Poll of the Day > "Calm down."

(+) Yeah! (+)

Well?

I'm almost always making a conscious effort to not get upset in an argument/difficult situation, so if I actually get there then I probably feel like it's worth getting upset over.

Tone also counts; if it's said in a mocking way that's obviously insincere then it'll never work. If someone's acting upset on the internet or something, I usually just say something like "maybe take it down just a notch."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crgHkjcBm_o

I usually find it a bit validating, it takes a lot to get me going and I'm usually one to have problems getting my point across because I come off as emotionally "dead" and uncaring.

I've always thought of "calm down," as "whatever it is you think is worth all this hullabaloo, it's not, so quit it," which is invalidating.

I reach into my pocket and show them these babies
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/7/1/8/AAfSRzAADn3W.jpg

Where's the "depends on the context" option?

I don't believe anyone has ever told me to calm down in my entire adult life, for better or worse.

Solid_Sonic posted...

Well?

I react like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv5yvtR5S1I

I find it patronising depending the tone so it can get more more riled up. However I'm very rarely at the stage where I'm riled up in the first place so not many have told me to calm down.
Edit: I should specify I'm talking about real life here. I don't care about words on a screen when it comes to the internet.

Depends entirely on context.

If I'm just getting mildly irritated or nervous or upset and someone is like "All right, calm down, we'll sort this out" then I'm fine.

But if I've been getting riled up and am kind of yelling a bit because of how annoyed I am, and the person I'm mad at says something like "Calm down, the neighbors/bystanders will hear", then my brain is going to interpret that as "I care more about what other people think than I give a shit about your problems," at which point I'm probably going to deliberately get louder as a sort of fuck you to the person I'm arguing with. Same goes for situations where I have genuine concerns or issues and the person I'm talking to says something like "I don't want to fight about this" as a means of shutting down the conversation (leaving everything unaddressed and ignored). Divisiveness is annoying because it implies the other person doesn't really care about you as a person.

My reaction to what people say almost always depends more on how I'm interpreting their intent than on the literal meaning of their words. If you say something nice or polite but there's a bit of venom behind it, I'm going to react poorly. It's one of the reasons why I don't like how two-faced Southerners can be - I'd rather have someone from New York call me an asshole to my face than have someone from Georgia say "Bless your heart!" and then stab me in the back as soon as I turn around. I prefer people who are honest about their opinions and intentions over people who are passive-aggressive or "deceitfully polite".

I have only been told that a few times, generally I try to calm down because that's my general temperament

Take a deep breath and try to relax.

GGuirao13 posted...

Take a deep breath and try to relax.

https://youtu.be/SVi3-PrQ0pY?t=23

I just immediately start punching