Poll of the Day > I got stood up today :(

(+) Yeah! (+)

We were supposed meet at one of the Disney parks and hangout for the day. I got there and just kind of did my own thing for a few hours. She then texted me apologizing and mentioned she was going to be at the park later and said "maybe" we would run into each other.

So I just did what I wanted to do and left.

Sorry bud

If it makes you feel better I took a hour train ride to meet a chick and she was a no show

And this was before text messages and social media

feelsbad

It's rough being a dude in the dating market

Did they think they were Frankie Valli or some kind of big shot?
https://youtu.be/nH8uiujwROw

That sucks! You said one of the Disney parks. Is that land or world, or are there other smaller ones? Ive been to land a few times. Materhorn, space mountain, splash mountain, pirates, Indiana Jones, and jungle cruise were all pretty good. Haven't been in ages.

Idk why girls do shit like this.

At least have the fucking common courtesy to let people know early that youre not gonna go so that they can make other plans or something.

rexcrk posted...

Idk why girls do shit like this.

At least have the fucking common courtesy to let people know early that youre not gonna go so that they can make other plans or something.

people do this - not just 'girls'. try not to project it entirely on women. all people are guilty of this and could do better. it's life and it's best to try and let go of it and find people that respect your time/at least let you know if they're getting cold feet or are busy pre-emptively.

joemodda posted...

feelsbad

It's rough being a dude in the dating market

this one too - try to eliminate this whole 'it's rough being a dude in the dating market' mentality, because it's unappealing. the dating market is a hellhole for everyone, and I can tell you that the 'roughness' of the dating market is very real for women.

ReturnOfFa posted...

people do this - not just 'girls'. try not to project it entirely on women. all people are guilty of this and could do better. it's life and it's best to try and let go of it and find people that respect your time/at least let you know if they're getting cold feet or are busy pre-emptively.

this one too - try to eliminate this whole 'it's rough being a dude in the dating market' mentality, because it's unappealing. the dating market is a hellhole for everyone, and I can tell you that the 'roughness' of the dating market is very real for women.

Roughness for women doesn't erase the roughness for men. Women have it a lot easier in the dating scene than men do.

THEGODDAMNBATMA posted...

Women have it a lot easier in the dating scene than men do.

This is not true. Women have to deal with a lot of sexist and abusive men out there.

THEGODDAMNBATMA posted...

Women have it a lot easier in the dating scene than men do.

Can you explain specifically how?

GameLord113 posted...

This is not true. Women have to deal with a lot of sexist and abusive men out there.

and then they take all of that anger and let it out on the kind, gentle guys.

Jen0125 posted...

Can you explain specifically how?

well for one, women have a much bigger list of pickings as far as online dating goes. If youre an average or below looking guy, you dont stand a chance on the apps.

SonyMichel posted...

well for one, women have a much bigger list of pickings as far as online dating goes. If youre an average or below looking guy, you dont stand a chance on the apps.

You understand that the global population is nearly equal for men and women? How do women have MORE choice? And why does having more choice to you mean they have a better time dating?

SonyMichel posted...

and then they take all of that anger and let it out on the kind, gentle guys.

Oh he's just a "nice guy" lmao nevermind.

THEGODDAMNBATMA posted...

Women have it a lot easier in the dating scene than men do.

I actually agree with you for once.

This topic is gonna be fun

Cacciato posted...

This topic is gonna be fun

I'll get modded for this but it's always guys who don't take care of themselves, have very niche hobbies they're obsessed with, low hygiene, and are misogynistic that think it's so much easier for women in general to date.

Newsflash, just because you're not having luck doesn't mean it's everyone else's fault. Every pot has a lid. I've seen the ugliest, smelliest people find partners. It's you. You're the problem. Self reflect instead of blaming others.

Jen0125 posted...

I'll get modded for this but it's always guys who don't take care of themselves, have very niche hobbies they're obsessed with, low hygiene, and are misogynistic that think it's so much easier for women in general to date.

Newsflash, just because you're not having luck doesn't mean it's everyone else's fault. Every pot has a lid. I've seen the ugliest, smelliest people find partners. It's you. You're the problem. Self reflect instead of blaming others.

100%

When men have a shared common rationally founded fear of being raped and murdered by a woman they are about to go on a date with I'll let them say they have it equally as bad as women.

And @SonyMichel how many average or below average (aka ugly) women do you try to date? Are you actively trying to date the ugly women? Or do you have your own standards?

Damn crickets all of a sudden can't imagine why

sucks you got stood up, but whats up with the mad incel energy in this thread

rexcrk posted...

Idk why girls do shit like this.

Ive never been stood up once in my life. Maybe women doing this to you has more to do with you than it does with them?

SonyMichel posted...

and then they take all of that anger and let it out on the kind, gentle guys.

r/niceguys

Eh, rollercoasters are heckin' fun.

Jen0125 posted...

When men have a shared common rationally founded fear of being raped and murdered by a woman they are about to go on a date with I'll let them say they have it equally as bad as women.

man fears being laughed at, women fear being raped, tortured and murdered (or worse) there is a definite imbalance of power even before "hello"

Personally I want to find a woman about a foot and a half taller then me and is into Dragon Ball Z*; couple costume of Krillin and Android 18 is a goal.

hungrymike posted...

Is that land or world, or are there other smaller ones?

I assume it's the one they work at.

Did TC ask out a coworker, a local or a guest.

_

*Gwendoline Christie has not responded to my letters. I know she is only four or five inches taller then I but I am flexible.

THEGODDAMNBATMA posted...

Roughness for women doesn't erase the roughness for men. Women have it a lot easier in the dating scene than men do.

how many women are you friends with that have discussed this with you?

Maybe it's easier for a woman to get a date, but it's also easier for women to have a terrible date it seems.

You seem to have an inflated sense of the 'roughness' you experience. Being stood up isn't 'rough', it's a basic life occurrence that lets you learn about a person. Something actually being 'rough' would be a guy berating a woman on whether or not she wants to have kids on the first date, something which many women I know have been through.

SonyMichel posted...

well for one, women have a much bigger list of pickings as far as online dating goes. If youre an average or below looking guy, you dont stand a chance on the apps.

Why do you think that having a bigger list of pickings equates to a less terrible time? That isn't really an indicator of whether or not the dating scene itself is 'terrible' or not, and seems to point on the quantity of dates you're receiving as the main determiner of the 'quality' of the dating scene or not. I would suggest that that being your primary indicator will give you a flawed perception of whether or not the dating scene is 'good'. A small town will have a limited dating pool. Does that mean it's 'terrible'? Maybe the majority of people are having good dates. Being frustrated about the quantity of dates you get isn't representative of the quality of the dates generally in the dating scene.

Jen0125 posted...

I'll get modded for this but it's always guys who don't take care of themselves, have very niche hobbies they're obsessed with, low hygiene, and are misogynistic that think it's so much easier for women in general to date.

Newsflash, just because you're not having luck doesn't mean it's everyone else's fault. Every pot has a lid. I've seen the ugliest, smelliest people find partners. It's you. You're the problem. Self reflect instead of blaming others.

Yes, I have never had experiences with women having nasty hygiene. Every woman I know has gone on dates with men who show up expecting to get their dick sucked with a crusty asshole they don't know how to wipe and a smelly piss-hog.

It's very telling that the dudes here think 'more dates = better dating scene'. I have gone on relatively few dates and would consider them awesome dates in a small city with an active dating scene. My female friends get more matches than I do on Tinder. Does that mean they have an 'easier time' in the dating scene? No. They have to sift through a bunch of extremely thirsty little weirdos and idiots who will profess their love and then disappear off the map tomorrow.

Quit the self-victimization dudes, try talking to a woman as a friend before you try to get the nookie. Get stood up? Move on and don't dwell on it. If you get butthurt every time someone bails on you, you'll be butthurt 95% of your life.

is ghosting and being stood up the same thing?

Dmess85 posted...

is ghosting and being stood up the same thing?

I feel like they're basically the same even if we tried to parse the differences. People might suggest 'ghosting' means you've already put a bunch of conversation and maybe some in-person hanging/dating into the situation. Although I can see them both applying to whatever situation I think of.

also I seriously recommend dating NOT through apps. they are just a depression-trap that don't properly emulate real social behaviour

ReturnOfFa posted...

It's very telling that the dudes here think 'more dates = better dating scene'

They want to believe they have no luck because they have a limited dating pool. They don't want the problem to be them lol.

I guarantee that these men making these complaints aren't going for ugly women because they believe they are allowed to have standards while being below average. Which is their prerogative but it's why you have issues. Why would a beautiful, successful and independent woman want to be with a bitter and likely unattractive man?

Jen0125 posted...

They want to believe they have no luck because they have a limited dating pool. They don't want the problem to be them lol.

'hm wow this guy is already complaining about a time he got stood up hmmmm'

i'm not getting dates therefore the dating scene is bad!!!

and just to be clear to OP - you didn't get stood up for any particular reason - it just happened because other humans are busy weirdos that end up re-sorting their priorities on the daily/hourly. you're only making a mistake if you fixate on being stood up for more than 2 minutes. the other dudes in here saying that women 'have it easier when dating' are here to learn from their mistakes lmao.

ReturnOfFa posted...

Every woman I know has gone on dates with men who show up expecting to get their dick sucked with a crusty asshole they don't know how to wipe and a smelly piss-hog.

No you haven't. No woman has said those exact words to you.

Revelation34 posted...

No you haven't. No woman has said those exact words to you.

Why does the wording need to be exact for the sentiment to be common?

Sheesh, leave it to one innocuous comment about the hardships men face in the dating world, and people need to shoehorn in their "women too!" virtue signalling

Jen0125 posted...

Why would a beautiful, successful and independent woman want to be with a bitter and likely unattractive man?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The idea that good-looking people should only date good-looking people (and ugly only ugly) is quite toxic.

rexcrk posted...

Idk why girls do shit like this.

At least have the fucking common courtesy to let people know early that youre not gonna go so that they can make other plans or something.

I don't think women are any less honest than men are. A simpler explanation is that most people are just cowards.

joemodda posted...

Sheesh, leave it to one innocuous comment about the hardships men face in the dating world, and people need to shoehorn in their "women too!" virtue signalling

not really, it's more like trying to spread the idea that men have it harder in the dating world, when in reality, that's not entirely true. I mean, go back and read the topic. i cant believe im even explaining this to you

THEGODDAMNBATMA posted...

Roughness for women doesn't erase the roughness for men

who said it did?

Nichtcrawler-X posted...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The idea that good-looking people should only date good-looking people (and ugly only ugly) is quite toxic.

Good thing I didn't say that lol

Jen0125 posted...

i guarantee that these men making these complaints aren't going for ugly women because they believe they are allowed to have standards while being below average.

Below-average is subjective to begin with and even if it weren't, I'm failing to see how having immutable standards demonstrates that these people are bitter in any way...

LinkFanatic posted...

Below-average is subjective to begin with and even if it weren't, I'm failing to see how having immutable standards demonstrates that these people are bitter in any way...

People who have unrealistic standards based on what they bring to the table is what I see 9/10 when men are complaining about online dating. It's interesting you guys are choosing only the looks comparisons when I've discussed multiple facets of personality when it comes to online dating. A lot of these men are fixated on appearance. You guys have no clue what women deal with on dating apps lol but yes you all have it so hard wah wah

Dating is definitely easier for women given that a majority of men will throw themselves at women and they just have to choose from the options presented as opposed to being the one that has to take action and risk rejection, however, that doesn't mean you should be an incel and hate women. I'm not sure why people here are acting like if you say women have it easier in the dating market that you are automatically a woman hater. Girls have it easier in this 1 case, so what? They have it worse off in a bunch of other ways.

Jen0125 posted...

people who have unrealistic standards based on what they bring to the table is what i see 9/10 when men are complaining about online dating.

I agree actually, but I guess my point is that I don't see how that's a problem; is it because other people can't meet them?

Jen0125 posted...

it's interesting you guys are choosing only the looks comparisons when i've discussed multiple facets of personality when it comes to online

Haven't read the entire topic and I'm frankly not interested enough to. So if I missed something important here then like...whoops? :c

Jen0125 posted...

a lot of these men are fixated on appearance.

Correct.

Jen0125 posted...

you guys have no clue what women deal with on dating apps lol but yes you all have it so hard wah wah

I wondered how long it would take before you started projecting. Considering I've said none of these things, we can do this the right way or not. I will not play games with you, so the choice is yours; I won't stick around if you wanna act like an idiot. Please express your offense in more appropriate ways or stay out of rational conversations.

Men and women just have different dating problems. I'll take the problems men face dating any day of the week though. Women have to be on high alert for abusive/rapey weirdos. Men that aren't super attractive will have a harder time getting a date and generally feel more pressure to impress/woo their date

Women are watching put for psychopaths and men are trying to appear desirable basically lol

OhhhJa posted...

men that aren't super attractive will have a harder time getting a date and generally feel more pressure to impress/woo their date

We need to do away with dating roles anyway. For fuck sake, if you like each other, who makes a move should be extraneous.

LinkFanatic posted...

I agree actually, but I guess my point is that I don't see how that's a problem; is it because other people can't meet them?

It's a problem when they blame other people for their lack of ability to find a partner because their standards don't meet what they bring to the table.

LinkFanatic posted...

Haven't read the entire topic and I'm frankly not interested enough to. So if I missed something important here then like...whoops? :c

Then shut the fuck up?

LinkFanatic posted...

I wondered how long it would take before you started projecting. Considering I've seen none of these things, we can do this or not. I will not play games with you, so the choice is yours; I won't stick around if you wanna act like an idiot. Please express your offense in more appropriate ways or stay out of rational conversations.

What? Lmfao what are you even saying here in relation to what you quoted?

OhhhJa posted...

Men and women just have different dating problems. I'll take the problems men face dating any day of the week though. Women have to be on high alert for abusive/rapey weirdos. Men that aren't super attractive will have a harder time getting a date and generally feel more pressure to impress/woo their date

Women are watching put for psychopaths and men are trying to appear desirable basically lol

Yeah like dating sucks for most people but the negative aspects definitely affect women in more severe ways.

Jen0125 posted...

Good thing I didn't say that lol

You were complaining about ugly men going for good-looking women.

Nichtcrawler-X posted...

You were complaining about ugly men going for good-looking women.

No I wasn't. But did that strike a nerve with you or something?