Current Events > Woman shamed for not revealing she's trans to men who flirt with her at clubs

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https://nypost.com/2021/12/13/woman-shamed-for-not-saying-shes-trans-to-men-who-flirt-at-clubs/

A transgender woman has been hit with backlash after declaring that she doesnt always tell men that she is trans before accepting a drink from or kissing them. Tayla Dow who hails from Manchester in England opened up on TikTok last week, in a video that has clocked up more than 2.6 million views. Dow, 20, was described as deceitful and a catfish and even guilty of assault in comments beneath the viral clip. In a follow-up post, the social worker expanded on her comments, saying she always discloses that she is transgender if she either goes on dates with men or proceeds to engage in sexual activity with them beyond kissing. However, before that point, its not their business, she said. But in a club, like, what do you want me to do? Dow asked. Im not lying. No ones asked me if Im trans. Ive got nothing to lie about. Im just not telling them for my own safety.

If talking to someone whos trans bothers you that much, thats not my problem thats your problem, she said in the clip. I feel like its not that deep. A kiss is a kiss. Dow further told South West News Service: If someone approaches me in a club scenario when everyones drunk, and I know not all men are okay with it, I dont feel like its safe for me to expose everything about my life. If someone is to kiss me, then I dont say anything unless I feel comfortable telling them, she continued. I dont think thats too far and I dont see it as assault at all; people take it the wrong way. She also suggested that there are many personal subjects that clubgoers dont always address right away with strangers. Theres men who go out to clubs and get with girls whove got girlfriends at home, theres people whove got STDs that have sex with people after a night out and dont tell them, she said. Of course, if it was anything sexual or serious, like meeting up and going on a date, then Id tell them. The brunette also told the news agency: Obviously Im quite lucky to have a passing privilege, meaning I pass as a woman easier But when it comes to actual dating it becomes difficult because, even if the person is okay with it, their family and friends would have to be okay with it as well and they would have to be okay with not having biological kids unless we got a surrogate. Some people are fine with it, some people arent; I guess it just depends on preference, which is fine. Asked what she would say to her online haters, Dow responded: People should try and put themselves in my shoes and see it from my perspective, but obviously if you have a prejudice against trans people, then youre never going to understand it. The beautys TikTok videos have been hit with backlash since she made the kiss confession, with one saying Dows actions should be illegal. It is most certainly their business. You are taking their choice away, another raged. People have a right to know who they are being intimate with. If they are the right person for you they wont have a problem with it, a third person posited.

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No comment

Just here for some popcorn

You can already hear the anxiety from some of these users desperately wanting to mark some people way out from the topic list.

They got their fingers hovering over the 'snitch' button already on stand-by.

you tricked me, even though I approached you and try to take up some of your time???

how about some consideration!

My only concern is the crazy guys that would hunt someone down for "revenge"

TLDR transphobe island strikes again

Heres a thought: if you are so disgusted by the idea of accidentally kissing a trans person, maybe dont make out with strangers at a bar? Maybe thats just not a good thing for you to do? And maybe if you make out with someone before figuring out if theres anything about them that would be a dealbreaker, then thats kind of on you, not on them?

I dont see why shes obligated to tell guys, if they like what they see enough to kiss her then its obviously not a big deal. If shes obligated to say she's trans what else is she obligated to disclose about herself? If she was neurodivergent should she have to disclose that as well? if she had hideous scars under her top should she have to disclose that as well?

Guys are attracted to her, she flirts back. Presumably she tells them she's trans if she wants to fuck them, but if she has no intention of sealing the deal, she's literally just flirting and accepting drinks.

If you want to know everything about the women you pursue, take a woman on a date instead of hitting on one at the bar. Otherwise you're approaching an attractive woman and opening yourself up to whatever risk stems from talking to a stranger in a casual setting. You might as well be talking to a train passenger at the food cabin during an overnight train ride.

The fact is that men approach her, and depending on whether she's attracted to them or not, she may or may not disclose she's trans. Plenty of people do that shit about STDs, drugs, bad habits etc. - you're opening yourself up to risk by hitting on random women in any number of circumstances. If you're so concerned about a woman who shares your values and meets your preferences, vet your dates/hookups better.

If you're attracted to a trans woman and you get a kiss or whatever at the end of the night and never find out she's trans, your only memories are going to be with flirting with a hot chick at the club. This is only "assault" if you're the kind of person who prides themselves so heavily on their heterosexuality that you think one even remotely gay experience ruins you forever.

She's not fucking people without telling them she's trans, she's flirting with men at the club who are attracted to her and disclosing her trans status depending on if she wants to fuck them or not. If you're that concerned about this, vet your hookups better.

If she didn't reveal it before getting into a serious relationship, I could kinda understand seeing that as a big deal. Not revealing it before spending some time with someone in a bar is an utterly ridiculous thing to complain about.

A whole article about a few comments on a viral TikTok video?

I'm straight and I've let guys buy me drinks before with no intention of anything happening >_>

if they're attracted enough to kiss her or buy her drinks they're probably insecure and mad at themselves

I have opinions on this

That I will just keep to myself

Smackems posted...

I have opinions on this

That I will just keep to myself

Already have you tagged so, not surprised

MrToothHasYou posted...

Already have you tagged so, not surprised

Oh no

You're probably wrong btw

Id never do this just as a safety measure for myself. I definitely wouldn't blow up on any woman for not telling me tho. I just don't think a kiss or drink is worth the chance of getting demolished by a psychopath that's not secure enough to handle finding out. I'd encourage a friend to be more straight forward but then just let them make their own decisions