Current Events > Don't ghost people. Grow up and be straightforward with them

(+) Yeah! (+)

Never had a romantic relationship, but I ghost anyone I no longer feel comfortable talking to. I've been ignoring my dad's texts and calls for like 3 years without even acknowledging the messages.

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Fluttershy posted...

ignoring hints is childish. ignoring them is playing games -- grow up.

like the fact that you demand explanation but don't accept that you could possibly be more perceptive says it all. righfully ghosted. look at how you're handling it -- bitching about it on a video game forum. that's the adult thing to do, right?

Why are you so triggered are you okay? Lol

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You exaggerated this to make your stance seem more reasonable.

nah, you guys are literally upset over this. you exaggerated my position by claiming i had issues -- which is disgusting, by the way. you shouldn't use mental illness as a form of insult.

The most low effort vent possible.

effort is effort and you're actually going to try to last word me i think.

Why are you so triggered are you okay? Lol

i think you are the one that is triggered.

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On that note, I'm going to bed

Be nice to each other

Xethuminra posted...

On that note, I'm going to bed

Be nice to each other

Sure you are

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I think the worst part here is you spent multiple posts arguing with a brony about dating etiquette.

cuttin_in_farm posted...

Its unhealthy to think being disrespected is okay. I hope youre able to see someone for your issues.

Because setting a clear expectation, and then ghosting is disrespectful. TC could have made different plans or pursued something else if he didnt think the lady he saw had no interest. But its blatant disrespect of peoples time and emotions to not tell someone.

Again, in TCs scenario, she said she was wanting to meet again.

This isnt a date was lame and no chemistry. The guy seemed kinda clingy and dangerous scenario it seems.

Honestly, I think she was just saying that because
A. He was just an option for her. And so she wanted to "think on it". And so she probably considered him, but then went for someone else during this big timeframe. I imagine he was low on her totem pole and she was probably talking to another dude(s).

B. She hated the date and just used that as an excuse to shut him up.

When a woman says "i'll let you know", its basically code for "you're fucked". These days if I hear a woman say "i'll let you know" I immediately have it in my mind that it's going no where. In which case, I NEEEEXTTT

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Pointless_Topic posted...

Honestly, I think she was just saying that because

Why people get so invested in the interactions of strangers Ill never understand.


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SwayM posted...

Why people get so invested in the interactions of strangers Ill never understand.

BECAUSE THERE ARE CERTAIN HINTS WOMEN MAKE THAT SET OFF MY RADAR! IF WOMEN LEAVE THINGS VAGUE, It MEANS SHES NOT SURE! WHICH MEANS SHE AINT THE ONE BECAUSE SHE'll GHOST!

Thats why I get invested and overanalyze STUFF!

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Lol yeah

You just never know these days. Is she just nervous or not interested? Do they not text very often or are they texting someone else?

See I dont have the time or patience to read into every little BS thing anymore. Just say how you feel and lets move on if the feelings arent mutual. Aint fuckin hard my dudes.


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Agreed 100%

Nothing has fucked me up mentally more than people who wont just be honest. Dont lie when youre breaking up with me, deciding you dont want to talk to me, etc.

(Of course, it doesnt help that Im literally braindead when it comes to taking hints, so thats on me).

In fairness, I know there are a LOT of psychos out there who dont know how to take no for an answer, but STILL.

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I don't know man, I can see both sides on this one.

On one hand, it's just kinda the right thing to do to just tell someone they're not interested.

On the other hand, ghosting is literally just accepted as the norm now.

So people nowadays hate playing games but want to play games?

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Limitless Chad texts keep pushing yours to the bottom, it happens

Fluttershy posted...

You exaggerated this to make your stance seem more reasonable.

nah, you guys are literally upset over this. you exaggerated my position by claiming i had issues -- which is disgusting, by the way. you shouldn't use mental illness as a form of insult.

The most low effort vent possible.

effort is effort and you're actually going to try to last word me i think.

Why are you so triggered are you okay? Lol

i think you are the one that is triggered.

Nope it's totally you lol. I just came into the topic and you've clearly had a reaction for no reason. Relax.

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Xethuminra posted...

Love transcends language.

^^^

This. When people don't ever respond to me again, I know it's out of love and respect. Don't be insecure

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Hi TC, it is me your father. I've taken your advice and wanted to be straightforward with you.

After your mother and I discovered you committed fraud to leech off my 401k and drained it to supply your Funky pop doll addiction, we can no longer continue our relationship with you. Despite what you've done we do wish you the best in life, just please don't contact us any more.

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SwayM posted...

Nothing too interesting but for the sake of conversations, here goes.

Met up with a gal. Had a lovely coffee date. Great conversations the whole time, similar interests, flirty, etc. She apologized for only having time for coffee that day and she would let me know next time she was free.

We text after she says she had a great time. I say, lets do it again. She says I would like that tells me shell let me know what her schedule is next week. Its next week, I dont hear nothing, I message her asking her how shes doing. No reply.

If you arent interestedjust say that? Shes literally a doctor (dentist, dont be an anti-dentite). How are you gonna show intention and interest and then not be grown up and upfront if that wasnt sincere or things change.

Holy shit, I think we met the same woman lol. Almost the exact same thing, down to her scrubs (she is a nurse).

Last month, had a great initial courtship and first coffee date, made plans for the next time, and then she was gone. Its pathetic.

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Fluttershy posted...

ignoring hints is childish. ignoring them is playing games -- grow up.

like the fact that you demand explanation but don't accept that you could possibly be more perceptive says it all. righfully ghosted. look at how you're handling it -- bitching about it on a video game forum. that's the adult thing to do, right?

A brony is talking about adult things?


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Nope it's totally you lol.

lol you need to calm down lol.

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SwayM posted...

Its really not difficult.

People who get ghosted always say this lmoa..


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Conception616 posted...

A brony is talking about adult things?

Yea I noticed that earlier, ignored him for that reason lol

if you've ever ghosted someone yourself, you immediately realize why people do it

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I gave a girl my phone number a few months ago. Asked for nothing in return like her phone number.

No calls or texts. I find it fair. I take rejection well but some people do not so as a caution i understand. Some dudes flip out at being told no.

Yeah, it's fucked to mess with people's feelings like that, but if practically everyone's doing it, why should you be the only one who doesn't? "Treat others with kindness" Do most people really deserve kindness, though? No, I'm not encouraging anyone to do it, but what really is the point of believing in such a moral code in a corrupt society? You can't expect most people to be nice to others, because most people just aren't good. Players will be players.

That being said, you really shouldn't ghost others, and it takes a strong mind to fully resist that urge. Props to you if you can, but demanding that others do it isn't a good look. Let them change at their own pace. You'd take rejection better if you stopped putting people on pedestals.

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Been ghosted quite a few times. Many of them I can understand, 1 that stands out was just ridiculous. I had a coffee date set up with this girl when I was in my mid 20s, she was 21/22. I show up to the place 10 minutes early, and she no shows. That's fine, I get anxiety myself, but not only does she no show, but when I get back to my house 20 minutes after the scheduled meetup I find out from my roommate that she texted him asking if he wanted to come over.

He had no idea who she was, never heard from her before, and he's a very portly individual. Something like 5'6 340 lbs. Very nice dude, but not someone you would immediately imagine getting that text. Plus he was already in the process of seeing a chick and just forgot to deactivate his pof account.

I get it, you don't want to meet up, they can be scary, but have the decency to say "sorry, I don't feel comfortable meeting you".

I'm a very messed up person, when I was in my 20s I suffered from ADD, Tourettes and Undiagnosed Sleep Apnea which messes up your mind quite a bit as you don't process information properly and makes you a bit more awkward around people. But of the 15 or so people that I've met up with for dates only 5 of them actually didn't get a 2nd date.

3 of them were psychopaths, 1 was an idiot, and the last we just didn't meld romantically but became close friends. And btw when I mean psychopath, I mean psychopath.

Person 1 got pissed off at me for buying her a single flower on our 3rd date, proceeded to tell me that if I ever broke up with her she'd make me disappear and when I told her to get out of the car proceeded to ask me to come inside her home and get her pregnant. Person 2 lied up front about smoking, drank all my liquor while I was sleeping, and had multiple ID cards which I only found out after she went into a full blown alcohol induced seizure (do you realize how much booze you have to drink to have one of those?), and the 3rd just talked about putting her co-workers into a meat grinder which ended the date there and then. The idiot just invited me to her gig and then proceeded to avoid me the entire night.

i agree with TT, but most people don't so it's just something we have to accept

the world is literally full of cowards. can't blame them though, i've been a coward most of my life. now i see it as stupid and useless but my change of opinion isn't going to convince anyone, so just deal with it.

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The average person won't actually take the time to explain why they're no longer interested in you. Part of that is because they'd feel too mean if they told you directly, "Oh, sorry, I'm no longer interested in you because blah blah have a nice day", as ironic as that is when they're probably hurting you more by ghosting you. That's just how the game goes, though. You should never expect others to bring true happiness in your life, unless you've actually established a meaningful relationship with them. "Oh, I can't believe this person I had one date with walked out on me" What did you really expect?

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I think ghosting is generally something you shouldn't do in a vacuum. I don't really understand why people on CE get so invested in people who they've had one date with though.


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I'm ghosting scammers trying to get money from me.

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Ghosting is best. Guys like you can't handle the truth and can't let women go.

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Fucked world we live in, though, for real. Accept the game, be careful in how you open up to others and expect rejection. Even if you never find "the one", it's not a big deal.

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Also, ghost girls too. They handle rejection worse than men do.

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Fony posted...

Also, ghost girls too. They handle rejection worse than men do.

Lol no, they don't. Not even close.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzTuBuRdAyA

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I agree. Ghosting is dumb. Thankfully, that seems way more common with younger women than older ones.

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Lol of course you got a bunch of nerds on a game site defending your date

If you haven't figured out already TC, making this topic here was "preaching to the choir". Theres hardly any women here. Men don't ghost nearly as often as women do.

Dating is is similar to economics and it effects the sexes differently. Supply and demand. Men are in high supply, women are in high demand. Men can act poorly when women don't like them, which is why ghosting is common among them.

But yeah ghosting is shitty

Fony posted...

ghost girls

god i wish i had a ghost gf

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lolife67 posted...

Lol no, they don't. Not even close.

Lol they do, and it's not even close.

Drrobotniks posted...

Lol they do, and it's not even close.

Women tend to physically assault men when they get turned down? How often does this happen?

Everyone's different. Can't generalize people like this.

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dioxxys posted...

Lol of course you got a bunch of nerds on a game site defending your date

This reminds me of back in elementary school, kids would tease other kids for being seen at K-Mart..yet, the ones teasing were ALSO in K-Mart to have seen them there.

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i only ghost people who don't deserve the dignity of closure by virtue of their behavior

for anyone else i'll be straightforward

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lolife67 posted...

Women tend to physically assault men when they get turned down? How often does this happen?

Pretty often my guy

Drrobotniks posted...

Pretty often my guy

Any actual evidence of this?

Ghosting is so common now, people thank me when I reject them.

Ive gotten many responses that say something like Wow, Thankyou for being upfront and not ghosting me

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Yefoloogi posted...

Ghosting is so common now, people thank me when I reject them.

Ive gotten many responses that say something like Wow, Thankyou for being upfront and not ghosting me

Its because we are in the era of nobody knowing how to communicate.

People treat real life like a phone. Like you can just *block* relationships you dont want anymore.

Its super weird. Sending a text takes no more effort than ghosting.

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Its because we are in the era of nobody knowing how to communicate.

taking hints and cues is a really big part of that.

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