Poll of the Day > welcome to the library of chelsea's intrusive thoughts

(+) Yeah! (+)

i should try to cut off one of my fingers with these scissors

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No, but you should make sure you are staying hydrated.

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was holding a huge butcher knife earlier and i had the thought "what if i michael myers'd myself"

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im going to wear a huge gaudy statement necklace everywhere, and whenever anybody comments on it ill call them transphobic

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chelsea_wtf posted...

im going to wear a huge gaudy statement necklace everywhere, and whenever anybody comments on it ill call them transphobic

What does the necklace have to do with transgenders? Seems very insensitive on your part.

im a very insensitive person

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BEERandWEED posted...

What does the necklace have to do with transgenders? Seems very insensitive on your part.

its a joke, sunny

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That person is not me.

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Clearly, dirty soap and Kirby are the same person.

Also, calling somebody transphobic untruthfully is not funny.

BEERandWEED posted...

Also, calling somebody transphobic untruthfully is not funny.

when are we getting married

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chelsea_wtf posted...

when are we getting married

Never.

Why not :(

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I'd never kill myself, but I have the persistent constant intrusive thought of doing it pretty much non-stop

Like, I'm typing this and drinking soda and my inner monologue is like "hobby knife, table, eyeball, DO IT"

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https://youtu.be/Q9yKaI0vLJs

its called pure ocd

i used to have thoughts like that all the time.

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catboy dan's a major player in the catboy scene

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hes gonna start a warrrrr

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CANT DO IT NOT EVEN lF SOBER

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he can't get that engine turned over

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im glad i made this topic lol, posting neurotic thigns that are stuck in my head really helps me externalize them. if anybodys annoyed by it feel free to not read it. also there's a "hide" button hidden on the first post of the topic you can click on to hide the topic

i keep thinking over and over about the inadequacy of infinite grace to actually absolve people of their sins. like any kind of personal relationship with jesus christ is so embarassingly impossible to realize - how can you bond with something in the world of forms. it's like being friends with the platonic ideal of a circle. you can only have a one-way relationship with something perfect, and it can't ever forgive you. im so certain any bridge between the physical and spiritual like jesus's manifestation as a human is doomed to failure and corruption. thats how you get another demiurge bro. the crazy thing is if you want forgiveness you have to get it from all the other fucked up people who are stuck here

im imagining having a covnersation with jesus now where im like 'wow thanks for saving me bro' and he's like 'uhhhh yeah no problem heh heh ( );;'


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im really bummed i didnt catch them on tour this year. last time i saw them, i met Isaac after the show

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i havent enjoyed concerts in the past but its been like years so i think maybe i would now. i was kinda sad i missed the mountain goats earlier this year :(

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chelsea enters the battlefield with 3 brick counters on it.

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I have alot of intrusive thoughts too, like at night when I'm trying to sleep I keep thinking things like "I kinda wish I'd get stabbed/beat up"or some other variation of nearly getting killed, and I kinda theorize it's kinda like my brains way of trying to get me to fall asleep. There's other stuff to too that happens in the middle of the day but that's situational and thankfully hasn't been as frequent lately.

i barely think of wanting people to kill me as an intrusive thought anymore. its kind of comforting to imagine. the tough part is finding a tall beautiful woman who wants to commit a hate crime on me

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ive started using the phrase 'abused by my brother' to describe the way my brother treated me when i was a kid/teenager/early 20s but i sort of feel like an impostor or a liar when i say it, because part of me doesn't think it 'counts' as abuse. but he yelled at me all the time for insane stuff (because i wouldnt 'admit' i was gay, because i wouldnt 'admit' i was lying about knowing what a word meant when i couldnt explain it very well, because i asked him to turn his music down, etc).

and one time he hit me and bit my ear when i tried to get in between him and my mom, and then he stole my keys and drove my car off. but i was like 22 at the time so this part of my brain that wants to choke me out for lying thinks it doesnt count

anyway so now i have this overwhelming urge to 'admit' im lying about being abused, i wonder where that comes from hmm

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bit ear and stole car?

Yeaaaah, that's abuse

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chelsea_wtf posted...

ive started using the phrase 'abused by my brother' to describe the way my brother treated me when i was a kid/teenager/early 20s but i sort of feel like an impostor or a liar when i say it, because part of me doesn't think it 'counts' as abuse. but he yelled at me all the time for insane stuff (because i wouldnt 'admit' i was gay, because i wouldnt 'admit' i was lying about knowing what a word meant when i couldnt explain it very well, because i asked him to turn his music down, etc).

and one time he hit me and bit my ear when i tried to get in between him and my mom, and then he stole my keys and drove my car off. but i was like 22 at the time so this part of my brain that wants to choke me out for lying thinks it doesnt count

anyway so now i have this overwhelming urge to 'admit' im lying about being abused, i wonder where that comes from hmm

Duuuude I was about to post something similar but I didn't wanna come off as making issues out of nothing, one of my brothers was borderline abusive when I was around 12-14, he'd hit me occasionally trying to teach me jujitsu which I had no interest in and a couple of times he'd lock me in a room with him to get me to do an essay and draw art, he was trying to help me get interested in drawing like I did when I was even younger but the way he went about was abusive. He still yells at me alot and I think he's trying to help but it doesn't and just makes me feel worse if I cant get past it. My first memory of him is him being really mean when I was 4 too.

And listing to other people stories of abusive siblings mine always seems to come off as not-abusive at all, like yours, I'd say yours is absolutely abusive.

Cruddy_horse posted...

Duuuude I was about to post something similar but I didn't wanna come off as making issues out of nothing, one of my brothers was borderline abusive when I was around 12-14, he'd hit me occasionally trying to teach me jujitsu which I had no interest in and a couple of times he'd lock me in a room with him to get me to do an essay and draw art, he was trying to help me get interested in drawing like I did when I was even younger but the way he went about was abusive. He still yells at me alot and I think he's trying to help but it doesn't and just makes me feel worse if I cant get past it. My first memory of him is him being really mean when I was 4 too.

And listing to other people stories of abusive siblings mine always seems to come off as not-abusive at all, like yours, I'd say yours is absolutely abusive.

yeah its rough feeling like what happened to you isnt real or important. dissociation is real messy. im sorry that stuff happened to you

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its so weird how almost every amab software engineer around my age ends up either buying a tesla or transitioning

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T4T sex is a lot like linux

i can never get the sound working right

im gonna come up with like 30 of these

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it's ok to fake being gay for clout you're VALID ~

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is there a kind of lobotomy where they just take out the part of my brain that wants to find Logical Fallacies in genocidal manifestos about people like me

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gay people have too many holidays

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when are they gonna make madden 08 2

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gonna show this to my ffs surgeon
<img src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Nn-Rz6lBGW0/hqdefault.jpg">

DirtBasedSoap posted...

when are they gonna make madden 08 2

i asked my uncle and he's working on it right now. theyre adding horses

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chelsea_wtf posted...

gonna show this to my ffs surgeon
<img src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Nn-Rz6lBGW0/hqdefault.jpg">

i asked my uncle and he's working on it right now. theyre adding horses

omg, Football polo would be soooo much more fun than Golf polo

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im reading terf forums again. wish i had a cooler way to self-harm than this

theyre pretty funny though. like yeah lady, i definitely inject drugs that kill my sex drive for a fetish

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how come nobody ever told me before i started hormones how annoying it is shaving underneath my tits. that should be in the informed consent thing imo

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I... have no chest hair below the nips - just a big thick top diamond

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chelsea_wtf posted...

its so weird how almost every amab software engineer around my age ends up either buying a tesla or transitioning

Is a tesla cure for gender dysphoria?

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chelsea_wtf posted...

gay people have too many holidays

Lol

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UltraIchi posted...

Lol

look at this nonsense https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LGBT_awareness_periods
people are supposed to be aware of me like half the year. sounds fuckign awful

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Whatever gets people out of work

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Are others allowed to post their intrusive thoughts? Not sure I have any but curious

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sure go ahead

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ever feel like whenever people look at you that they're looking right through you?

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life sometimes feels like a blessing and sometimes like a test and the most annoying part is getting comfortable with either frame of mind

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for a man so blatantly alienated, it's a bit ironic i find isaac brock's "spaciest" album the least sincere

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im trying to book flights for a christmas trip and it makes me want to die

UltraIchi posted...

ever feel like whenever people look at you that they're looking right through you?

god i wish i felt like that lol


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Consider a train

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