Board 8 > Could Donkey Kong defeat Malenia, Blade of Miquella in a fight?

(+) Yeah! (+)

as nominated by @UltimaterializerX

Arguments for Malenia:

• she is a two-phase boss fight, and DK might let his guard down after phase 1
• she attacks with sword slashes and in, phase 2, aerial maneuvers
• DK is likely to be distracted by the presence of a nearly naked human woman

Arguments for DK:

• beating Malenia requires plenty of rolling, which he is an expert at
• he might be tanky enough to withstand some of her attacks
• if DK shoots Malenia, it's gonna hurt

Last topic DK finally got another win, against the fighting freak Knuckles! Now it's a boss from Elden Ring, a very challenging game. Will that challenge to the player translate to a challenge against DK?

Donkey Kong Country is loaded with multi-phase boss fights, so he won't be caught off guard by that, if nothing else.

I guess K. Rool is an example of that, yeah. I did watch a gameplay video of Malenia's fight and there's about as much time in between her phases as the fake credits roll in DKC1's final boss fight. The Elden Ring protag looks away the whole time and when he looks back she's in a massive cocoon like wtf how did you not notice that

Here's the video I watched, for reference. Fight starts at 1:55:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_iqjI2p7F4

Could Donkey Kong defeat Malenia before the effects of Scarlet Rot sink in?

UltimaterializerX posted...

A fun nomination for this might be Mario.

I actually considered Mario but I think DK has a lot going against him in that matchup. Plus it's more fun to me to compare characters from two different series. Maybe I'll circle back to Mario eventually!

Malenia was at least somewhat on par with Radahn who was holding back the stars. Also scarlet rot and regen on hit. DK isn't handling that

Um

I can't get donkey kong bouncing on Malenia's head out of my head

So I will need to see arguments for this one

UltimaterializerX posted...

A fun nomination for this might be Mario.

considering we have plenty of canon evidence that Mario wins that matchup, probably not

The plot of Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat, revealed only in Japanese player's manuals, is that the Final Kong has arisen from the corruption of an alien egg, and is using his influence to corrupt the Faraway Lands with a corrosive black tar spread via the eggs of the Rocs. DK, evidently a spiritual being, is able to restore balance by punching it really hard.

That's a long way to say DK has vague rot/blight resistance.

I dunno if he can win (I think he at least lasts to Round 2, you don't get to be a Punch-Out boss and not have fantastic reflexes), but I think it's funny.

Can DK poise through Waterfowl Dance?

The answer to that question determines how good his chances are

without the health regen it might be a close fight, but with it in play I don't think Donkey Kong can last long enough

Malenia, DK is absurdly vulnerable to gas based attacks. (see donkey kong 3 where a man named stanley chased dk off with a bug sprayer.)

Little known fact, bananas stanch scarlet rot.

Also, DK totally gets a Diddy/Dixie/Kiddy ashes summon to help with the fight. And I think that gives him a fighting chance.

There are some hilarious points being made in this topic.

donkey can solo, but if you don't agree with that, remember that diddy can fly real high with his jetback on, and with his pistols out, he's one tough kong

So my big issue is in DK2 Diddy Kong was easily vanquished by the guardian holding nothing more than a club guarding the lost island entrance

This makes me think Kongs are poor against large weapons

Going with Melania

masterplum posted...

So my big issue is in DK2 Diddy Kong was easily vanquished by the guardian holding nothing more than a club guarding the lost island entrance

This makes me think Kongs are poor against large weapons

Going with Melania

To be fair, DK is stronger than Diddy!

rwlh posted...

To be fair, DK is stronger than Diddy!

Yet DK was saved by Diddy

Checkmate

yeah but he didn't have his pistols out then

masterplum posted...

Yet DK was saved by Diddy

Checkmate

I was going to say that Diddy and Dixie saved DK together, but I don't know if that's a good argument!

you think a monkey could defeat me

Malenia posted...

you think a monkey could defeat me

The Blade of Miquella has never known defeat

vs

As funny as DK winning would be, he really doesn't stand a chance.

rwlh posted...

DK is likely to be distracted by the presence of a nearly naked human woman

I disagree. At least to me, it doesn't make sense for a non-human character who doesn't wear clothes to be fazed at all by human near-nudity/full nudity given they're naked themselves, but to each their own.

Normally I'd be inclined to agree, but I was specifically thinking of Pauline when I wrote that, which shows that at least Cranky is a little interested in human women.

Monkeys can kidnap women for reasons other than love

Maybe she had a secret stash of bananas.

DK's getting bodied but votes are low enough that a comeback is still potentially possible!

I don't know who this character is. I assumed from the name they were Bloodborne, and eh, I wasn't too far off. I'm looking at google images and I don't see her as "nearly naked," so I don't think that's an issue.

Regardless, I have no opinion.

She loses the clothes in her second phase.

https://i.imgur.com/YmWf89N.jpeg