just travelled back in time and thus has no weapons?

How close is DK to a lava pit? If the T-800 warps back in time and finds DK in a volcano level or a factory level with machines that can crush the T-800, DK has a decent shot.

Otherwise I'm taking the T-800.

Xeybozn posted...

Does T-800 have guns, or is this a scenario where it just travelled back in time and thus has no weapons?

Up to you!

If Conker can beat a terminator, Donkey Kong sure as Hell can.

Up!

I don't mean to cop out but I think the scenario needs more fleshing out

Like is DK Sarah Connor or is he Kyle Reese here. Basically is the target or someone trying to stop the Terminator from getting his target.

DK wins if the latter due to being strong enough to crumple him and plausibly able to get the jump, loses if the former due to the T-800 picking smarter weaponry and strategy for the task.

Clearly the Terminator is out to eradicate the banana horde.

huh, pretty low energy topic

Dk COULD win

rwlh posted...

huh, pretty low energy topic

Well, like others have said, this is one that's pretty dependent on the conditions of the fight.

rwlh posted...

Clearly the Terminator is out to eradicate the banana horde.

Well then clearly, Terminator wins.

DK is terrible at protecting his bananas, which means Terminator will complete his mission and return to the future before DK even knows what happened. Therefore, DK will be an old man by the time he gets to actually fight Terminator, and he's no Cranky.

EDIT: Wait, can Terminator return to the future? I forget. If not then maybe DK does win because Terminator would have no further reason to fight. But then maybe because of that, Terminator would self destruct on DK and thus nobody wins.

See that's the real thing

If Terminator is out to kill DK then he's coming to fight him as a young-un we haven't really seen in combat or he's coming to fight Cranky before he sires him or something else.

It's just a weird fight to think about!

In that case, there's Baby Donkey Kong!

https://www.mariowiki.com/Baby_Donkey_Kong

Powers and abilities
The DK Dash Attack

Baby Donkey Kong is the most powerful out of all the babies. He is capable of bashing large clumps of rocks in Yoshi's Island DS. This maneuver is called the DK Dash Attack. While on Yoshi's back, he can grab on to vines and help Yoshi climb up them. There is also swinging vines that Baby DK can grab that swings Yoshi. His eggs explode on contact with all walls, collecting or destroying anything in the blast radius. Though he is the most powerful, Baby Donkey Kong is also the heaviest baby. While Yoshi runs with him on his back, they move much slower. In Mario Super Sluggers, he is the best batter out of all the babies, as his batting ratings are a 6 out of 10. He is also the best fielder out of all the babies, as his fielding ratings stay at an 8 out of 10. Along with the Kongs, his fielding specialty is the Clamber, which allows him to climb up a wall in order to prevent a possible home run.

So what the fight is most likely here

Yoshi = Kyle Reese
Baby Donkey Kong = Sarah Connor

Now it plays out more like could Yoshi with Baby Donkey Kong beat the T-800 and I feel like the answer to that is definitely no, but I think T-800 wins just going straight for Donkey Kong too. But there are reasons this could be more directly Donkey Kong vs T-800 with T-800 out to destroy the banana horde or whatever else, and in those situations DK wins.

So it still really boils down to whether the Terminator is coming to kill Donkey Kong or not. I feel like it's better form to assume he is, but the answer is COULD DK win and I do think he COULD in many scenarios as long as he wasn't the direct target for termination.

If the goal is to answer is DK could defeat the Terminator from the first movie in a fight, I think we have to assume the target is DK, III or whomever is Junior's offspring. If Junior is the target, he's not really in the fight. (Or you're letting Cranky go by his original moniker.)

Sidenote: if Cranky fought Mario back in the 80s, how come he ages and Mario doesn't? I concede gorillas have a life expectancy of about half that of humans, but that's still kinda weird, unless Cranky was already toward the end of his middle adulthood and only maybe 10 years of in-universe time has gone by.

Anyway, my initial assumption for this is that the Terminator takes this. The circumstances do matter, but in the way I'm framing this, Arnold wrecks.

Anyone else?