Current Events > "Women have it so easy when it comes to dating!"

(+) Yeah! (+)

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I'd say having options trumps that. No connection? On to the next.

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The thing is you can't blame having a bad social life on how unfair Tinder is. So that definitely should be the focus on it first.

We're all in our own boats and situation when it comes to social relationships. Focusing on how much easier others may potentially have it doesn't really help.

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The point is there are many. Money, job, hobbies, stable mental health, etc.

There are numerous things out there that can make things easier or more difficult.

But this board focuses on women and dating apps. Because many users on this board barely have a life outside of the internet and struggle to relate to women. So that's what they focus on.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Which of those 2 will be more likely to find someone they click with? Same situation between both, they both got matches and messages. They both lined up dates. They both successfully went in the date and both decided to look for someone else.

I don't think Tinder is a great way to meet people personally but whatever.

When it comes to dating apps then yes women have an advantage. But being bombarded by messages from horny men has its own issues.

KogaSteelfang posted...

And getting rejected over, and over, and over until he finds someone. He has to learn to become numb to it, then get it thrown in his face that he's not emotionally invested. There's no incentive for him to care about who he picks up because he's just going around till someone says ok. Then it's held against him(and men in general). While she's just hanging out, and turning people away.

It's not about being numb to it. It's about learning to pick up when women aren't attracted to you and figuring out that it really isn't a big deal at all.

Hoodroar posted...

But there are plenty examples of passive men doing this stuff and still not finding themselves in any intimate scenarios since just being present isn't sufficient for men.

And they likely make up a lot of the 12 men being complained about in the topic.

Doing what stuff?

It doesn't matter if the woman in the OP didn't connect with them.

This may come as a shock to you but most people aren't compatible with each other.

Having lots of options is better than no options!

*Dick pic*

*Dick pic*

"I want to r*** you"

*Dick pic*

"Show me your feet for money"

Hmm... Yeah. It's so... great.

Punished_Blinx posted...

I don't think Tinder is a great way to meet people personally but whatever.

When it comes to dating apps then yes women have an advantage. But being bombarded by messages from horny men has its own issues.

Well, online dating has become one of the main way people date/meet people. You yourself met your wife online. Even offline women still have the advantage in a similar way.

And you've been saying I'm focusing on the wrong part. So let's look a bit further down the line then. It's 3 months later, they get along well, and have decided to be exclusive. Things are progressing and they're meeting each other's friends and family.

...what exactly do they have to worry about at this point? Who needs an advantage in a relationship? The song and dance of dating is over, and it's progressed to something more. Yes, they're still "dating" but now they're something more. It's substantial, they know each other, and neither side needs an advantage because they're working together to move forward.

So, as far as I'm concerned the advantage only matters in the beginning, which has been what I've been discussing.

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What do you consider an average man to be?

KogaSteelfang posted...

Well, online dating has become one of the main way people date/meet people. You yourself met your wife online. Even offline women still have the advantage in a similar way.

And you've been saying I'm focusing on the wrong part. So let's look a bit further down the line then. It's 3 months later, they get along well, and have decided to be exclusive. Things are progressing and they're meeting each other's friends and family.

...what exactly do they have to worry about at this point? Who needs an advantage in a relationship? The song and dance of dating is over, and it's progressed to something more. Yes, they're still "dating" but now they're something more. It's substantial, they know each other, and neither side needs an advantage because they're working together to move forward.

So, as far as I'm concerned the advantage only matters in the beginning, which has been what I've been discussing.

The question is how can a man with no social skills even make it to that point to begin with.

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"Women shouldn't care so much about this stuff. As a man, I feel pretty confident I'm right about how women should feel."

- The Exact Type of Wastoid I Describe In My OP

Easy is a comparative word. Men cant date because women dont respond. Women can date because men do respond or even initiate conversation. Yes there is a lot of bad dialogue women get, but compared to the no dialogue men get, that makes it easier for women.

Also, I'd just like to point out I have seen the kind of responses women get from my roommate and my fiance. My fiance saved every dick pic someone sent her on dating apps way back when and pulled it out for a laugh sometimes.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Doing what stuff?

Socializing, working, other non-shut-in stuff.

At a sufficient level of intimate passivity a guy who goes outside has no significantly better odds of finding a woman than a guy who plays video games in a basement all day every day. Because even if the man is around people nothing happens if he doesn't have the skills to start it himself.

If you only care about getting responses and nothing else then go on a dating website where the primary demographic is old people.

My Dad dated several women using some site for old people. Even had younger women hitting him up looking for a sugar daddy I guess.

Hoodroar posted...

Socializing, working, other non-shut-in stuff.

At a sufficient level of intimate passivity a guy who goes outside has no significantly better odds of finding a woman than a guy who plays video games in a basement all day every day. Because even if the man is around people nothing happens if he doesn't have the skills to start it himself.

It really depends if he is meeting new people oir not.

Going outside to hang out with your best friend to eat burgers isn't the same as going out on a Friday night bar hopping and having fun with a group of people.

some real bags of sand takes ITT

https://youtube.com/shorts/b6hIXdrLr64?feature=share

Theres a lot of disingenuous posting in this topic.

Its basic probability. Women have more options, thus the odds of getting promising dates is increased.

No one is claiming it wont come with problems. But just like an attractive guy will have an easier time dating than an ugly guy, its about the odds of landing dates at all.

Also, most people are shit at vetting. My friend has nothing but tits and ass on her instagram but is completely perplexed why she never encounters a good guy online. She also thinks men complimenting her body from the get go is charming instead of a red flag.

Men just dont get the same opportunity to show how bad they are at gauging a good connection, but its a human issue.

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Well, stop dismissing women's perspective out of hand then. Maybe YOU don't care about people creeping on you, but for many women all it takes is a few very disturbing messages to become jaded by male contact through these dating apps. I know women who quit dating apps specifically because having more options was literally worse than having fewer or no options. This is what you people don't seem to get. Having toxic interactions with men is pretty bad for a woman's mental health. I've seen it, live, in person, with many female friends. I know women who take breaks from dating men because the amount of stress and anxiety it causes is not worth it. This is not some fucking math equation where n = dates, a = probability of a good date, b = probability for bad date, whatever and who cares.

It's hard for women to date. Sometimes, dating can be worse than not dating at all. That's what's so hard to grasp, I suppose.

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Do you fit that?

Ah jeez Rick... What even constitutes a good connec

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Then that sounds like a them problem. After a certain point, you can't just blame others.

Pogo_Marimo posted...

Well, stop dismissing women's perspective out of hand then. Maybe YOU don't care about people creeping on you, but for many women all it takes is a few very disturbing messages to become jaded by male contact through these dating apps. I know women who quit dating apps specifically because having more options was literally worse than having fewer or no options. This is what you people don't seem to get. Having toxic interactions with men is pretty bad for a woman's mental health. I've seen it, live, in person, with many female friends. I know women who take breaks from dating men because the amount of stress and anxiety it causes is not worth it. This is not some fucking math equation where n = dates, a = probability of a good date, b = probability for bad date, whatever and who cares.

It's hard for women to date. Sometimes, dating can be worse than not dating at all. That's what's so hard to grasp, I suppose.

Why do you assume womens side is worse?

Why not, both sides are shit but for different reasons? Drowning vs dying of dehydration and all that.

randy_123r is right about most of the messages women get aren't actually that extreme, most are tame. However, people aren't really asking the question why online dating favors women over men. The main answer to that is that more men use dating apps than women, but the main reason that more men use dating apps over women is that men, on average, have higher sex drives than women. Men are just hornier and the average man are normally going to get desperate with a women who is average just to fill that desire. It's as simple as that.

However, one thing people seem to forget that sometimes it's better to not get into a relationship to begin with. Don't let social media telling you that being single and a virgin is something of a mockery when it isn't. We love to romanticize marriage and sex as this great thing that all have to strive to do, but it's not how reality works at all. I bet the average guy doesn't know that men, on average, have an easier time to climax then women, so if you do have sex you have to do foreplay with women and not knowing how to do it correctly can make the whole thing very awkward. Some people can get worst mental health issues because of a bad date/relationship/marriage. I know friends and family that had stuff like that happen to them before, this kind of stuff can stick with ya for life.

cuttin_in_farm posted...

Why do you assume womens side is worse?

Why not, both sides are shit but for different reasons? Drowning vs dying of dehydration and all that.

I... don't?

dave_is_slick posted...

Then that sounds like a them problem. After a certain point, you can't just blame others.

Sure you can.

There's like 2 people on here I would like to hang out with and absolutely 0 I would recommend a woman to date.

I blame all of you for this.

Punished_Blinx posted...

The question is how can a man with no social skills even make it to that point to begin with.

He can't. I'd assume a woman with similar issues couldn't either. I'm not talking about outliers, but the general average population.

Pogo_Marimo posted...

I... don't?

Oh, my bad. Read your post wrong.

Carry on lol.

KogaSteelfang posted...

He can't. I'd assume a woman with similar issues couldn't either. I'm not talking about outliers, but the general average population.

Do you think the general average population has an issue of having 0 dates?

Punished_Blinx posted...

Do you think the general average population has an issue of having 0 dates?

Ok, I see the issue you're focusing on. When I said he "can't date" I meant "can't get dates easily." I thought that was implied. My bad.

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lmfao. Oh the humanity!

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I haven't assumed anything.

I'm just seeing what you think the average man is and if you think of yourself as one.

If literally all of someone's options are bad maybe their standards are too high?

If all of the dudes are rude or shallow or something then yeah that's bad. But it comes off as if some are being relegated to the dud bin over more minor issues.

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Considering I have said many times that every individual is in their own boat and has their own stuff to deal with I think the conversation about hypothetical people and the hypothetical results they achieve on a dating app as a uniform group is a bit of a waste of time. Relationships (or the lack thereof) are individual in scope.

I do think some people here may have the wrong idea on what an actual 'average man' or even 'average woman' is though.

When I think about all the people I have met throughout my life it does not resemble the men on this message board at all. In high school I was in a male friend group who is average at best and loser nerds at worse and we all have had relationships. When I think of my work place I know many people in relationships and I know co-workers who have slept together after work.

Does that mean most of the people I know have been or would be successful on Tinder? I have no idea. I don't think it's a relevant thing for most people I know. I know a guy who cheated on his wife using Tinder so I guess he was successful on it.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Sure you can.

Sure if you want to never reflect on anything ever. It is easier, I'll give you that!

dave_is_slick posted...

Sure if you want to never reflect on anything ever. It is easier, I'll give you that!

Does that also apply if nobody responds to you on Tinder?

Pogo_Marimo posted...

I've literally watched my roommate go through twelve different men she's tried to date

Proved the title right in the first sentence.

If you were expecting us to change our minds based off how horrible the dating process went, I got some news for you, no men dont magically get any better dates.

The fact that your roommate even gets the chance to date is the jumpstart chance a lot of men arent given.

Id love to be given a chance, then shed be like "oh wow, why have I been dating all these assholes?"

deoxxys posted...

Id love to be given a chance, then shed be like "oh wow, why have I been dating all these a******s?"

Would she though?

Punished_Blinx posted...

Does that also apply if nobody responds to you on Tinder?

Obviously, were you trying to do something here?

Giblet_Enjoyer posted...

I think I just realized a reason why women probably go for taken men so often. They're essentially pre-vetted, so much less likely to be predatory weirdos. Makes sense when you think about it

yep, or a man hanging out with other women in public (or photos) can look pre-vetted.

But anyway with covid and technology, people are bound to me more awkward and seem like weirdos.

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You can try c_c

Might get a cold shoulder tho

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Yes this is true but its not a woman exclusive issue with dating, but as others in the topic have reiterated, it is almost exclusively a male dating issue to not have anyone willing to attempt to connect with them. You cant fail to connect to someone if they never give you the chance to.

I'd love to feel miserable for a different reason (failed love) over being miserable because no one wants to date. At least with the first misery option I feel like I would gain more relationship experience and come to find a better understanding of what I expect from a relationship and who it is I get along best with (or who I dont).

pinky0926 posted...

Also I think because so many men lament the fact that they don't get enough matches, or don't match with the people they want to date, they overlook how it would feel to be presented with an all you can eat shit buffet.

Just saying options at all would be nice is all.

KogaSteelfang posted...

I didn't see this earlier. That buffet would also include food you like too, and is still no different from the food anyone else gets. The only difference is that they get the free buffet, while the rest have to stand on the side and wait for someone to hand them a plate.

Edit: To be more accurate. This buffet would have all the food available in your area. Yes, that includes food you don't like, and even dangers of eating something you're allergic too. But to just discount it as shit because it's not entirely your favorite foods is dishonest.

This argument presumes the food is exactly what it looks like and isn't like, piles of excrement dressed up to look like lobster, which you don't spot until it's in your mouth.

Women aren't generally out here just to match with men and fuck them. They more often want a long term commitment. The handsome guys are lying to them for a quick fuck. Happens all the time.

If you want to split hairs over which sex has it more miserable or present any number of hypotheticals that show that men have it worse then you do you, but the point here is you find me literally anyone who likes using dating apps on the whole.