Current Events > Idk if I like sex

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Master Kazuya
06/29/22 2:18:48 AM
#1:


Idk sex is weird and awkward and I wonder how much they really like me and if they dig me or what. It's awkward to get into physical positions sometimes. I've had a pleasant experience maybe two times out of the 10 or so times I've had it. All my hookups have been one night stands (either after the 1st date or they're coming over just to fuck) so maybe that's why. I get worried that I wont get or stay hard or finish quick if I am hard, and that usually happens, so it's like a spiral of being worried making the thing I'm worried about making me more worried.

I had a girl over yesterday and it was just okay. It felt like I was doing everything right to turn her on but she only seemed to try to turn me on like only partially. Only towards the end and then she had to go (she stayed longer than she was supposed to). She kept saying that she couldn't do anything too sexual that night but then said things like "I want you to pound me" but then stopped me because she apparently has some surgery down there soon so she can't do anything, and then would go back to wanting me, so it was super mixed messages.

It felt like up until yesterday, she was being really flaky and non committal and stuff and it effected the experience. All the annoyance of trying to figure out what she meant by things and if she really liked me or how she kept being flaky and whatnot. I figured maybe I should've just dropped her the moment I felt like she was flaky instead of keeping it going.

I also realized that I don't really communicate and sometimes I'm just not into whatevers going on and feel detached of just going through the motions of pleasing whoever the girl is. Idk, it just brings up a lot of emotions and while some stuff is fun, it's not very satisfying. The only two times I've enjoyed was one girl who was really hot and it was the 2nd hookup so I was already comfortable so everything flowed naturally, and then the other time was a girl who tried to figure me out instead of primarily me figuring her out.

Sometimes I get close to hooking up with someone and just avert at the last second because I just have doubts that it'll actually be fun. I need to get more comfortable with it cause I think there's fun to be had but idk I think I need to find a girl that understands me or wants to. I really like the idea of it and porn is great but it's a lot when I'm part of the process

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Pepys Monster
06/29/22 2:31:55 AM
#2:


It sounds like you're a little inexperienced, which leads to anxiety. Once you have sex in the context of a committed relationship, it will help ease that anxiety.

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haloiscoolisbak
06/29/22 2:32:46 AM
#3:


Oh man your whole first paragraph is my spirit animal.

I've spent too long on social media I think. Convincing myself if I don't give a girl a mind blowing orgasm every time she'll get sick of me

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Master Kazuya
06/29/22 2:40:24 AM
#4:


Pepys Monster posted...
It sounds like you're a little inexperienced, which leads to anxiety. Once you have sex in the context of a committed relationship, it will help ease that anxiety.

I like that you said "once" cause it's more like "if" =\

I feel like this anxiety and one of getting a gf are tied to the same deep insecurities

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Ivany2008
06/29/22 2:41:02 AM
#5:


Step 1: Buy condoms that actually make you feel the experience. My first time we used a pack of generic over the counter lifestyle condoms. Never again. It made me feel like shit.

Step 2: Find something your good at in the bedroom. I won't get into details of what I'm good at, but it gives me that extra boost of confidence when the woman I'm with realizes that I'm really good at something.

Step 3: Don't be afraid to experiment. Some women will like it, others won't. Everyone is different.

Look at me being Dr. Ruth all of a sudden. Or is it Dr. Sue. One of the two.
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haloiscoolisbak
06/29/22 2:42:25 AM
#6:


Ivany2008 posted...
Step 1: Buy condoms that actually make you feel the experience. My first time we used a pack of generic over the counter lifestyle condoms. Never again. It made me feel like shit.

Step 2: Find something your good at in the bedroom. I won't get into details of what I'm good at, but it gives me that extra boost of confidence when the woman I'm with realizes that I'm really good at something.

Step 3: Don't be afraid to experiment. Some women will like it, others won't. Everyone is different.

Look at me being Dr. Ruth all of a sudden. Or is it Dr. Sue. One of the two.


Yeah I like this advice. For me it was doggy style.... It's just so easy to do competently

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Ivany2008
06/29/22 2:43:34 AM
#7:


haloiscoolisbak posted...
Yeah I like this advice. For me it was doggy style.... It's just so easy to do competently
for me its fingering. Yes, I have to take a pain pill afterwards, but it satisfies whatever woman I'm with before we move on to the main event.
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Master Kazuya
06/29/22 12:17:18 PM
#8:


Meh

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TheBrainbuster
06/29/22 12:17:41 PM
#9:


Idk if I like sex

wat

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Guide
06/29/22 12:19:39 PM
#10:


Why do you keep pursuing these situations you don't even like?

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WaterLink
06/29/22 12:20:51 PM
#11:


Master Kazuya posted...
All my hookups have been one night stands

I know it's not easy to go "try being in a relationship" but relationship sex is way better. It helps you get more comfortable when it's someone you have a connection with than a stranger. I personally never really liked one night stands, I'd rather just rub one out and move on with my day than bang a stranger.

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LordYeezus
06/29/22 12:24:46 PM
#12:


For the longest time I've wanted to know what sex is like but then I realize it could get really awkward especially since I have ED

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Jiek_Fafn
06/29/22 12:31:07 PM
#13:


Also sounds like the girls your with are inexperienced/uncomfortable. Guide them a little bit if you can.

Also, some girls with experience got it from weirdos. You have to teach them stuff that you like. There was that dude on CE who a girl made his dick bleed during a hj. Some dude somewhere was probably into rough stuff or had dick calluses or something. She learned that somewhere

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Guide
06/29/22 12:33:09 PM
#14:


Jiek_Fafn posted...
Guide them a little bit if you can

;x

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#15
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MICHALECOLE
06/29/22 12:36:08 PM
#16:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

No theyve had sex ten or so times but only enjoyed it twice
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JBaLLEN66
06/29/22 12:38:25 PM
#17:


One night stands are extremely overrated. This is why you hate sex lol.

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SauI_Goodman
06/29/22 12:40:17 PM
#18:


If she chose to have sex with you i think its safe to say shes into you. But i get what youre saying. Sex isnt for everyone.

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#19
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NoxObscuras
06/29/22 12:45:05 PM
#20:


Look at this this way, the girls you're with are probably inexperienced too. So don't feel like it's all on you.

But it sounds like you should start looking for a girlfriend, rather than hookups. You don't have to rush into finding a girlfriend or anything. It just sounds like you'll enjoy sex more if you actually love the person you're having sex with, as opposed to not really caring.

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CasualGuy
06/29/22 12:46:22 PM
#21:


My issue is that the longer it goes on, the less enjoyable the release is. If it's a quickie it feels super great

If the whole thing is <15 minutes then it's pretty good.

But if it's the whole show with foreplay and everything and takes over 30 minutes then the release barely feels good at all. Or with edging. Every guys I've talked to says that makes the end feel way better but I'm the opposite. Feels a lot less intense. Don't know why.

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Master Kazuya
06/29/22 12:49:53 PM
#22:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


However old you are + 9 months

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Megaman50100
06/29/22 12:50:14 PM
#23:


Ivany2008 posted...
#7

As someone with no experience with this, why do you have to take a pain pill afterward?

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Master Kazuya
06/29/22 12:52:03 PM
#24:


NoxObscuras posted...
But it sounds like you should start looking for a girlfriend, rather than hookups. You don't have to rush into finding a girlfriend or anything. It just sounds like you'll enjoy sex more if you actually love the person you're having sex with, as opposed to not really caring.

WaterLink posted...
I know it's not easy to go "try being in a relationship" but relationship sex is way better. It helps you get more comfortable when it's someone you have a connection with than a stranger. I personally never really liked one night stands, I'd rather just rub one out and move on with my day than bang a stranger.

Finding a girl that I like and actually likes me back sounds hopeless lol, I am pretty sure I'll die before this happens

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CapnMuffin
06/29/22 12:52:31 PM
#25:


Ivany2008 posted...
Step 1: Buy condoms that actually make you feel the experience. My first time we used a pack of generic over the counter lifestyle condoms. Never again. It made me feel like shit.

Step 2: Find something your good at in the bedroom. I won't get into details of what I'm good at, but it gives me that extra boost of confidence when the woman I'm with realizes that I'm really good at something.

Step 3: Don't be afraid to experiment. Some women will like it, others won't. Everyone is different.

Look at me being Dr. Ruth all of a sudden. Or is it Dr. Sue. One of the two.
You aint Dr Ruth unless you also recommend a cock ring for everything
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Ivany2008
06/29/22 1:17:49 PM
#26:


Megaman50100 posted...
As someone with no experience with this, why do you have to take a pain pill afterward?

My arm gets sore and tired. In my experience, which is limited, women have a sweet spot inside the vagina about 2 inches in. If you can find it, and stimulate it extremely fast, lets just say they are grasping at the sheets. Might not be all women, just the ones I've been with.

So while I'm terrible at other things, that's the one thing I'm half decent at.

Hence why I take the pain pill, because I'm good at finding that spot and my arm is like a fast moving piston. Great for her, fucking terrible for me. It reminds me of when I went to the gym and overworked my arms. Couldn't move them properly for a day. The pain pill helps mitigate that.
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Kitt
06/29/22 1:23:35 PM
#27:


I wonder how much they really like me and if they dig me or what
Well this hit too close to home for me...

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LordMarshal
06/29/22 1:26:54 PM
#28:


If you logically think about sex, itll be a natural turn off and ruin it. Getting naked and jamming your crotches together is extremely weird unless youre horny and not thinking about.

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Master Kazuya
06/29/22 1:33:54 PM
#29:


Ivany2008 posted...
My arm gets sore and tired. In my experience, which is limited, women have a sweet spot inside the vagina about 2 inches in. If you can find it, and stimulate it extremely fast, lets just say they are grasping at the sheets. Might not be all women, just the ones I've been with.

So while I'm terrible at other things, that's the one thing I'm half decent at.

Hence why I take the pain pill, because I'm good at finding that spot and my arm is like a fast moving piston. Great for her, fucking terrible for me. It reminds me of when I went to the gym and overworked my arms. Couldn't move them properly for a day. The pain pill helps mitigate that.

Honestly you don't even need to have this problem. The only time I feel like I need to go hard/fast is when she's literally about to cum and tells me "don't stop" or holds my arm in place or something. Otherwise I just go at a comfortable pace, tease, work it for a second and then go back to relaxed, work elsewhere then come back, etc. That way it's relaxing for you too.

I had this problem twice, one girl wanted me to shove my fingers in deeper and there literally wasnt any room so I was really trying to push my hand deeper and it started straining, the other time this girl stayed over the whole day and she was insatiable (not as hot as it sounds) so eventually I had to tap out and be like "my hand is tired" and take breaks.

I had a similar problem with eating out. I was trying to make my tongue do most of the work, but the frenulum was getting super overworked and also your tongue tires out too. Now I just kinda barely work my tongue, just for little stuff, and just use the rest of my head to guide most of the motion.

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Oubliettes
06/29/22 1:36:58 PM
#30:


ive never enjoyed sex. maybe twice out of hundreds of times it was "omg that was awesome". i like the idea of sex more than the activity i guess, and i like making my partner happy

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Sir Will
06/29/22 1:39:13 PM
#31:


Ivany2008 posted...
for me its fingering. Yes, I have to take a pain pill afterwards, but it satisfies whatever woman I'm with before we move on to the main event.
A pain pill?

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CoolMaskGuy
06/29/22 1:52:45 PM
#32:


Master Kazuya posted...
Finding a girl that I like and actually likes me back sounds hopeless lol, I am pretty sure I'll die before this happens

So what happened then 9 months ago? Did you just lower your standards and go with whoever liked you on Tinder etc
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TheOnionKnight
06/29/22 2:01:59 PM
#33:


Yeah sounds like you might just need more experience. I used to feel somewhat similar, but once you're comfortable enough to just throw yourself into it like an animal, it makes all the difference and it's great. Honestly, with the state of the world these days, the fact that I have a good sex life is one of the few things that's keeping me sane. A consistent relationship would probably help you a lot, even if it's just friends with benefits.

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