Current Events > Resident Evil NINE

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AzurexNightmare 11/22/21 11:34:11 AM #1:	This takes place ten years after Resident Evil Village. Ethan now has a new wife and is laying low in Juarez, Mexico. A shady looking individual knocks at the door. Ethan: answers the door Look, buddy. I told you. Yo. No. Vendo. Mota. Get the fuck out of here. Don't come back. Ethan's New Wife: Ethan. Quien es? Ethan: Uh... Nadie. Nobody. Ethan's New Wife Antonia: Ethan te dije que no contestas la pinche puerta culero... No mames guey... Ethan: Antonia. I told you. I don't know that much Spanish. Antonia: QUE? Ethan: Yo. No. Se. Mucho. Fucking. Espanol. Comprende!? Holy shit... I'm done with this for today walks away holding his new baby Guadalupe. Yeah, that's right. We named you after Antonia's mother. Or her aunt... Suddenly Chris shows up and kicks down the door. Him and his squad shoot the shit out of Antonia Antonia: AY CARAJO!!!!!!!!! falls on the ground and dies Ethan: Chris!? AGAIN!? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THIS TIME!? WHY DO YOU KEEP MOVING ME PLACES WHERE BAD SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chris: I'm sorry, Ethan. Take him away. Ethan: NO!!!!! NOT THIS TIME. LOOK YOU MOTHER FU- Chris: LISTEN TO ME YOU SON OF A BITCH. slaps Ethan YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION THIS TIME? FINE. I'M NOT THE FUCKING BAD GUY. YOU KNOW WHO IS? CAPCOM. THEY FORCE ME TO MOVE YOU TO THESE SHITTY PLACES. I HAVEN'T BEEN MYSELF SINCE I WAS IN RESIDENT EVIL 5. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM ANYMORE. THE LAST TIME I DID I WAS ON A FUCKING SAFARI PUNCHING BOULDERS AND DODGING ALLIGATORS. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME? Ethan: Boulders? Chris: This isn't even my fucking series. The only reason they call this Resident Evil is because IT SELLS. You look like a fucking Silent Hill character. Resident Evil wasn't supposed to be scary anymore. I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT. I HAVEN'T HAD A FUCKING BREAK. I WAS IN RESIDENT EVIL 5, RESIDENT EVIL 6, RESIDENT EVIL 7, THE MERCENARIES ON 3DS, REVELATIONS, REVELATIONS HD, I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION? EMAIL CAPCOM. FUCK YOU. I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT!!!!!!!! SO NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR NEW DAUGHTER AND WE ARE GOING TO WING THIS SHIT OKAY? Ethan: ... O-....... Okay. --- Latest Game Completed 100% Resident Evil VII <cite>AzurexNightmare posted [p:960241046] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>This takes place ten years after Resident Evil Village. Ethan now has a new wife and is laying low in Juarez, Mexico. A shady looking individual knocks at the door. Ethan: answers the door Look, buddy. I told you. Yo. No. Vendo. Mota. Get the fuck out of here. Don't come back. Ethan's New Wife: Ethan. Quien es? Ethan: Uh... Nadie. Nobody. Ethan's New Wife Antonia: Ethan te dije que no contestas la pinche puerta culero... No mames guey... Ethan: Antonia. I told you. I don't know that much Spanish. Antonia: QUE? Ethan: Yo. No. Se. Mucho. Fucking. Espanol. Comprende!? Holy shit... I'm done with this for today walks away holding his new baby Guadalupe. Yeah, that's right. We named you after Antonia's mother. Or her aunt... Suddenly Chris shows up and kicks down the door. Him and his squad shoot the shit out of Antonia Antonia: AY CARAJO!!!!!!!!! falls on the ground and dies Ethan: Chris!? AGAIN!? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THIS TIME!? WHY DO YOU KEEP MOVING ME PLACES WHERE BAD SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chris: I'm sorry, Ethan. Take him away. Ethan: NO!!!!! NOT THIS TIME. LOOK YOU MOTHER FU- Chris: LISTEN TO ME YOU SON OF A BITCH. slaps Ethan YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION THIS TIME? FINE. I'M NOT THE FUCKING BAD GUY. YOU KNOW WHO IS? CAPCOM. THEY FORCE ME TO MOVE YOU TO THESE SHITTY PLACES. I HAVEN'T BEEN MYSELF SINCE I WAS IN RESIDENT EVIL 5. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM ANYMORE. THE LAST TIME I DID I WAS ON A FUCKING SAFARI PUNCHING BOULDERS AND DODGING ALLIGATORS. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME? Ethan: Boulders? Chris: This isn't even my fucking series. The only reason they call this Resident Evil is because IT SELLS. You look like a fucking Silent Hill character. Resident Evil wasn't supposed to be scary anymore. I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT. I HAVEN'T HAD A FUCKING BREAK. I WAS IN RESIDENT EVIL 5, RESIDENT EVIL 6, RESIDENT EVIL 7, THE MERCENARIES ON 3DS, REVELATIONS, REVELATIONS HD, I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION? EMAIL CAPCOM. FUCK YOU. I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT!!!!!!!! SO NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR NEW DAUGHTER AND WE ARE GOING TO WING THIS SHIT OKAY? Ethan: ... O-....... Okay. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Smiffwilm 11/22/21 11:36:38 AM #2:	Question: Did you finish Village? --- My Mario Maker 2 ID is 6RG-5XK-JCG <cite>Smiffwilm posted [p:960241097] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Question: Did you finish Village? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
TeaMilk 11/22/21 11:43:19 AM #3:	Riveting. When does El Duke show up? --- http://large.horse/ Show icons on posts: https://openuserjs.org/scripts/melon/GameFAQs_Show_Icon <cite>TeaMilk posted [p:960241261] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Riveting. When does El Duke show up? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SSJ2GrimReaper 11/22/21 11:44:05 AM #4:	TeaMilk posted... Riveting. When does El Duke show up? he shows up SKINNY --- Big Apple, 3 A.M. https://imgur.com/YzjFA85 https://imgur.com/CqukfNH <cite>SSJ2GrimReaper posted [p:960241286] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>TeaMilk posted... </cite> <quote>Riveting. When does El Duke show up?</quote>he shows up SKINNY </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Rapid99 11/22/21 11:44:51 AM #5:	SSJ2GrimReaper posted... he shows up SKINNY Never canceled a pre-order so fast --- Formerly Smidge \| The last ASCII artist. https://gfascii.art/ <cite>Rapid99 posted [p:960241308] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>SSJ2GrimReaper posted... </cite> <quote>he shows up SKINNY</quote> Never canceled a pre-order so fast </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
skermac 11/22/21 11:47:51 AM #6:	i just want jill valentine, im done with ethan but whatever type game it will be they will slap on the re name is o sell more copies like they did with villiage which was an ok game nothing special but was not resident evil except in title only --- To the edge of the universe and back, endure and survive <cite>skermac posted [p:960241379] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>i just want jill valentine, im done with ethan but whatever type game it will be they will slap on the re name is o sell more copies like they did with villiage which was an ok game nothing special but was not resident evil except in title only </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
TeaMilk 11/22/21 12:26:51 PM #7:	SSJ2GrimReaper posted... he shows up SKINNY WTF fuck Capcom --- http://large.horse/ Show icons on posts: https://openuserjs.org/scripts/melon/GameFAQs_Show_Icon <cite>TeaMilk posted [p:960242434] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>SSJ2GrimReaper posted... </cite> <quote>he shows up SKINNY</quote>WTF fuck Capcom </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
viewmaster_pi 11/22/21 12:36:57 PM #8:	call of juarez, mexico? --- Cold wind blowing through the walls There's nothing in this world that's ours <cite>viewmaster_pi posted [p:960242682] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>call of juarez, mexico? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DocileOrangeCup 11/22/21 10:10:21 PM #9:	This is a really good post --- https://imgur.com/kHnd6lr https://imgur.com/uG042id https://imgur.com/tIfDfZH https://imgur.com/xhtRl8w https://imgur.com/ggQozRe https://tinyurl.com/Corn-420 <cite>DocileOrangeCup posted [p:960258794] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>This is a really good post </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Ving_Rhames 11/22/21 10:10:58 PM #10:	Tired of Ethan. --- the real Irving Rameses https://imgur.com/A7f6F9h <cite>Ving_Rhames posted [p:960258812] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Tired of Ethan. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Solid Sonic 11/22/21 10:11:45 PM #11:	Resident Evil DOMINATRIX --- It is more important to use your anonymity to upset other people than it is to do anything productive. <cite>Solid Sonic posted [p:960258834] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Resident Evil DOMINATRIX </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SauI_Goodman 11/22/21 10:11:46 PM #12:	President evil insert picture of joe biden --- If you can see this message it's a wonder why it hasn't been modded yet by the snowflakes. <cite>SauI_Goodman posted [p:960258835] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>President evil insert picture of joe biden </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Teh_Dr_Phil 11/22/21 10:11:49 PM #13:	cringe --- Yep. <cite>Teh_Dr_Phil posted [p:960258836] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>cringe </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Waifu-man 11/22/21 10:15:46 PM #14:	Ving_Rhames posted... Tired of Ethan. Cancel H3H3 --- "I believe there's a waifu in all of us..." https://imgur.com/FOwYa9c By Homeless_Waifu <cite>Waifu-man posted [p:960258955] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Ving_Rhames posted... </cite> <quote>Tired of Ethan.</quote>Cancel H3H3 </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Solid Sonic 11/22/21 10:16:16 PM #15:	Ving_Rhames posted... Tired of Ethan. ~~______~~ --- It is more important to use your anonymity to upset other people than it is to do anything productive. <cite>Solid Sonic posted [p:960258968] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Ving_Rhames posted... </cite> <quote>Tired of Ethan.</quote> ______ </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SocialistGamer 11/22/21 10:16:32 PM #16:	Resident Evil PenIX --- Capcom is the best developer ever! Steam ID: SocialistGamer92 <cite>SocialistGamer posted [p:960258976] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Resident Evil PenIX </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Smiffwilm 11/22/21 10:25:27 PM #17:	SocialistGamer posted... Resident Evil PenIX Resident Evil CervIX --- My Mario Maker 2 ID is 6RG-5XK-JCG <cite>Smiffwilm posted [p:960259232] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>SocialistGamer posted... </cite> <quote>Resident Evil PenIX</quote>Resident Evil CervIX </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
LeoRavus 11/22/21 10:27:46 PM #18:	If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series. --- This is where cool people write stuff. <cite>LeoRavus posted [p:960259315] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Chicken 11/22/21 10:29:38 PM #19:	LeoRavus posted... If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series. --- May contain bones https://youtu.be/jGbI0P4hh3o <cite>Chicken posted [p:960259370] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>LeoRavus posted... </cite> <quote>If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series.</quote> </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Waifu-man 11/22/21 10:29:54 PM #20:	W LeoRavus posted... If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series. I never seen ethan face Is he identified as abused hands? --- "I believe there's a waifu in all of us..." https://imgur.com/FOwYa9c By Homeless_Waifu <cite>Waifu-man posted [p:960259386] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>W LeoRavus posted... </cite> <quote>If Ethan somehow winds up in that I'm fucking done with the series.</quote>I never seen ethan face Is he identified as abused hands? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Solid Sonic 11/22/21 10:30:35 PM #21:	Someone should really tell these Ethan haters... --- It is more important to use your anonymity to upset other people than it is to do anything productive. <cite>Solid Sonic posted [p:960259408] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Someone should really tell these Ethan haters... </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SSJ2GrimReaper 11/22/21 10:31:37 PM #22:	Ethan. No. --- Big Apple, 3 A.M. https://imgur.com/YzjFA85 https://imgur.com/CqukfNH <cite>SSJ2GrimReaper posted [p:960259452] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Ethan. No. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
LeoRavus 11/22/21 10:33:49 PM #23:	Waifu-man posted... W I never seen ethan face Is he identified as abused hands? Did you unlock all the figures? This is Ethans Capcom's trolling hard with this. I hope they don't try to bring him back. --- This is where cool people write stuff. <cite>LeoRavus posted [p:960259512] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>Waifu-man posted... </cite> <quote>W I never seen ethan face Is he identified as abused hands?</quote> Did you unlock all the figures? This is Ethans Capcom's trolling hard with this. I hope they don't try to bring him back. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Smiffwilm 11/22/21 10:39:27 PM #24:	LeoRavus posted... Did you unlock all the figures? This is Ethans Capcom's trolling hard with this. I hope they don't try to bring him back. Hey, nothing to lose your head over... --- My Mario Maker 2 ID is 6RG-5XK-JCG <cite>Smiffwilm posted [p:960259678] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>LeoRavus posted... </cite> <quote>Did you unlock all the figures? This is Ethans Capcom's trolling hard with this. I hope they don't try to bring him back.</quote>Hey, nothing to lose your head over... </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
#25	Post #25 was unavailable or deleted.
Smackems 11/22/21 10:42:39 PM #26:	LeoRavus posted... Did you unlock all the figures? This is Ethans Capcom's trolling hard with this. I hope they don't try to bring him back. They need to face it. No one likes him --- Common sense led me to a stinky cave - some dude <cite>Smackems posted [p:960259803] in Resident E... [t:79773102]...</cite> <quote>LeoRavus posted... </cite> <quote>Did you unlock all the figures? This is Ethans Capcom's trolling hard with this. I hope they don't try to bring him back.</quote>They need to face it. No one likes him </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Resident Evil NINE (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Resident Evil NINE