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AzurexNightmare 11/22/21 11:34:11 AM #1: |
This takes place ten years after Resident Evil Village. Ethan now has a new wife and is laying low in Juarez, Mexico.
A shady looking individual knocks at the door. Ethan: *answers the door* Look, buddy. I told you. Yo. No. Vendo. Mota. Get the fuck out of here. Don't come back. Ethan's New Wife: Ethan. Quien es? Ethan: Uh... Nadie. Nobody. Ethan's New Wife Antonia: Ethan te dije que no contestas la pinche puerta culero... No mames guey... Ethan: Antonia. I told you. I don't know that much Spanish. Antonia: QUE? Ethan: Yo. No. Se. Mucho. Fucking. Espanol. Comprende!? Holy shit... I'm done with this for today *walks away holding his new baby Guadalupe.* Yeah, that's right. We named you after Antonia's mother. Or her aunt... Suddenly Chris shows up and kicks down the door. Him and his squad shoot the shit out of Antonia Antonia: AY CARAJO!!!!!!!!! *falls on the ground and dies* Ethan: Chris!? AGAIN!? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THIS TIME!? WHY DO YOU KEEP MOVING ME PLACES WHERE BAD SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chris: I'm sorry, Ethan. Take him away. Ethan: NO!!!!! NOT THIS TIME. LOOK YOU MOTHER FU- Chris: LISTEN TO ME YOU SON OF A BITCH. *slaps Ethan* YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION THIS TIME? FINE. I'M NOT THE FUCKING BAD GUY. YOU KNOW WHO IS? CAPCOM. THEY FORCE ME TO MOVE YOU TO THESE SHITTY PLACES. I HAVEN'T BEEN MYSELF SINCE I WAS IN RESIDENT EVIL 5. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM ANYMORE. THE LAST TIME I DID I WAS ON A FUCKING SAFARI PUNCHING BOULDERS AND DODGING ALLIGATORS. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME? Ethan: Boulders? Chris: This isn't even my fucking series. The only reason they call this Resident Evil is because IT SELLS. You look like a fucking Silent Hill character. Resident Evil wasn't supposed to be scary anymore. I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT. I HAVEN'T HAD A FUCKING BREAK. I WAS IN RESIDENT EVIL 5, RESIDENT EVIL 6, RESIDENT EVIL 7, THE MERCENARIES ON 3DS, REVELATIONS, REVELATIONS HD, I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION? EMAIL CAPCOM. FUCK YOU. I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT!!!!!!!! SO NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR NEW DAUGHTER AND WE ARE GOING TO WING THIS SHIT OKAY? Ethan: ... O-....... Okay. --- Latest Game Completed 100% Resident Evil VII ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Smiffwilm 11/22/21 11:36:38 AM #2: |
Question: Did you finish Village?
--- My Mario Maker 2 ID is 6RG-5XK-JCG ... Copied to Clipboard!
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TeaMilk 11/22/21 11:43:19 AM #3: |
Riveting. When does El Duke show up?
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SSJ2GrimReaper 11/22/21 11:44:05 AM #4: |
TeaMilk posted...
Riveting. When does El Duke show up?he shows up SKINNY --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Rapid99 11/22/21 11:44:51 AM #5: |
SSJ2GrimReaper posted...
he shows up SKINNY Never canceled a pre-order so fast --- Formerly Smidge | The last ASCII artist. https://gfascii.art/ ... Copied to Clipboard!
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skermac 11/22/21 11:47:51 AM #6: |
i just want jill valentine, im done with ethan but whatever type game it will be they will slap on the re name is o sell more copies like they did with villiage which was an ok game nothing special but was not resident evil except in title only
--- To the edge of the universe and back, endure and survive ... Copied to Clipboard!
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TeaMilk 11/22/21 12:26:51 PM #7: |
SSJ2GrimReaper posted...
he shows up SKINNYWTF fuck Capcom --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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viewmaster_pi 11/22/21 12:36:57 PM #8: |
call of juarez, mexico?
--- Cold wind blowing through the walls There's nothing in this world that's ours ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DocileOrangeCup 11/22/21 10:10:21 PM #9: |
This is a really good post
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Ving_Rhames 11/22/21 10:10:58 PM #10: |
... Copied to Clipboard!
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Solid Sonic 11/22/21 10:11:45 PM #11: |
Resident Evil DOMINATRIX
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SauI_Goodman 11/22/21 10:11:46 PM #12: |
President evil *insert picture of joe biden*
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Teh_Dr_Phil 11/22/21 10:11:49 PM #13: |
cringe
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Waifu-man 11/22/21 10:15:46 PM #14: |
Ving_Rhames posted...
Tired of Ethan.Cancel H3H3 --- "I believe there's a waifu in all of us..." https://imgur.com/FOwYa9c By Homeless_Waifu ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Solid Sonic 11/22/21 10:16:16 PM #15: |
Ving_Rhames posted...
Tired of Ethan. --- It is more important to use your anonymity to upset other people than it is to do anything productive. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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SocialistGamer 11/22/21 10:16:32 PM #16: |
Resident Evil PenIX
--- Capcom is the best developer ever! Steam ID: SocialistGamer92 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Smiffwilm 11/22/21 10:25:27 PM #17: |
SocialistGamer posted...
Resident Evil PenIXResident Evil CervIX --- My Mario Maker 2 ID is 6RG-5XK-JCG ... Copied to Clipboard!
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LeoRavus 11/22/21 10:27:46 PM #18: |
If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series.
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Chicken 11/22/21 10:29:38 PM #19: |
LeoRavus posted...
If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series. --- May contain bones https://youtu.be/jGbI0P4hh3o ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Waifu-man 11/22/21 10:29:54 PM #20: |
W
LeoRavus posted... If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series.I never seen ethan face Is he identified as abused hands? --- "I believe there's a waifu in all of us..." https://imgur.com/FOwYa9c By Homeless_Waifu ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Solid Sonic 11/22/21 10:30:35 PM #21: |
Someone should really tell these Ethan haters...
--- It is more important to use your anonymity to upset other people than it is to do anything productive. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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SSJ2GrimReaper 11/22/21 10:31:37 PM #22: |
... Copied to Clipboard!
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LeoRavus 11/22/21 10:33:49 PM #23: |
Waifu-man posted...
W Did you unlock all the figures? This is Ethans Capcom's trolling hard with this. I hope they don't try to bring him back. --- This is where cool people write stuff. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Smiffwilm 11/22/21 10:39:27 PM #24: |
LeoRavus posted...
Did you unlock all the figures? This is EthansHey, nothing to lose your head over... --- My Mario Maker 2 ID is 6RG-5XK-JCG ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#25 | Post #25 was unavailable or deleted. |
Smackems 11/22/21 10:42:39 PM #26: |
LeoRavus posted...
Did you unlock all the figures? This is EthansThey need to face it. No one likes him --- Common sense led me to a stinky cave - some dude ... Copied to Clipboard!
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