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littlebro07 09/20/21 8:03:52 PM #1: |
She was a stillborn at 25 weeks. No clue what happened yet, theyre running tests on stuff like the placenta, amniotic fluid, and my wifes blood. They said a lot of the time with stillbirth there isnt a cause found, which on one hand is frustrating as hell because you wanna know why your child is dead but on the other it means theres not really a risk when were ready to try for another. Everything was going well with the pregnancy, 20 week ultrasound was perfect, and she was feeling kicks the whole time.
Being as far in as she was we had to go to the hospital so she could be delivered and we got to hold her and spend time with her for a bit. Had to be monitored a few extra days for my wifes blood pressure but were home now. We were so ready to have our little girl. Her room is already fully furnished, decorated, painted, closet full of all her clothes for the first year, etc. I dont know when well be ready to open her door again. A week ago we were talking about her baby shower, and today we signed paperwork to have her cremated. This just really fucking sucks. We spent over three years trying naturally and then got pregnant last year but had an early miscarriage at 5 weeks, then did a bunch of IUI rounds to get our angel this time. None of that was covered by insurance so still paying off those bills and now we get the emotional trauma on top of it. --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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g0ldie 09/20/21 8:04:54 PM #3: |
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Weezy_Tha_Don 09/20/21 8:05:20 PM #5: |
damn, really sorry to hear that man
--- https://imgur.com/hwZyGuA - courtesy of the homie United_World I speak my mind, cause biting my tongue hurts. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Jabodie 09/20/21 8:05:42 PM #6: |
I'm very sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how difficult this is to process.
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Neoconkers 09/20/21 8:06:01 PM #7: |
that sucks, sorry
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Drpooplol 09/20/21 8:06:01 PM #8: |
I'm so sorry, tc
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Drpooplol 09/20/21 8:06:14 PM #9: |
Winrawr posted...
just get a rescue humanEat shit and die --- "Or do you want to know more about my vagina?" *LIE* "No" ... Copied to Clipboard!
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gunplagirl 09/20/21 8:07:45 PM #11: |
Damn. Sorry about that, TC.
--- tfw no big tiddy goth vampire gf who lactates blood - viewmaster_pi ... Copied to Clipboard!
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sabrestorm 09/20/21 8:08:28 PM #12: |
Very sorry for your loss
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MistressPaige 09/20/21 8:08:39 PM #13: |
Oh hunny xx Im so sorry for your loss
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littlebro07 09/20/21 8:08:50 PM #14: |
Drpooplol posted...
Eat shit and die as insensitive as that post was, we are open to adoption but we just really wanted to have one of our own. My wife loved carrying our daughter. --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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TreyFlowers 09/20/21 8:10:28 PM #15: |
Holy fuck, I'm so sorry to hear. My wife is 26 weeks, and we had a miscarriage last year at 6 weeks.
I could imagine how you feel right now. So sorry to hear. --- ...for it is better to be alone than in bad company. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Kanaya413 09/20/21 8:11:02 PM #16: |
So sorry ):
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Zikten 09/20/21 8:14:25 PM #18: |
I am so sorry. That sounds awful.
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littlebro07 09/20/21 8:15:41 PM #19: |
TreyFlowers posted...
Holy fuck, I'm so sorry to hear. My wife is 26 weeks, and we had a miscarriage last year at 6 weeks. The one thing Ill regret for the rest of my life is not being with my wife when she found out. I went to all the appointments up to 20 weeks and then started a new job and planned on going to the ones with ultrasounds after that and then the last few checkups before birth. We had no reason to believe anything would go wrong since the odds of losing one after the first trimester are extremely low. IIRC a stillbirth is only like 1 of every 160 births in the US. When were ready to try again, assuming the tests come back and say we can safely try again, Im not missing a single appointment. --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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AlleyViper620 09/20/21 8:16:20 PM #20: |
Sorry to hear that man
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FortuneCookie 09/20/21 8:16:48 PM #21: |
I'm sorry. :(
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gunplagirl 09/20/21 8:18:45 PM #22: |
littlebro07 posted...
as insensitive as that post was, we are open to adoption but we just really wanted to have one of our own. My wife loved carrying our daughter.If they're your kid, they're yours. Blood or not. What's important is you doing your best for them, and loving them and protecting them. I definitely can understand why she'd have liked the feeling. After all, most women want to at some point be a mother the way women have since the beginning of our species. --- tfw no big tiddy goth vampire gf who lactates blood - viewmaster_pi ... Copied to Clipboard!
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TreyFlowers 09/20/21 8:23:18 PM #23: |
littlebro07 posted...
The one thing Ill regret for the rest of my life is not being with my wife when she found out. I went to all the appointments up to 20 weeks and then started a new job and planned on going to the ones with ultrasounds after that and then the last few checkups before birth. We had no reason to believe anything would go wrong since the odds of losing one after the first trimester are extremely low. IIRC a stillbirth is only like 1 of every 160 births in the US. Yeah, after last year I haven't missed one and won't. I would recommend some therapy to help you both recover. A lot of the time the focus is on the mother (understandably so), and the father doesn't get the support or even the time to grieve because they're trying to help the mother. Make sure you take care of yourself too. As my wife said to me last year after the miscarriage, "they tell you to put oxygen on yourself first on planes before helping other people". --- ...for it is better to be alone than in bad company. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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MrResetti 09/20/21 8:32:00 PM #24: |
Happened to two coworkers of mine. Exact same thing. They now have a healthy baby girl. Don't give up. Sorry for your loss.
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PiOverlord 09/20/21 8:38:15 PM #25: |
I'm really sorry TC. That's heartbreaking to hear.
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Fony 09/20/21 8:39:00 PM #26: |
Damn. Sorry man.
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K181 09/20/21 8:39:13 PM #27: |
I'm so sorry. I wish you and your wife the best.
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treewojima 09/20/21 8:40:41 PM #28: |
Holy shit, I'm so sorry. I'm not even sure what to say other than that
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Ruvan22 09/20/21 8:43:02 PM #29: |
I'm sorry - I remember reading some of the great stories of you and your wife ... you two definitely would have been awesome parents
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One_Day_Remains 09/20/21 8:44:41 PM #30: |
I'm sorry TC. Hoping the situation gets better for you
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lilORANG 09/20/21 8:46:08 PM #31: |
I'm sorry TC. that has to be the worst feeling in the world. Best wishes to ya.
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257Loner 09/20/21 8:49:21 PM #32: |
I'm sorry TC. I'm very sorry to hear that.
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Shablagoo 09/20/21 8:51:55 PM #33: |
Im really sorry TC, that was really heartbreaking to read.
Dont give up hope. One of my best friends in high school, her wonderful self and her equally wonderful younger brother their parents had a slew of miscarriages before they had them. --- "If you wanna grow your business you need to exploit more." ~Austin_Era_II "Out of those two? Racist for me... easily." ~Vicious_Dios ... Copied to Clipboard!
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kingdrake2 09/20/21 8:54:54 PM #34: |
gunplagirl posted...
If they're your kid, they're yours. Blood or not. What's important is you doing your best for them, and loving them and protecting them. this is correct. --- Explorers In The Further Regions Of Experience, demons to some, Angels To Others: Pinhead ... Copied to Clipboard!
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__aCEr__ 09/20/21 8:56:13 PM #35: |
Oh damn I saw you mention that you'd been at a hospital for a bit. That's really awful that that's the reason. Really sorry about the loss.
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Vicious_Dios 09/20/21 8:56:33 PM #36: |
I'm glad that you both aren't giving up yet, but man, the toll it has on you after years of this ongoing tragedy would drive any one else way past insane.
What were you planning on naming her, if I may ask?. --- S / K / Y / N / E ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Zodd3224 09/20/21 8:57:42 PM #37: |
Damn that sucks. My wife and I had a miscarriage at 5 months. Decided not to try again for a while but she ended up pregnant again 2 months later and that was our 1st child.
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gamestunner 09/20/21 9:00:55 PM #38: |
My brother goes through this a lot with his wife. I know how you feel.
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Guide 09/20/21 9:02:12 PM #39: |
I'm sorry for your loss, tc. Can't imagine handling that.
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nfearurspecimn 09/20/21 9:02:27 PM #40: |
oh shit I'm so sorry that sucks TC
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dj1200 09/20/21 9:02:29 PM #41: |
Oh man, condolences brother. RIP
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Questionmarktarius 09/20/21 9:02:50 PM #42: |
Somethings going on if this is a repeated instance. Make sure you and your wife don't have an Rh mismatch. That can screw things up pretty hard.
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Rowdy54 09/20/21 9:03:18 PM #43: |
I'm so sorry TC. Best wishes for you and your wife.
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bladegash 09/20/21 9:07:22 PM #45: |
Me and my wife lost 2, but after we already had 2. We werent planning the two we lost but she had already made it to the third trimester for both. If only there were any words anyone could say to help, but just be there for your wife and keep your chin up man.
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littlebro07 09/20/21 9:12:31 PM #46: |
Questionmarktarius posted...
Somethings going on if this is a repeated instance. Make sure you and your wife don't have an Rh mismatch. That can screw things up pretty hard. We had a shitload of blood tests done on both of us as part of the fertility clinics process, idk if that wouldve been something theyd look for but they didnt find anything bad in any of them --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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berlyman101 09/20/21 9:13:12 PM #47: |
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MrToothHasYou 09/20/21 9:13:23 PM #48: |
Thats horrible to hear, Im sorry your family has to go through that. I know it doesnt help to hear now, but you arent alone in your grieving. Dont be afraid to reach out for support, even if its just online (there are plenty of forums built around supporting families who have lost their pregnancies). Dont be afraid to take time for yourselves, either.
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segasaturn 09/20/21 9:13:50 PM #49: |
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Questionmarktarius 09/20/21 9:14:14 PM #50: |
littlebro07 posted...
idk if that wouldve been something theyd lookYes it would, likely the first thing. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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g980 09/20/21 9:15:42 PM #51: |
that sucks so bad, really sorry for your loss
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Rypt 09/20/21 9:28:41 PM #52: |
Dude, don't talk about that shit here. People will troll the shit out of you.
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